itselbaka

[itselbaka]

Love is hard - Chapter twelve

Pairing: Madison Joseph x reader (friends), Josh Dun x reader (friends, lovers?), Tyler Joseph x reader (friends), Jenna Joseph x reader (friends), other Joseph and Dun family members

Plot: You take a leap year abroad, where you meet Madison Joseph. You become best friends and move in with her family. You meet her brother Tyler and his best friend Josh, who you have a crush on. Will Josh and you become more than friends?

This chapter: Ashley comforts you and you talk with Maddie.

Warnings: None

Word count: about 2100

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11

A/n: Once again, thanks for all the support! Love you all

You politely chitchatted with Chris, Kelly and Madison in the car and once you were back home. You didn’t want to talk about what you’ve heard, especially with them. After a cup of coffee, you went upstairs, ready for another sleepless night, overthinking everything that happened. “So, did you have fun?” Maddie asked you as she also got ready for bed. “Sure, they are very nice people and the dinner was lovely.” You replied. You had already decided you weren’t telling Maddie anything. First of all, you didn’t want to talk about ‘Josh-problems’ with her and second, you were kind of annoyed by her attitude lately, though you couldn’t put your finger on what exactly rubbed you the wrong way. “I had a great night as well. Laura and Bill have always been so nice to me and I’m so close to them; I love hanging out with them.” Maddie said. “Anyway, I’m meeting up with Annie tomorrow, so I’ll probably be home late. Goodnight.” She turned off her light and rolled over in bed. You were wide awake, staring at the ceiling in the dark. Once again, your mind started racing. Question after question came up; Why don’t Bill and Laura like me? Why didn’t Josh invite me for the dinner? What is the deal with Maddie? And why did I panic? You texted Ashley, asking if she wanted to meet up tomorrow. You figured she was the best option to talk to, hoping she could shine some light on the issues you were having.

The alarm woke you up at noon, having only slept for a few hours. You dragged yourself to the bathroom and took a quick shower. You dressed in your usual jeans and sweater and ran downstairs to get some coffee before you had to leave. “Where are you off to?” Kelly asked when you ran into the kitchen. “I’m meeting Ashley in half an hour at the mall, so I’m in a bit of a hurry.” You answered, pouring yourself a cup and taking a moment to sit down and drink the hot beverage. “Okay. Are you coming home for dinner?” You nodded. “It’ll be just us two then. Chris has a meeting and Maddie’s staying at her friend’s house.” Kelly replied. “Okay, that’s fine. I’ll be home around 6 then.” You responded, downing the last sips and grabbing your stuff.

You arrived five minutes early at the diner and picked a seat in a quiet corner, waiting for Ash. She arrived a couple of minutes later, hugged you and sat down. “How are you? It’s been a while since we met up, just the two of us I mean.” Ashley said as she stared at the menu. “I’m starving!” You chuckled. “Me too, I haven’t eaten breakfast. I’m fine, how are you?” You had thought about your tactics for today. Rather than asking her about her parents and Josh directly, you’d try to discreetly find out what you wanted to know. “I’m okay. I’m actually really glad you wanted to meet up today, gets me out of the house for a bit.” Ash replied, waving over the waiter. “Are your parents already driving you crazy?” You asked laughing after you both ordered. “Yes. I mean, don’t get me wrong; they’re my parents and I love them, but sometimes… I guess we just don’t see eye to eye about a lot of things.” You nodded. “Well, I don’t really know them, since I only met them yesterday, so I can’t really say much. But I do understand it can be difficult dealing with parents.” You replied empathetically. “If things between you and Josh work out, you might see more of them than you’d want to.” Ashley cackled. “Don’t worry, they’re not that bad. It takes them some time to warm up to new people, but I’m sure once they get to know you better, they’ll love you.” She quickly added when she saw your face turn a little sad. “I hope so. I don’t think I left a very good impression yesterday.” You admitted. Ashley only nodded in response, confirming once more you messed up the first meeting. “Anyway, how are things going between Josh and you?” Ashley asked you after the waiter brought you your food. “Pretty good, I think. We’ve only had two official dates, but they were incredible and for my part, I like him more and more every time I see him.” You happily responded. “Great! I’m happy to hear that. Be honest though, did you freak out when he asked you to meet his parents?” Ash inquired. “Uhm… he… he didn’t ask me. Tyler invited me, actually.” You tried to smile and hide your shame. “What? O my God, he must’ve chickened out!” Ashley laughed hysterically at the thought. “He told me he asked you, that’s why I didn’t bother texting you about it.” She added when she was done laughing and caught her breath. “I can’t believe he got Ty to do it for him.”

Ashley turned out to be just what you needed that day. She was incredibly funny, but could be very serious if required. When you finished eating you happily accepted her invitation for a drink back at her place. During the walk there she talked about her parents, assuring you over and over that they just needed some time to get to know you and everything would work out. So when you followed the path through the front garden of her house, you felt completely convinced things were going to be okay. Entering the house, you both heard chatter and laughter coming from the living room. Figuring it must be Josh, Laura and Bill, you took a deep breath, put the biggest smile possible on your face and followed Ashley towards the voices. “Hi honey! How was lunch?” Laura asked as soon as she spotted Ashley, before you entered the room. “O. Hello Y/n.” She added when you came in the room. You couldn’t help but think she sounded disappointed to see you. “I invited Y/n over for an after-lunch drink.” Ashley said, smiling at you sweetly. “Okay. Well, you are welcome, of course. But we have made dinner arrangements and since we did not think Ashley, or you, would join us…” Laura started. “That’s okay. I promised Kelly I’d be home for dinner.” You cut off Laura, unintentionally rude. Laura pursed her lips. “I can ask her if you can come for dinner, if you want to?” You asked Ashley. “Sure, that’ll be great.” She answered. You made your way into the room as Laura went to the kitchen to get you both a drink. You greeted Bill, shaking his hand, and Josh, hugging him. You thought you saw Bill looking at you hugging Josh disapprovingly. “So, where are you going for dinner?” You tried to start a conversation with Bill. “Nero. It’s a lovely Italian restaurant.” He replied. “It’s a beautiful restaurant. I’m looking forward to a nice dinner with lovely company.” Laura added as she came back in the room. You smiled and nodded at her. Ashley talked with her parents about her day as you sat quietly next to Josh. You could tell he felt as uncomfortable as you did, not able to show his true self in front of his parents. “We should get going.” Ashley said to you after a while. You immediately got up, glad you could leave. You’d tried involving yourself in the conversation, but you could feel the suppressed hostility coming from Bill and Laura. Apparently, it would take a lot more time and patience to get them to like you. Just as you were about to leave the doorbell rang. Laura opened it and led someone to the living room. “I’m delighted you are joining us for dinner tonight.” You heard Laura say to the guest. “It’s always a pleasure to spent time with you.” The guest answered. You knew who it was before she entered the room, having recognized her voice.  

