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itsdelilah123 · 2 years

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i love the idea of like. in the au where nigel lives and him n alex run away n shit. and they learn to live together through less than ideal circumstances. how they still dont rly get it, they dont get why they r truly doing all of this.

(this turned out to be way longer than i thought. but oh well. its always the same with good ol me)

like nigel is delusional n believes in smth bigger than him and alex to drive him forwards and give him purpose. he needs to have a destiny and when he finds alex he thinks "oh. oh this is it. i have to show him the truth, this is amazing, alex has to know abt this!". so he only stays with alex in the assumption that that is his destiny and there's nothing else he can do. this is it. he WILL stay with alex.

and alex started by being weirded out, annoyed, but ultimately intrigued by nigel. and then the train thing happened. and then he realized nigel wasn't just some guy who killed animals he just let his friend fucking die in front of him. and he now believes his like intrigue comes from some weird mind connection to nigel, that is bad and that nigel started because nigel is bad and alex is the victim in his mind, so he rejects it as much as he can. he rejects everything nigel tells him n does cuz he cannot face how he can see nigel do all this shit and still be intrigued, interested.

and then nigels parents die. alex kills nigel's dad, and seals his fate in nigel's weird game. he's now an accomplice theres nothing to be done, hes lost. while nigel feels like their path is so fucking clear. its this juxtaposition that rly makes those last scenes between the two so interesting. alex knows he's done for. nigel thinks they've just begun.

so then they run away. because they're in on it together now, alex has no choice but to run away with nigel. nigel just puts this in the "this is meant to be" list for their destiny, their path. and i bet those first months together were fucking ROUGH i mean. running away aside, they were downright volatile with each other. i feel like alex would be explosive and never rly knowing his own mind in the sense that "wtf am i doing with my life" so he takes it out on nigel and blames him for everything. and nigel just takes it because at least theyre together, he just needs to wait 9 months for the maraclea thing and then they can continue with "their" plan.

its fucking chaos, it isnt good, and these boys cannot for the life of them see that they have feelings for each other. thats the kicker.

its another thing that panics alex, that he thinks doesnt make any sense because 1) nigel is a boy (religious trauma lets goooo) and 2) nigel is very fucking unwell. alex feels HORRIBLE, dirty even by his feelings, because of these 2 things and it all makes him hate nigel even more.

and nigel? he doesnt even realize them. he just assumes his need for alex's acceptance, the way it hurts whenever alex screams and glares at him, the way he sort of likes it, but most of all how he cannot get the tiny moments of peace they have out of his mind, that its all just. part of the plan. theyre together, they have a maraclea, everything makes sense. everything else is happening because their destinies r being fulfilled. he never outs 2 and 2 together and says "i have feelings for alex"

and i think theres a BIG, CATASTROPHIC "Oh" moment that really sets them both off, but in opposite directions.

alex in a sort of understanding, a sort of "oh. im not a monster for liking nigel.", a weird kinda of peace of "well we made it this far. theres no point in just pissing in his own cereal. they're here, they're alive, and they're young. so why the fuck not?"

nigel in a total mental breakdown, foundations crumbling, nothing makes sense type of thing. like maybe things arent so simple as he thought, that their destiny is more HIS destiny in the sense that hes the only one that believes in it. but then alex is still here. why? "oh. something went wrong. this is not how it's supposed to go. i fucked up our destinies." like he truly feels like he failed somehow, failed in doing something impossible and not real, and he cant fucking compute because of it.

and i think it happens when they officially know that the police gave up on trying to find them. alex is the most relieved. nigel doesnt care. he needs to go to his maraclea still and he tells alex as such and they have their 1000th argument that day.

they are not going back, alex says. they need to go back, nigel says. to finish it. and alex is so DONE. hes done with nigel's shit, he doesnt even get it, never let himself think much abt the other boys for various reasons, but now? now he MAKES himself think abt it. and alex is intelligent. and he knows more abt nigel than he thought. nigel is just stubbornly clinging onto his og point, they have fates, their intertwined, etc. it all makes sense, im your spade, your my jack, duh. we have a higher purpose, thats why ure here. and its THIS that finally breaks alex and he busts out this:

"im not here because of some made up destiny you believe in, im here because i want to! ME! not Jack, who is dead, Alex! i want us both here, i want to stay here, i wanna keep this!"

