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irhdifartzamfyaa · 8 months ago

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this is one of the best jace smuts that i've read

All Mine

⭐️reposting this because it didn't show up in the tags

⭐️ Jace Herondale x Fem! Brightlaw Reader

⭐️masterlist | here are your warnings: 17+ + PiV + fluffy smut + marking and possessive-ness + birth control runes

⭐️book/movie Jace??? Idk. I imagine movie Jace as Jace when I'm reading, which I'm doing rn, I'm rereading city of bones. I'm going to post the next three chapters of EWW to my ao3 this weekend, and maybe I'll get a good update out! Like a real one. Thanks everyone for being patient and bearing with me being a totally emotional spaz

Jace's room was usually clean. The immaculate space could only be described as that of belonging to a monk or a pastor, or any man who lived in quiet humbility. Typically the place was spotless: routinely dusted and the hardwood floors always swept--perhaps that was a trait he had picked up from Mayrse...she was a rather strong advocate for the neat freak movement, so perhaps something about being raised by her in his later years of childhood had rubbed off.

His stack of piano music books, and a few other personal belongings, tended to be neatly set on his dresser, the one with the huge mirror (the same one he probably spent forty minutes gazing into every morning).

But now the room was trashed. It had everything to do with the way Jace had dragged you around it. He'd tossed you on every possible surface and possessed your body. Books spilled across the edge as your hands buckled to find something to grip onto as Jace hoisted his hips hard against yours, filling you up with this long cock.

By now, it had been hours, and you were both on the bed.

His thumbs pressed hard into the flesh of your ass as he guided your hips back and forth, shushing you as he grinned like a fallen Angel.

"You like this cock, baby?" Jace asked, his curly golden hair sticking to his forehead with sweat. The flushed features of his sharp cheekbones and the flickering golden hue fading in and out of his crisp blue eyes reminded you of his angelic heritage.

"Come on, angel, answer me," Jace hissed as he tipped your face up. His long fingers pressed beneath your chin, and his eyes glittered gold with brief hunger as he examined the splotchy marks he'd littered on your throat.

"I do like it," you stammered out, still trying to hump his hips as fast and hard as you could. His cock was angled just right so it rubbed the spongy spot inside of you. Your clit was erect and pounding with rushing blood, beating fast like another pulse in your body.

"I like it, I like it," you whined, sounding pathetic and not at all like a Shadowhunter. What would your parabatai say if they knew just how cockdumb you'd become, and for Jace Herondale of all people. He easily was the most arrogant of all Shadowhunters.

"Yeah, I know you like it," Jace chuckled as he stroked your cheek with the back of his hands, the cool metal of his family rings, both the Wayland and the Herondale sigils passing over your flushed face. The coldness of the rings eased the sweat as Jace maneuvered his thumb to tickle your clitoris just lightly. It made your vision blur and you couldn't help but cry out.

"You own this cock, don't you?" Jace purred as he lazed back, his voice deep with pleasure as you cried in rumbling ecstasy. Your body was trembling all over and Jace caught you as you pushed forward, slumping over as you gave up on using your own hips to hump his dick.

Jace wrapped his arms around you. He had gotten bulkier, more muscular, since the last battle in Alicante against Jonathan's army; he'd found temporary peace in his excercising with Alec, as well as his clear mind. Heavenly Fire flooded his veins, making the apples of his cheeks rosy with rush and fever.

You groaned into the crook of Jace's neck as he held you together. Without his arms you might very well fall apart; come completely undone as Jace split you in half, releasing your shadowy soul and laying it to rest in the City of Bones.

"Daughter of The Brightlaws" your slated tombstone would read. "Killed by a Herondale cock."

Well, it'd be an interesting sight.

Jace's hips and thighs smacked up as he leaned back into the headboard of the large, Institute bed. He cradled you in his arms and softly groaned as he fucked into you. Your teeth sank over the Star shaped mark on his shoulder as his skin wettly slapped into yours.

"Gotta suck something to keep quiet?" Jace chuckled as your lips suckled onto the mark. "That's fucking hot. That's right, suck. Like it's my cock, okay?"

Your lips cramped as tears dropped down your cheeks. Your upteenth orgasm was stirring inside of you, churning like cream into sugar. It was a sweeter feeling than any cake batter or cookie dough; a stronger and hotter feeling than any fine whiskey or vodka you'd ever tasted.

Jace hissed as your teeth nipped his collar bone. The skin was blotched red and purple and it stained the Star mark on his shoulder.

