itsjoehart-blog1

[itsjoehart-blog1]

f2f | joederick

RODERICK: The oomph of emotion was almost enough to bowl him over; tears sprung to his eyes and he let out a shaky laugh, not daring to release Joe's hands as he tugged him inside. "/You/ were worried about /me/?" Roderick repeated disbelievingly. "I'm--I--somehow I'm not even surprised." Roderick shook his head slowly and sat down on his bed, keeping Joe with him. God, Joe felt so /happy/, and Roderick was sure that his own happiness and relief were mingling with Joe's - he couldn't have controlled it if he'd wanted to, and at the moment he /didn't/ want to; anything he could do to keep Joe feeling like that, he'd do it. "I'm--I'm okay. It's been weird. Everybody's been...tense and scared," Roderick said. "Really worried about you, and the others." Roderick paused, a slight frown creasing his brow. "Did...what about the others?" Roderick asked. "Were they...are they back, too?"

JOE: Stumbling to follow his friend, he took in familiar surroundings. They'd had many-a-study session within Roderick's room, namely because Joe knew his friend didn't really enjoy being out in public with all of the spare emotions around, but Joe loved getting to spend time with Roderick all to himself. It made him feel special. Someone who was so picky with others...well, chose /him./ Sadly, Roderick's question sobered him a little. "Not with me," he admitted, positioning himself close. Probably too close, considering the amount of times that he'd been told to 'cut it with the PDA' around campus, but it felt like AGES since Joe had seen him. He smiled shyly, a sad frown threatening to tug at the corners, "I didn't know who all went missing. I...I don't remember anything, Rod." The confession was quiet, but Joe knew that Roderick could feel his worry, remorse, and the misplaced guilt he'd carried around with him since he woke up alone. "I should have looked harder," Joe swallowed, "-- when I woke up. I should have tried harder to find others. But I wasn't sure I'd ever make it out of there."

[itsjoehart-blog1]

waldronblaine:

So I was tuning up my guitar today, since I haven’t really had that much of a chance to really do that lately, and I feel super proud of myself because I learned the chords to Sunday Morning. And it was fun until one of the strings popped off and I think it woke up the little guy. But other than that, how is it already March?

I hope you don’t actually mean what I think you mean by ‘little guy’...

That’s awesome though that you’re learning new chords! Know any songs that could use a ukulele back-up? It’s been a little while since I was gone for so long, but it’s kind of like riding a bike, right? I’m pretty sure I could still play Vance Joy’s ‘Riptide’ in my sleep.

[itsjoehart-blog1]

f2f | joederick

RODERICK: Roderick had been trying to keep busy, as if the mere act of focusing on his homework could distract from the embarrassment of his Valentine's week. As such, he hadn't seen anyone - which wasn't a big deal, except for the fact that Joe was back, and Roderick's isolation had kept him from his best friend. Still, when Roderick felt emotion - not just emotion, but Emotion with a capital E, he looked up from his reading and had the door open by the time Joe was on the other side of it. He caught Joe out of surprise, a laugh escaping him. "Joe," Roderick answered, lamely, because between Joe's feelings and his own it was all he could get out. He hugged him tightly, a frown creasing his brow. "I--" Roderick cleared his throat, swallowed, and set his friend back down, though he kept his hands on him; not only so he could steady him, but so he could get all the better read on his emotions. "I didn't think I'd ever..." Roderick trailed off and shook his head. "I knew you were okay. You /are/ okay, right?" He certainly seemed okay, more or less - the shorter hair aside, he looked and felt like the boy Roderick had gotten to know in the fall, but Roderick more than anyone knew that looks could be deceiving.

JOE: With a surprised laugh, Joe nodded, running a hand through his new hair, then grabbing Roderick’s hands with both of his own, surging happiness through their connection. “Yeah! Yeah. I’m okay. I’m here, even if I’m a few dreads lighter,” he joked as he shook his head like a dog. “I’m finally allowed back to school. I’ve been with my mom the last week, but... I’m here now,” Joe confessed quietly, eyes beginning to brim with tears. Although he was sure it was overwhelming to poor Roderick that he was overcome with emotion (mostly relief), Joe couldn’t help but be grateful to see his best friend again. “Are you okay?” He gave Roderick’s hands a squeeze. “I was so worried about you.”