and alex finally gets it. because as much as he'd like to pretend like he's hated being on the run with nigel, deep down he knows, he knows because hes seen glimpses of it, he knows he can be at peace with nigel. it would scare him so bad when he felt comfort at coming back to his and nigels place cuz how dare he feel that, thats wrong, everything is wrong. but if everything is wrong than everything is right, and nothing fucking matters. alex realizes that they are SAFE. they escaped. they run away and it WORKED. and theyre both alive. and theres something so calming abt it that it resets alex completely. yh he doesnt truly get nigel. but he wants to. he doesnt want to lose their peace and he doesnt want to lose nigel. and it doesnt scare him anymore. its just what it is. its okay, theyre okay, they will be.

but nigel is not okay. he does not get it. what do u mean you WANT to be here as alex? no, its jack. doesnt matter what they were before they met, those boys dont matter. now he's jack's pike nothing else. he cant understand why alex would cling to an old life where they had no purpose and therefore no reason to keep on living. he does not understand why alex of all ppl, who does nothing but show him how much he hates nigel, would want to stay for any other reason than he HAS to. thats the whole foundation of this, nigel never cared for all the insults n shit because he saw how alex stayed, and how he kept buying nigels fav tea, or how he tried to like dogs more even tho hes more of a cat person. its all for the destiny. for the cause, the order. theres nothing else that makes sense. and nigels never been more lost.

so nigel goes "youre here because you have to be. you have no choice, thats the whole point." and THIS is when alex gets nigel. and hes like oh shit, oh he got rly fucked up growing up huh. and now alex has to try and make nigel understand that no, he is not here cuz he has to, hes here because he wants to. now hes more afraid that if he makes nigel understand that, makes him see that he can just live life without some greater purpose cuz its already so good to be alive, its a fucking gift, hes scared nigel will choose something that tears them apart, like leaving, or full on ending his life, or turning himself in or smth.

so while alex is trying to start that convo, nigel just gets more and more agitated because he can see that alex is not getting it and he needs him to cuz otherwise his life doesnt make sense. and he does smth impulsive and runs out of the door. he needs to be Away. he cant stay inside a place theyve made their own when he thought they understood each other but he doesnt understand anything at all actually.

alex panics, naturally, and they havent gotten phones yet cuz they didnt want any tracking to be done (now they can have it, now that they know theyre somewhat safe) so if nigel is gone, than hes gone for good. and alex tries to follow but nigel screams at alex to stay away. and its the first time nigel's been properly angry at alex. so he stays. and he just hopes that nigel comes back cuz atp what else is he gonna do but probs fuck it all up again.

its pouring rain, and nigel just walks. he just wanted distance but now he panics because hes not supposed to be away from alex, wtf is he doing, but also is alex even his jack? and he jsut spirals more n more, he doesnt even notice hes walking with just socks on.

what if this is still part of their destiny? he clings to that but to his dismay and horror it is way harder than he thought. he was so convinced he knew the way forward but he isnt sure now, so now he looks back at everything he's ever thought ever since he met alex and doubts. he doubts it all. was it ever real? were they even chosen? did he have any purpose? and as much as he clings to "yes" he only truly believes in "no". should he have seen the signs? that he was wrong? was alex right? there was always this competition between them, who was right and who was wrong and both believed they were right. and nigel thought he must be right because he had the books and history to back it up. he believed in all that. and now his parents are dead, and susan, and theyre criminals, and he did it all thinking he knew everything and now he realizes maybe it was all for nothing. but the one thing that he used to think that completely refuted this was alex staying. he never wouldve out of his own free will. why would he? theres no logical explanation. and nigel NEEDS some logical explanation for this cuz it cant be "alex wants to be with him" that doesnt make sense, alex doesnt make sense. jack makes sense. he's solid. why isnt he real? he doesnt understand.

when he goes back its not because hes reached a conclusion. no hes faaaaaaar from it. but his stuff is here and he is attached to his projects, his weak humanity showing through. and alex is still there. and then the weirdest thing ever happens.