“I can’t believe this. Do you think she did this on purpose? To mess with me or something? What is she trying to achieve here?” You were in shock, walking slowly to your house with Ash by your side. “I don’t know. Maddie has always been close with my parents. They like her a lot. But I honestly don’t know if she’s having dinner with them, and Josh, just to annoy you. Maybe my parents invited her and she didn’t think anything about it. An honest mistake.” Ashley answered trying to soothe your mind. “Talk to her, tonight. The answer may surprise you.” She added. You thought about Ashley’s words for a moment. Maybe she’s right. It could mean nothing. I should talk to Maddie about it. When you arrived home Kelly was already cooking and you sat down in the kitchen to keep her company. “It’s so nice you’re here, Ashley. How are you?” Kelly asked. After some polite chitchat Kelly served dinner. “So Maddie is having dinner with Josh and his parents.” You said after a while, trying to see Kelly’s reaction. “How nice. She’s always liked the Dun’s.” Kelly replied, not showing much emotion in her face. “Is there anything going on between Josh and Maddie?” She informed. “No.” You sternly said. “Oh, well… I always thought it would just be a matter of time. Maybe they’ll hit it off tonight!” Kelly said happily, clearing the table. You weren’t sure how to respond. You could tell by Kelly’s tone of voice that she hoped Josh and Maddie would end up together. You drank coffee in silence as Ashley tried to keep the conversation, about other subjects, going. After a while, Ashley decided to go home and you hugged her goodbye at the door. “Just talk to Maddie tonight, okay? And try not to worry too much. Josh really likes you.” She said as she held you extra tight. You returned to the kitchen and helped Kelly clean up the table. “So, do you really think something might happen between Maddie and Josh?” You asked Kelly trying to sound innocent. “I don’t know. I know that Maddie likes Josh, and he probably likes her too I think. And most importantly, Bill and Laura like her.” Kelly answered. “Why is that important?” You replied. “Josh really values his parent’s opinion. Especially when it comes to girls. I think it has to do with him looking up to Tyler and Jenna’s relationship, and our relationship with her. He wants that one great love and deep down, I think it’s very important for him that his girl and his parents bond.” Kelly answered honestly.

You had spent hours preparing your questions and speech mentally. You even thought about different scenarios, based on the answers Maddie might give, and how you’d react to it. So when Maddie arrived home at 11, you were ready. You sat up straight in bed and waited for her. “Hey. Did I wake you up?” Maddie asked as she entered the room. “No. I was waiting for you, actually.” You answered, feeling yourself getting nervous now that she was here. “Okay. Any particular reason?” She replied not looking at you. “Well… to be honest, I wanted to ask you something.” You started hoping you would be courageous enough to ask her what you wanted to know. “O. I kinda think I already know what you want to ask. But go ahead.” Maddie answered, sitting down on her bed and staring at you. “I feel like… I wanted to know… I… are you still interested in Josh? I mean… like… are you trying to steal him from me or something?” You said, holding your breath as you awaited her response. “What? No! of course not! Why would you think that? I’m very happy for you, that things seem to work out and everything.” She replied. “Seriously, Y/n, you don’t have to worry about that. I do like Josh, but just as a friend. And I am pretty close to his parents, but that has nothing to do with anything. I fully support you and him.” Maddie added. You nodded and smiled at her. “Okay. I’m sorry, I needed to know.” Maddie smiled back at you. “Sure, no problem. Now get some sleep.” She said, crawling in bed and turning off the light. That went well. At least now I know for sure she isn’t interested in him anymore, so no need to worry about that. Right?

[itselbaka]

Hey precious, I hope the sleeping pills helped you a bit and that you feel better by now 😊 I hope I don't sound rude, but I was wondering when the next chapter of "Love is hard" will be up, because I'm so in love with it and would love to know how it'll go on!

They do help, I’ve slept great the past few nights. I feel a little better. Not rude at all, I’m happy you love the story! I’ll have the next chapter up tomorrow!

[itselbaka]

Just a personal message. I went to the psychiatrist today. I was insanely nervous and almost ran out of the waiting room, but I actually sat and waited like an adult 😝 I had a two hour talk which was mostly focused on getting an idea of my issues. The psychiatrist was really nice and tried her best to make me feel comfortable (of course I wasn't). It was probably the first time I honestly told everything to someone and part of me was afraid she'd eventually say I can't be fixed, but miraculously she was really confident that they could help me 🤔😆. So I have to come back in two weeks and I'll get my actual diagnosis and treatment plan, and I got some sleeping pills for now so I might actually have some good nights for a while! I thought I'd be less worried after the first visit, but of course my mind has already decided to stress out about the next time 😒 Anyway, first step is done and that does kinda feel good!! Love you all ❤️

[itselbaka]

Love is hard - Chapter eleven

Pairing: Madison Joseph x reader (friends), Josh Dun x reader (friends, lovers?), Tyler Joseph x reader (friends), Jenna Joseph x reader (friends), other Joseph and Dun family members

Plot: You take a leap year abroad, where you meet Madison Joseph. You become best friends and move in with her family. You meet her brother Tyler and his best friend Josh, who you have a crush on. Will Josh and you become more than friends?

This chapter: Chris and Kelly come back home and you meet Josh’s parents.

Warnings: Mentions of panic attacks

Word count: about 2600 (oops)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10

A/n: I hope you enjoy this chapter :D Love you all

“Back so soon? How was your date?” Maddie asked as soon as you walked inside. “It was great actually. We went ice skating and it was really fun and romantic.” You answered, eyes lighting up at the thought of the sweet kisses you shared with Josh. You sat down next to Maddie and started telling her about your date. She had her eyes fixated on the television and didn’t seem to really hear you, though. You remembered what Tyler had said to you about her needing some space and quickly stopped talking. “Anyway, your parents are coming home tomorrow so do you want to plan something? To welcome them back?” You swayed the conversation away. “I’m meeting up with Annie in the morning, but we can go for lunch somewhere if you want to? Just let me know where and I’ll meet you guys there.” Maddie replied. “Sure, sounds good.” You watched part of the movie along with Maddie, but you weren’t really interested and soon went off to sleep.

You had set your alarm early the next day. Though the house was pretty neat, you wanted to clean a little and get ready for when Chris and Kelly would arrive home. At 11, the house was completely cleaned and you got yourself ready as well, so you sat on the couch watching some television and waiting. You heard a car pull up on the driveway and walked to the door. “Hey Y/n. How are you?” Jenna said walking over to you. Tyler followed right behind her and they both hugged you. “We thought it might be nice to have lunch together, with my parents being back home and all.” Tyler said. “Maddie and I already planned that actually, but your very welcome to join us! They should be here any minute.” You replied, truly happy Tyler and Jenna were there. You all sat on the couch and chatted. “So, did you talk to Maddie? About… you know.” Tyler softly asked you when Jenna excused herself to go to the bathroom. “No. I think I’m just gonna let this rest for a while, it’ll figure itself out.” You replied. Tyler nodded while you heard another car approaching. “That must be them.” You said as you walked to the door. “Hey guys! Wow, quite the welcoming.” Kelly laughed as she spotted the three of you on the porch.

Chris and Kelly had put their stuff inside, freshened up and liked the idea of going out to lunch together, so you got in the car and drove to a small bistro they liked. You texted Maddie where you were going and she arrived shortly after you did. “Before I forget; Josh’s parents are in town, so he asked me to invite you all for dinner tonight.” Tyler announced midway through the meal. “Great, it would be nice to catch up with them!” Kelly replied happily, Chris nodded and smiled. You weren’t sure if Tyler meant that you were invited as well. It sounded like it, and frankly it would be a little weird if everyone would go except for you, but Josh could’ve invited you yesterday and didn’t. “I’m looking forward to it. It’ll be like old times, just our two families together. I was really excited when I got invited a couple of days ago.” Maddie said, smiling sweetly. You couldn’t help but feel personally attacked by her comment, but shook that thought away thinking she probably didn’t mean it that way. “Don’t be nervous about tonight. Only ‘the kids’ know you and Josh are dating and we won’t say anything. Just think of them as a friend’s parents. No pressure.” Jenna leaned over and said to you, misinterpreting your silence. “Thanks, Jen. I’ll be okay, don’t worry.” You reassured her, feeling an other worry coming up. Even if they don’t know we’re dating, I still have to give of a good impression. If they don’t like me and things do work out with Josh, it’ll be hard to change their minds. O God, what if they hate me? You felt your mind, once again, start to race. You tried to concentrate on the conversation and stop thinking about all the other stuff, but it only worked a little.

