itscanonfodder

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You spelled "classical music" wrong...

What people who've never read Shakespeare think: 'Oh, the Bard, I bet his writing is so sophisticated and pure and oh gosh, it must be so perfect and deep.'

What people who've read Shakespeare know: DICK JOKES, DICK JOKES EVERYWHERE

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VERTIGO

Well, it’s September. A chill is in the air, kids are going back to school, and spooky stories are starting to come up in conversation. In that spirit, we’re jumping into one of my all-time favorite film scores because nothing says “fall” quite like Vertigo…

Read more terrible puns and musical walkthough of the Vertigo Score at http://canonfodder.net/vertigo

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End Times/Eclipse soundtrack

Scriabin wrote this totally insane and awesome piece for the end of the world. Like it was supposed to be a week-long and end in the "transcendental extasy” and the end of the human race as they merge with the divine. The original plan was supposed to be a synesthetic experience and called for a procession, lighting effects, incense, and dancers. It was to be performed at a custom-built auditorium in India. 

Except he never finished it so GOOD NEWS EVERYONE, listening to it won’t make the world end! He sketched it all out and had 1000 + lines of text and 50 some pages of sketched out movement ideas, but only got about 72 pages of music out and eventually Alexander Nemtin “finished” it for him at 3 hours (boooo where is my week-long concert???). But it’s creepy and ethereal and mysterious and trippy and perfect for your eclipse viewing...especially if you live in one of those places where you won’t be able to see it and you need to imagine...

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Me, yelling across the apartment: “Is it too early for Mahler?” 

::ALL OF THE POWER IN MY HOUSE IMMEDIATELY TURNS OFF::

jokes on you, I have a data plan and I'm not afraid to use it

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👏 Camille 👏 Saint 👏 Saëns 👏

Reblog if you agree

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Unpopular opinion I know, but

I like classical music. It’s nice and relaxing.

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I can’t stop. Here is composer Erik Satie’s daily schedule (emphasis mine):

Here is a time-table of my daily acts. I rise at 7.18; am inspired from 10.23 to 11.47. I lunch at 12.11 and leave the table at 12.14. A healthy ride on horse-back round my domain follows from 1.19 pm to 2.53 pm. Another bout of inspiration from 3.12 to 4.7 pm. From 5 to 6.47 pm various occupations (fencing, reflection, immobility, visits, contemplation, dexterity, natation, etc.)

Dinner is served at 7.16 and finished at 7.20 pm. From 8.9 to 9.59 pm symphonic readings (out loud). I go to bed regularly at 10.37 pm. Once a week (on Tuesdays) I awake with a start at 3.14 am.

My only nourishment consists of food that is white: eggs, sugar, shredded bones, the fat of dead animals, veal, salt, coco-nuts, chicken cooked in white water, mouldy fruit, rice, turnips, sausages in camphor, pastry, cheese (white varieties), cotton salad, and certain kinds of fish (without their skin). I boil my wine and drink it cold mixed with the juice of the Fuschia. I have a good appetite but never talk when eating for fear of strangling myself.

I breathe carefully (a little at a time) and dance very rarely. When walking I hold my ribs and look steadily behind me.

My expression is very serious; when I laugh it is unintentional, and I always apologise very politely.

I sleep with only one eye closed, very profoundly. My bed is round with a hole in it for my head to go through. Every hour a servant takes my temperature and gives me another.

GUYS I WANT WEIRD CLASSICAL MUSIC HISTORY FACTS PLEASE REBLOG WITH CLASSICAL MUSIC HISTORY FACTS THIS STUFF IS INTERESTING

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If someone had fucked up and let Tchaikovsky hear the ballet Sylvia by Delibes (now a fairly obscure, rarely performed work) before he finished Swan Lake he said he never would have written it at all because he felt Delibes’ ballet was so much better. And then Natalie Portman would never have gotten an Oscar. 

GUYS I WANT WEIRD CLASSICAL MUSIC HISTORY FACTS PLEASE REBLOG WITH CLASSICAL MUSIC HISTORY FACTS THIS STUFF IS INTERESTING

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Ralph Vaughan Williams got arrested while he was walking along the seashore writing down the theme of “The Lark Ascending” because a six-year-old told police he’d seen a German spy watching ships and writing in code

GUYS I WANT WEIRD CLASSICAL MUSIC HISTORY FACTS PLEASE REBLOG WITH CLASSICAL MUSIC HISTORY FACTS THIS STUFF IS INTERESTING

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What do you wish you had known before your first symphony concert/opera?

How to dress?

How early to get there?

How to pick a good concert or at least, how to pick a concert you’ll enjoy?

What seats to pick?

LMK GUYS THANKS (she shouted into the void)

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(via GIPHY)

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Current Mood. 

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Goin’ to see Manfred Symphony tonight and honestly, the program for it is completely insane and I am HERE FOR IT 100%

1.Manfred wanders in the Alps. Weary of the fatal question of existence, tormented by hopeless longings and the memory of past crimes, he suffers cruel spiritual pangs. He has plunged into occult sciences and commands the mighty powers of darkness, but neither they nor anything in this world can give him the forgetfulness to which alone he vainly aspires. The memory of the lost Astarte, once passionately loved, gnaws his heart and there is neither limit nor end to Manfred's despair.

2. The Alpine fairy appears before Manfred in the rainbow from the spray of a waterfall.

3.A picture of the bare, simple, free life of the mountain folk

4.The subterranean palace of Arimanes. Infernal orgy. 

Appearance of Manfred in the middle of the bacchanal. Evocation and appearance of the shade of Astarte. He is pardoned. Death of Manfred.

LOUDEST FINALE IN ALL OF TCHAIKOVSKY LET’S HECKIN DO THIS THING

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SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA STEREOTYPES

FRONT DESK 1st VIOLINS:

FRONT DESK 2nd VIOLINS:

OTHER VIOLINS:

VIOLAS:

CELLOS:

DOUBLE BASSES:

OBOES:

#tuning

FLUTES:

CLARINETS:

BASSOONS:

HORNS:

(another solo?! you shouldn’t have…)

TRUMPETS:

TROMBONES:

TUBA:

TIMPANI:

OTHER PERCUSSION:

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Say what you will about minimalism, but Philip Glass rocks my socks off.

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(via GIPHY)

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Bet nobody’s hidden a fortune in gold inside a sousaphone

on the topic of fantastic band camp stories: a frog jumped into one of our sousaphones and never came out. as far as we know it's still in there, but dead now

pro of being in orchestra: animals (probably) won’t die inside of your instrument