You shuddered violently as cum spilled outside of you. It was leaking down your thighs, coating Jace's pelvis; it was a salty mix of the both of you: it was the last of the Herondales and Brightlaws, and it was being wasted on sloppy, sloppy sex; what would the consul say? How would the Clave react if they knew your left shoulder blade was coated with a birth control rune, courtesy of Clary Fairchild.

The sound of Jace's cock plunging in and out through the sticky flood of semen was erotic on its own. It lubricated your pounding clit so that even the lightest touch made you flinch in the best of ways.

"Cum on it again, okay, Angel? I can't get enough of the feeling. Aw, baby, don't cry," Jace chuckled as he used a thumb to wipe away the tears that settled on your cheeks. "I'm going to take such good care of you. Don't you know how much I love you?"

The creaking of the bed crescendoed into a slamming against the walls. No doubt the other residents were hearing all of this, and no doubt would they guffaw and joke about it during breakfast the next day.

"I love you," Jace said, his voice breathless as he held your hips down firmly. His cock was twitching and pounding as it hammered inside of you. His thighs were thick and full with muscle as they flexed to keep himself from collapsing into the mattress. His entire body burned with tire but he couldn't stop. He needed one more, one more burst of ecstasy with you. "I will love you until I die. And if there's a life after that? I'll love you then. Can't let my Angel be all alone...need to keep her company."

Your jaw went slack as drool dripped from your lips, sticking to the Herondale star as you emitted mindless sounds into his golden skin. "I love you, Jace," you said between hiccuping moans.

"And my cock?"

You couldn't help but laugh between the thrusts. "Even your cock, baby."

Jace firmly smacked you on the ass as he made a little noise of praise. "That's right. You love it. You love it, you own it; you milk it so good. Your wet pussy hugs me just right. Raziel made you for me."

His blue eyes flared with golden flame; the heavenly fire was forcing its way out of hiding, making his hands warm as the groped across your body. "You're all mine."

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irhdifartzamfyaa · 8 months ago

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𝑗𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑠𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑖𝑛 𝑓𝑖𝑐 𝑟𝑒𝑐𝑠 𝑖𝑖𝑖.

annoyed

not just pals

by @thewulf

the one i want by @seresinhangmanjake

good in bed by @honkytonk-hangman

cowboy up by @allbark-no-bite

love grows (where the mustache goes) by @aemondvelaryon

you've got the real thing right here by @birdy-bat-writes

LIEUTENANT SMITTEN by @maiiiwrites

the hangman special

heat to boil

by @hangmanssunnies

pinky promise by @lostdreamr-blog1

infirmation by @roosteraloha

kiss me more by @witchwyfe

what you do to me by @youvebeenlivingfictional

so it goes by @purelyfiction

before bed by @punishereditz

not you again by @scandinavianfairytale

it comes with perks by @frost-queen

twenty-five going on forty-seven by @sehnsuchts-trunken

fast like rain by @mothdruid

urban cowboy by @bradshawssugarbaby

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irhdifartzamfyaa · 8 months ago

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YOU ARE A GENIUS @destinymoore05 !!

The crossover ship-

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irhdifartzamfyaa · 8 months ago

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THIS WAS SO GOOODDDD

Until The Flowers Wilt

Matthew Fairchild x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2.7k

Warnings: none. allusions to sex.

Summary: Y/N and Matthew have been friends for years. Everyone can see what the two feel for each other - everyone except Y/N and Matthew it seems.

Shadowhunter Chronicles Masterlist

•••

“Math,” James said as he watched his parabatai stare out of the window once again. “She’s going to be here soon, you don’t need to keep watch.”

Matthew’s gaze lingered out of the window for a moment longer before he turned to face James. “I’m not keeping watch.”

“Your face is practically glued to the window,” James pointed out. “She’s not meant to be here for another hour.”

“But what is she comes early?” Matthew scoffed. “She’ll be locked out in the cold.”

“I’m sure she will knock on the door,” James said, rolling his eyes.

By the time James had managed to coax Matthew away from the window seat, there was a knock on the door. Matthew immediately shot to his feet from the seat he had only just sat down in.

“I’ll get it,” Matthew announced before he began to exit the living area.

Cordelia appeared in front of him and placed a hand on his chest, halting his movements. “I’ll get it.”

