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the way my whole brain changes so fast as soon as something goes slightly wrong
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i just have way too much stuff and it stresses me out but i have connections to things or just like them idk life is so hard
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i never post anymore.
i’ve got a ho and we spend time together but i still love my ex (because he’s the love of my life)
my ex is probably moved on, or pretending, or idfk. i think he fr did because im not important enough to pretend over.
i’m just so pissed because he stole my style and humor and music taste and now he thinks he’s so fucking cool but if he never met me he’d still be the same fucking loser. i hate him because of that. but ill always love him. i wish i didnt
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lowkey havent wanted to cut myself this bad in a while (at least 1.5 days)
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my mom might not be the best but i’m lucky to have ended up with her
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I LOVE SHAMELESS!!!!!!
TREVOR JSUT GOR INTRODUCED OMGGGG HES SO CUTE AJF HIK AJDNIAN THEYRE SO CURE… I KNOW SMTH IS GONNA GO TERRIBLY WRONG BC IT ALWAYS DOES BUT GOOD GOD…
I LOVE SHAMELESS… i could talk for so long…
i feel kinda bad for debbie bc i can imagine how hard it is being a teen mom. but also it was her choice… but the way debbie is treating her isn’t really fair. but also it is… debbie also fucking raped matty… and like bad people deserve bad things, but i do have empathy for a teen mom having a hard time and no support. idk. i wish i could just think things and they just appeared written down. i need magic powers.
fiona putting her ‘responsibility’ onto lip isn’t fair either. he didn’t ask to be in charge of the family but neither did fiona. it’s just a. bad situation.
i’m on early season 7, frank disowned all his kids except liam. it’s so sad seeing in real time tho how he’s letting liam down. he let the others all down too obviously but you’re watching it with liam and that’s so sad. i guess i don’t feel like typing more
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“you’re in love” by taylor swift.
yes i am but he don’t want me!!!! dont gotta remind me
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i always end up feeling the same and i’ve always known i’d be better off dead. i’m just too scared to do anything. but i have to get over it someday
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there it is again the feeling of dread. i wish i was never born
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i love inside jokes and i mean yeah i like having inside jokes with people i know and like, but also i mean like memes, i guess. the way that i can look at a joke and get it just because of some shit i’ve seen is crazy. i love media literacy. life is crazy
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i met a boy online and we met irl yesterday. i’ve been completely honest about being in love with my ex and not being able to be in love with him because my heart is already taken but that won’t ever work out so here i am hoing. well the point is, we’re basically just friends who kiss i guess. but we hung out and it was so much fun :3 we hung out for like 8 hours and i almost fell asleep on his lap in the car. i had such a nice time:33
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my boyfriend breaking up with me and it being fr this time has brought me back to the realization that i, as a person, just am not deserving of love. the fact that i thought i found it is silly now, thinking about it. the fact i thought somebody could love me the way i actually am is crazy. it went mostly smooth at first because that was back when i was doing slightly better and because i was so much better at bottling myself up. but then we broke up and then i started being way more open and since then i just couldn’t stop. going to the psych ward kinda forced me to open up because my family knew about that. but the crazy thing is, my ex is the reason i ever went to the psych ward in the first place. i guess it’s my fault that i started being open with him and that’s technically the reason i got sent. well. idk. if my bf never snitched on me i wouldn’t have gone but the bottling up was already done with him. my point is, i should’ve just kept bottling up. if i just didn’t annoy him and drive him away then maybe he would still be here. it’s corny to say, but if he never knew the real me then maybe it would be the same way as it was 3 years ago. but i did show him the real me. and now he’s gone of course, because (back to my main point) i am not a person who is deserving of love. i will never again find someone who can even handle pretending to care about me for as long as he did, especially because im way worse and uglier and fatter now than i was 3 years ago. i just wish i never changed. and it’s kinda weird, because when i think back, yeah i do wanna go back to the time where my ex acted like he loved me and like he cared, but when i think about the moment i wish i could go back to, its when i was laying in the park looking at the stars with the boy who i lost my virginity to. it was a peaceful moment and it was before i realized all men that talk to me are going to be shitty. my ex and the one who took my virginity, both evil sluts. it always ends up that way. i’ve only had one who wasn’t and it was bc he didn’t even have the chance (lowk ugly :( ) but whatever. i’m better off dead and we all know it. i need someone to keep me company in the meantime while i get the guts to kill myself tho
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this came on while i was at the mall w my mom and i had a physical reaction
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my boyfriend broke up w me. i think it was yesterday but idk.
his brothers all kinda looked like him, yk cause that’s how genetics work, but his older brother had kids. his niece and nephew helped me imagine how mine and his kids would look. i just keep crying
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i guess if it’s something to keep me from trying to kill myself, i have two cats that would probably have nowhere to go if i did die. one of them was an outside cat and all her siblings died so i saved her from that. but what if she feels like i do ? hopeless and suicidal. maybe she wishes she could’ve died out there instead of her siblings. i wish i died instead of those innocent kittens, too. but i’m glad my kitten didn’t die. i believe life deserves to be lived, just not mine. i don’t want to. i guess if you don’t want to you should have a choice. i just wish he loved me back.
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