alex starts to banter. hes normally all insults that are meant to hurt. but when he calls nigel a "wet rat making a mess of my floor with all that mud" its just teasing. and then he give nigel a change of clothes and "threatens" him to shower or else, but its not really a threat. nigel is very lost, but this is his jack and he'll just. do what he says for now. when he gets his head back on track he can fight back. but sometimes u need to lay low and then come back online. so he showers (alex makes sure the water is warm), he changes, he uses alex's slippers per alex's demands, and then the doorbell rings. hes confused, cuz they dont have any friends or anything, but then alex opens the door and grabs the pizza boxes from the guys hands and pays and its only now that nigel notices hes kinda hungry, and it is late. past dinner time for sure. they have this old tv that barely works but has a dvd player and alex sits in front of the couch with the pizza and tells nigel to "fucking sit down or i'll punch u". so nigel does, and they're watching some old fantasy esque movie that hes not paying attention to cuz wtf is happening. alex eats the pizza, nigel holds one slice and doesnt move. just stares at alex. he notices and asks, honestly, "u dont like the pizza? idk ur tastes that well so i went for basic pepperoni." nigel sees a teenager in front of him and realizes belatedly that only a few months ago they turned 18. alex looks young. he is young. he has sauce on his cheek. and then nigel says "ive never had pizza before" and eats it. and its fine. but then alex laughs at teases him abt him having no life whatsoever, what a loser, and scoots closer to him, and suddenly the pizza its the best thing thats ever happened in nigels life, and he hasnt gotten it yet, not fully, but hes willing to play along and understand it along the way.

its the first time he willingly lets himself to something he just feels like doing. hes never done that before. it scares him. alex leans over him and pats his shoulder with his head and that scares him too. he's seeing alex now, not jack, and all he can feel is how warm he is right next to him, full of blood, and alive and red. its a heady feeling.

and this is how nigel starts to get that there is no otherworldly purpose to life. life just is. and he gets alex as a bonus, isnt that neat.

(they still have a longgggggg way to go to figure out their romantic feelings, but one thing at a time yall)

also: alex being very touched starved and always showing his affection physically, which nigel finds confusing but accepts cuz he lowkey likes it, even if it confuses him a lot. and then he does it back on his own initiative once, cuz he saw alex stare longingly at a couple hugging and holding hands and kissing and he was overwhelmed with a need to show, not tell, alex how much he cares for him. so he wakes up next morning and hugs alex from behind while hes coming back online with coffee and alex almost burns himself. anyways. nigel being confused by tenderness and alex reveling in being able to be gentle with someone finally

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itsdelilah123 · 2 years

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WINE STAINS

Nigel Colbie x Alex Forbes one-shot

prologue: Alex has been coming home later and later from his shifts at the bar and Nigel isn’t sure what to think, so one day he waits late into the morning for Alex to ask him about his “late shifts” at work.

🍷

(Side eye)

Alex’s pov:

I’m wiping down the countertop of the bar I work at thinking about how ready I am to get home. I’ve been taking overtime shifts to save up extra cash for the past 3 months for me and Nigel’s 3rd anniversary. I’m going to propose to him tomorrow morning, I got it all planned out. the ring I got him isn’t anything special but it’s enough (hopefully) I’ve also got a week-long trip to Rome Italy planned out, I know he always wanted to go there. I feel bad for always being at work but I’m praying to god that the proposal will make things better.

Third-person pov:

Alex finishes up cleaning with a slight smile on his face thinking about how Nigel was worth being sleep deprived and overworked. Alex gets paid a decent salary enough to pay for his and Nigel’s small apartment and everything they need, just not enough to get up and leave whenever they want. this has put a strain on their relationship but he knows they can get through it. Nigel will understand and get over it.

…

“ALRIGHT AMY IM HEADING OUT”

Alex yells to his coworker, Amy. She is one of the few people who he actually considers a friend, she’s even helped Alex plan out this whole proposal.

“OK DOLLOP HEAD” (Merlin reference😉)

Amy shouts back, Alex smiles after hearing her and nearly drops his car key trying to take them out of his pocket and unlock his car. he sighs and relaxes into the driver seat leaning his head back and trying to imagine Nigel’s reaction, yes they’ve been together for 3 years but he’s still scared of the possibility of Nigel saying no.

Alex shakes his body trying to push away those heart-aching thoughts and pulls off ready to go home.

Nigel’s pov:

For the past three months, Alex has been working “overtime” and he’s never home. His work has consumed him. His whole routine is work, home, and sleep. I don’t ever see him awake anymore, When I do cross paths with him it is very rare, I’m either waking up and he’s sleeping or I’m waking up when he’s just come back home. But today I’ve decided to wait up for him. I’m tired of trying to think of different explanations. He doesn’t need to work overtime it’s not like we need the money, I’ve checked our bank balance a few times and they haven’t changed. what reason does he have if he’s not profiting from anything? I don’t even get to have an explanation for any of this. it feels like he’s ignoring me trying to avoid me even. Every time I ask him about it or bring it up (when I get the rare chance of running into him when he’s not snoring) he gets defensive or says “his boss just needed an extra hand on shift”.

