it-your-lusus-pickup-the-phone - Tumblr blog

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a gift for a fellow

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Headcannon that one of the reasons Eridan and Fef are so short is that like some sea creatures they slowly grow over time. So by the time Eridan dies he is 9 feet while Fef is 6feet. Fef will eventually be 12feet+ reason why nobody realizes this is cause nobody in their ancestry has lived long enough

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This actually makes sense!

A lot of ace people confuse platonic feelings for romantic cause they can’t tell what romantic feelings are actually supposed to feel like so they confuse intense friendship for romantic, and will explain why he was so weird about it with everyone

Eridan is 100% asexual. that man is literally a walking ace flag, like, dude just fucking come out already, your closet is made out of glass

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When people forget that Bruce travelled the world for over half a decade. Some comics even say 12 years he was gone for.

This is why the “Bruce is incompetent at this small task that most people know” pisses me off. Like he literally lived on his own. Cooked for himself. Drove himself and most likely filled his own gas tank

“He doesn’t know the price of cereal” how the fuck do people think he ate while away? 🤣 Alfred wasn’t with him. He took care of himself

Jersey Gotham

Okay as someone born and raised in Jersey, I feel like we as a fandom are missing out on truly Jersey-ified Gotham. Like, c’mon, Jersey Girl Brucie Wayne??? So here I am to present a list of things I need more of because god damn it make Batfam— mostly Bruce, Jason, Tim, Steph, and Duke— Jersey (all based on my own personal experiences/real things that have happened to me):

Bruce cannot pump his own gas. He just. Doesn’t know how to. It’s not like a rich person thing, he just never learned cause he’s from fucking Jersey and never leaves Gotham. Jason didn’t know how and Talía lost her shit “How??? You are child superhero??? Who died and spontaneously came back??? But you can’t pump gas??” Tim kinda knows cause of Titans but again, he never really had to. (There’s a Twitter threaded dedicated to the Wayne family titled “is this rich or Jersey”). Steph and Duke can but they both pretend not too.

There have been fist fights over whether it’s pork roll or taylor ham. Jason and Bruce are very adamantly pork roll like the good Southern Jersey boys they are— it’s the one thing they can agree in most days— but Tim is taylor ham. Steph and Duke, despite being South Jersey, like to cause chaos and flip sides constantly. Dick, Damian, and Cass couldn’t care less.

The Absolute Hatred of New York/NYC. Doesn’t matter which kid it is, Bruce (and Alfred) got them all on board with this. Don’t even get them started on the Statue of Liberty; it’s a Wayne family tradition to try and buy it from NY because technically it’s more in NJ than NY and it’s closer too. They’ve yet to be successful but Bruce has hope for when it’s Damian’s turn.

And bc of this hatred of NYC comes the support of Philly!! None of them are super big sport fans, but they do cheer for Eagles, 76ers, and Union. Bruce, thanks to Alfred, is a big fan of soccer (“it’s football, master Bruce, I didn’t raise you in a barn”), and is a member of the Sons of Ben. He can be found in the River End of the stadium with Jason cheering for Union at pretty much every home game. There are multiple videos of Brucie Wayne and Jason Wayne screaming at refs, launching fireworks off the roof, and cursing out opposing teams’ players. Duke and Tim can be found 76ers games, while Steph frequents Eagles games.

Accents. Pls for the love of god give those boys (and Steph) accents. They are from New Fucking Jersey. They say “cawfee” and “tawlk.” They pronounce 0% of their t’s in the middle of words— kitten is ki’en, Trenton is tren’in. Jason and Steph drop letters when they gets pissed, Bruce slurs words, Duke and Tim drop passive-aggressive “y’all’s” to piss people off.

Driving. Now it’s not that they’re shit drivers, it’s that everyone else is a shit driver, and it’s not helped that majority of them learned to drive in the Batmobile. Steph has a loudspeaker on her car and frequently yells “fucking Pennsylvania turn your goddamn blinker on!” while driving. Bruce has a room in the manor dedicated to his speeding tickets. Tim as gotten into multiple fists fights at lights because people were driving slow in the fast lane. Jason is infamous for doing the Jersey Slide.

Jason, Tim, and Steph have gotten mugged before. They talked their way out of it and gave tips to the mugger. Bruce has kicked a rabid raccoon while walking home before because what else was he supposed to do? Duke has ordered a “pork roll egg and cheese on an everything” before in Not-Jersey and cried because they don’t have it. Several foreign benefactors of WE have asked for translators at meetings with Brucie cause Brucie’s accent is so thick and exaggerated. IN CONCLUSION: making Batfam (and gotham) Jersey is funny as hell and presents so many good opportunities. Make Batfam Jersey! (again these are all just my personal experiences, big state yada yada, different experiences, blah blah idgaf I jsut need batfam fist fighting over pork roll)

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The last Orphaner

This holds my scar head cannon for him

My theory behind his hatred is that it’s easier to hate then to acknowledge the pain and torment he’s been through. He wasn’t always strong and fast and agile. And even when he wasn’t. There’s always. Someone. Or something stronger.

