Kelsey. I feel like I have so much passion inside me that it dulls me. I see the world differently, there is beauty everywhere and I want to share what I see.
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You are almost like a drug to me. You know me, knew me. There are parts of me you still know, and there are parts of you that I still know. And I want to know you now. To get that same high you always gave me. You truly are my one that got away and I have no idea how to move on and live with that. You, will always be in the corner of my mind. A memory of a feeling that won’t go away. Perhaps I haven’t tried hard enough to get rid of you, or perhaps I don’t want to. I am addicted to you though. Of that I am sure.
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I went through a box of our stuff today. A box of memories. And I thought of you. Fondly. With joy. But also with sorrow. But I hope this finds you well. I hope you have found a happiness in life to fill the spot I left. To take away any pain I caused.
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How do I stop spinning and get on the right path again? I'm not who I want to be and I don't know how to fix it.
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Thoughts in my head
-I miss Shane.
-I don’t think I’m happy in my marriage.
-I hate the military, it’s sucking my soul.
-I have no friends.
-I’m getting to that point where I normally starting kissing other people....and I’m fighting it.
-I want to cut
-I want to cry
-I want to scream
-I want crawl into bed and never get up.
-I also want to go to the gym and get buff
-I want to adventure
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I have the urge to cut. And the only thing stopping me is the fact that I can't hide it. Not even from David... from the Air Force. And I miss the shit out of Shane. Idk why... I've just been thinking about him. I think he's my one that got away.... I loved him. I miss him. All I want is to talk to him. But I don't even know where to start and I don't want to start flirting because then I'll be cheating on David with Shane. It will become a trend. And that's not fair to Shane.... I just wish I had given him the chance he deserved. At least kissed him....
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She would sit by the ocean. Just staring out at the waves for hours. It calmed her soul, to see them rhythmically crashing onto the shore. She found them beautiful. She would watch the groups of friends that came to spend the day, and she envied them. She didn’t have friends. Not like that. She had “friends”. The kind that were your friends until someone better came along. That’s how it had always been for her. She spent her whole like making “friends” and introducing them to each other and then watching them become better friends. She always wondered if it was her. What was so wrong with her that she couldn’t have just one true, lifelong friend? That’s not true. She had friends. She had her fiance and her oldest friend, S. They had been friends since their freshman year of high school, and no matter where life took them, they had always been the truest of friends, even family.
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This thought is oddly comforting yet also paralyzingly terrifying at the same time.
In just 100 years, pretty much everyone you know will be gone. The world will be occupied by a brand new set of people.
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Rest in Peace, Carrie Fisher
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Magpul Field Case iPhone 6
Magpul Field Case iPhone 5
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I hate the phrase “You clean up nice” because it implies I look like shit the rest of the time.
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Calming masterpost:
crisis/urgent support lines and sites
hotlines/crisis lines for depression, domestic abuse, alcohol and drug abuse, teens, pregnancy, lgbt and more
mental support community - a forum where you can post that you are in a crisis right now and need peer support as soon as possible
imalive crisis chat - online one-on-one chat for if you’re in at risk of hurting yourself etc
self harm alternatives
si urges alternatives
relaxation/anxiety relief
do nothing for two minutes
interactive silk art
guided relaxation
watch a dream
100,000 stars
thisissand - create sandscapes on your screen with your mouse
calming gif
the quiet place project
the quiet place - find some quiet
the thoughts room - a super calm page to unburden yourself from bad thoughts
the comfort spot - a place for anonymous venting with out anybody judging you for who you are
the dawn room - my personal favourite, especially good for when you feel alone
know that it will be okay - when a moment is too hard for you - come here.
music and sounds
my anxiety relief playlist - on 8tracks
my positivity/recovery playlist - on 8tracks
‘stay strong’ playlists - on 8tracks
coffee shop sounds
rain sounds
calmsound - nature sounds
rainycafe
comfort food
one minute cookie in a mug
brownie in a mug
several cookie recipes
25 hot chocolate recipes
loads and loads of snacks - 533 quick and easy recipes for a range of snacks on studentrecipe
lots of different in-a-mug recipes
chocolate pudding in a mug - my personal fave (lil tip: add mini marshmallows for extra gooey yumminess)
advice and tips
how to be okay with yourself
25 resolutions
life hacks
more life hacks
a hella ton more life hacks - so many life hacks dude soon ur gonna never have a day-to-day stress again
school masterpost - school sucks so bad but hopefully this can help ease the stress
how to love yourself
how to bypass restricted wifi omg
alleviate menstrual cramps
boost your confidence
love yourself!