Third-person pov:

it’s been 3 hours since Nigel has decided he was going to wait up for Alex, he sat on their couch book in his lap and a glass of dark red wine resting on the coffee table next to him, it was getting late and Nigel didn’t know if he could stay up for any longer. It was currently 2:10 am and he got off work at 7:00 pm. Nigel started biting on his lip wondering if he should just go to sleep? he has work in the morning. Nigel furrows his brows gripping the cushions of the couch his knuckles turning white, he doesn’t understand why Alex couldn’t at least be home the night before their anniversary. Nigel wanted to see him before he had to go in for work the next day. Nigel lets out a sigh looking around and getting more anxious as thoughts run through his head. His eyes ended up landing on his glass of wine, he grabs the glass and slowly puts the rim up to his lips, he takes a deep breath before completely chugging the glass down, and wine drips down the sides of Nigel’s mouth dripping onto his (Alex’s) white shirt leaving small wine stains down the front of the shirt. Nigel pours himself another after another glass🍷.

…

Nigel is onto his 4th cup of wine but stops when someone abruptly grabs his wrist. he didn’t hear anything because he was completely zoned out (and tipsy)so he was shocked when he felt someone grabbing into him. Nigel choked on the wine coughing as the glass was being taken from his hand.

“Nigel, what are you doing up so late?”

Nigel looks up to see Alex staring at him confused and concerned.

“waiting for you ofc-of course”

Nigel says looking back into Alex’s eyes.

Alex’s pov:

I pull into the parking lot of our apartment building, I quickly rush out of my car into the small building to not freeze my ass off. I walk up 2 flights of stairs (we live on the second floor) I pull my keychain out from my pocket and unlock the door not expecting Nigel to be up but I’m taken it back when I walk into the apartment and see the dim glow of the living room light. Nigel probably just forgot to shut it off before going to bed- well that’s what I thought before I walk into the living to see Nigel chugging down a glass of wine. The shirt he’s wearing is covered with red stains, he had a blanket loosely covering his midriff, his hair was messy framing his face perfectly and his cheeks were a bright red compared to his fair skin— he looked beautiful.

I rushed over to him and grab his wrist pulling the drink away from his mouth before he could finish the glass.

“Nigel, what are you doing up so late?”

I ask him generally confused, he is always asleep by now.

“Waiting for you ofc-of course.”

“for me?”

I question not quite understanding from the lack of sleep. He looks away for a second but I grab his chin slowly pulling his head to face me.

“you stood up all this time waiting for me—why?” This idiot…

Third-person pov:

Nigel looks into Alex’s eyes and says “because you’re never here.” His eyes started to tear up (the alcohol making him more emotional).

“god Nigel…don’t cry, I’m sorry,” Alex whispers taking his thumb wiping away the stray tear that left Nigel’s eye, in this moment Alex takes in the boy in front of him studying his details closely. His eyes travel from his pitch black hair to his icy blue eyes onto his red chapped lips. Alex didn’t know what to do he’s never seen Nigel act this way before.

“Why are you always at work? Your keeping secrets…we agreed to always tell each other the truth!” Nigel says pushing away Alex’s hand wiping away his tears and looking back at Alex with a cold harsh stare. “Tell me…Alex, why? Did I do something wrong is it me…is it me Alex?” Nigel begs letting out a choked sob, his breathing quickened and his face went from relaxed to distressed. Alex's heart breaks in that moment. He never realized how much stress he’s put Nigel through, how could he let Nigel ever think that he did something that would make Alex want to ignore him?

“no. Nigel god no you didn’t do anything. Im so sorry…” Alex says almost whispering. “Let’s go to bed please I’ll explain to you in the morning...I’m exhausted and I’m sure you are too.”

Nigel finally looks into Alex’s sorrowful eyes and hesitantly agrees. Alex smiles softly and put his hands on Nigel’s face gently rubbing small circles into his cheeks with his thumbs. Alex sighs and leans down and places a soft kiss on Nigel’s lips, resting his head on Nigel’s shoulder raping his arms around his waist.

“let’s go to sleep I’ll explain everything in the morning.” Patting his side Alex slides his hands underneath Nigel’s thighs lifting him.

