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a million dreams

I close my eyes and I can see The world that's waiting up for me That I call my own Through the dark, through the door Through where no one's been before But it feels like home They can say, they can say it all sounds crazy They can say, they can say I've lost my mind I don't care, I don't care, so call me crazy We can live in a world that we design 'Cause every night I lie in bed The brightest colors fill my head A million dreams are keeping me awake I think of what the world could be A vision of the one I see A million dreams is all it's gonna take A million dreams for the world we're gonna make There's a house we can build Every room inside is filled With things from far away Special things I compile Each one there to make you smile On a rainy day   They can say, they can say it all sounds crazy They can say, they can say we've lost our minds I don't care, I don't care if they call us crazy Runaway to a world that we design Every night I lie  in bed The brightest colors fill my head A million dreams are keeping me awake I think of what the world could be A vision of the one I see A million dreams is all it's gonna take A million dreams for the world we're gonna make However big, however small Let me be part of it all Share your dreams with me You may be right, you may be wrong But say that you'll bring me along To the world you see To the world I close my eyes to see I close my eyes to see Every night I lie in bed The brightest colors fill my head A million dreams are keeping me awake A million dreams, a million dreams I think of what the world could be A vision of the one I see A million dreams is all it's gonna take A million dreams for the world we're gonna make For the world we're gonna make

- The Greatest Showman <3

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Another Life Journey

Oh yes, I know I am a very toxic person. It took me quite a while to reveal my poisons within me and accept them fully. I am now busy with flushing them out from my body, soul, heart and mind.

I do not know how that has happened to me I ended up being poisoned and turned into a toxic disgusting person?!

So glad to start the journey of detoxification <3

#mydreamjourney

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Мой спутник <3

Чувствую насколько сложно мне предстоит найти своего спутника жизни. Ему придется столкнуться с моей детской наивностью, жить в реальности со мной с моими нереальными мечтами и создавать жизнь по самым нелепым сценариям. 

Уииии. И найду ли я его?..

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Self-love is powerful. I need this power. I desperately need this revolution within me.

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i want us

"Let's just say in some alternate universe, there's a couple just like us, okay? Only she's healthy and he's perfect. And their world is about how much they're going to spend on vacation or who's in a bad mood that day, or whether they feel guilty about having a cleaning lady. I don't want to be those people. I want us. You. This."

Love and Other Drugs 

[itsmeerim-blog]

Love. Self Love.

I watched a movie last night that made me cry so hard that I could not even breathe. The movie is called “Love and Other Drugs”. When two people, a woman who is sick with an incurable disease and a man who is so insecure about himself, met each other and their hearts clicked for the rest of their lives. Their love has become the best cure for their both illnesses. Love always wins, right? 

I have been sick for my entire life. And now I need that drug called - love desperately. Not the one which comes from another person, but within. I want to heal my life and for that I should immediately start loving myself, but HOW? 

[itsmeerim-blog]

Maggie: I'm gonna need you more than you need me.

Jamie: That's okay.

Maggie: [crying] No it's not! It isn't *fair*! I have places to go!

Jamie: You'll go there. I just may have to carry you.

Maggie: ...I can't ask you to do that.

Jamie: You didn't.

“Love and Other Drugs” <3 

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My Real Life

It took me a month to get back and accept my real life after my dream life in NYC... The reverse adaptation was one of the toughest journeys I had to take on. I hope I am now much stronger :) 

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I suffer a lot when I write. 

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Fu*k this adult life.

Me adultlife

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The Trap

Every time I fall into the same trap over and over again. This trap is me. My own weaknesses I’m not capable to overcome. I immediately become miserable and helpless. I hate this feeling: when you can’t do anything but suffer. I want my brain to be stronger than my fu**ing heart. I can’t rely on my heart. It has severely betrayed me in the past. It was painful. And now I’m falling into that trap again. Save me... 

[itsmeerim-blog]

Sometimes my heart turns into a trash can. I am too lazy and too squeamish to clean it up. 

this is my heart <3 

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Get Drunk One Day

I got drunk last night for the first time in my life. It felt okay. The only thing I liked out of this experience was a feeling of liberation of my inner voice. I was speaking through the language of my soul not my brain. I think I said too much to my American roommate and my friend who I got drunk with. I hope they had fun seeing me spiritually naked. 

I am not sure if I repeat this exercise again. It was powerful... 

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I will get married to either a king or nobody. That’s it. 

I will be fine being a lonely queen. 

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Mitch: You wanna fight me, man to man?

Slim: Woman, Mitch.

“Enough” 2002 

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I want to see things beyond what my eyes can capture. I want to feel things beyond what my heart can see. I want to sense people and understand them beyond what they say to me. I want to be more than just a human being. 

I want to be more... 

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- You should not be soo honest.  Me: ... - What is your major? Me: Political Science.  - If you know the truth and you have to lie one day keep silence. Just keep silence, OK? Me: OK. 

Does naivety have limits? 

NYC, 92Y, a dialogue with the Residence Liaison Officer.  #lifelessons