iwillshinehappiness

[iwillshinehappiness]

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dog: BARK

me (with the same tone and volume): WHAT

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Lemony is that you?

i have this writing style i like to call “uncertain.” it’s where the narrator isn’t really sure what they’re talking about either

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me: I’m going to bed early tonight.

me:

me: is that the sun

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Disney princess dog

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yo is this real 

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hunny, we never stopped

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It was life-changing for me when someone said that all coping mechanisms were necessary at some point and came from a place of survival. Behaviours that hurt you now at some point probably saved your life, because they helped you get through unimaginable trauma or symptoms, or because they helped you survive in an environment that wasn’t safe, or they helped you protect yourself against someone. Self-harm, disordered eating, and other trauma responses aren’t stupid or selfish, they’re your body trying to protect you with love, the best way it knows how. 

That’s why it’s so tough to break those habits and patterns, you can’t hate your way out of them. It’s been really helpful for me to reframe triggers and urges that way, instead of saying “you’re an adult you shouldn’t still be feeling like this, you’re stupid and immature for still wanting to self-harm” 

I’m trying to say things like 

“I appreciate the strength it took to learn this tool, I know it helped for a long time and it came from a place of love, but now it’s not helpful and we’re going to do something else because now I’m in a new situation and I have new and better tools.” (like journaling, playing music, talking to friends, going for a walk, listening to loud music)

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Self harm doesn’t always happen when a blade touches skin.

It’s skipping meals because you don’t feel like you deserve to eat today. It’s having sex because you want to be used or abused or defiled. It’s drinking recklessly because you might have the ‘courage’ do something stupid. It’s smoking - not because you need the nicotine - because you know it’s bad for you. It’s banging your head against a wall when you’re angry. It’s crossing the road without looking because you lowkey hope a car might hit you. It’s thinking about all the ways you could break a bone and make it look like an accident. It’s not taking painkillers because you want to suffer. It’s taking painkillers in excess because you know it’s dangerous. It’s walking home the more dangerous way because you’re kind of half hoping you’ll get attacked or raped or stabbed. It’s going for long walks at night and getting chilled to the bone and hoping that you get lost so that you can’t find your way back. It’s seeking out triggering material. It’s all the stupid little ways you punish yourself for existing.

Sometimes self harm happens when you put effort into depriving yourself of things you like or need, and sometimes it happens when you don’t put any effort into doing the things you like or need.

It’s a pattern of self-destructive behaviour, and it doesn’t only happen in one way.

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Personally I didn’t take it like that or really grasp the “ hoarder” part until looking at the comments. Im sure amazon is just trying to put a positive spin on it. I doubt the person who wrote it had malicious intent, just ignorance and unsure how to reply to someone through poor mental health buying a shit ton of stuff. Its not Amazon’s fault he has a disorder. Who caught him how to use the account? why don’t they change the password?

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Crystal Noreiga by Luca & Alessandro Morelli for Dolce & Gabbana FW 2018

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Paolo Sebastian | Fall/Winter 2019 Couture

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I didn’t like Stranger Things season 3

( Spoilers ) I can’t put my finger exactly on it but it was missing a lot of what 1 and 2 had that drew me in. I did not like the way Hopper was a possessive, jealous asshole to someone who was literally not even his girlfriend. That’s fucked and I have no patience for those people/ characters.  El had no real growth, we dont learn more about her, what the upside down is, where the powers come from, why they left!? She literally ends with not being able to use her powers. Not the story growth for her I was hoping for. Maybe their just setting it up for an awesome season 4 but in the meantime it makes for a pretty “ meh” 3  Honestly most of the whole entire season 3 plot is about billy ( ew ) and El learning to be herself and dump Mike, which totally cool and good for her, but was dragged through the whole season and didn’t really go anywhere or benefit the story imo.  Yeah Allexi was cute and sweet and all but he also made no sense at all. Random scientist who spills all the beans for a slurpee? really? reallllyyy? Come on. 

I think actually the lack of mystery is what kinda killed it for me. It was too much drama/ attempt at comedy, not enough solving the issues and suspense. Literally what sets off Joyce is Magnets. really. Thats it, thats all? all they could come up with? Their was no danger, no worry, she had no idea will was getting chills. If she ignored that or was too distracted she could have literally moved and not been affected at all, depending on how long the monster took to form, also what even was that? Blob organic material thing to form one giant monster? There was no continuity from the previous seasons.  Idk anyone else feel this way? I feel like everyone just saw their favs and ignored everything else.