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I have been possessed by a stronger than average craving for tinkering with Jonathan Harker's genders (Jonders). Jonathan Harker is undeniably and forever my favorite gothic heroine. But, being that there is so much to chew on regarding his potential fluidity when it comes to gender roles within the story--the classic damsel, the willingly submissive half of the couple, the vengeful berserker, etc--it's got me thinking.

Let's take the metaphor out. What would happen to the Dracula narrative if Jonathan Harker was...

First thing's first--she almost definitely gets shouldered out of the Important Solicitor's position due to reasons of Being Girl. But she still has to get to Transylvania to be menaced by Count Bat Bastard. How?

Hawkins! Johanna is working at the firm as a secretary and personal assistant to a still very paternally mushy old Peter Hawkins. When Dracula's request comes around, he can't give up such a lucrative client over his gout and there's no one he trusts to pass it to. He has to go. And it'd only be right to treat his surrogate daughter to a paid scenic vacation have his aide along on the business trip. Especially when she hunted down Carfax Abbey herself! What a lovely outing they'll have.

...or not.

True to form, Count Dracula is very much not to be trusted around pretty young things of any kind. Considering his canon habits, things aren't about to go any easier for Miss Harker. But at least she has Hawkins watching out for her in-person! It all makes for some very tense talk when discussing anything other than the estate purchase; which Hawkins seems as keen to rush as Dracula is to dawdle over. But at least they'll be out of here soon. What's a couple of awkward nights, right?

One in particular has Johanna nervous as she goes to bed. Hawkins had taken Dracula aside with a hard smile, insisting there was a 'delicate matter' he wished to speak with the Count about. The last time a 'delicate matter' was brought up was when he nearly lobbed a typewriter at one of his ex-solicitor's heads for some distinctly unseemly behavior in her direction. She hopes there isn't a storm brewing under their host's roof. She hopes harder that tomorrow they'll be heading back to the Borgo Pass.

Instead:

Oh.

Oh no.

Between this and one requisite nightmare-week in which the joys of womanhood come and go--let's leave it unspoken whether her set of bloodstained cloths stay in her possession or not--Johanna gets put through the wringer. Per usual. But eventually..!

Yeah. No shock there. Deep calming breaths, Jack. Don't let the wonderful diary concuss you.

Part of being one of two (gasp) G I R L S in the Scooby Gang, Van Helsing and company vote Johanna and Mina out of the dirt hunt. Except. Well. Johanna is still necessary to have on the ground here. She's the only one with the location intel--and a surprise willed gift of inheritance and the firm from poor Hawkins, who the Transylvanian locals all vouch for as being 'slain by wolves,' leaving Johanna free of blame--so she's still running around for the crew.

Even so, odds are high that she initially gets sidelined with Mina. Which isn't overly awful. It is good to be side-by-side in this timeline! No needless sequestering from each other! Johanna is already planning to see Mina back to their new house before they have to sleep another night in an asylum.

And then comes the 3rd of October.

Van Helsing: "Madam Harker, is it not somewhat attention-catching to wear trousers in public? We are meant to be unremarkable while we wait on th--"

Johanna, has already smoked through two cigars, kukri in her lap, playing a game of chicken with God: "Do you think I scaled a mountain in three layers of skirts, Professor? No? Then I will not do the same if the rancid bastard tries to escape out the window."

Van Helsing, aside: "Friend John, can you speak sense to her?"

Jack, melting off the side of the bench: "I think I hauve consumption"

Anyway. She very much does get to the Dracula head chopping. And there will be much rejoicing. BUT all that grimdarkness aside, there are other, more hijinks-flavored opportunities to think of with this particular set up. If only because I genuinely believe that Lucy and Art, having two spare best friends on hand and a general vibe that radiates 'ooooh what if triple wedding???', would come up with the following master plan. Some truly Shakespearean folly kind of shit:

Thankfully, Johanna and Mina nix the idea pretty quick. Case in point:

And, last but not least, my final word on the range of Jonders that exist within my very best gothic heroine friend:

ha ha I do that

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my thoughts on the Name Discourse

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Edgeworth is very ill y’all

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Left right, left right

(via)

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I'm losing my mind over newborn hedgehogs fucking look at them they're so creature

what the fuck. who allowed this

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I could watch this for hours 🐈🐈

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I mean...this combination of depth and toilet humor is literally Shakespearean, so A+ for Eoin Colfer.

