irregular-child

[irregular-child]

This take has a lot of nuance but I don’t think you should have a baby with someone who doesn’t want to have a baby. I think that is extremely unethical. Not just for the baby’s other parent but for the child themself. And this happens so fucking often like every other week I see a post that’s like “I told my hookup of 2 months that I’m pregnant and he’s not happy but I want this baby! What do I do?” I would say cop the ‘borsh. It is not about you. Genuinely, it is not. Hopefully you are financially and emotionally prepared to be a single parent and even if you are you’re going to have to look your child in the eyes and say “Your father didn’t want you.” which is fucking awful.

And of course there are additional factors that can come into play in this situation like abortion availability and reproductive assault/coercion. But like. Generally speaking it is a terrible fucking idea to have a child with someone who doesn’t want it.

Also if you broke up with a guy because he is straight up evil or his family is unhinged, SPEED TO THAT ABORTION CLINIC. That is NOT a good situation to bring a child into.

[irregular-child]

Heterosexual relationship culture is so alien to me and I don’t know if it’s the fact I’m not cishet or the fact I’m autistic but I hear so many things that make me go “Am I insane or are they?”

There’s a lot of hate on widowers and I saw a woman say “You cannot compete with a dead woman.” which is perhaps a reasonable statement to say if he’s constantly comparing you to his dead partner but that wasn’t what the post was about. And I realized “Oh my God, these people genuinely feel like they’re constantly in competition with their spouse’s exes and the ex being dead makes them feel insecure that they cannot best her.”

There’s also been an uptick in the ‘men and women cannot be ‘just’ friends’ rhetoric which I feel like is extremely dangerous and reflects the rise of fascism and sexism. Some of these stories of women feeling threatened by their husband’s female best friend have some merit and others are like “I feel angry that my husband still talks to the girl he grew up next door to and she and her wife are invited to family gatherings and included in family photos sometimes. Am I right to be suspicious?” No. No you’re not. I cannot imagine being you and living with that high level of stress and paranoia and constant torment and jealousy about your husband having a positive relationship with anyone who isn’t you.

[irregular-child]

[irregular-child]

JL sets up a betting pool to see who can get Superman to say "fuck" first. Everybody gets so intense about this, but no matter what they do, they cannot get him to say anything worse than hell. Bruce is so tired of this, so at a meeting one day he just takes off his cowl and reveals his identity with zero build up or warning and Superman just lets out the loudest "What the fuck?"

[irregular-child]

Spirit Halloween is defrosting as we speak

[irregular-child]

Robin: Hey, did you know there's a rumour that you're gay?

Eddie: Rumour? RUMOUR? Excuse me, are you telling me people are doubting it?

[irregular-child]

[irregular-child]

A lot of people make fun of how “get divorced/breakup” is the go-to response for most r/RelationshipAdvice and r/AmITheAsshole? posts but if your relationship gets to the point where you feel like you can’t talk to anyone IRL and have to ask for advice and opinions online, there is something severely wrong. Sometimes the subjects say it themselves, “I can’t ask my friends and family about this because they already hate my partner and I don’t want to give them ammunition.” abusive relationships isolate the person at the center, make them feel like they constantly have to be on the defensive for their shitty partner. Which is why these people will post about their partner putting them in the most diabolical situation imaginable and then spend their entire afternoon defending them with their whole chest and replying to every comment. All you can do is reiterate “This is not normal behavior. Your partner is not a good person with a couple of flaws, they’re making your life worse. Breakup.” even as a neutral third party who doesn’t know either of these people in real life.

[irregular-child]

I want a fic where none of the JL believes that the batkids aren’t Batman’s biological children. There’s no way they can all be as creepy and broody and serious as him without being his offspring. It’s not possible.

And a select few being super adamant about it is how Batman finds out his kids are actually, in fact, his biological kids.

This leads to a full on, all out fight on the Watchtower. Every single batkid is shouting, arguing, yelling, screaming at Batman. Because it’s not true. It can’t be true. How the fuck did Batman not know this before the JL? Why are they finding out from a shitty presentation given by HAL JORDAN of all people?

It ends with Batman sprawled out in a chair, slumped so far down that his back is on the seat of the chair, his neck bent at a funny angle against the backrest, and he’s groaning.

“I regret being such a whore in my youth,” is all they can get out of him.

Tim, Jason, and Damian are all pretty easy to figure out how they’re his kids. He already knew about Damian of course, and Tim and Jason’s moms were both from Gotham it made sense.

It’s Dick who’s fully having a meltdown.