I also theorize that the reason he and Feferi drifted was because he refused to mention he was hurt. His gills damaged, can no longer swim either and clung to feeling flush to her cause he was scared of losing her

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I’m going by canon events (I do like a ace Headcannon but that’s all that is)

I’m sorry but. How many posts have I seen that say “we cannot ignore the ones where Bruce hits the kids. We have to acknowledge that and make sure it’s part of his characterization”

I find it so strange that people are willing to ignore older comics for Talia but not Bruce. I’ve heard all the arguments “they’ve changed her characterization cause the previous one was racist” and I don’t doubt that.

But it’s a double standard. We can ignore Talia but Bruce. Written by toxic men spreading a toxic storyline saying a hero like Bruce would hit kids despite the fact he started this so no kid would go through what he went through.

Also part of modern Talia does pull that. She rapes Bruce in one of the animated movies and it’s completely brushed off. I can’t remember which animation. Dude has a hundred. But came out last ten years.

And wanna know something? It was in 2010 the comic where she raped Jason. And the sad thing is if he was a girl people would care. He was a traumatized 17y not even fully in control of his own mind and people are excusing it and calling it a relationship.

There’s a pole out there and people in the comments are like “she’s 27 it’s fine” 1. She’s not 27! She’s way older. 2. No one over 20 should be attracted to a 17. That’s still a minor.

Bruce, to Talia about Jason: … my son—

Talia, interrupting: our son.

Bruce: …

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…..uh she canonically “had sex” with Jason. In quotes cause he was a minor and not in a right mind

Bruce, to Talia about Jason: … my son—

Talia, interrupting: our son.

Bruce: …

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I agree with this to a extent but the phrasing kind feels like it’s trying to downplay/minimize Bruce’s trauma

Also he almost died as a kid. Part of his trauma that’s never spoken about for some reason is he fell down the well and I know some might not feel like it’s a big deal but he could have died and probably thought he was gonna.

No money in the world could fix what he went through and the severe trauma made him relive it every day for the rest of his life. Playing on repeat in his head. He didn’t get therapy or help and even tried to kill himself as a child. Watching his parents get murdered was a extreme trauma and if almost sounds like your brushing it off like “eh it wasn’t that bad” when it was.

Also I think Bruce understands more then you think. He technically didn’t need to be a vigilante. He needed therapy but was to broken to do anything else and It didn’t take back his parents death. And honestly I think Jason being one makes more sense. He saw the crimes up close daily. He knows what it does to people and their family’s. Being a vigilante means stopping that from happening to other people

One thing about Jason that Bruce never understood, never could understand, is how the way Jason grew up affected him.

Bruce saw his parents' murder and while that's horrible, he only was forced to experienc that one horrible thing. Aside from that, Bruce never wanted for anything! He always had money and food and clothes and everything he could ever need!

But Jason grew up seeing the absolute worst of the world every single day. He never needed to be a vigilante! He needed to be shown love! He's already seen and experienced violence! More violence wasn't going to help him! And being a kid from crime alley, of course he was violent with cops and criminals! He's seen the very worst of them his entire life! And he'd never been able to do anything!

And Bruce just... Doesn't get it.

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He wouldn’t be a flat earther. He is huge on science and environment and the effects of pollution in the ocean. He’s just the type to set up bombs

Let's be real here, Eridan would be a flat earther, Eridan would be the guy who believes in the global zionist movement. Eridan is a fucking dumbass and a historical revisionist. Which is also why it works well black too.

Really? I mean, it would be kind of funny and ironic that the guy who would support Troll Hitler would believe in the Jews.

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How is it late night office breeding session is one of the hottest things I’ve read in awhile

And that's a wrap! Thank you to all the lovely creators who made this Weasley Fest possible, and for creating all the amazing content we've seen over the past three weeks. It would not have been possible without you, and I am so deeply thankful that we were all able to come together and celebrate our favorite redheads! Below you will find a list of all the weeks for this fest.