“Ok” Nigel whispers while he wraps his arms around Alex resting his head on his shoulder his eyes growing heavier by the second. Alex makes his way to their shared bedroom shutting off the living room light on the way. Alex places Nigel on the bed telling Nigel to “wait he will be back in a second” going to the closet changing from his outside clothes to a pair of sweatpants, he then goes back over to Nigel changing his stained shirt and replacing it with a clean one.

Alex lays down bringing Nigel close to himself and placing soft kisses on his face and neck before they finally went to sleep. 😍(finally)

(Smoking hot lady 😍)

THE NEXT MORNING

Alex pov:

I woke up to the smell of coffee, I stretch and open my eyes to see Nigel gone from the bed. I throw the blanket off of myself and walk out into the small hallway and hear my name being said. “Alex?”

I blink a couple of times and see Nigel coming up to me with a mug in his hands. I smile walking over to him raping my arms around him in a bear hug. “Good morning handsome..” I say placing a kiss on his neck.

“happy anniversary,” I tell him pulling away from my hug and looking into his eyes. “I’m sorry for keeping secrets. I’m sorry for putting you under so much stress—“ I was cut off by Nigel giving me a slow and gentle kiss, he pulled away and said, “you're a dick, and a liar.” I smile and give him an Eskimo kiss. “Let me get your gift.” I peck his lips and walk back into our room pulling out a small black wooden box.

Nigel’s pov:

I woke up by the sun hitting my face I look at Alex peacefully sleeping next to me, I can’t entirely recall what happened yesterday but I do remember most of it. I sigh and get up walking into the living room looking at the mess I left.

I cleaned up the bottle of wine throwing it away while folding and putting the pillows and blankets back into their original spots. I stretched and walk back into the kitchen making myself a cup of coffee. I stood in the kitchen with my thoughts running freely inside my mind until I hear the old wooden floorboards of our apartment creek.

“Alex?” I say walking into our living room to see him standing in the middle of the hallway with his head hanging low. Once he heard me call out to him he lifts his head smiling while coming over to me, he raps me into a hug saying “good morning handsome..” and placing a kiss onto my neck. I shiver at the feeling of his lips on me.

I’m caught off guard when he says “happy anniversary.” He pulls away from our hug and looks into my eyes. Before I can say anything in return he follows up by saying “I’m sorry for keeping secrets. I’m sorry for putting you under so much stress—“ before he can finish his apology I kiss him It was simple and sweet.

“you’re a dick, and a liar,” I say after pulling away from the kiss. He smiles giving me an Eskimo kiss. “Let me get your gift.” He tells me pecking my lips before rushing off into our room.

third person pov:

Alex walks out of their room with a small black wooden box in his hands and visibly stressed.

“Nigel I know I haven’t been the best to you over the past few months but I hope this makes up for it because if it doesn’t all the time I’ve spent working would just be wasted and I don’t know if— let me just get straight to the point…Nigel I know I haven’t been the best I love you more than anything and I would love to be able to spend the rest of my life with you…” Alex gets down on one knee opening the box and finally ask the question he’s been wanting to ask for the longest.

“Will you marry me?”

Nigel stands there frozen. He’s lost for words he never thought Alex would propose. Meanwhile Alex is getting more and more nervous because Nigel still hasn’t said anything.

“Nigel..?” Alex questioned voice shaking. So many thoughts were running throughout his head, god this was a mistake he doesn’t want to marry your dumb ass, why would he u basically ignored him for 3 months. Alex tells himself breathing heavier and heavier by the second growing more stressed.

Nigel’s eyes start to water a little bit and he whispers “of course”

“What?” Alex questions desperate to know Nigel’s answer.

“I said of course.”

Alex sighs and stands up his whole body relaxing, he walks over to Nigel looking into his eyes and down at his hand before grabbing the other boy's hand and placing the ring onto it the latter doing the same. big smiles placed on their faces.

Alex places his forehead onto Nigel’s putting his arms around Nigel’s body hugging his now fiancé. Nigel does the same and says.

“happy anniversary”

they’re finally united as one guys

(y’all I half-assed the ending but tell me if u want a part.2 idk if I will make one but if this does ok I might. Sorry if this is bad as well I have written anything in a hot minute. And there are probably a lot of spelling errors)

#noncharacterpersonality #nigel colbie #alex forbes #like minds #AU plot #Engagement #probally cringe #Part.1?#Angst2fluff #Nigel x Alex #Kissing #Like minds 2006

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