Once you were back home you immediately went upstairs to review your outfit options. You wanted to look like the perfect daughter-in-law to be; decent and classy, but with a hint of sexiness. The first three outfits were okay, but too overdressed for just a dinner with ‘the parents of friends’.  Just as you were assembling a fourth look, Maddie walked in the bedroom. “Whatcha doing?” She asked, looking up from her phone. “Just trying to figure out what to wear tonight. What are you wearing?” You replied, sounding calm. In fact, you were freaking yourself out more and more as time progressed, most likely putting more pressure on the night than necessary. “Just some jeans and a shirt, nothing special.” Maddie answered, grabbing some clothes from her closet and disappearing to the bathroom. Ok, don’t overdress, just jeans and a shirt you told yourself as you peered in your wardrobe. After a couple of hours, Kelly knocked at the bathroom door. “Ready? We’re leaving in five minutes.” She said. Feeling another rush of nervousness you checked your outfit, make-up and hair one last time. You had tried on seven outfits in total, but ultimately chose to wear your skinny light blue jeans, a dark green long-sleeved top, a bright yellow scarf and matching yellow converse shoes. You had put on light make-up and put your hair in a loose braid. You thought you looked neat and decent, but still casual, though you basically looked the same as always. You sprayed on a bit of perfume and rushed downstairs. Chris and Maddie were already half way to the car while Kelly waited for you at the door. You noticed she wore a long black dress and had her hair down in light curls and looked outside to check on the other’s outfits. Chris wore a navy blue suit and Maddie had a beautiful deep red flowy skirt on, with a black lace top. “I didn’t realize we were supposed to dress up.” You said to Kelly, almost choking on your words. “I thought Madison would tell you. It doesn’t matter, really. It’s just a long running private joke between us and the Dun’s. You look nice.” Kelly replied, locking the door and leading you to the car.

Your nerves were worsening the closer you got to the Dun’s house. Maddie didn’t speak with you in the car and you tried to ignore the feeling of betrayal, though you refused to believe she’d trick you on purpose. Maybe she forgot about the ‘joke’ and only realized after telling me what she’d wear you thought. When Chris parked the car in front of a light brown house, you suddenly felt nauseous. It was going to be the first time at Josh’s house; you weren’t sure of your relationship status with Josh; you’d meet his parents; you looked like the Joseph’s just picked you up from the street, compared to them. O God. You concentrated on your breathing as you followed the others to the door, attempting to avoid a total panic attack. Chris rang the bell and it only took seconds before the door opened. “Chris! Kelly! Madison! It’s so good to see you!” The woman enthusiastically said, hugging the three Joseph’s and welcoming them inside. “And you must be Y/n! Ashley told me about you. I’m Laura. Please, come in.” Laura said. She wore a long, light grey dress, obviously in on this ‘joke’ between the families. You followed the group into the dining room, seeing Tyler, Jenna, Jay, Ashley, Josh and a man, who must be Josh’s father, all dressed up in suits or dresses. You uncomfortable stood in the doorway not sure how to behave and what to do, focussing solely on calming yourself down. “Ah, you must be Y/n. Nice to meet you, I’m William, but you can call me Bill.” Bill came over to you, shaking your hand and smiling genuinely. “No dress, eh? I guess they haven’t told you about that yet.” He said chuckling. You greeted and hugged Ty, Jen, Jay and Ash and walked over to Josh. Neither of you dared to look the other in the eyes and you awkwardly hugged before quickly sitting down. Laura poured everyone a drink and served the first course, a tasty pumpkin soup. You sat between Maddie and Laura, Jay sat across from you. The parents talked among each other, Ashley and Jenna chatted sitting at the end of the table, Maddie was involved in a conversation with Josh and Tyler spoke with his brother, leaving you to eat your soup in silence. Feeling more of an outsider than ever, wedged between two people, you felt your heart beating faster and your body heating up. Only this time it wasn’t because you felt happy or in love, you knew it was because you were panicking. Your hands began to shake a little and your breathing became heavier. You looked around the table with distressed eyes, but nobody noticed you. You tried remembering the breathing techniques you once learned, but your mind didn’t seem to listen to you. You felt another rush of nausea coming up and you could feel the first drops of sweat form on your forehead. I have to get out of here you thought. You appeared calm, or so you thought, as you stood up as slowly as you could and excused yourself, mumbling something about the bathroom. Kelly nodded at you swiftly before returning to her conversation.

You opened several doors before locating the bathroom, locking the door and sitting on the floor, trying to control your breath. You held your hands under the cold water for a moment and wiped the sweat of your face, slowly but surely regaining your composure. You needed some fresh air but didn’t dare leave the house without asking or telling anyone. You thought about saying you felt sick so you could go home, but you really wanted to impress Josh’s parents tonight. So, after ten minutes, you managed to calm yourself down a little and went back to the dining room, determined to make a near perfect impression on Laura and Bill. “Are you okay honey? You look a little pale.” Laura asked you as she passed you in the doorway. “Yes, I’m fine. Just a little tired I think.” She nodded and took the plates to the kitchen, replacing them with plates of turkey and mashed potatoes. You sat down again, feeling queasy. Bill had switched places with Laura, sitting next to you. He started chatting with you, about his job and his kids and asking you about your plans for the future. You talked to him during the main course, feeling a little more at ease and secretly thankful he provided some distraction. “I hope you all had enough to eat and liked it.” Laura said when everyone was done eating. “Let’s go to the lounge for coffee.” Everyone stood up and made their way to the lounge and you followed closely behind. You sat in a big chair near the corner of the room and watched the others as they sat down and kept talking with each other. They, unconsciously, seemed to form two groups as they sat. The parents were joined by Maddie on the huge sofa across from you, while the boys, Ashley and Jenna sat down on the other big sofa near the entrance. You saw Maddie laughing loudly with Bill and Laura, who obviously liked her a lot. You wished you had chosen a different seat so you could be included in one of the groups. Suddenly unsure if anyone in the room even wanted you to be there, you didn’t risk trying to move seats and stayed on your own.