self help after anxiety
stop biting your nails
stop procrastinating
stop skipping breakfast
videos and movies
cure to sadness (video)
the movie blog - a blog dedicated to movie masterposts you will never be without a movie to watch again
cute roulette - THE BEST PLACE ON THE INTERNET ITS LITERALLY JUST A HUGE ROULETTE OF VIDEOS OF CUTE ANIMALS WHAT MORE COULD YOU WANT FROM LIFE
random acts of kindness caught on film
disney movies
movies for angsty teens
distractions etc
rice questions - answer simple questions and donate free rice to people in poverty!!
click to give - just click a button to donate (it costs nothing) food to animals shelters, people in poverty and homeless veterans; mammograms to fight breast cancer; therapy for people on the autism spectrum; alzheimer’s and diabetes research; a book to a child; protect wildlife habitat
break something - good for anger
loads of cute games
how to make a blanket nest
learn something new - a masterpost of hobbies
exercise like a superhero
nice words
things to do when your sad
slap a bald guy with an eel - this is ridiculously entertaining
watch a dog lick your screen - it loops, so you could literally watch for hours if you want
calmingmanatee
daily puppy
how to make a comfort box
download free books
extras
emergency compliment!
lots of compliments - they even include ur name aw
huge list of bloggers who have put themselves forward as willing to listen/chat without judgement
getting anon hate?
:) tag - all the posts that i’ve tagged for making me happy
7cupsoftea - free, anonymous, confidential talks with trained listeners
get a hug
Calming songs, playlists and instrumentals:
Sing Me to Sleep
The Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Boost your Mood (peppier and happy songs)
The Driving Mixtape
Study
Summer Nights
It’s Going to be Fine
Calm & Collected
Once Upon a December - Piano (song)
Clair de Lune (song)
The Moon is a Harsh Mistress (song)
Calming/distracting Websites
The Quiet Place
Rainymood.com
Calm.com
Soundrown.com - calming sounds to mix and match
A website to distract yourself
A recovery masterpost
A post of interesting things
Ungruntle yourself
Press a magic button and fix everything
Play cute games
Almost every movie your little heart desires (i suggest you use with adblocker)
How to love yourself
A website that compliments you
Crafts and activities, easy and fun DYI projects
Glitter calm jars
A list of things to do to curb anxiety
Make a blanket nest
Silky summer legs
Lots of food recipes; mostly desserts
For bad days masterpost
Make some microwave snacks
Five minute fudge
Make a phone case
A bunch of hobbies!
Self care list!
Pretty gold-dipped feathers (for decorating or anything)
What to do when:
You’ve been triggered
You’re having an anxiety attack
You’re having a panic attack
Your face is red and puffy after crying
You just had a fight
You hate yourself
You want to avoid being stressed
You want to get over your ex
Meditation and breathing
Guided Meditations
Do Nothing for 2 Minutes
Calm Down
Meditation Tips
90 second relaxation exercise
Simple things
Pretty Tree
When You Feel You Have Lost Everything
See Some BLOOD
Press a Button to Make Everything OK
Calming Manatee
Calming Gif
Make Something!
Jump into a Sofa Fort!
Make a Comfort Box
Glitter Jar Or This One
Other Nice Things
A Page To Help You Recover!!!
Coping Skills & Distractions
The Quiet Place. Shhhhh
For When You’re Upset
The Nicest Place on the Internet
Player 2
10 Most Relaxing Online Games
Talk To Someone That Will Listen
Not Having a Good Day?
How-to Love Yourself
Ground Yourself X X X
Mood Chart
Do Nothing For Two Minutes
Rainymood
The Comfort Spot
Weave Silk
Seed Plant Breeder
This Is Sand
C.A.L.M
Calming/Relaxing Music:
Soft Piano: x, x, x, x, x
The Sound of Waves: x
The Sound of a Storm + Waves: x
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101 self care ideas for when it all gets too much
1. Have a good, long, body-shaking cry.
2. Call a trusted friend or family member and talk it out.
3. Call in sick. Take comp time if you can. Take a mental health day.
4. Say no to extra obligations, chores, or anything that pulls on your precious self-care time.
5. Book a session (or more!) with your therapist.
6. Dial down your expectations of yourself at this time. When you’re going through life’s tough times, I invite you to soften your expectations of yourself and others.