“WHEN DID YOU SLEEP WITH MY MOM? HOW DID YOU KNOW MY MOM? DID YOU MAKE HER CHEAT ON MY DAD? WHAT HAPPENED TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK?”

Bruce, whose head is spinning, vaguely remembers a very tipsy night he spent with a beautiful French acrobat. They’d both been 16, it was the summer. She said she was about to run away and join a different circus, she’d been perfecting her routines with the circus she was in with her parents, but they were stifling her creativity. This was her last night in Paris, and she wanted to spend it with the cute American boy who was there on vacation.

“WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY MOM?”

“I bought her fancy champagne and clapped when she showed me how bendy she was,” he groans.

Dick has a visceral, disgusted reaction. He flings himself back, Jason has to hold him up so he doesn’t fall, and then he launches himself back at Bruce to damn near strangle him.

“DON’T TALK ABOUT HER LIKE THAT!”

This is the worst day of Bruce’s life. Coincidentally, it’s the best day of Hal’s. He and Barry are eating popcorn.

[irregular-child]

[irregular-child]

I need an au where Batman doesn’t reveal his identity to the Justice League until after Nightwing joins. But it’s just Bruce who takes off the cowl, maybe during a meeting where Nightwing was busy with Blüdhaven or Titans things and couldn’t attend.

It had been after a huge family meeting. A series of family meetings, really, held in the Batcave. Because the batkids want everyone to know (several select friends on their respective teams already knew but were sworn to secrecy), and they were tired of wearing masks all the time (both figuratively and literally, especially during downtime team bonding sort of situations).

So Bruce Wayne is revealed to the Justice League. And the whole Batfamily relaxes, because Bruce has insisted, always insisted, that if one of them revealed their identities, the rest would follow like dominoes. It was so obvious, Bruce insisted. They didn’t work with complete morons, he said.

Then one day an abrupt meeting is called, they received urgent intel on a case they’d been tracking for months now. But Bruce and Dick had been at a charity event, so they decided to just show up in civvies since most others would no doubt be arriving in a similar fashion. It was an abrupt meeting, yes, but as of now there was no plan to immediately head out and act on the intel. Besides, they can always use the spare suits the keep on the Watchtower.

But then when they arrive in the meeting room (last, unfortunately, because they’d been held up by reporters), the whole room goes stiff.

“I know you told us your identity,” Green Lantern huffs, muttering and it’s still really weird under his breath, “but you can’t just bring your kid up to our headquarters!”

There are many murmurs of agreement, and Bruce scoffs while Dick lets out a snort of a laugh.

Bruce is so offended that:

Hal Jordan thinks he has any right to try and scold him

Hal Jordan is trying to tell him where he can and cannot bring his kids when Bruce funds damn near the entire Justice League out of his own pocket

And that Dick is now looking at him with the smuggest smirk he’s had on his face in years.

“So you were wrong,” Dick says in a sing-song voice. “What have you been telling me for YEARS now? You can’t tell your friends, Dick, it’s not just your secret! You said. You can’t tell anyone or else the whole family will be found out, Dick! You said. We don’t work with a bunch of complete morons, Dick! You said. Puh-lease.”

Dick is smirking at him, and Bruce covers his eyes with a palm, resisting the urge to groan.

“Don’t say it.”

“I’m gonna say it!”

“Don’t say it, Dick.”

“I told you so!” Dick says in his snottiest voice. “I told you so, I told you so, I told you so! Jay and Timmy both owe me two-hundred bucks! I’ve been telling you so since I was eight years old!”

“The Justice League didn’t even form until you were ten.”

“That’s beside the point!” Dick says flippantly, then skips over to the pair of chairs Batman and Nightwing usually sit in. He plops down in Nightwing’s usual seat, still smirking, and throws his feet up on the table while the gaggle of superheroes watches him with their eyes bugging out of their heads. “Nice to formally meet’cha, without the mask of course. I’m Dick Grayson, but you all know me as Nightwing.”

Bruce lets out the most exhausted sigh they’ve ever heard, and he sits down heavily in his usual seat.

“Please tell me Damian was not included in your little betting ring.”

“Oh of course he was. Jason and Tim both owe him a hundred dollars. I get double since I’m the one who got to prove you wrong.” Dick is already texting Damian to get the security footage as proof. They have to keep it separate so Tim can’t delete it.

“Wait a minute,” Flash says, “are all the Waynes vigilantes?”

Dick snorts, then giggles, then looks at the constipated look on Bruce’s face and giggles some more.

“It’s a family tradition!” Dick says. “Gotta train your pre-pubescent kids to follow after the Bat, after all.”

