iwillstealyourjawbone

[iwillstealyourjawbone]

Uh, hi! i love you so much and can i get some body swap batbros (Same as orginal, Dick in Dami's, tim in jasons, Dami in tims and Jason in dicks) focused on Dick? Like experiences and stuff, or maybe nostalgia of when Dick was that young, or maybe a slight change in personality while he's in dami's body?

@princess-macademia asked for more bodyswap headcanons too, so how about I do a few with the other batboys in addition to Dick’s, that way I can fulfill both requests in one shot. Mostly just because I’m lazy. Also I’m thirsty so the sooner I finish this the sooner I can go drown myself in some refreshing tap water.

• Dick: “I am overcome by the sudden urge to punch Tim in the face.” Tim: “Please don’t.” Dick, crying: “I’m so rry Timmy but I mus t.”

• Jason, going through Dick’s closet: “Why is there jelly in the pockets of every single article of clothing you own???? I’m about to cry????”

• Dick calls Wally and asks to hang out, but Wally turns him down because “I’m not a good babysitter I don’t even own a car seat.” “I’m not an actual child though? I’m 25 years old. I own a car. We got drunk together last week.” “I could have Artemis take you to Chuck E Cheese’s if that helps.” “…….Okay.”

• Tim unlocks Jason’s secret ability to sing really well and spends the whole time they’re swapped belting out every Celine Dion hit he can think of.

• Dick, now a cute ten year-old, insists that Bruce take him out for ice cream after patrol like the good old days and is appalled to learn that Bruce hasn’t been upholding that tradition since Dick became Nightwing. After they all go back to normal, he makes a point of taking his siblings out for ice cream every night after patrol because ice cream night is important.

• Damian, sitting in Tim’s office at WE, leaning back in the chair with his feet up on the desk: “Karen, please have my lawyer rewrite my will and demand he change it so my delightful little brother Damian inherits this company and is made rightful CEO when I’m murdered.” “Don’t you mean if you’re murdered?” “Did I stutter, Karen?”

[iwillstealyourjawbone]

Since I've been laughing at you batboys switching bodies post for the last 20minutes, think you can do one of Bruce and Damian in a 'freaky Friday' scenario? Thanks dude

• It was prob some rogue who did it, just because he was bitter and wanted to make Batman miserable for a day.

• Damian, stumbling around in his new 6’2 body: “Why do I suddenly feel like a goth skyscraper.” *trips over his vampire cape*

• Bruce is so beyond caring at this point, he doesn’t even react much besides frowning so deeply his face cramps up and sighing the heaviest sigh he’s ever sighed. Last time he got body-swapped was almost two months ago when he spent a week in Hal’s body. He was so close to breaking his record of Longest Time Without Getting Spelled.

• When Bruce and Damian return from patrol, Dick immediately runs up to Damian. Dick: “Hey, Dami! How’s my favorite little munchkin doing?” Bruce, his deep man voice coming from Damian’s bean-like body: “Fine, and you?” Dick: o__o

• Alfred, ever the comedian, insists that Bruce wears Damian’s footie pajamas instead of his usual ginormous three-piece-suits because “I will not have any child of mine wearing ill-fitting clothes, Master Bruce. And besides, this one has little Thomas the Train characters on it.”

• Damian, standing in front of Bruce’s floor-length mirror in one of the identical gray suits he found in his dad’s closet: “Yes, it is I, the one and only Bruce Wayne. What is that, Shelby? Go to Lex Luthor’s pool party with you? Why of course, you know I can never turn down a free sundae bar. Perhaps we can even drink champagne in the ball pit and visit the pet store to pet all the puppies because, as an adult, I now have that privilege.”

• Tim, not yet aware of the switcharoo situation: “Hey, Bruce.” Damian: “Choke on a spoon and die.” Tim, crying: “B-Bruce??”

[iwillstealyourjawbone]

can we have more body swap headcanons? I love them so much!

Aye aye, captain.

(Recap: It’s Tim in Jason’s body, Jason in Dick’s, Dick in Damian’s, and Damian in Tim’s)

• Tim: “Does this mean I’m allowed to use a gun?” Dick:€ *walking by and taking the gun away* “I think the fuck not.”

• Damian is excited to finally drive without getting pulled over constantly for being a ten year old. Turns out he still gets pulled over just as often because in Tim’s body, people still think he is.