You weren’t sure if it was the warmth in the room, the fact that nobody talked to you, that you were still nervous or all of them together, but without warning you could feel the next panic attack coming. You needed fresh air and you needed it now. Rushing across the room you left towards the patio doors you saw on your way to the lounge. Thankfully they weren’t locked and you almost ran onto the lawn, quickly checking if you were visible from the lounge. You spotted a small bench to your right and sat down in the dark, still breathing heavily. “Are you okay?” You heard Josh’s voice next to you soon after you sat down. “Yes, sure. I think I’m getting the flu or something.” You tried to smile, not wanting to show Josh how you really felt. He sat down next to you, softly rubbing your back. You sat in silence for a while, Josh staring at you. “I remember when we first started playing big shows. There were so many people there, staring at us, at me. At first I was happy all those people came to see us. But then, I would get really nervous. I would be nauseous all day and some days, I didn’t even want to go on. I would lie awake night after night worrying and my mind played tricks on me. Tyler noticed, of course, and helped me a lot. I talked about it and worked on it and even though I still get nervous sometimes, I can manage it and find my calm spot.” Josh suddenly told you, his voice sounding soft and sweet. You nodded, feeling he understood what was going on. You slowly calmed down again while Josh talked to you about trivial things, to get your mind off whatever was going on. “Let’s get inside and have some coffee, okay?” He finally asked when you’d calmed down. You smiled and nodded, following him inside. You were sure everyone noticed you coming back in together, but thankfully no one said anything about your disappearance or entrance. You sat next to Josh on the big sofa and felt relieved as you chatted along with the group. Having a good time, at last, two hours passed by quickly and Chris and Kelly announced they were leaving soon. You hugged Jenna, Ashley, Jay and Tyler and gave an extra-long hug to Josh, whispering a quick but heartfelt thank you in his ear. You shook hands with Laura and Bill, thanking them for the lovely dinner. You were the last one to reach the car and as soon as you sat down, you realized you had forgotten your bag.

You ran back to the front door, reaching it just as Tyler, Jenna and Jay were about to leave. “I’ve left my bag.” You explained. Josh smiled. “I think my mom found it. She’s in the kitchen, go ask her.” You walked towards the kitchen, faintly hearing the voices of Laura and Bill. You reached the door, but before you could open it, you heard Laura mention your name inside. Curiosity getting the best of you, you stood as quiet as possible, trying to hear what they were saying. “I know, Bill. I’m just saying that I think she acted a little bit weird tonight. And the way she dressed!” You heard Laura say. “And she doesn’t seem to have any plans for the future.” Bill added. “Exactly. Well, let’s just hope Josh and Ashley don’t get too involved with her. She’s hardly a good example for anyone.” Laura continued. A small part of you hoped they weren’t talking about you, but when you knocked on the door and saw their faces as you entered, you knew it was you they were speaking about. So far for making a good impression.

[itselbaka]

So I was ready to post chapter 11, but for some reason either my internet, or Tumblr, or the universe decided it couldn't save my post and couldn't upload and then my whole computer went bezerk. 😞 I wanted to keep trying, but I have my first appointment with my psychiatrist in the morning so I need (to try to) sleep. Besides I'm always a nervous wreck and right now I'm freaking myself out and computer stress doesn't help me. Tomorrow I'll update on my first visit and post chapter 11! Btw, a quick question: what is my avatar (if that's what it's called) when you look at my posts/page? I mean, on my computer it's Josh Dun, on my IPad it's a pinkish candle and on my mobile it's just the standard Tumblr triangle thingy. What do you see?

[itselbaka]

I just wanted to let you know that I think your writing is really good and I absolutely love your writing! I always come onto your page and will read your stories, etc. and it just brings a smile to my face! So thank you for continuing writing it really brightens up my days when it's hard to find happiness in them. So thank you so much.

Thank you so much, sweetie! It really means the world to me to hear I can make your day a little better. I truly hope my story helps you a little and I really wish you (and everyone who reads this) happiness and peace with yourself.

[itselbaka]

Love is hard - Chapter ten

Pairing: Madison Joseph x reader (friends), Josh Dun x reader (friends, lovers?), Tyler Joseph x reader (friends), Jenna Joseph x reader (friends), other Joseph and Dun family members

Plot: You take a leap year abroad, where you meet Madison Joseph. You become best friends and move in with her family. You meet her brother Tyler and his best friend Josh, who you have a crush on. Will Josh and you become more than friends?

This chapter: You figure out what to do with the new information and go on a second date with Josh

Warnings: None

Word count: about 2100

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9

A/n: I want to thank everyone for their sweet and supportive messages! It really means a lot to me. I’m doing a bit better again :). It might not be the best one, but I hope you like this chapter! Love you all

How did I not see this coming? You thought to yourself. Your head started spinning a little, the thoughts rushing through it. No wonder she acted the way she did. Why didn’t she tell me? “Anyway, I should probably get going. I’m going out with some friends later and I have to get ready. I can drop you off at home if you want to?” Jay interrupted your thoughts, clearly unaware of the bomb he just dropped. “No, it’s okay, I’ll stay here for a while and walk back later. Thanks for everything, I had fun.” You replied trying to sound cheerful. Jay grabbed his stuff, hugged you and left the café. You slowly drank your coffee and stared outside. What do I do now? Should I confront Maddie about this? Or should I just enjoy the peace while it lasts?

You hadn’t moved in a while, still pondering on what to do with this new information. Being lost in your thoughts, you didn’t notice, or pay attention, to the people leaving and entering the café. “Can I sit with you or are you busy?” You looked up at the voice, a little startled.

“O, hey Ty! Sure, sit down. I was just… thinking, I guess.” You smiled genuinely as Tyler took the seat next to you. “Anything in particular on your mind?” He asked. Once again, you were unsure what to say. Why is everyone I know here either related or best friends with each other? “Did Jenna tell you anything about what happened when you were away last weekend?” You wanted to determine what he knew about the situation between Maddie and you first. “A little. She told me Maddie and you had a fight about something, but you made up again. Why? Did something happen?” Tyler asked, concern in his voice. “No, I’m okay, never mind.” You replied, deciding against saying anything. “You know you can talk to me about anything, right?” Tyler said, obviously not convinced by your words. “I won’t judge, even if it’s about Maddie.” He added, stimulating you to talk. “Well, the thing is… I was just talking to Jay and he told me…” You started, persuaded to share what was on your mind by Tyler’s words and his kind, caring and slightly worried eyes. Before you could finish your sentence, Josh appeared out of nowhere, handing a cup of coffee to Tyler. “Hey Y/n, how are you?” Josh said, hugging you briefly and sitting down across from you. “There was a guy with a huge order in front of me, but I finally made it!” He laughed. You laughed along, silently praying Tyler wouldn’t continue your previous conversation. “So, what brings you guys here?” You asked. “Oh, we were working on our new music and we desperately needed a break. What about you?” Josh answered. “I went to the cinema with Jay and had some coffee here after. He had to leave a while ago.” You answered, glancing over to Tyler to check if he planned on saying anything about your previous conversation. Tyler caught your glance and, thankfully, nodded and smiled at you slightly, signalling he understood you didn’t want to talk in front of Josh. Relieved, you chatted and laughed with both boys for some time and walked home together. Maddie wasn’t home yet which gave you a little longer to think about how to handle this.

Tyler and Josh had descended to the basement again and you were in the kitchen checking if there was enough food in the house to prepare a decent meal for once. Finding only eggs and stale bread, you left a note on the table, grabbed your stuff and walked to the corner store for supplies. It took you a while to find what you wanted and the line at the register was huge. When you arrived back home nearly an hour later, Josh emerged from the basement. “I gotta go home, I promised Ash we’d have dinner together. So, I guess I’ll see you Sunday then?” Josh said. “Yes, I’m looking forward to it.” You replied, feeling a little shy. You hadn’t been alone with Josh since your first date and you weren’t sure how to act. Josh slowly moved over to you, looking over his shoulder quickly to see if Tyler was still downstairs. “Me too.” Josh softly said, giving you a short but sweet kiss on your cheek. He smiled at you, put on his coat and left. You stayed standing in the middle of the room for a second allowing the butterflies to flutter.