[itsjoehart-blog1]

f2f // joebastian

Sebastian: "Good. I'll treat you to as much as you like." Sebastian relaxed as Joe rested his head on his shoulder, humming softly as he felt the touch on his wings. It was unusual that he didn't hate Joe doing that, considering how against it he was usually. But his touch was always so delicate and gentle... and he loved that. And it was nice to allow himself to be touched in ways he tended to avoid. "I'm glad you're home as well, obviously. And if you want to take a million showers, mine is both bigger and better than any other shower on the entire fucking campus. It's custom," he smiled proudly. But as Joe continued, his eyebrows scrunched. "What do you mean, you hope? Didn't they come back with you?"

Joe: Shaking his head, Joe continued to lightly preen against Sebastian’s feathers. The thought of another shower in the morning made Joe want to crawl inside Sebastian’s bed and just get on it. But the guilt seeping into his stomach made him do otherwise. “Not with me, at least. I was alone when I woke up, or... at least I think I was. Everything is so hazy, Seb,” he admitted softly. “I’m starting to feel tired. Would it be alright if we went to sleep soon?” Joe leaned backwards, eyes closed but he still trusted Sebastian to hold his weight for him and keep him upright. “Thanks again for letting me stay. I didn’t want to be alone.”

[itsjoehart-blog1]

f2f // joebastian

Sebastian: He very much refrained from popping Joe's thumb into his mouth as he touched his lip. Shaking his head, he said, "this last month felt like years. I'll give you all the time you need." He leaned for the kiss, but stopped abruptly as Joe winced. Quickly, Sebastian sat up straighter, hands moving to Joe's head. "I'm sure they'll go away," he reassured him softly. "Well I can pick up and make whatever the fuck you want. Just think on it. God knows you haven't been eating, so whatever sounds good can be considered yours, okay?" Sebastian ran a hand through Joe's hair, huffing softly. This whole thing still seemed so bizarre. It was hard to believe Joe was truly home. "How else have you been feeling?"

Joe: Sebastian repeated the nurse’s words, but all Joe could hear was the offer for more of the boy’s delicious food. “I would love to be treated to some more of your delicious food,” he reassured. How was he feeling? No one had really asked that yet. Of course Sebastian would bring him to more vulnerability than anyone else had. He’d been doing it all evening. With a small smile, Joe assured the other boy with soft words, “I am alright. I’m glad to be home. Here. With you. And also showered,” he chuckled, leaning forward to lay his head on Sebastian’s shoulder, fingers spreading across the sweet, feathery softness of Sebastian’s wings. “I hope the others are okay,” Joe confessed quietly, barely audible to the room.

[itsjoehart-blog1]

[itsjoehart-blog1]

[itsjoehart-blog1]

f2f // joebastian

Sebastian: Uncertainy rounded on him, feathers bristling uncomfortable. “Well, that’s definitely a question,” he said softly. Part of him was tempted to respond with a simple ‘whatever you want,’ but he hesitated. Choosing his words more carefully, Sebastian began to explain. “For me personally, the least important part of a relationship is the word you stick to it. And I don’t have any hang ups, here, religiously or otherwise. So I think we should take this at whatever pace your comfortable with.” Given their history, Sebastian also thought it would make sense for them to do this for a while before titles. “Because this has the potential to be your first relationship, I think you should think on it before you make any decision. Talk to your mom. Pray on it, or whatever you do. Make sure Jesus won’t hate you for wanting to date a boy.”

Joe: Nodding, Joe ran a rough thumb against Sebastian’s lower lip, a hesitant smile gracing his cheeks. “Thank you — for thinking about everything. For being patient with me. I know this isn’t what you’re used to.” Leaning in for another kiss, Joe was struck by a sharp pain in his head. His body threatened to curl in on himself, but Joe forced himself to relax once more. “I’ve been getting these awful headaches since I woke up,” Joe sighed as he rubbed at his hairline, “The nurse said it’s probably lack of nutrients and they’ll go away after I get back on my regular diet,” he explained away.