• Dick: “Hey Babs, how’s it going babe?” Barbara, backing away slowly: “No thank you…now I kinda feel like a pedophile…..call me when you’re back in your own body……”

• Dick, taking advantage of his teeny tiny Damian voice: ”Christmas, Christmas time is here. Time for toys and time for cheer. We’ve been good but we can’t last. Hurry Christmas—“

• Tim, crying on the couch as he struggles to put on pants: “These new meaty thighs can’t fit in my skinny jeans.”

• Kon: *flies in and hugs Tim’s body* “Hey bro, what’s up?” Damian: “I will kill you with two fingers if you don’t release me you actual drumstick.”

[iwillstealyourjawbone]

I meant more body swap headcanons lol but more headcanons in general would be awesome too! what ever you have motivation to do

(For any new viewers: Damian is in Tim’s body, Tim in Jason’s, Jason in Dick’s, Dick in Damian’s)

• Dick: “Huh, so this is what it feels like to be a virgin again.”

• It took a couple hours for the four of them to explain the situation to the family. Every time they tried to say something, Steph and Alfred would just burst into laughter again. Barbara kept calling them dumb for getting spelled and had to restrain herself from calling in every hero they knew because honestly, how can they not tell people the bat brothers all got body-swapped so they can laugh with them? Bruce just looked both unsurprised and too tired for this shit.

• They didn’t even have to explain the situation to Cass because immediately she understood just by watching their body language. She knew all of their mannerisms and usual facial expressions well, so it wasn’t hard for her to figure out they got body-swapped.

• Dick was pleasantly surprised to find that he’d inherited Damian’s natural art abilities. He spent the duration of that time drawing Luigis on every available surface in permanent marker.

• Tim: “Why do I feel something other than crippling depression, anxiety, and self loathing?? What is happening, my normal brain is far darker than this.” (Damian, in the distance: “I!! CAN’T!! STOP!! CRYING!!”)

• Tim is disappointed when his new hands are too big to fit into the cookie jar. It’s the most tragic thing to ever happen to him.

• Jason goes through Dick’s closet for clothes to wear: “THESE ARE ALL MINE! FIRST TIM, NOW YOU, WHY DO YOU PEOPLE KEEP STEALING MY STUFF??”

• The first few times Tim walks around in Jason’s body, he keeps falling and tripping over his feet. He’s not used to being so tall and heavy, especially compared to how he used to be a toothpick. Walking around in Jason’s body is like walking in six-inch heels with a winter coat made of pure muscle.

• Jason: “Why do I feel a strange urge to flirt with every redhead I encounter?? This is so creepy, earlier I saw a Wendy’s commercial and my nose stared bleeding.”

[iwillstealyourjawbone]

This was so fun to think about, seriously you’re awesome and I love you anon ♥️

Damian:

• *looks in the mirror five seconds after the spell hit. gasps* “I’m HIDEOUS!!!”

• Wayne Enterprises employee, smiling brightly: “Good morning Mr. Drake-Wayne. How are you today?”

Damian: “I don’t know but you’re fired.”

• He gets so fed up with having to push Tim’s bangs from his eyes that he resorts to borrowing Cass’ sparkly butterfly hair clips to keep them up and out of his face.

• “Why am I only an inch taller than I used to be? I still can’t reach Pennyworth’s cookie jar even on my tiptoes. You need to grow more, Drake.”

• He finds out why Tim wears long sleeves so often, but he doesn’t say anything to Tim about it. He does file it away for future conversation, though, and he monitors Tim more closely even after the whole incident is over.

• “Damian, why are you chugging an entire carton of milk?”

“Because Drake is too small for me to tolerate any longer. I’m a beanpole. A toothpick. A runt amidst a litter of bats.”

• *goes outside for an hour* “HOW THE HELL AM I SO SUNBURNED??? WHAT ARE YOU, A VAMPIRE???”

• He’s sad when his pets don’t recognize him and run when he tries to pet them. As a solution, he douses his entire body in catnip. Turns out Tim never told him he was allergic to catnip, so that was an interesting discovery.

• He has to drink at least four cups of coffee a day or else he gets sick because at this point Tim is addicted to coffee.

Same goes for normal food. Eating ramen noodles with goldfish and butterscotch pudding is fine, but he ate one (1) apple and his body tried to reject it.

• Ives: “Hey Timbo, what’s up?”

Damian: “Uh….Hello, associate of mine. Feeling very fleek today. Everything is cool beans. Crackalackin.”

Tim:

• “Why are my pecs so huge.” *cups them* “They feel like rock hard muscle melons. Like a cantaloupe filled with pure power. What strong breasticles.”