You received a text from Maddie, telling you she’d have dinner at her friend’s house but that she’d be home around 8. After asking Tyler, who was still in the basement, if he wanted to stay for dinner (“I’d love to!”) you went to the kitchen to start preparing the meal. You sat on the counter across the oven, reading a magazine and occasionally checking the lasagne, when Tyler entered. “Wow, that smells great!” He exclaimed. “Thanks, it’ll need another ten minutes I think.” You replied. “How are the new songs coming along?” “Pretty well I think. It’s just first drafts right now, but it’s getting there.” Ty answered jumping on the counter across from you. “Feeling a little better?” He informed. You nodded. You had spent nearly every minute today thinking about Jay’s words and their possible meanings and concluded you needed to know the full story if possible, no matter the consequences. “Can I ask you something? It’s about Maddie.” You asked Tyler. “Sure.” “Do you think Maddie likes Josh? I mean, ‘like-likes’ him?” You said looking at Ty, checking his reaction. “Did Jay tell you that?” Tyler asked keeping a perfect poker-face. “Yes. He basically said Maddie used to have a huge crush on him and might still have.” You answered honestly. “Well, first of all, I think you need to ask Maddie. I can’t speak on her behalf on this.” Tyler slowly said, carefully choosing his words. “But let’s say you talk to her and she admits it, then what?” He continued. “You can’t stop her from feeling what she feels, just as she can’t stop you. I’m not saying you should ignore the issue, but maybe she just needs some time to deal with the situation before talking to you.” You sat in silence, overthinking Ty’s words. “Maybe it is better to leave it alone for now. See where this goes first.” You whispered, more to yourself than to Tyler. Tyler just nodded.

The lasagne tasted great and you had a nice dinner with Tyler. Neither of you mentioned Maddie or Josh, both understanding you should leave the whole thing be for a while. Tyler just served you both coffee when you heard Maddie enter the house. “Hey guys! I’m sorry for staying out this long, Y/n, I hope you had a good day?” She hugged you both tightly and sat down with a sigh. “Yes, I went to the movies with Jay and had coffee with Josh and Ty and we just finished dinner. I made lasagne!” You said. “How’s your friend doing?” “She’s okay, I think.” Maddie answered. She continued talking you through the entire history of her friend and her ex-boyfriend while you drank your coffee. Tyler went home after a while, leaving you and Maddie to talk some more. When midnight approached Maddie and you decided it was time for bed. “I almost forgot to ask; did Josh invite you to Monday’s dinner?” Maddie said as you nearly fell asleep. “No. Why would he?” You answered confused. “O. It’s just that Ash called me today that their parents are coming over for a few days next week and they wanted to host a dinner on Monday for them so she invited me. I figured Josh might have asked you to come too.” Maddie stated. “But maybe he’ll ask you later. Anyway, goodnight.”

The days went by quietly as you waited for Sunday to arrive. You stayed at home most of the time, just hanging out with Maddie and sometimes with Jay, who came over to check on you. You woke up Sunday feeling anxious. You hadn’t heard much from Josh, besides a text you received the previous day saying ‘I’ll pick you up at 2PM.’ Maddie had mentioned Monday’s dinner multiple times over the last days making you wonder whether Josh would invite you. You didn’t know where Josh would take you, so you dressed in casual jeans and a sweater, as you usually did. Maddie had wished you luck and left the house shortly before Josh’s arrival to meet up with friends. When the doorbell rang at two o’clock sharp you felt a rush of nerves and opened the door. “Hey, Y/n. You look beautiful. As always.” Josh said, melting your heart immediately. “You look amazing as well. As always.” You replied, bravely kissing his cheek. You saw a slight blush on Josh’s cheeks and chuckled softly, feeling your nerves melt away. You entered his car and he drove you to a big building on the outskirts of the city. You had no idea where you were and couldn’t find any clue around you or on the building. He led you inside and it quickly became clear; he was taking you ice-skating. You hadn’t skated for a while and doubted you’d be any good at it, but you loved the idea and thought it might be romantic. “Do you want to get some hot chocolate first, warm up a little?” Josh asked, clearly happy you seemed to be thrilled about his idea.

You chatted and finished your drink, sometimes wondering if and when he’d invite you for dinner with his parents. Your skating turned out to be even worse than you feared. You probably spent more time falling and crawling back up than you did actually skating, but you had fun nonetheless. Josh was pretty good at it and rushed over to help you up time after time. Due to the soft lighting and nice music the atmosphere was very romantic and right before getting off the ice, Josh turned to you and gently kissed you. Even though it was icy cold in the rink you could feel the heat in your whole body. Josh pulled back from the kiss and led you to the rink exit. You barely spoke, but just stared at each other and smiled while you changed footwear and walked back to the bar. You both ordered a drink and fries and finally started chatting again. “So, what’s your plan for tomorrow?” Josh eventually asked when your fries were already finished and you were about to leave. I thought he’d never ask! Okay, play it cool, you thought. “I don’t have any plans yet. Why?” you replied. “Aren’t Chris and Kelly coming home tomorrow? I thought you might have something planned for them maybe.” Josh said. “O, I see. They’ll be home around noon, so maybe we’ll go out for lunch together. But we’ll see how it goes.” You responded. “Do you have any plans?” “No, not really. Just hang around the house I guess.” Josh said, grabbing his stuff. “I’ll go pay and take you home.” He smiled at you and walked to the bar. When he walked back to your table, you put on your coat and followed him back to the car. He continued talking and you chatted along, not showing your true feelings. Just like after the first date, he parked the car on the corner of the street to say goodbye. “I enjoyed today. I… like you, Y/n.” He said, looking in your eyes. “I like you too Josh. Thank you for another great date.” You replied, bringing your face close to his. This time, you initiated the kiss. It was warm and soft and felt like it lasted hours. “I’ll see you soon.” Josh finally said as you both pulled back.

Walking home you were euphoric, but you could still hear that little voice in your head. Why didn’t he invite me to meet his parents? Isn’t he sure about me yet? Doesn’t he like me? You tried to tell yourself that you only had two dates and it was way too soon to meet his parents. And didn’t he just tell you five minutes ago that he likes you? But that voice didn’t shut up.

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I'm so sorry, but I won't be able to post chapter 10 today 🙁 I had a horrible day and I really tried finishing the chapter but I couldn't concentrate. I just want to crawl in bed and cry and sleep, so that's exactly what I'm going to do now. I'll hopefully will be in a better mood tomorrow, so maybe I'll post tomorrow. I'm sorry it's taking so long! Thanks for bearing with me, love you all. 💋

[itselbaka]

hii love is hard pt 9 was booombb omg when is 10 coming?

I'm happy you liked it! I hope to have the next part up Wednesday. 😊

[itselbaka]

Love is hard - Chapter nine

Pairing: Madison Joseph x reader (friends), Josh Dun x reader (friends, lovers?), Tyler Joseph x reader (friends), Jenna Joseph x reader (friends), other Joseph and Dun family members

Plot: You take a leap year abroad, where you meet Madison Joseph. You become best friends and move in with her family. You meet her brother Tyler and his best friend Josh, who you have a crush on. Will Josh and you become more than friends?

This chapter: Maddie and you made up, so everything’s fine again. Or is it?

Warnings: None

Word count: about 2100

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

A/n: I’m sorry it took so long (again) to get this one up. Thanks to all my sweet followers and all the likes! I hope you have fun reading. Love you all.