Matthew let out a huff and took a few steps back as Cordelia left to greet the guest. James watched Matthew carefully as he rocked back on his heels watching the doorway. He had always seen the way Matthew acted around Y/N, and vice versa. It seemed to James that everyone could see what the two felt for one another, he even had long discussions with Cordelia about it while they should have been sleeping or doing something else.

When Y/N finally stepped into the room with a wide smile on her face she was instantly wrapped in a hug by Matthew. Initially she was shocked to be quite literally swept off her feet, but once she relaxed and recovered her arms wrapped around Matthew just as tightly.

“Don’t go away again,” Matthew mumbled into her hair.

Y/N chuckled. “I was only gone for two weeks!”

Matthew pressed a quick kiss to her cheek and pulled away from the hug, though he still kept his arms around her. “It was still too long for me.”

Y/N rolled her eyes playfully before stepping away from Matthew and wrapped James in a quick hug. “It’s good to see you too, Jamie.”

James smiled at Y/N as she took her place next to Matthew, unconsciously leaning into him. Matthew’s arm rested on her lower back, tugging her closer. The two shared a smile, seemingly lost within each other’s eyes.

From where Cordelia was leaning against the doorway, just behind Matthew and Y/N, James caught her eye and the two shared a knowing look before James spoke up, interrupting Matthew and Y/N from whatever trance they had put the other in.

***

It was a nice day when everyone sat together on a picnic blanket enjoying the sun. Matthew and Y/N were seemingly late everyone had noticed. The two hadn’t even sent word of their absence.

“Did they mention anything to you?” Thomas asked James.

James shook his head. “Matthew only told me that he would pick Y/N up in his carriage at midday.”

“Ah,” Anna spoke up, her gaze fixated over Thomas’s shoulder. “There they are now, only…” she checked her watch, “two hours late.”

When Matthew and Y/N approached, her arm was linked with his and she carried a large bouquet of flowers. Matthew’s gaze was planted firmly on her as she smiled brightly at everyone.

“Sorry we’re late!” Y/N said. “Instead of taking the carriage, we decided to walk because it would be a shame to waste the sunshine while sitting inside a dark and dreary carriage.”

“Where did the flowers come from?” Anna questioned, a teasing tone in her voice.

“Oh,” Y/N exclaimed as if she suddenly remembered she was holding them. “We walked past a florist and had a look inside. Matthew purchased these for me for my new flat!”

“They look expensive.”

“They were,” Y/N said. “That’s why I plan to pay him back soon.”

Matthew sent a glare her way. “You will do no such thing!”

Y/N looked up at him and grinned lazily. “Watch me.”

Matthew held her gaze for a moment before rolling his eyes playfully and sat himself down on the picnic blanket. As Y/N was about to be beside him, Matthew easily pulled her down so she sat in front of him, her back resting against his chest.

“Careful!” Y/N said. “You’ll crush the flowers.”

Matthew’s arms wrapped around her waist from behind. “Then I will just have to buy you more.”

Y/N turned her head to look at him. “You will do no such thing.”

Matthew’s head tilted towards her’s. Their faces were close but neither of the two acknowledged it, nor did they acknowledge all of the looks sent their way. Some of knowing, some of confusion and some of desperation. All they focussed on was each other.

“Won’t I?” Matthew mumbled.

“You won’t,” Y/N said, her gaze never leaving his eyes.

Matthew smiled. His nose brushed hers. “I will always buy you flowers because every beautiful thing deserves to be owned by the most beautiful woman.”

Y/N’s eyes widened the smallest amount. Her gaze remained on his eyes though her hand tightened on his wrapped around her waist. “You think I’m beautiful?”

“Of course I do,” Matthew said, kissing the tip of her nose before pulling his face away.

Y/N smiled as she reached forward to pick up a sandwich before relaxing fully against Matthew.

Everyone around them resumed their conversation but everyone noticed how Y/N intertwined her fingers with Matthew’s and how whenever Y/N shuffled or moved the slightest bit, Matthew’s gaze fell to her, full of love.

***

It was late at night when Matthew and Y/N had finally finished decorating Y/N’s flat. It had been a dreary day and with nothing else to do, Y/N contacted Matthew to help with her decorating. Matthew was knocking on her door not even fifteen minutes later.

Matthew was sitting on the couch while Y/N came in with two mugs of tea in her hands and placed them down on the table in front of them. The two sat side by side while the fireplace roared.

“Thank you for helping me today,” Y/N said, breaking the comfortable silence. “It would have been a boring day without you.”