[itsjoehart-blog1]

f2f // joebastian

Sebastian: He blinked a few times, clearly confused. He'd made an assumption, nearly sure that it had been a religiously-based decision, but he'd been incredibly wrong. "Hey," Sebastian said firmly, pulling Joe's hands gently away from his face. "You don't need to be embarrassed about what you feel or want. Like I said, I'm not here to push you. Physically or otherwise." He truly pondered the question, biting his lip. Truthfully, Sebastian had never counted the number of people he'd kissed (or fucked, for that matter) but this was the first time he felt ashamed of admitting it. "Plenty. A lot. I don't have a number for you. But quality over quantity, you know?" Leaning up, he kissed Joe softly before saying, "I still think you're a hippie," with a grin.

Joe: He couldn’t help the shudder that ran through him from all of the affection he was receiving from the other boy. This a Sebastian was very different from the one he knew not-so-long ago. “Uhm,” Joe started, curiosity lining his face, “What is this?” He pointed between them, gesturing to their...relationship? Sebastian had told him before that he didn’t do commitment, relationships weren’t really his thing. But he said that he understood the seriousness of kissing Joe, so what did it all mean? Was Sam still a factor? Would Sebastian be seeing someone else at the same time as Joe in the future? Were they even seeing each other right now? Many questions swirled through his thoughts, and he didn’t want to overwhelm the other boy, so he just voiced the one and hoped for the best answer.

[itsjoehart-blog1]

f2f // joebastian

Sebastian: He smirked. "I want it to be clear that I am in this regardless of the sex content, and I'm never going to pressure you about that, but..." Chuckling, Sebastian said, "If he's going to love you no matter what, the sex wouldn't matter, babe." He reached for Joe's hand, grabbing it and pulling him backward toward the couch and the flopping down. It took him a moment to rearrange his wings, sitting himself sideways and letting them fall over the arm of the couch and onto the floor. He then patted his lap, reaching for Joe's hand once more to pull him in. "I'm asking because you're gorgeous and... you." Intoxicating? Alluring? "Fascinating. And kind. A number of other things. It seems to me that plenty of people should have kissed the hell out of you by now."

Joe: Shaking his head, Joe easily took a seat in Sebastian’s lap, his nerves getting the better of him as he tried to explain his feelings. “The sex thing isn’t even necessarily a religious thing, you know?” He swallowed, trying to word things the right way so that Sebastian could really understand how big of a deal it was to him. “Sex is the truest form of intimacy. I want to...I don’t know. As silly as it probably sounds to you, I want to share that part of me with the person I plan on spending the rest of my life with. That’s all.” Feeling shy, Joe hid his face within his palms, still enjoying the fact that this would be yet another first for him; sitting in another boy’s lap. “How many people have you kissed?” Joe asked quietly. He knew the answer was more than just himself — that was obvious, even if the only other person had been Sam. But Joe counted on the fact that Sebastian was more likely to be much more experienced than Joe in all aspects of a relationship, considering Joe himself had never had one. “Like I said, it wasn’t something I was ever really interested in pursuing. There were a few girls in church that I contemplated it, but it was kind of viewed as improper since the community was so small where I lived.” Squeezing Seb’s hand, Joe smiled just for the other boy. “Thank you. For the compliment, I mean. You’re gorgeous too. Those words are much more positive than unwashed hippy,” he jabbed playfully.

[itsjoehart-blog1]

f2f // joebastian

Sebastian: Huffing softly, Sebastian said, "No. It apparently wasn't working." He was still bitter, still hung up on the things Sam said. But he didn't need to unload that right now. Sebastian's stomach jumped when Joe explained that he'd never been kissed. Almost instantly, guilted seeped in through his cracks. He very much tended to avoid being people's first anythings. It was risky business, honestly, and that made him nervous. His nerves compounded as Joe explained that he was also the first man that Joe'd ever been attracted to. Swallowing thickly, he said, "God seems to have a lot of opinions on a lot of things. How do you know which ones to adhere to, then?" But another question, a far more potent one, was nagging at the back of his mind. "How have you never been kissed?"

Joe: “I know that my God loves all of his children. Anything that goes against that ideal, I have no issue not following.” He nodded, laughing softly, the crows feet in the corners of his eyes crinkling with the movement. “I haven’t kissed anyone because... I don’t know, really. Most people don’t want to get involved with someone they can’t...jump into bed with, I guess.” He tried not to sound bitter, but really, there had been many snubbed opportunities in his life with girls from outside of his church, but the no-sex-until-marriage ideal tended to turn people off. “And relationships were never my top priority.” He cocked his head. “Why do you ask?”