The next morning you woke up with a horrible headache. You reluctantly turned around and searched for your phone to look at the time; 2:30 PM. Apparently, the late-night drinking session didn’t agree with Maddie either as she woke up soon after you, groaning and moving slowly. “Morning. I feel terrible. You?” She managed to say. “Good afternoon.” You replied. “I feel like my head is exploding.” You slowly got out of bed to go downstairs, avoiding all mirrors in the process. “Let’s try to eat something. Have some coffee maybe. Might take the edge off.” You said to Maddie who then followed you, softly cursing nearly every step she took. You silently sat at the table sipping your coffee. Maddie was attempting to make bacon and eggs; she said that would help get your strength back. “So… we’re good, right? I mean, everything’s cleared up now?” Maddie asked after a while. “Yeah, sure. After last night, I’d say we’re stronger than ever. Not literally of course.” You chuckled. “Do you remember everything we said last night?” She informed, looking straight at you. “I guess. I don’t know. Why? Did I say something stupid?” You asked confused, not knowing where Maddie was heading with this. “No, no, no. Not at all. Just checking. No worries.” Maddie answered, looking flustered. “Anyway, what’s the plan for today? I’m thinking it’s about time we have another lazy pyjama day!” She quickly added. She’s acting a bit… suspicious. Did something happen last night? You briefly thought. But since your head was hurting too much and things were finally back to normal with Maddie, you opted to just drop the subject. “Yes, a lazy pyjama day is exactly what we need today. Let’s try to eat something and then get lazy!”

“Bacon and eggs, coffee, messy hair, last night clothes still on… looks like you enjoyed yourselves last night!” The voice startled you both and you looked up to see Tyler standing in the doorway smiling at you. “When did you get here?” Maddie asked him. “I’ve been here since around 9 this morning. Dad told you I’d be working on my songs in the basement, right?” He answered, sitting down and pouring himself some coffee. “So you’ve been in the basement almost all day, you probably didn’t even bother to check on us, and only now came out because you smelled bacon? Really Ty?” Maddie said, faking irritation. “I did actually check on you, around noon. Just to make sure you were still breathing.” He laughed. “So, what happened last night?” He asked, looking at you. “Not much. I came home and Ash and Maddie were waiting for me. And we talked, and drank, and talked, and drank and… well, you get the point.” You answered honestly. “You girls talked about the big date I assume?” Ty asked, winking at you. “Yes.” You said, hesitant to say anything about it to Ty. “Wanna fill me in on what was discussed?” Tyler leaned forward as to encourage you to spill the beans. “Nope, sorry. That’s for girls only. If you want to know anything, talk to Josh.” You replied. You were pretty sure Ash would keep your conversations private, even though Josh is her brother, because she promised and she is your friend. But you were completely convinced that Tyler would immediately tell Josh everything you’d say about him, so you figured you best keep quiet about it to Ty. “Already did that. I was just curious what you all said about the kiss.” You tried to stay straight-faced, but already felt a blush creeping up and you couldn’t help but smile a little. Tyler and Maddie both laughed out loud at you. “Okay, well, anyway, how’s Jenna doing? You guys had a nice little vacation?” You swerved the conversation. “Yeah, it was very nice. She’s doing great.” Ty answered, still chuckling at you. “Maybe I’ll meet up with her later. I’ll text her.” You replied. “But first, it’s time for our lazy pyjama day. Let me just change my clothes, be right back.” You left the table and ran upstairs to change into your cosy onesie.

Maddie and you watched three movies while Tyler resided in the basement, presumably writing music. Your head still hurt a little, but you felt a lot better. You had texted Jenna earlier, asking her if she wanted to meet up later. So after a final movie and a delicious pizza that Tyler professionally warmed up you took a long shower and got yourself ready to go. Tyler would drop you off at his house and he’d take Maddie to meet up with Josh and Ash. Of course you had briefed Maddie to find out as much as possible about what Josh thought about your date, but you figured he’d probably be as silent about that to her as you were to Tyler. You were excited to meet up with Jenna again. The time you’d spent with her has been great. Like everyone told you, she was kind, friendly, a good listener and a good adviser. She was probably the first to notice your feelings for Josh and you were glad you’d have the chance to catch up, since you haven’t talked to her since the zoo day. You waved bye at Ty and Maddie as they dropped you off at the house and rang the bell.

“Hey, Y/n! It’s great to see you again. How are you?” Jenna soon opened the door and hugged you. “I’ve missed so much the past few days. Next time wait for me to come back from vacation, okay?” She giggled leading you into the living room. “I’d offer you some wine, but it seems that someone drank it while we were away.” Jenna said. “Yes, I’m sorry. I’ll refill your stash next time. And besides, I think I’m good with just coffee or tea for today.” You smiled. Jenna got you both tea and sat down next to you. “Tell me everything, I want to be in the loop too!” She said, eagerly awaiting the story. Somehow, Jenna had a way of making you feel instantly comfortable around her. You had planned to only tell her some highlights and mostly skip the whole Maddie drama, but before you knew it, you were telling her everything that happened since the zoo in detail. After talking for what felt like an hour, you sighted. “So, that’s the whole story I guess.” You finished. “Wow, I’ve heard a little, of course. Tyler told me about the date and everything he knew, and Ashley mentioned you and Maddie had some issues, but I didn’t know all that happened, clearly. But Maddie and you are okay now, right?” Jenna asked. “Yes, I think we talked it out the best we could. I’m not sure she’s entirely happy with Josh and me dating, but she said she can deal with it.” You replied. “Well, it’s kinda understandable that it might be hard for her.” Jenna said. “With their history and all.” “What do you mean?” You asked. “You know, after what happened, I see why it might be weird for her to see her best friend and Josh falling for each other.” Jenna answered. “I guess, yeah. She told me Josh didn’t have much luck with love. And Josh is like her brother, so it’s like her brother and best friend dating.” You said, assuming that was what Jenna meant. For a second, Jenna looked confused. “What?” You asked, now equally confused. Jenna quickly smiled at you. “Nothing, never mind.” She stood up. “Let me check if we have something to eat, I’m craving some sweets.”

You talked with Jenna the rest of the night, though you felt she attempted to avoid talking about Maddie. When Tyler came home a little after midnight, you decided it was time to go home and walked the small distance. You wanted to drop the subject, not think about it anymore, but you couldn’t help but wonder if there was something you didn’t know or notice. Maddie tried to hide something this morning. Probably about something either of us said last night. And now Jenna acted odd, not wanting to talk about Maddie, or Josh. You pondered on your way home. So, what am I missing here? You considered asking Maddie about it. But you really didn’t want to make waves when things seemed to have finally calmed down. The sound of your phone brought you back to earth and you stopped to check it, standing at the corner of the street.

Josh: How are you? I wanted to wait three days before texting you. They say you’re supposed to do that, right? But I just needed to say hi and maybe ask if you want to plan a second date?

Your heart fluttered as you read the text, immediately forgetting about whatever you were thinking about before.

Y/n: You don’t have to wait. I’m glad you texted! I’m fine, you? I’d love to go on another date.

Josh: Great! Maybe Sunday? We can go to the movies, if you want to.

Y/n: Sure, sounds good. 

Josh: Good. Now I can sleep peacefully. Lol. Goodnight, Y/n.

Y/n: Ha ha me too! Goodnight, Josh.

You felt on top of the world walking the last steps home. Maddie was already asleep and you quickly dived in bed and soon fell asleep.

You woke up the next morning seeing Maddie’s bed empty. You sat up and saw a note on your bedside table.