• He’s amazed by the amount of muscle on Jason’s body and spends most of his time trying to see what stuff he can crush with his bare hands.

*breaks a stick in half* “I AM ALMIGHTY.”

• He braids Jason’s white streak and pins it back with some pink hair clips Steph gave him.

*poses in the mirror* “I’m a buff zombie princess.”

• *on the phone with Roy* “Hey Roy, so remember that secret I told you once and demanded you never to tell anyone else? Yeah, that one. Would you mind explaining it to me in explicit detail, slowly so I can write it all down.”

• *gentle gasp* “I’m allowed to drink alcoholic beverages in this body.”

*later that night after his fifth shot of appletini* “DO YOU EVER JUST THINK ABOUT THE MUPPETS AND CRY??? KERMIT THE FROG MAN, KERMIT THE FROG.”

• He has to wear sunglasses and a hat whenever he goes out because he has to make sure no one in Gotham recognizes the late Jason Todd.

• The first time he sees what Jason’s body really looks like under all the armor and layers, he’s shocked. Jason doesn’t take his shirt off in front of people much because he’s embarrassed by all the scars. Tim tries not to look at them because he knows Jason doesn’t like sharing this detail with anyone, but occasionally he finds himself absently tracing the autopsy scar under his shirt. He has a new respect for Jason after this whole ordeal.

Jason:

• “I feel like an overcooked noodle.”

• Adjusting to how flexible Dick is turns out to be quite the experience. He does the splits with no problem. He swings from a tree branch and lands on the ground as fluid as a leaf. He does four backflips in a row.

Jason, cartwheeling through the room: “Watch as he flips with the greatest of ease, the rad noodle man on the flying trapeze.”

Dick, in his tiny Damian voice: “That’s not even how the song goes!”

• “Why does my mouth taste like ketchup and ice cream 24/7. What do you eat, Dick.”

• At first he thinks it’ll be nice for once, being able to walk around Gotham without worrying about people recognizing him as being a dead man. Turns out, it’s almost worse when he can’t go to a McDonald’s without a bunch of paparazzi and fan girls following him around and begging to take a picture with the hottest Wayne boy.

• He goes to the police precinct for work and is on edge the whole time because this is the first time in years he’s been surrounded by cops who don’t want to arrest him.

• Catcaller: “Hey, nice ass!”

Jason: “Thanks, I got it from my brother!”

• Dick from the next room: “If you smoke in my body and give me cancer I’ll kill you!”

Jason, with a lit cigarette in his mouth: “It’s a metaphor, you see. I died once and I’ll die again because I’m not a fucking coward.”

• After he’s back in his own body: “Hey, I wonder if I can still do all that flipsy shit.”

Later: “So, Master Jason, tell me again how you shattered your collarbone?”

Dick:

• He eats one (1) cheeseburger, but unfortunately forgot about Damian being vegetarian so he winds up getting violently sick because the body he’s in doesn’t accept meat anymore. So that was a learning experience.

• “Why does it physically hurt to smile. Who hurt you, Damian.”

“A bunch of assassins and a psychopath for a grandfather.”

• Damian may be athletic, but he’s nowhere near as stretchy as Dick is used to. He tries putting his leg behind his head and nearly breaks his pelvis.

One upside is he’s far smaller and lighter in Damian’s body, which makes swinging around on the trapeze a breeze. He’s like an Acrobat Barbie doll.

• He has to call Tim for help when he can’t reach his cereal on the top shelf.

Tim, walking into the kitchen half asleep and confused: “Are you one of Santa’s elves?”

Dick, sobbing on the floor: “I CAN’T REACH MY FRUITY PEBBLES”

• He starts crying again later that afternoon because “THIS WEAK ASS BODY CAN’T EAT SRIRACHA WHAT AM I GOING TO DO NOW???”

• He stands in the middle of the room and watches all the adults bustle around: “I am a bean. A tiny chihuahua. A mere flea in a world of elephants and woosles.”

• “If there is one upside to all of this body-swapping, at least I can finally use the Dora the Explorer baby toothpaste without being ridiculed.”

• Jon: “Hi, Dami! What’s up?”

Dick: *to himself* “Hmmm what would Damian say…Oh, I know!”

To Jon: “Salutations, comrade. Photosynthesis. Lackadaisical. The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.”