Art

Charlie & Norbert(a) by @the-al-chemist Chaser Ginny commissioned by @liiilyevans and drawn by guine_evere

Fic

'What's Wild?' by @astridastrolabe (ft. Ron, Fred, and George) Where's that Gryffindor Courage? by @nena-96 (ft. Ron and Percy) Invisible String by @liiilyevans (ft. Bill) Silence by @hinnyweasley (ft. Ginny and Ron) Not Just a River in Egypt by @ginisbetterthanfirewhisky (ft. Ron and Ginny) Regrets by Imera (ft. Percy and Arthur) Almost Over by @nena-96 (ft. Bill and Ron) Best Brother by @fizzyginfizz (ft. Bill, Charlie, and Ginny) Deep by @drarryandotherdisasters (ft. Ron) Late Night Office Breeding Session by Imera (ft. Arthur) first steps by @harryissuchalittleshit (ft. Percy and Ginny) Forever the Sidekick by @ala-baguette (ft. Ron and Ginny) Fade In/Fade Out by @four2andnew (ft. Bill and Arthur) How the Locket Affected Ron by @nena-96 (ft. Ron) Letters to Charlie by @liiilyevans (ft. the Weasley fam) Seven of Seven by @harryissuchalittleshit (ft. the Weasley fam)

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Why do I feel like I want to go by he/him? I saw this and though. Man I want to top him

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- Bruce throwing the batarang. Missing and it bouncing off the wall and hitting Jason in the throat ACCIDENTALLY. Mr. No Kill would never do that on purpose*

Fixed it since the way you wrote it makes it sound like he did it on purpose. And I know fans like to decide for them selves he was aiming to kill Jason cause they just want another reason to be pissy. But it was not on purpose. It was a fucking accident. Bruce already feels bad enough. If this was real life and people kept CONSTANTLY bringing it up I wouldn’t be surprised if he killed himself. I found a fanfiction like that. Where none of the kids would stop bringing it up. Constantly. And he killed himself in the fanfic and Jason’s like “maybe we took it a tad to far”

If you want another angst one. The fact Bruce has been low key suicidal since his parents death (and has in cannon tried to kill himself)

Some of My Favorite Batfam Fic Tropes

In no particular order:

 - The batfam have their own language of chirps, trills, tweets, and whistles, and they use it in front of other ppl (civilians, the jla, whatever) and the other ppl go “what the actual fuck”

 - Bruce throwing the batarang at Jason Todd’s neck actually Does Damage™, and eventually the other members of the family find out and lose their shit

 - “Hey Tim?” “Yeah?” “Where’s your fucking spleen :)” “Lost it.” “LOST IT??”

 - Damian calling his brothers Akhi :)

 - “How many kids do you HAVE??” -The entire Justice League

 - Jason going to Titans Tower, seeing Tim, saying “is anyone gonna parent that” and then not waiting for an answer.

 - Literal Toddler Tim Drake informing the Batfamily that yes he knows everyone’s identity, and really if you didn’t want people to figure it out you should stop showing off your extremely niche skills during patrols Nightwing.

 - “Dude your son is a crime boss.” “Ex-crime boss :/”

 - A Batfamily member hearing someone talk about their civilian identity (bc, yknow,, they’re famous) and just having to Deal With It because what the fuck else are they supposed to do??

 - The Justice League hearing about Batman and assuming he (& his family) are demons or vampires or some other cryptid, and then meeting him and finding out he’s just Some Guy.

 - The batfamily learning the origin of the name Robin

- The Justice League meeting the Batfamily and specifically learning who Red Hood is, and one of the heroes nervously asks “Didn’t the second Robin.. die?” and Jason just goes “yeah lol”

Edit // If ur seeing this original post by itself, I already posted a fic rec list related to these tropes :)

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Would like to add he leaves people alone when they want him to.

Doesn’t harass Feferi like fandom thinks.

Only really when trying to convince her to leave and says she can bring Sollux.

Actually had a reason to leave. He thought Karkat snapped.

Filled with Sollux and won. Feferi attacked him for winning. So him hurting them was halfway warranted not senseless violence.

Went grimdark and basically lost some sanity. Kanaya was the true victim in that.

He had cause to kill the angels. They were whispering to him constantly telling him stuff. They served the lord of angels. He assumed it was Jack. He thought Killing them would help.

Also he spent basically a month alone with those things and no one else. Any adult would go mad from that. None of his “friends” visited.

He wasn’t some sex craved guy. He was a terrified child who was afraid of being alone.

Feferi wasn’t this faultless goddess like some treat her. She had a right to break up with him. But she used him and that’s not okay. She had him hunt for her lusus which was supposed to be her job. And the moment that wasn’t needed she dumped him.

He wasn’t a attention whore which was a common misconception

His hair wasn’t dyed. He was actually hatched like that. We see it on baby him. Which makes him a mutant. Also even if it was dyed it’s not a negative thing like a like of people act like it is.

He was great friends with Karkat. They would have been fantastic moirails but both in a way felt trapped in the one they had

commission i did for @aleemie

3 slots left!

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commission i did for @aleemie

3 slots left!

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I’m doing a scar map for Eridan. My HC of his scars from his childhood. Now would troll scars have a hint of their blood colour? Yeh? Or neh?