Matthew smiled at the ceiling. “I’m glad I could help. And I’m happy you asked me.”

“There is no one else I would ask,” Y/N said. “Except maybe Thomas, he could easily reach the top of my bookshelf without using a chair.”

Matthew rolled his eyes and rested his head on Y/N’s shoulder. Y/N rested her head on top of his.

“My favourite decoration is still the flowers you bought me,” Y/N said. “Even if they are a little wilted by now.”

Matthew glanced over at the flowers she had put in a vase, one that Matthew had also bought her when she first moved into her flat.

“I will need to buy you more,” Matthew said. “And I don’t want to hear you object, because I will buy you more every single time the previous flowers begin to wilt.”

“You are impossible,” Y/N muttered.

“But you love me for it,” Matthew said.

Y/N didn’t respond but she smiled.

Matthew intertwined his fingers with hers before he lifted his head from her shoulder. “Dance with me.”

“What?” Y/N questioned.

Matthew stood up, pulling Y/N up with him. “Dance with me.”

“But there’s no music,” Y/N questioned as Matthew brought her into the centre of her living room.

“Who cares,” Matthew said before he wrapped his arm around Y/N’s waist and pulled her against his chest as the two simply swayed in the middle of the room. The only sound was the crackling fire.

Y/N had been close to Matthew before but there had usually been plenty of other people around. Now with only the two of them she felt her heart begin to beat rapidly.

Unbeknownst to her, Matthew was flustered. He hadn’t known what overcame him when he asked her to dance. Only that he had an overcoming urge to be close to her and hold her within his arms.

The fire crackled as the two continued to sway in the middle of the living room. Neither of the two were sure how long it had been since they had started. They were too wrapped up within one another to notice how much time had passed.

Matthew moved his head from where it had been looking over her shoulder to rest against Y/N’s forehead. She was truly the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Everyday he would wake up and his first thought would be of her and how her hair looked in the sunlight. He would think of how she smiled when she was happy or found something mildly amusing. He thought of her kindness, her intelligence, her humour. He also thought of her touch and they way she always sought him out in a crowd. The way she would lean into him or link his arm while walking. The way she would mess his hair up when he did something mildly irritating. She was the only person he ever let do that.

Matthew’s eyes closed as he began to lean into Y/N, his breath mixing with hers. There was the smallest brush of his lips against hers and Matthew already craved more. He moved his hands to cup her cheeks and fully pressed his lips against Y/N’s. He nearly felt his heart explode.

Y/N tensed her whole body as soon as Matthew’s lips touched hers. The feeling wasn’t an unwelcome one but it was a shocking one. She didn’t move and let her hands drop down by her sides. Her brain was stalling her to kiss him back but her body wasn’t cooperating.

Matthew’s lips detached from hers, his eyes dark but blown wide as he realised what he just did. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.”

Matthew took several steps back from Y/N. “I’ll just go.”

Y/N watched him leave the room without another word. She called out to him but he didn’t reply. It was only when she heard her front door open and prompty close when her body finally allowed her to move.

She was at her doorway in an instant and swung open the door, not bothering with putting shoes or a jacket on. Luckily her flat was situated on the ground floor so Y/N was immediately opening the front door. It was pouring rain but she didn’t care, stepping outside barefoot and bare armed into the cold rain. She saw Matthew not too far ahead, his hand in the pockets of his trousers, his white shirt completely soaked through. In his haste to leave he hadn’t picked up his jacket.

“Matthew!” Y/N called while rushing down the street, stones dug into her feet but she didn’t care. The only thing on her mind was Matthew.

Matthew stopped and turned, he frowned as Y/N ran up to him. “What are you doing out here, Y/N? Go back inside.”

“No,” Y/N said. “You kissed me.”

Matthew sighed and avoided eye contact. “Can we just forget about that? I shouldn’t have done it and now I’ve ruined everything.”

Y/N shook her head. “‘Ruined everything’? How did you ruin everything?”

Matthew ran a hand through his wet hair, pushing it away from his eyes. “You didn’t kiss me back. I think that’s a clear enough answer for me.” Matthew turned to walk away.

“Because you didn’t give me a chance!” Y/N exclaimed. “You were pulling away and leaving before I ever got the chance to respond. I was shocked and confused. I think deep down I knew what I felt for you. I think it was easier for me to just mask it as a close friendship because I was scared you would never love me the way I love you.”

Matthew stilled before slowly turning to face her. “What do you mean, Y/N?”