“That’s enough,” Bruce grunts, and it’s so jarring for them all to see him use Batman’s tone with Brucie’s face. “Don’t we have intel to discuss?”

“Right, right,” someone says, then clears their throat. “So our inside source got us these documents…”

The meeting continues as normal, but Dick looks over at Bruce after a couple minutes and wiggles his eyebrows. Bruce slaps him upside the head and tells him in a hushed whisper to pay attention.

“How did we not know that was his dad?” Hal whispers to Barry.

Barry just shrugs. Bruce glares at both of them, and they shut up instantly and turn back to whoever’s presenting. Dick is practically giddy.

[irregular-child]

Everybody needs that one friend who's better at piracy than you so you can ask for links to tv shows or perhaps movies and they just Have them. They're like genies. This is a priceless gift when unfamiliar links scare you when you try to google Watch free online yourself. Very literally it does not have a price. You aren't paying for it

[irregular-child]

funniest thing about dnd is that I made my character a failson specifically to make a rich guy suffer, but I keep rolling really high on important things, so everything has been working out for him really well, and his belief that rich people should never face any consequences just keeps getting reinforced again and again

[irregular-child]

Love fics where Batman’s identity is revealed as Bruce Wayne and the JL is just not connecting the dots.

But I need a fic specifically where the JL is in a situation where they have to lay low in a safe house or whatever for a few days while they figure out their next move and Bruce just takes off his cowl without explanation and somebody looks up to see BRUCE WAYNE in their secret hideout.

The entire JL: *tired from fighting and crashing in the nearest safe house to hide out in for the next few days while they figure out their next move*

Batman, putting a lot of thought into it: ‘well I don’t want to have to wear all my body armour and my cowl for the next few days, and I trust these people with my life, so I think I can safely take my mask off and reveal my identity’

Batman, without a word even though he should probably say a whole speech and explain why: *takes his cowl off and silently continues with his work in the corner of the room*

The ENTIRE JL: *doesn’t notice*

Someone, probably Hal Jordan: *looks up to see BRUCIE fucking WAYNE sitting in the shadows of their top secret hideout*

Hal:

Hal: WHAT THE FUCK

The JL: *freaking out because why is a civilian billionaire in the secret safe house and how did he get in without the worlds strongest and smartest heroes knowing?*

Also the JL: WHERE THE HELL IS BATMAN????

Bruce: *politely sitting in the corner, still working while he waits for someone to ask him a question instead of incoherently screaming at each other about him*

[irregular-child]

may be a hot take but i think the fact minors can access 18+ content by just clicking a button that says 'yes im totally over 18 trust me' is like. totally fine tbh. its a non-issue. i dont care if curious teenagers are looking at porn. they've been doing that for as long as porn has existed. id rather teens explore their sexuality through images on the internet than rush into real life experiences when they're not ready for it yknow. the UK is trying to put stricter age verification in place (which in turn is becoming an online privacy nightmare) and like. for what. who is it helping. why is this a problem.

[irregular-child]

TBH I don’t think it should be legal to deny your child healthcare based off your own religious belief. I’m sorry. Maybe not my most nuanced take. This isn’t even about Jehovah’s Witnesses and Christian Scientists and sects that do not believe in medical procedures. I am from a super religious area in the south and I have seen so many evangelicals use the “religious exemption” loophole to avoid vaccinating their children while still allowing them to attend youth activities or school. Like, I don’t recall any part of Baptist doctrine that supports that and furthermore your right to religion should not supersede your child’s right to not die of a preventable illness.

We’ve seen even more extreme cases with evangelical sects where children have been neglected to death during ‘exorcisms’ or faith healing attempts and these cases rarely make it to trial even though the parents (and often religious leaders) directly caused the death.

And I am absolutely not saying ‘snatch babies from their home due to their parents religious beliefs’ there was this epic ‘parents rights’ trial where two parents were trying to defend their right to deny their daughter with cancer healthcare and it ended with the state having medical power of attorney over the child and the parents still having physical custody. Which is probably the best call in many of these situations. Parents should not have a right to neglect their children to death.

[irregular-child]

Something that burns me alive every time I hear it is “If you don’t have kids, who will take care of you when you’re old?” A child is not a retirement plan. A child is not an advanced directive or a nursing home or a home health aid. A child is not a reliable caregiver you have to groom into shape for 40 years. Hell, you might be a caregiver to your child for the rest of your life. Even if they’re born healthy and happy, they could get hit by a car and have massive brain damage at any point in their life. Do not have a kid solely so you can depend on them. That is a fucking evil reason to have kids.