[itsjoehart-blog1]

f2f // joebastian

Sebastian: Hesitantly, he reached out to brush a fingertip over over the cross that rested against Joe's chest. "It means that..." He paused, taking a moment to look into Joe's eyes. He didn't let the look linger for fear of getting lost, but he had to appreciate the boy for just a moment. "Well, for example, I'd been casually seeing Sam for the last few months. But once I realized how I felt about you, it didn't affect the way I felt about him. It's sort of a sense of love for people coexisting inside of you." He hated how hippie-dippy it sounded, but it was the only way he knew how to explain it. As Joe touched him, his breath hitched. Everywhere his touch landed left a trail of gentle, burning fire. "As honest as you're interested in being he said, capturing one of Joe's hands with his own and raising it to hips lips, pressing a gentle kiss to each fingertip. "But I don't want you to be uncomfortable. So just... whatever you're willing to discuss. If anything."

Joe: “Oh. Yeah, that kind of makes sense— wait what? You’ve been seeing SAM?” He blinked, honestly surprised. How many months had the two been together and Joe had been unknowing? A dark feeling settled low in his stomach, and Joe did his best to not let it show on his face. “Are you not seeing each other anymore?” Swallowing thickly, Joe decided to go for full honesty. After all, Sebastian had been incredibly honest with him. “Well... to be perfectly clear with you,” he shuddered at the gentle kisses to his skin, so unlike the Sebastian he had come to know. This Sebastian was going to fly his mom out to him, kissed him sweetly, and genuinely wanted to know him. “I have never been in a relationship before,” Joe started, voice somewhat shaky, “In fact, that was my first kiss. I have always been physically attracted and romantically attracted to women,” he started awkwardly, shrugging, “but...I am both to you, while I have never been attracted to another boy before. So I’m just as clueless as you, going into this.” Joe bit his lip. “My faith has always been about love, and while some would probably frown upon two men being together... gender doesn’t matter. God loves all of his children and who they choose to love.”

[itsjoehart-blog1]

f2f // joebastian

Sebastian: He breathed out heavily through his teeth as he made the mistake of turning back around. Naturally, it was just as Joe took his shirt off. He certainly didn't look the healthiest, but he was still Joe, and he was still fucking breathtaking. He kept his eyes carefully trained upward for fear of lingering too long on any part of Joe where they shouldn't. Clearing his throat, Sebastian said, "Mostly gay. Very rarely attracted to women, if ever. And polyamorous. I know you weren't asking as far as the romantic aspect, but that's important as well." Finally focusing on Joe's face, Sebastian's fingertips burned with the desire to reach for him, to trace over his soft skin... "And you? What's your deal? Because I sure as hell didn't think it was this," he chuckled.

Joe: Humming, Joe listened intently, doing his best to understand Sebastian’s words, “What does polyamorous mean? I mean — I know what it means, but I meant in regards to your...relationships, I guess.” Smiling shyly, Joe met Sebastian’s thoughts with his on actions, fingers stretching out to meet Sebastian’s pale chest, stroking over his collarbone. “Well, I guess it depends on how honest you want me to be.” Anticipation or the conversation made his anxiety flare; this was unknown territory for Joe too. He’d never had the opportunity to discuss this attraction to Sebastian that he’d never felt to another boy before.

[itsjoehart-blog1]

f2f // joebastian

Sebastian: He came back with the pants, handing them off. When Joe stripped down in front of him, he averted his eyes with a huff, flushing. "Jesus christ," he murmured, whipping around to turn his back. "I'm obviously not saying you haven't. I imagine you've seen your own--" Joe at least got turned on, didn't he? "But it's different if it's, uh... someone else's." So different. He was going to have to buy a library's worth of books on self control because it was one thing to make the choice not to sleep with Joe. It was another thing entirely if Joe was /naked/ in front of him and he had to keep making the choice.

Joe: “Well, I wouldn’t know,” he joked despite being completely serious. His own reaction was somewhat visible through the pajama pants, in the same room with someone who is attracted to him. “I don’t know if this is like, too personal of a question or not but...what’s your sexuality? I’ve never really asked, not that it matters!” He stammered quickly, pulling the scrubs top off and setting it on the table again. “I was just curious, is all.”