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i think the reason why people hate characters like basira and melanie is not because of sexism but because they were so rarely called out for being wrong or treating other characters like shit.

like yeah, some of the male characters were shitty and annoying too. but the narrative doesn't deny that. tim was an annoying jerk in s2 and he was called out by martin for it. jon was.. practically called out by everyone, even when something wasn't his fault. he was basically the scapegoat. martin's manipulative and sometimes possessive nature was highlighted a few times. everyone hated elias and he got the punishment he deserved.

in short, the male characters were held accountable for their actions while some of the female characters weren't. keyword being "some". daisy was, for example, and that's why she's one of my favorite characters. the narrative actually acknowledges that she was a corrupted and aggressive person, but we also see her trying to be better.

but with melanie and basira specifically, they usually had the last word to any argument. jon did call out basira in s5 regarding her turning a blind eye to daisy's crimes, and that was satisfying, but it was the only time jon was actually assertive about something. and melanie's aggressive behavior doesn't get called out at all, she just gets away with it.

yes, these are all complex characters who are suffering and enduring tough situations. but it feels unfair when some of them are held responsible for their shitty behavior, while others aren't.

you have to stick to one.

either all these characters were controlled by their fears and therefore aren't responsible for their actions, or they were all independent to some extent and deserve to be blamed. you can't use the “they were controlled by their respective entity!” or “they were going through a difficult situation!” excuse for only a few characters.

.

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my concept for an avatar of the lonely. operates entirely through social media by making incredibly flimsy callout posts that compels everyone into completely isolating the victim

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TMA AU where after his coma Jon can see tons of new colors and he's like "Oh my lord I can see so many new colors, this is proof I'm a monster, I'm like a fucking mantis shrimp". So then in the safe house era he admits this to Martin who's amazed and asks him what colors had changed. Queue Martin is fighting for his life not to lose his shit laughing when Jon looks back at him because how is he meant to explain that no, he's not a monster with the cool ability to see a bunch of new colors, the beholding just took away the color blindless he apparently had

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Good morning! I’m in a nice frothy rage so!

Everyone was being hypocritical about Jon becoming a ‘monster’ :)

It doesn’t help that, unlike him, Melanie and Martin’s abilities were seen as useful and without cost :)

But the fact everyone decided THEY, and Daisy, were still ‘human’ enough to be cared for :)

Is supremely hypocritical :)

This isn’t up for debate :)

Fuck you.

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There was some curiosity about the comic I made so I decided to expand on this some more as a crossover au. More art under the cut

So Wander isn't in the Theraprism by accident. I mean, the people who work there are under the impression that he's responsible for the destruction of at least one galaxy, being a wanted man in a whole lot of them and seen everywhere, especially on planets that end up destroyed. Wander does nothing to directly refute this fact, because he knows why he's there. The axolotl, knowing that the Theraprism has this view of Wander, decides to bring him over and tell him the situation.

The Theraprism is a place bursting with the worst of the worst villains all in need of redemption. It's exactly the kind of place that needs a Wander, and he's more than happy to oblige. The plus is, since it exists outside of time, he could spend millennia there without missing a second with his friends out in the rest of the universe.

He gets to Theraprism and as he is wont to do, finds the worst of the worst of the worst and latches onto him as his 'new best friend'. And obviously, that's Bill.

Most of the villains Wander focuses on only realize what he's actually doing maybe halfway through, but Bill knows a lot of things. He's heard about Wander and has even gotten a glimpse of him throughout the universe through his all-seeing eyes. He knows this guy's M.O. and if this stinky little hillbilly thinks he's going to make an impact on THE Bill like he's done with all those other mushy losers all across the universe, he's got ANOTHER THING COMING.

(Then again, that's what they all say)

There are a lot of fun things to do with this AU, especially since these two do actually have some similarities, though because of Wander's mysterious existence, and origins, and age, and magical properties, some of it has to be speculation.

Patients are sometimes allowed to keep one or two personal effects if their removal would have drastic consequences for their mental health. Bill was personally checked in by The Axolotl and his hat is far too small to contain anything important, so it's fine. Wander's hat was checked and there was absolutely nothing in it, so that's fine as well. Two normal hats, nothing weird going on.

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Trauma!

Emotional whiplash :D

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yeesh. touchy subject

hey have you guys noticed that in dreamscaperers, bill has to squint and get really close to the memory to be able to read the numbers. i have. heres a low-effort comic about that

(edit: theres more to this comic now! you can find follow-up doodles here and here!)

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from the same six hour drawing session where i devolved into hyperfixation-based madness

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stars burn up and die too