Annie’s boyfriend broke up with her last night, so I’m over at her place for some tlc. I’ll call you later. Xoxo Mads

You got out of bed and went straight to the bathroom. After showering and dressing, you did your make-up and hair and went downstairs to eat, checking if Ty was in the basement on your way to the kitchen. You seemed to be home alone. You ate some breakfast and took your coffee outside to the porch. The sun was shining brightly and you drank your coffee thinking up a plan for the day. “Good morning. Nice weather today.” You opened your eyes and saw Jay walking to the porch. “Morning, Jay. Yeah, really nice. What brings you here?” Jay sat next to you. “I promised my parents to keep an eye on you guys. Everything okay here? Where’s Maddie?” He asked. “We’re fine. Maddie had to console a friend, so she’s not here.” You answered. “Okay. You have anything planned today?” Jay questioned. “No, I was just thinking about that. You?” “Not really. We can hang out together, if you want to? Maybe catch a movie or something?” He replied. “Sure, why not. Let me just get my stuff.” You entered the house, locating your bag and putting on a light sweater. “Okay, let’s go.”

Jay had been very nice to you since the beginning. You kind of felt he was your big brother, looking after you and just having a laugh together. Standing in line at the movie theatre, you discussed what movie to see, and finally decided to buy ‘I feel lucky’-tickets, which meant you didn’t know what movie was going to play until it started, a surprise. “I guess we aren’t that lucky today.” Jay laughed when you left the cinema. You got stuck in a three-hour indie movie about a girl in Russia who was maybe a spy or something. You didn’t really follow the plot and may have fallen asleep for a little while. “So, I’ve heard you went on a date with Josh.” Jay said as you sat down in a nearby café for a drink. “News travels fast.” You replied, smiling. “It does, yes. So are you planning a second date?” He informed. “Yes, we already planned it actually.” “And Maddie?” He raised his eyebrows. “What about Maddie?” You acted like you had no idea what he was talking about. If you played your cards right, you might find out something. “I mean, is she okay with it?” Jay asked. “Yes, she is. We talked about it, and she’s good. She just needs some time to adjust, right?” You said. “I guess. I’m not sure if she’s completely over Josh, so it might be painful for her to see her best friend and her biggest crush dating.” Jay replied absentmindedly, not noticing your shocked face. Oh, no.

[itselbaka]

When is the next part of Love is Hard coming out? I've been checking back every day to see if it's here :) No pressure though- don't stress yourself out.

Lucky you, it will be up in about 10 minutes! :) I’m happy you like it!

[itselbaka]

Six random facts

I was tagged by the amazing @royalserendipity, thank you! (Btw, if you haven’t read her stories yet, you should definitely do that ASAP, they’re incredible)

1. I have actually spent a year in Portugal doing a student exchange program, much like the character in Love is hard. Unfortunately, I did not meet Madison Joseph there! But it was a great experience and I still visit my host-family every year.

2. I am obsessed with eyebrows. I barely have any eyebrow hairs and the ones I do have are too blonde to notice. It has always made me self-conscious and since I spent so much time (and money) on my own brows, I am ‘hyperaware’ of other people’s brows.

3. I love watching British panel shows. My current favourites are 8 out of 10 cats does countdown and The Big Fat Quiz. I think those shows are incredibly funny and watching them also helps me with my vocabulary.

4. I have one tattoo. It’s a small flower located on my chest. I would love to get another one, but I am too scared / anxious to actually go into the tattoo shop and lay there for who-knows how long.

5. I am terrified of thunder. Whenever it starts thundering I usually go to my mom’s house and drink tea with her. If she’s not available, I’ll go to my brother’s house.

6. I am a big fan of basketball and often stay up to watch games, which in my time zone usually start around 2 or 3 am. Ironically (see fact no. 5) my favourite team is the Oklahoma City Thunder.

I tag: @thatgreekgirlnefi, @kate234, @-mrs-brendon-urie-, @tylerismyfren, @heavydirtydunn, @espinosagrier2002, @spookydoritos, @fallawaynicole, @twenty-one-hogwarts and @phanimagines004.

If you don’t want to do it or have already done it, it’s okay to ignore.

[itselbaka]

Hiii love is hard was amazing❤️ when is the next part coming and how many do you think you are going to write? Lov xx

Thank you! If everything goes as planned, the next part will be up on Thursday at the latest. I think it’s going to be 14 or 15 chapters, but I might add more if that works with the story (and if people are still interested by then)

[itselbaka]

I just have to say that your Love is Hard series might be the best twenty one pilots x reader fic I've ever read. I can't wait for more!

OMG! Thank you sooooo much! You’re making me blush :)

[itselbaka]

Oh my gosh that was amazing! I can't wait for the next part

Thank you sweetie 💋

[itselbaka]

I swear to god Maddie likes Josh or something But great work keep it up 😉

🤔🙃 thank you 😁

[itselbaka]

Love is hard - Chapter eight

Pairing: Madison Joseph x reader (friends), Josh Dun x reader (friends, lovers?), Tyler Joseph x reader (friends), Jenna Joseph x reader (friends), other Joseph and Dun family members

Plot: You take a leap year abroad, where you meet Madison Joseph. You become best friends and move in with her family. You meet her brother Tyler and his best friend Josh, who you have a crush on. Will Josh and you become more than friends?

This chapter: It’s your first date with Josh. And you have to talk to Maddie afterwards.

Warnings: None

Word count: about 2100

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7

“So… is everything okay with you?” Josh asked while he started the car. You could easily see he felt uncomfortable, both from the nerves of the upcoming date as from the strange encounter in the living room. “Yes, just some things to talk about with Maddie. Don’t worry, I’m okay.” You answered, not wanting to let him in on what was really happening. “How are you? Are Ty and Jenna back from their trip yet?” You asked Josh, wanting to steer the conversation away from the negative things. “Yeah, they got back this morning. And someone has been in their house, drinking their wine, or so I’ve heard.” He smiled at you. “Well, I needed some female advice. Ash and I met up there. I’ll call him later to apologize and buy him some more wine.” You smiled brightly at Josh.

Josh and you politely chit-chatted the rest of the way and he soon parked the car. You got out of the car and looked around. “I’ve been thinking on where to take you and figured this might be nice. It’s a really nice park and there’s a farm with a petting zoo in the middle. And there’s this restaurant on the other side, so we can go there to eat.” Josh looked at you nervously, checking your reaction. “I just thought we got off on the wrong foot at the zoo, you know, so now we can…, you know, see some animals together. Like, start over fresh.” He didn’t look directly at you, all of the sudden shy and insecure. You immediately melted, not only because of his demeanour, but also his words. “That sounds really nice, Josh. Very sweet of you.” You stammered, feeling the heat rising to your face. Now that he looked at you again, the nerves hit you with full force. He nodded at you and you followed him to the path leading into the park. Walking behind him, you took a good look at his clothes. He wore neat dark blue jeans, a slightly wrinkly off-white polo, topped with a black and yellow striped sweater. You wondered if Ashley helped him with his outfit too, thinking he dressed ‘casual, a bit dressed up, not trying too hard’, as Ashley said. The path soon became wide enough for you to walk next to Josh. You could tell he was just as nervous as you, hands in his pockets, eyes to the ground and not talking. “Let’s go to see the animals first. I’m not that hungry yet. Okay?” You tried starting the conversation. “Sure.” He answered. During the fifteen-minute walk to the farm, you both only occasionally talked, mostly saying something along the line off: “That … looks beautiful.” You wished you asked more advice about the actual date to Ashley, instead of focussing on whether or not you should go on the date.