“By the angel, you can be so stupid sometimes!”

Before Matthew had the chance to respond, Y/N clutched onto the front of his shirt and pulled him down to press her lips against his. The rain continued to pour around them but they didn’t care. Not when Matthew’s hands rested on her hips. Y/N felt the heat from his palms through the thin gown she wore, now completely drenched and clinging to her body.

Y/N’s arms moved from clutching Matthew’s shirt to wrap around his shoulder’s her hand resting on the back of his head deepening the kiss. Matthew let out a small noise as his fingertips dug into Y/N’s hips pulling her closer until her body was flush with his.

Matthew pulled away first and rested his forehead against Y/N’s breathing heavily. “Tell me what that meant.”

“Are you really-”

“I already know,” Matthew said. “But I want to hear you say it.”

Y/N smiled. “I am in love with you, Matthew Fairchild.”

Matthew pressed his lips against Y/N’s. It was brief but it told Y/N everything she needed to know.

“I want to hear you say it too,” Y/N muttered against his lips.”

“I. Love. You.” Matthew said, kissing her in between each word. “I will love you until I let any bouquet of flowers die.” Matthew pressed a soft kiss against the tip of her nose. “So now you cannot deny me when I buy them for you.”

The two stood with their arms wrapped around one another in the middle of the downpour, smiles on their faces. It wasn’t until Y/N shivered that the two broke whatever bubble they had been in.

“We should get back inside,” Y/N said. “There is a warm fire. Two cups of tea still not finished and…” Y/N leaned up to whisper in his ear. “A warm bed.”

Matthew smirked before he lifted Y/N up in his arms. She laughed in delight. “I am not opposed to that idea.”

***

The next morning everyone was waiting outside of Y/N’s flat. The previous day she had invited them all over to celebrate her moving into her new home.

“Is she even home?” Lucie asked.

“It’s Y/N,” Anna said. “When she makes plans, she sticks to them.”

“We’ve been waiting here for half an hour,” Thomas said. “Maybe she’s forgotten.”

Cordelia sighed before she pulled a key out of her bag. “Y/N gave me a key to her flat for emergencies.”

“But this isn’t an emergency,” James said.

“It may not be,” Cordelia said unlocking the door. “But I would like to know where Matthew is.”

The group looked around at one another, only noticing that Matthew wasn’t there.

“Y/N?” Cordelia announced as she stepped into her flat.

“Cordelia?” Matthew said, appearing from the kitchen carrying two mugs of coffee. He was shirtless and his trousers hung low on his waist. Cordelia averted her gaze.

“Y/N invited us to see her flat,” Cordelia said as everyone entered the flat behind her.

They all looked at Matthew. They all shared a look with one another but no one looked the slightest bit surprised.

“Matthew!” Y/N said, her footsteps padding down the hallway. “Could you help me with this, I can’t get it to stay in place.”

Y/N appeared in the living room, only wearing a white shirt. Y/N let out a noise of surprise when she noticed everyone standing in her living room.

Matthew placed the two mugs of coffee down before moving to shield Y/N’s body with his own.

“You can all make yourselves at home,” Y/N said as he and Matthew began to walk down the hallway. “We will be out in a minute.”

The group waited until they heard Y/N’s door close before laughing.

“It was about time,” James said, sitting on the couch and wrapped an arm around Cordelia, a wide smile on his face.

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irhdifartzamfyaa · 8 months ago

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the lack of matthew fairchild fics is criminal

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irhdifartzamfyaa · 9 months ago

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(not so) simple masterlist

pairing: anthony bridgerton x fem!reader

status: complete!

summary: coercing lord bridgerton into pretending to court you to avoid the affections of a baron is very simple. that is, of course, until it isn't.

featuring fake dating/courtship, minor rivals to lovers, idiots in love, mutual pining that they think is unrequited, slowish burn, hurt/comfort, a signature bridgerton happily ever after, and my blood sweat and tears!

total wc: 44,497

overall warning(s): historical inaccuracies, period typical misogyny, implied/referenced sexual harassment -- individual, more specific warnings on each chapter. reader is referred to with the last name worthing for convenience

part 1 ↳ 10k words | miss worthing makes an awful sort of proposal to the viscount bridgerton.

part 2 ↳ 7.1k words | miss worthing despises and enjoys the viscount bridgerton's company in equivalence.

part 3 ↳ 9.7k words | miss worthing has a terrible realization.

part 4 ↳ 7.6k words | the viscount has a revelation and miss worthing decides against her heart.

part 5 ↳ 9k words | miss worthing and the viscount find themselves at a crossroads.