[itsjoehart-blog1]

f2f // joebastian

Sebastian: He nodded, saying, "Well, it's different, that's for sure. But in a good way, I promise." With an utter lack of self control, Sebastian leaned in, giving Joe another soft kiss. But as he spoke again, Sebastian's mouth fell open slowly. "I--" he faltered, swallowing thickly. He wasn't a fucking saint, after all. And he had no misconceptions around sleeping with Joe, and he never had any intention of pushing on the subject, but having him naked was going to be nearly painful. "I don't have a /problem/ with it," he finally managed. "But I'm not going to have control over the way my, uh..." hesitantly, he laughed softly. "Over the way my body responds." Kissing Joe's cheek, he stood up and said, "finish eating. I'll go find you some temporary clothes."

Joe: “Thank you, Seb!” Joe called after Sebastian, finishing up his food and pushing the plate aside to set into the sink. The older boy brought him the pants and Joe snatched them with a bow. “You don’t have to worry about your reaction, Sebastian,” he laughed, a small snort escaping before he could hold it back. “I /have/ seen an erection before. I’m seventeen.” Without preamble, Joe immediately slipped the scrubs down his legs and slipped on the pants, no embarrassment in sight.

[itsjoehart-blog1]

f2f // joebastian

Sebastian: "Thank you," he replied softly, ducking his head. A hundred people had told him that before, but it felt far more poignant now. But when Joe spoke again, Sebastian shook his head. "Don't be stupid," he said, words as affectionate and gentle as his smile. "Nothing's ever been more okay." And it was incredibly true. Kissing Joe-- well, truthfully? He had no idea it was a first kiss. It was good. Perfect, even. "The new hair... I didn't know if I'd like it, but it's grown on me already. You look amazing. We just have to get some food in you, you know?" He kissed the tip of Joe's nose before he pulled back, allowing him to regain a bit of his personal space. "Do you want something else to wear? I don't have shirts, obviously, but some pajama pants or something? So you're not stuck in that hospital-wear?"

Joe: With an awkward laugh, Joe ran a hand through his newly shortened hair. “I’m glad you like it. I wasn’t sure what I thought of it, honestly. I haven’t even seen it yet. The nurse said there was no other way to get the dreads out though,” with a shrug, Joe picked at his threads again. While he wanted to say yes and just take the pajamas from Sebastian, because really, a small part of him wanted to be seen wearing the other boy’s clothes, there was another part that fought to not be in any garnment at all, since that had been his reality for a while now in the woods. “Would you be uncomfortable if I wore them for now but didn’t sleep in the pants? It’s been a while since I got to sleep comfortably, and it would definitely help.” The heat stayed high on his cheeks, burning where Sebastian’s lips had touched throughout the evening. “If not, that’s totally okay, I just... figured I would ask.” Shrugging again, Joe tried to look nonchalant, but he was truly worried about making Sebastian uncomfortable with the request.

[itsjoehart-blog1]

f2f // joebastian

Sebastian: There was an emotion behind the way Joe said his name that he wasn't sure he quite understood, but he found himself wanting to reassure him. "I'm right here," Sebastian whispered softly between kisses. He would be for as long as Joe needed him. And wanted him. And would allow him to be. Joe's lips felt truthfully perfect against his own in a way he couldn't have imagined they would have, sending shivers through his extremities. But his hands remained steady. He was more confident, more sure about this he had been about anything in so long. Joe was home. He was home and close and kissing him oh-so-softly. There was truly nothing Sebastian could've been more grateful for. He kissed Joe again easily, the need for air lost somewhere in translation between their lips. A smile toyed at the corners of his mouth as happiness rolled through him in waves and a low pleasure burned in the pit of his stomach. He ignored the pleasure effortlessly, but let the happiness consume him.

Joe: With regret, Joe finally pulled back, eyes open, searching Sebastian’s face for the same emotions he was feeling. Sebastian’s smile seemed to surprise him, his cheeks heating up at the honest emotion. He wasn’t sure he’d ever seen Sebastian truly smile before. “You are so beautiful,” he said truthfully, the words hanging between them like fruit ripe for picking. “Not that you didn’t alresdy know that,” Joe’s laugh came easily, and he couldn’t have asked for a sweeter moment. “Is this really okay?” The question probably wasn’t necessary for someone like Sebastian who had probably kissed someone a million times, but... Joe couldn’t help but be apprehensive. What if he was bad at kissing and Sebastian never wanted to kiss him again?