7. Tuck yourself into bed early with a good book and clean sheets.
8. Watch a comforting/silly/funny/lighthearted TV show or movie.
9. Reread your favorite picture and chapter books from childhood.
10. Ask for some love and tenderness from your friends on social media. Let them comment on your post and remind you that you’re loved.
11. Look at some some really gorgeous pieces of art.
12. Watch Youtube videos of Ellen DeGeneres and the adorable kids she has on her show.
13. Look at faith-in-humanity-restoring lists from Buzzfeed.
14. Ask for help. From whoever you need it – your boss, your doctor, your partner, your therapist, your mom. Let people know you need some help.
15. Wrap yourself up in a cozy fleece blanket and sip a cup of hot tea.
16. Breathe. Deeply. Slowly. Four counts in. Six counts out.
17. Hydrate. Have you had enough water today?
18. Eat. Have you eaten something healthy and nourishing today?
19. Sleep. Have you slept 7-9 hours? Is it time for some rest?
20. Shower. Then dry your hair and put on clothes that make you feel good.
21. Go outside and be in the sunshine.
22. Move your body gently in ways that feel good. Maybe aim for 30 minutes. Or 10 if 30 feels like too much.
23. Read a story (or stories) of people who overcame adversity or maybe dealt with mental illness, too. (I personally admire JK Rowling’s story.)
24. Go to a 12-Step meeting. Or any group meeting where support is offered. Check out church listings, hospital listings, school listings for examples.
25. If you suspect something may be physiologically off with you, go see your doctor and/or psychiatrist and talk to them. Medication might help you at this time and they can assist you in assessing this.
26. Take a long, hot bath, light a candle and pamper yourself.
27. Read these inspirational quotes.
28. Cuddle someone or something. Your partner. A pillow. Your friend’s dog.
29. Read past emails/postcards/letters etc. from friends and family reminding you of happier times.
30. Knit. Sculpt. Bake. Engage your hands.
31. Exhaust yourself physically – running, yoga, swimming, whatever helps you feel fatigued.
32. Write it out. Free form in a journal or a Google doc. Get it all out and vent.
33. Create a plan if you’re feeling overwhelmed. List out what you need to do next to tackle and address whatever you’re facing. Chunk it down into manageable and understandable pieces.
34. Remember: You only have to get through the next five minutes. Then the next five. And so on.
35. Take five minutes to meditate.
36. Write out a list of 25 Reasons Why You’ll Be OK.
37. Write out a list of 25 Examples of Things You’ve Overcome or Accomplished.
38. Write out a list of 25 Reasons Why You’re a Good, Lovable Person.
39. Write out a list of 25 Things That Make Your Life Beautiful.
40. Sniff some scents that bring you joy or remind you of happier times.
41. Ask for support from friends and family via text if voice-to-voice contact feels like too much. Ask them to check in with you via text daily/weekly. Whatever you need.
42. Lay down on the ground. Let the earth/floor hold you. You don’t have to hold it all on your own.
43. Clean up a corner of a room of your house. Sometimes tidying up can help calm our minds.
44. Ask yourself: What’s my next most immediate priority? Do that. Then ask the question again.
45. Read some poetry. Rumi, Hafiz, Mary Oliver are all excellent.
46. Take a tech break. Delete or deactivate social media if it feels too triggering right now.
47. Or maybe get on tech. If you’ve been isolating maybe even interacting with friends and family online might feel good.
48. Go out in public and be around others. You don’t have to engage. But maybe go sit in a coffee shop or on a bench at a museum and soak up the humanity around you.
49. Or if you’re feeling too saturated with contact, go home. Cancel plans and tend to the introverted parts of yourself.
50. Ask friends and family to remind you that things will be OK and that what you’re feeling is temporary.
51. Put up some Christmas lights in your bedroom. They often make things more magical.
52. Spend a little money and treat yourself to some self-care and comfort. Maybe take a taxi versus the bus. Buy your lunch instead of forcing yourself to pack it. Buy some flowers that delight you.