[iwillstealyourjawbone]

hey, you! yes, you! do you like:

john milton’s paradise lost (or the band paradise lost. c’mon please anyone)

dante’s inferno

queer romance

romance that turns into tragedy

angels

when people know deep in their soul that lucifer and michael are so so fruity

so much flower symbolism

dealing with the knowledge that the weight of your actions will devour you until the end of days

GAY angels

then boy do i have the story for you!

i'm c.o. lopez, a queer disabled ND white/filipino writer working on a queer retelling of the devil’s tragedy called Sons of God.

lucifer is the oldest angel, tasked by a distant god with rearing all angels born after him, including the second-born michael.

as heaven develops at their feet and more angels are born, the pair grow closer, but the growing roles given to lucifer by the absent father and michael’s search for his identity, along with lucifer’s questioning of the lord and michael’s devotion, begin to drive them apart.

above it all, the lord sits on his lotus throne, watching and waiting in silence.

content warnings: along with graphic violence and sexual content, this book contains depictions of blasphemy, mental instability, psychosis, self-harm, and emotional neglect. all of the angels also refer to each other as ‘brother’, including those in relationships. these warnings are currently subject to change, so make sure to check them every so often!

below are some tags that'll be used a lot (for more, look at my featured tags!):

sons of god: a general catch-all for book-related things; any tags below besides no-soggy-waffles will inherently include this

no-soggy-waffles: non-writing stuff, ex. paintings, cats, memes, w/e

soggy-draft: any writing snippets up until being finished

soggy-shitposts: memes about SOG

soggy-asks: writing-related asks

soggy-art: any drawings

sog [character name] will be used for any posts about specific characters, ex. 'sog lucifer' or 'sog asmodeus'

i hope you'll join me on this journey of gay angels and god sucking and saying screw you to catholicism!

[iwillstealyourjawbone]

Trump just declared that there are only 2 genders, so this is your reminder to get WEIRDER and QUEERER gang

[iwillstealyourjawbone]

[iwillstealyourjawbone]

itt ergonomic keyboard

[iwillstealyourjawbone]

anyway some designs/thoughts ???

[iwillstealyourjawbone]

my favorite thing is when x posts a video of him playing guitar and a whole new group of ppl realize that he’s rly metal

[iwillstealyourjawbone]

🌙 celestial siblings☀️

[iwillstealyourjawbone]

but the good news is:

[iwillstealyourjawbone]

Western lesbian representation is so bad. It’s either the series gets cancelled, a character dies, they don’t get screentime, or the storyline only focuses on the homophobia they face.

Meanwhile in Thai GL, there have been over 30 series announced for 2025 alone. And let me tell you, there’s something for everybody. Space lesbians, childhood best friends to lovers, period drama lesbians, boss x employee trope, multiple couples and love triangles, mafia action lesbians, idol x bodyguard trope, lesbian with powers to control time, prisoner lesbians, black cat x golden retriever trope, crime-solving lesbians, messy sapphic friend groups who are all in love with each other, high-school sweetheart fluff, weddings, happy endings and so much more. And this is just the beginning. There will be many more great series to come in the future.

The only thing that’s stopping more western people from watching is because of subtitles. Which is such a pity because these people say “there’s no good lesbian representation”, but there is. You just have to be better at looking for it. Don’t set yourself up for disappointment anymore, don’t watch something for the bare minimum representation.

As Bong Joon Ho once said:

[iwillstealyourjawbone]

A 28-year-old motorcyclist died in Washington State on Friday afternoon because a dipshit Tesla driver rear-ended him at speed. A Snohomish man, 56, was commuting in his 2022 Tesla Model S when he activated the car’s camera-based advanced driver assist system and according to his statements to police, began looking through his phone. With nobody paying attention to the car’s actions, the Tesla software ignored Jeffrey Nissen on his motorcycle and continued on at speed. The car rear-ended the two-wheeler, Nissen was flung from the bike, and his life ended pinned underneath the electric car, where he was still lodged when police arrived to the scene.

Tesla claims another life.

Reminder that even if you are personally aware of how dangerous Tesla vehicles are and vow to never ride in one, they can still kill you.

My own driving habits have changed around them. I always give Teslas extra space, avoid following them directly, and expect them to stop or swerve suddenly without notice.

Cannot count the times I've pulled up next to a Tesla at freeway speed, noticed the driver playing on their phone. Tap the horn. They look up with surprise.

Please, don't be that guy.

[iwillstealyourjawbone]

✅ Triangular geometric design ✅ Tendency to build a dangerous level of heat ✅ "heavily armored" ✅ Made by a fascist asswipe

This is a Harrison Armory frame