isabellemaddoxsblog

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I think it's the ALMOST canon ships that get the best, most intricately woven, beautifully told fanfiction.

those nearly-kind-of-almost-maybe-could-be canon couples

the ones that make it almost painful to live with the knowledge that if just one or two things had happened differently, just one or two things: if one of them had said something differently here, done something differently there, or if certain events had shifted a little, just a fraction, they'd have been together - undoubtedly.

you can see it. everyone can see it. but it's not enough - they're still an almost-but-not-quite, maybe-but-it-was-never-confirmed, kind-of-but-annoyingly-ambiguous

fanfiction writers take their potential and they hold it close and they lovingly craft something amazing and beautiful with it - finally giving them the chance to be together like everyone knows they would be in-canon if the story wasn't against them

they spring out entire novels from canon-divergence in the places where just a little step in another direction could have led to them being together

they build whole intricate Alternate Universes where the characters are able to meet in an entirely different way and still fall for each other

what I'm saying is that the insanity of a ship where it was almost-canon drives writers to a specific kind of creative madness that produces the best fanfiction....

so if you check out my graph here you can see the line for the more almost it gets vs the more unhinged and motivated it makes the writers both rising in a wonderfully clear diagonal line and today I will be discussing the

[isabellemaddoxsblog]

Losing my mind over this review of aftg

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Pretend to care, but do not pretend to understand

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"Save me"

[isabellemaddoxsblog]

“In the last two years, I have become more self-confident and this has led me to be more free and open towards the world. I realised clothes are about having fun! No one will be able to say they don’t look good on you or that you chose wrongly.”

— Harry for Vogue Italia

[isabellemaddoxsblog]

It was funny at first, but then...

Here’s a concept: Ladybug and Chat Noir start to “accidentally” leak information about their personal lives to the press, but all the information is completely made up in hopes of throwing everyone off their trail

Interviewer: What was it like being Ladybug for the first time? How long did it take for you to get used to your enhanced agility? Ladybug: It was a little jarring at first, but given that I’m a professional gymnast, I was a natural. 

Interviewer:  Have you ever had times where you were too busy or not around during an Akuma attack? What did you do? Chat Noir: Of course. Funny story, once I was so sick and bedridden that my twin brother had to fill in for me for the whole week! And nobody noticed…

Interviewer:  Ladybug, you really are something special. Ladybug: My wife always tells me that!

Interviewer:  Is it hard keeping your secret identity from loved ones? Chat Noir: Of course. Nobody knows my identity, not even my family… and my dad and I tell each other everything!

[isabellemaddoxsblog]

Nice story

Talked to my brother yesterday about the girl I like. He's the only one in my family that knows I'm not straight. Felt really loved.

I feel so confortable around him and I know I can trust him. I just hope he feels the same way about me.

I love him so much.

[isabellemaddoxsblog]

Changing my username cause my brother found my blog. Oops

[isabellemaddoxsblog]

#comingoutgonewrong

Tried to come out to a friend today by talking about this girl I have a crush On and How beautiful, smart and wonderful she is. And How she makes me feel nervous whenever I'm around her.

She now thinks I'm jealous of her and she makes me feel insecure about myself and gave me a speech about confidence.

I'll try again later...

[isabellemaddoxsblog]

I can’t stand him touching me I can’t stand him looking at me I can’t even stand being in the same room as him.

I despise him Even more, I hate him.

I wish he didn’t exist anymore. I wouldn’t hate coming home anymore I would feel safe in my own house again I would be so happy if he suddenly died

I wish he was dead. I wish I had the nerve to kill him

I have tought of it many, many times. I have dreamt of my hands around his neck Him struggling. Kicking. Desperate to live. The fear in his eyes. The disbelief. He never would have tought that someone like me would fight back.

Watching life fading away from his eyes Me, no shredding a single tear for this monster. That ruined my life.

I’m not scared of him, not anymore. I’m angry at him. Like I said, I hate him.

Someday, I may not be able to resist the impulse. I may enter his room. Determination lighting up my eyes. Anger. Hate in my heart. I may put my hands around his neck. And within a few minutes, All my problems would be gone.

[isabellemaddoxsblog]

“Sometimes you do”

Those three words hurt me more that I’ll ever admit I know it might look like nothing, Just three random words whispered in the night But there’s history behind them...

There are hundreds of looks people gave to me everytime I spoke Theres are years of self-hate everytime I said something “smart” There are thousands of “smart-ass” shoute

You didn’t know how much those words would hurt me But they did And I hated myself that night, that moment I hated the fact that you tought that way of me I hated the fact that it is not true, but you think it is.

You don’t know the real me But you will I will show you Who I really am

So next time someone says to me “you think you’re better than anyone else” You won’t say “sometimes you do”.

[isabellemaddoxsblog]

Will you bring me back to life?

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Movie Review: Call me by your name.

I absolutely loved the movie.

La película está ambientada en Italia, en la década de 1980.

El personaje principal es Elio, un joven de 17 años, conociéndose a sí mismo.  Elio es un joven atractivo, curioso como todos a su edad, intelectual, le gusta tocar el piano y la guitarra, transcribir música y leer muchos, muchos libros. Muy inteligente para su edad, pero inocente sobre “las cosas que importan”. Timothée Chalamet habla francés fluido, pero tuvo que aprender a hablar italiano y a tocar la guitarra. Me parece un fantástico actor, entregado y delicado a su trabajo. 

