itsteddydarling

[itsteddydarling]

Same hair, same eyes, same glasses, same obsession with aliens…these two cutie patooties are literally twins! 👽🛸

[itsteddydarling]

Playing Dead Plate when you have experience working at a restaurant allows me to relate to Rody on a spiritual level. Every time Rody has a dream about being cooked and eaten alive I’m reminded of the time I was overworked so much at my old job at a fast food restaurant I had a dream the restaurant was jam packed with customers and I had to take all of their orders but we had no burgers or fries in the kitchen so I ended up gutting myself and throwing all of my organs into the deep fryer.

[itsteddydarling]

Pomni: *invites Gummigoo to live at the Digital Circus*

Caine:

[itsteddydarling]

Gummigoo: Am I real? Are you real? Are any of us real? My life, my memories, my friends and family, all a lie?! Is this world nothing but a little story and I, a puppet dancing on strings?!

Pomni:

[itsteddydarling]

WHY AM I FOAMING AT THE MOUTH OVER THIS DEPRESSED, STRESSED, AND SMARTLY DRESSED CUTIE PATOOTIE? THIS ADORABLY DISTINGUISHED GENTLEMAN?

[itsteddydarling]

*finishes watching the second season of a series about a sweet, fluffy angel and a silly, goth demon that are in love that broke my heart*

Me, wiping away tears: Well, it can’t get any worse, can it?

*sees the trailer for the second season of a series about a sweet, fluffy pirate and a silly, goth pirate that are in love that broke my heart*

Me:

[itsteddydarling]

Yeah, that’s season two in a nutshell.

[itsteddydarling]

I’m just gonna give Neil Gaiman my two cents here. I hope Aziraphale’s apology dance to Crowley is as insanely extra as the half time shows performed that the Super Bowl. I want confetti, lasers, smoke machines, fireworks, backup dancers and singers, several outfit changes and stage transitions, and painstakingly intricate choreography, and I want it all to be live streamed throughout Heaven and Hell.

[itsteddydarling]

I’m a fucking dumbass for gaslighting myself into watching tv shows and anime series like I’m not about to be clotheslined by my emotions. Fleabag ripped my heart out, Jujutsu Kaisen and Demon Slayer went for the jugular, Our Flag Means Death roundhouse kicked me in the jaw, and Good Omens has me swallowing my teeth.

[itsteddydarling]

Just finished binge watching Good Omens Season Two! If anyone needs me in the next couple of days I’ll be:

[itsteddydarling]

Epilogue:

After an intense day of screaming, fighting, absurd cursing, and crying, Steven and Marc returned the great white shark to its rightful home, the ocean, and saved their beloved goldfishes from becoming shark bait. After that, Steven and Marc decided to gift an insanely livid Jake an alternative pet:

Jake was not happy.

Steven: *gushing at the fish tank* Don’t our goldfishes look absolutely darling in their little aquarium together?

Marc: Yup, bet you they’re little aquarium buddies.

Jack: *kicks open the apartment door* GUESS WHAT CHUCKLEFUCKS I JUST BOUGHT A GREAT WHITE SHARK FROM THIS JOE EXOTIC LOOKING BASTARD AND IT’S GOING IN THE BOWL.

[itsteddydarling]

Steven: *gushing at the fish tank* Don’t our goldfishes look absolutely darling in their little aquarium together?

Marc: Yup, bet you they’re little aquarium buddies.

Jake: *kicks open the apartment door* GUESS WHAT CHUCKLEFUCKS I JUST BOUGHT A GREAT WHITE SHARK FROM THIS JOE EXOTIC LOOKING BASTARD AND IT’S GOING IN THE BOWL.

[itsteddydarling]

You can’t fight crime if you ain’t cute sweetie.

May I present to you, Steven “Fix my outfit mid-fight” Grant.

[itsteddydarling]

Izzy Hands after meeting Stede and his pirate crew:

[itsteddydarling]

Stede is literally a fucking saint. Your entire pirate crew wants to commit mutiny upon you? Have a group discussion as to why and enthusiastically accept pointers on how to act like an authentic pirate. Blackbeard admits to wanting to murder you and assume your identity? Forgive and forget and befriend him after realizing he can’t live with himself otherwise. Wife finds a lover after you’ve abandoned her for a life at sea? Congratulate her on finding true love and thank the man that brings happiness into her life. I’m a petty bitch so I would have set the entire world on fire and let everyone burn in my hatred had they tried any of this bullshit on me.

[itsteddydarling]

I love how Stede can exquisitely describe things and be dramatic and flamboyant with fancy words and then we have Blackbeard who can’t seem to speak a single sentence without adding the word “fuck” or some other obscenities to everything he says but like in a jolly way God they both have such a way with words.

[itsteddydarling]

Never would’ve guessed that a show about an angel and a demon fighting to save the Earth and a show about comedic pirates would leave me starving for love and affection like holy fuck I want someone to hold my hand or rest their head on my shoulder or gaze into my eyes like I’m the eighth wonder of the world or cup my face gently as they kiss me or go out for a romantic lunch date because suddenly I’m feeling very empty on the inside.