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I don't want anybody going into debt for it, but if my funeral has the budget for it, I would like to have a carved portrait on my tombstone depicting Death as some sort of reluctant animal control professional, wielding one of those stick-loop things instead of a scythe, and myself as some sort of a wretched medieval manuscript creature that has no intention to comply with the process of being removed from the premises.

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Call your man "rock bottom" the way so many losers consider hitting him up to be the absolute lowest point of their entire lives.

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i hope that someday there will be no more advertisements ever again

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Happy birthday to Lyudmila Pavlichenko (born July 12, 1916), Soviet sniper in World War II, with 309 confirmed kills.

A true role model for today.

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The treasures of the wild (berries) have no price, but they do not come without cost. The forest accepts no money, I paid for these berries with a pint of my own blood (the mosquitoes fucking got me).

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It’s so infuriating that teen smoking rates were at an all time low in the US and we were on track to basically eradicate smoking and nicotine addiction in teens like it was flat out uncool to smoke and then They came out with nicotine injector flash drives that light up and taste like cotton candy. And have lead in them.

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still cant even drive past mine

Waking up with a smile, because no matter what happens, I will never be back in high school. Life is great.

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Made a little something on slur reclamation.

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this might sound stupid but I can’t help but believe that the new wave of “birth control is actually horrible for your body, you need to get off it immediately” misinformation from influencers and the ‘natural cycle tracking’ apps suddenly being advertised is a sneaky underhanded way of causing more unplanned pregnancies that people now cannot abort. now is possibly the worst time ever to turn towards ‘natural family planning’

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"you attract what you fear"

AHHHHHH A RICH BENEFACTOR WHO WILL FUND ALL MY WEIRD CREATIVE ENDEAVOURS NOOOOOO STAY AWAYYYY

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cure of ra

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"I'm just a swirl" -ice cream cone who uses TikTok

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hate when I'm trying to just take a normal drink but it turns out I'm thirstier than I thought so I end up gulping it down like a goddamn cartoon characer. the indignity of water lust.

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It will get cold again eventually. The summer will not last forever. I’m not doomed to live in this unbearable heat for all eternity. <- said while gripping the countertop so hard that the tile is starting to crack