53. Make art. Scribble with crayons. Splash some watercolors. Paint a rock. Whatever. Just create something.
54. Go wander around outside in your neighborhood and take a look at all the lovely houses and the way people decorate their gardens. Delight in the diversity of design.
55. Go visit or volunteer at your local animal rescue. Pet some animals.
56. Look at photos of people you love. Set them as the wallpaper of your phone or laptop.
57. Create and listen to a playlist of songs that remind you of happier times.
58. Read some spiritual literature.
59. Scream, pound pillows, tear up paper, shake your body to move the energy out.
60. Eat your favorite, most comforting foods.
61. Watch old Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood videos online.
62. Turn off the lights, sit down, stare into space and do absolutely nothing.
63. Pick one or two things that feel like progress and do them. Make your bed. Put away the dishes. Return an email.
64. Go to a church or spiritual community service. Sit among others and absorb any guidance or grace that feels good to you.
65. Allow yourself to fantasize about what you’re hoping or longing for. There are clues and energy in your reveries and daydreams that are worth paying attention to.
66. Watch Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response videos to help you calm down and fall asleep at night.
67. Listen to monks chanting, singing Tibetan bowls or nature sounds to help soothe you.
68. Color in some adult coloring books.
69. Revisit an old hobby. Even if it feels a little forced, try your hand at things you used to enjoy and see what comes up for you.
70. Go to the ocean. Soak up the negative ions.
71. Go to the mountains. Absorb the strength and security of them.
72. Go to the forest. Drink in the shelter, life and sacredness of the trees.
73. Put down the personal help books and pick up some good old fashioned fiction.
74. Remember: Your only job right now is to put one foot in front of the other.
75. Allow and feel and express your feelings – all of them! – safely and appropriately.Seek out help if you need support in this.
76. Listen to sad songs or watch sad movies if you need a good cry.
77. Dance around wildly to your favorite, most cheesy songs from your high school years.
78. Put your hands in dirt. If you have a garden, go garden. If you have some indoor plants, tend to them. If you don’t have plants or a garden, go outside. Go to a local nursery and touch and smell all the gorgeous plants.
79. If you want to stay in bed all day watching Netflix, do it. Indulge.
80. Watch or listen to some comedy shows or goofy podcasts.
81. Look for and Google up examples of people who have gone through and made it through what you’re currently facing. Seek out models of inspiration.
82. Get expert help with whatever you need. Whether that’s through therapy, psychiatry, a lawyer, clergy, let those trained to support you do it.
83. Educate yourself about what you’re going through. Learn about what you’re facing, what you can expect to feel, and how you can support yourself in this place.
84. Establish a routine and stick to it. Routines can bring so much comfort and grounding in times of life that feel chaotic or out of control.
85. Do some hardcore nesting and make your home or bedroom as cozy and beautiful and comforting as possible.
86. Get up early and watch a sunrise.
87. Go outside and set up a chair and watch the sunset.
88. Make your own list of self-soothing activities that engage all five of your senses.
89. Develop a supportive morning ritual for yourself.
90. Develop a relaxing evening ritual for yourself.
91. Join a support group for people who are going through what you’re going through. Check out the listings at local hospitals, libraries, churches, and universities to see what’s out there.
92. Volunteer at a local shelter or hospital or nursing home. Practice being of service to others who may also be going through a tough time.
93. Accompany a friend or family member to something. Even if it’s just keeping them company while they run errands, sometimes this kind of contact can feel like good self-care.
94. Take your dog for a walk. Or borrow a friend’s dog and take them for a walk.
95. Challenge your negative thinking.
96. Practice grounding, relaxation techniques.
97. Do something spontaneous. Walk or drive a different way to work. Order something new off the menu.Listen to a Spotify playlist of new songs.
98. Work with your doctor, naturopath or nutritionist to develop a physical exercise plan and food plan that will be supportive to whatever you’re facing right now.
99. Pray. Meditate. Write a letter to God/The Universe/Source/Your Higher Self, whatever you believe in.
100. As much as you can, please try and trust the process.
101. Finally, please remember, what you’re going through right now is temporary. It may not feel like that from inside the tough time you’re in, but this too shall pass and you will feel different again someday. If you can’t have faith in that, let me hold the hope for you
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