The farmhouse was closed, but you could still see and touch the animals that walked outside. There were chickens, some sheep, one goat and a cat. “Well, this isn’t much of a zoo, is it?” You joked, attempting to lighten the mood. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know it would be this small. I guess most animals are inside, we’re too late.” Josh said, sounding disappointed and looking a little… irritated? “Let’s just go to the restaurant then.” He said before you had the chance to pet any of the few animals around. Josh turned around and started following the path towards the restaurant. You quickly caught up with him. “So, what’s going on with the band?” You asked, hoping that talking about that would finally get some conversation started. Luckily, Josh was very happy talking about Twenty Øne Piløts, telling you about the new songs they were writing, and the European tour they had done recently. “We’ll start the next part of our tour next month, across the US. I can’t wait to get back on the road again.” He said when you entered the restaurant. He walked towards a waiter, presumably asking him about seating, cutting the conversation short. Josh waved you over and led you to a small table in the far corner of the restaurant. You both ordered drinks and checked out the menu. “So, you’ll leave next month. For how long?” You asked, trying to sound unfazed. “Yeah. We’ll probably be gone about four months. We’ll have some breaks in between, but only for a few days.” He nonchalantly answered. “Excuse me, I have to use the restroom.” You said.

What was I thinking? Risking everything for this! He leaves in four weeks and will be gone for months. Meanwhile I’m in university, so I won’t be able to visit him. And he’s travelling around, meeting nice girls every day. You thought to yourself, silently cussing yourself out for not thinking this through. Your phone bleeped, signalling a message. It was from Ashley, asking how things were going. You decided to quickly call her. “Ash. Things are not going well. It’s awkward and we’re both nervous. I don’t even know what to say. And now he told me he’s leaving next month and not coming back for a while. In other words: he’s so not ready for a serious relationship right now. Why didn’t you tell me that? If I knew that, I wouldn’t have gone on this stupid date and things with Maddie would be still fine!” You ranted, though keeping your voice down. “Wow, okay, you need to calm down! First of all, everyone gets nervous on a first date. Try to ask him things you don’t know about yet, hobbies or whatever, and take it from there. Tell him something about yourself. It might be weird at first, but you’ll be chatting in no time. And second; of course he’s going on tour again. But that doesn’t mean he can’t be involved with someone! You still have a month to see if this is going somewhere, and if you decide you want to be together, it’ll work itself out, I promise. Don’t worry about that now, okay? Get back in there, take a deep breath and talk. I’ll even give you a first question to ask. I know it’s cheesy and lame, but it might get you started.” Ashley said. You had managed to calm yourself down and decided you might as well try your best tonight and worry about everything later. Taking a last deep breath, you walked back to your table and sat down. “So, Josh, what do you like to do in your free time?”

You’d never admit it to Ashley, but after that question, and Josh’s roaring laughter because of it, it felt like a new beginning. You were soon chatting about everything and anything, and before you knew it the restaurant was empty and close to closing. Josh paid the bill, although you protested and insisted on paying half. You exited the restaurant and once again followed the path, towards the car this time. The farm and petting zoo were deserted, but you were both too immersed in your conversation to notice. You got in the car and soon were close to home. Josh stopped the car on the corner of your street. “I want to say goodbye without Ash and Maddie staring at us through the curtains.” Josh smiled. “I had an amazing time. I was nervous at first, but I really enjoyed your company, Y/n.” He said, almost whispering. “I had a great time as well. Thank you for the lovely date.” You hesitated for a second, doubting if you should bring up your worries. Just as you decided you better say something now and get it over with, Josh slowly leaned over and softly kissed you. He pulled back quicker than you wanted him to, and had the most adorable smile on his face. You didn’t check it in the mirror, but you were sure your face looked quite similar with a slight blush on the cheeks and a sweet smile. His hands were probably just as sweaty as yours, from the nerves and the excitement. He turned the car back on and drove past the last few houses, stopping in front of yours. “I’ll call or text you soon. Goodnight.” Josh said, once again smiling his eye-crinkling smile to you.

You walked to the door as slow as possible. You needed some time to process the great date and amazing kiss, but you knew Maddie was waiting for you inside and you didn’t want to show her how euphoric you were right now. You heard Josh drive away and within seconds, Ashley ran over to you and dragged you inside, asking a million questions. “Maddie has gone out to buy some drinks and snacks, so you have about 5 minutes to tell me everything!” Ashley said excited, immediately understanding your initial silence. She sat you down on the sofa next to her and looked at your face, a smile creeping up. “O my God. He kissed you, didn’t he?!” She nearly screamed. “Yes.” You answered sheepishly not wanting to sound too excited. Ashley jumped of the couch, clapping her hands and laughing manically. She acted just as you felt and you smiled wide. “You can’t be this excited about wine and M&M’s.” You heard Maddie giggle in the hallway.

“O, I didn’t realize you were back. I take it the date went well then.” Maddie said when she entered the living room. “Yes, I just got home. We had a nice time.” You tried not to sound to enthusiastic. Maddie sat down across from you. Ashley got some glassed from the kitchen and poured you all a drink. “So, I’ve been thinking about how to do this. I suggest Y/n starts. She can tell her point of view and reasoning. After that Maddie can do the same. And then, maybe… hopefully, we can find some common ground and address your concerns and work this out, okay?” Ashley suggested. Maddie nodded, and you took a sip, trying to arrange your thoughts. “I’m not sure I have a lot to say. I’ve hung out with Josh a couple of times. Maddie was there most of the times. And we kinda clicked. And I started liking him more and more. When Maddie asked me about it, I decided to be honest to her, because she’s my best friend. I could tell she didn’t like it, but at the same time, I guess I figured she’d eventually come around.” You explained, not sure what to say. “I don’t really understand why Maddie can’t just trust me. Trust me that I won’t just screw this all up and destroy everything. I hoped she would be happy for me.” You sadly added. Ashley nodded. “Okay. Maddie, can you respond to that?” She said. “Sure, dr. Phil.” Maddie answered, making you all chuckle. “I have been thinking about this a lot. And while you were on your date, Ashley and I talked. And I regret not being there for you the past few days. I do want to be that best friend you can tell everything to. And I’m still a little worried, but mostly just because that’s what I do. I overthink and worry. I love you and want to be as close as before again, Y/n. And if that means I must accept that you’re dating Josh and that I have to stop worrying and whining about that, then so be it. I am sorry.” Maddie said, tearing up. You softly cried from her moving words and went over to hug Maddie tightly. You were so relieved. “So, tell me all about your date.” Maddie said after the long hug, wiping her tears away.

You talked, and laughed, and hugged and drank. You could not believe your luck. You had a great date, an amazing kiss and now your best friend and you made up. Ashley called a cab and left the house over an hour ago, slightly drunk and very happy. Maddie and you had finished the other bottles of wine, making it three bottles each, and spent the better part of the last hour trying to get upstairs and to bed. Slightly bruised, heads buzzing, and laughing hysterically, you both managed to tuck yourself in. “I can’t believe Josh kissed me.” You said. “The hottest guy on the planet kissed me. Me!” You screamed out, giggling. You couldn’t remember the last time you were this drunk. Nothing around you registered in your mind anymore, and you were soon dozing off. “I know! You are so lucky. I tried to get him to kiss me so many times, but he never did. He never even took me on a second date. And it only took you a week!” Maddie answered, but you were already asleep, and her words never reached you.