Oliver es un joven estadounidense de 24 años. Atractivo también. Muy inteligente, tímido aunque trata de aparentar lo contrario, encantador. La verdad no sé mucho sobre Armie Hammer, pero la química entre ambos personajes es innegable, lo que hace la película aún mejor. Ambos actores están seguros de su identidad, de quienes son, su intimidad se puede notar -después de filmar las escenas que filmaron, se encuentran se encuentran tan cómodos en la presencia del otro-, se admiran el uno al otro y evidentemente son grandes amigos.

Me encanta la forma en la que se desarrolla la película. Mis escenas favoritas son definitivamente cuando Elio le dice a Oliver “Is it better to speak or to die”: “Es mejor morir o hablar”, refiriéndose a una historia que ambos conocían. Oliver no dice nada, pero entendió lo que Elio le estaba diciendo sutilmente.  Luego de esto, deciden salir y llegan a un momento de la Batalla de Piave -mi otra escena favorita-; Elio le cuenta a Oliver sobre este monumento, y Oliver, asombrado le pregunta si hay algo que no sabe. Elio le contesta que sabe muy poco sobre las cosas que importan. “¿Que cosas que importan?” Pregunta Oliver. “Tú sabes qué cosas” Contesta Elio. Me encanta esa escena en particular por el diálogo, la forma en la que Elio confiesa lo que siente sin decirlo directamente, cómo Oliver le entiende a la perfección, cómo Elio sabía que Oliver le iba a entender. Esta escena fue filmada en una sola toma y eso hace que la pureza y genuinidad la hagan mejor. 

Otra cosa que me gustó es que muestran la timidez e inseguridad de Elio -es un adolescente, después de todo, que está conociendo su cuerpo y a sí mismo-. Vacilante en cada paso que toma, pero seguro cuando sabe lo que quiere, y lo que quiere es Oliver. 

Otro aspecto que me gustó fue la realidad del final: No se quedan juntos. Y sí, aún después de los años, se mantienen en contacto, pero no está la falsa, poco realista idea de que Elio se vaya a vivir con Oliver -a pesar de que sus padres lo aprobaran- y que este último fuera el guardián legal de Elio -como Harry y Louis- y que Oliver abandonara todo por quedarse con Elio, o cualquier otra idea poco posible que otras películas nos presentan.

En fin, calificación: 8.5/10

[isabellemaddoxsblog]

Pasé mucho tiempo sin saber quien realmente era yo. ¿Cómo es mi verdadero yo? No la persona que construyeron, que crearon. Yo, realmente.

Cuando me di cuenta que la persona que veían los demás no era yo realmente, destruí esa versión, y cree una yo misma; pero las bases eran muy débiles, poco definidas, así que para ellos fue muy fácil destruirla.

Y así pasé mucho tiempo así, rota, sin ideales, sin creencias, sin identidad, perdida en el mundo, sola, incomprendida, abandonada por aquellos que tanto amarme clamaban. 

Dejé de buscarme a mí misma, dejé de intentar construir esa persona que ellos tanto querían. Empecé a observar, a conocerme, a escucharme, a amarme.

Y así fue como logré la versión de mí que ahora conocen: Imperfecta, pero fuerte; aún luchando contra los prejuicios internos que le fueron impuestos por la sociedad; pero es mi verdadero yo, una que yo construí. Y tal vez a muchos no les parezca. Perdí muchas amistades en el camino, pero también cree otras, más sinceras, más genuinas, mejores. 

Ya no me avergüenzo de lo que pienso, de creer diferente, de no encajar en tu ideal perfecto que tenías sobre mí.

Ahora soy fuerte, ahora soy yo. Y soy feliz.

[isabellemaddoxsblog]

Mark the little mouse (Based on a tale I wrote a couple of years ago)

Once upon a time There was this little nice mouse His name was Mark And he wanted to fly

He seeked advice So he went to the butterfly “You just have to wait”, he said You will grow wings out.

But he was not a butterfly So he did not grow wings out He was so sad But he kept looking for advice

So then he went to the crow. “What can i do to fly?” he asked “Try moving your ears real fast” The crow replied

The little mouse tried But useless was all it was He kept looking for advice For he wanted to fly

He finally went to the owl The wisest bird of them all “Mice can’t fly” the owl said Mark didn’t care, he had faith

I”’m gonna show them all How worthy I really am I will Fly And i will shut their mouths”

So he went to a cliff And he threw himself down He started to move his ears real fast Hoping he would finally fly

As he was falling down He felt the wind in his face He was finally flying Or at least, that’s how it felt

But the Owl was right Mice can’t fly So Mark the little mouse Found his dead when he hit the ground

[isabellemaddoxsblog]

Dear Daddy:

You always said that I had to be careful who I gave my heart to That men could and would break my heart That some people only care about themselves and no one else That they would hurt me and could ruin my life.

So I was careful I always protected my heart from evil men “You’ll know when someone is no good for you” “You are smart” you said

The thing is There’s one man That showed what a heartbreak is like

He made me realize that love can be a bad thing too That just because someone loves you doesn’t mean they won’t hurt you.

That one man I wasn’t protecting my heart from Was the one who hurt me the most.

Maybe, daddy, one day you’ll learn That you can hurt someone with the things you say and do And the things you don’t, too

I’m sorry, daddy, that I’m not good enough, not smart enough. And even though you broke my heart I want you to know that I love you

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#TreatPeopleWithKindness

Sometimes I forget “people” includes me too