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irhdifartzamfyaa · 9 months ago

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to flee or not to flee?

anthony bridgerton x OC what happens when a charming and determined viscount courts someone whose worst fear is to marry a man like him?

tropes: damsel in distress, innocent and shy mc, slow burn

tw: mentions of domestic abuse, angst, anxiety, slight misogyny/patriarchal concepts

see playlist for the story here!

*images are not mine*

part 1: miss carrington finds herself the center of a certain viscount's attentions.

part 2: anthony's courting of annalise poses a challenge the viscount did not expect.

part 3: anthony conjures up a plan to win over annalise.

part 4: annalise spends a week with the bridgerton family at their country estate.

part 5: annalise and anthony adjust to their new lives.

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irhdifartzamfyaa · 9 months ago

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Sleepy Baby Masterlist

I guess I wrote something.

I have no Idea how long this new hobby will last but I’m gonna have fun with it while it does.

Main Masterlist

Sleepy Baby

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

Part 9

Part 10

Part 11

Part 12

Part 13

Part 14

Part 15

Part 16

Part 17

Part 18

Vignettes

Our Song

Anti-Valentine’s Day

Joe Cool

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irhdifartzamfyaa · 9 months ago

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𝐅𝐔𝐂𝐊: 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐔𝐍𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐄 — 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

𝐉𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐍 𝐗 𝐘𝐎𝐔 (𝐍𝐈𝐂𝐊𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄: 𝐖𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐀) 𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐓𝐎 𝐅𝐔𝐂𝐊 𝐁𝐔𝐃𝐃𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐓𝐎 𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐒 𝐓𝐎 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐁𝐘 𝐑𝐎𝐎𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐁𝐑𝐔𝐈𝐒𝐄𝐑

𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘 𝐈𝐒 𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐋𝐘 𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐋𝐈𝐂𝐈𝐓. 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐒 𝐀𝐁𝐒𝐎𝐋𝐔𝐓𝐄𝐋𝐘 𝐃𝐎 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓. 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘 𝐈𝐒 𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐓𝐋𝐘 𝟏𝟖+. 𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐒 𝐌𝐀𝐘 𝐁𝐄 𝐔𝐏𝐒𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆. 𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐄 𝐓𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅 𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆. 𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐋𝐔𝐃𝐄: 𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐇𝐈𝐂 𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐂𝐑𝐈𝐏𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐒𝐄𝐗, 𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐒𝐓, 𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐆𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐘, 𝐌𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐃, 𝐕𝐈𝐎𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄, 𝐃𝐄𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍, 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇, 𝐃𝐄𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍, 𝐆𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐅.

𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 𝐕𝐈𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐁𝐎𝐀𝐑𝐃

𝐅𝐔𝐂𝐊: 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐔𝐍𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐄 𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐂𝐑𝐈𝐏𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍: 𝐘𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐚 𝐊𝐚𝐳𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐤𝐲--𝐓𝐨𝐦 "𝐈𝐜𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐧" 𝐊𝐚𝐳𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐤𝐲'𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐝𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐞𝐫--𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐚 𝐍𝐚𝐯𝐚𝐥 𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐩 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐬 𝐚𝐭 𝐓𝐨𝐩 𝐆𝐮𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐝𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐫𝐮𝐢𝐭𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐰: 𝐍𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝐈𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥-𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐧 𝐖𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐚 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐥 𝐪𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬. 𝐉𝐚𝐤𝐞 "𝐇𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐦𝐚𝐧" 𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐧 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐞𝐱𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐭𝐨𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐞𝐧-𝐟𝐨𝐥𝐝. 𝐉𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐯𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐧𝐨 𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭. 𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐛𝐨𝐢𝐥 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐲 (𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐮𝐛𝐢𝐜𝐥𝐞 𝐨𝐧 𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐬), 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐮𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐢𝐧 𝐉𝐚𝐤𝐞. 𝐖𝐡𝐨 𝐤𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐥𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐧-𝐥𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐆𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐏𝐥𝐚𝐧 𝐁 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐎𝐫 𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤 𝐛𝐮𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬. 𝐖𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐞𝐫!

𝟏: 𝐅𝐔𝐂𝐊 𝐘𝐎𝐔 —𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐉𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐞𝐲𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐲𝐞. 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐚 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝. 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐮𝐩 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐲.

𝟐: 𝐅𝐔𝐂𝐊 𝐌𝐄 —𝐒𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐥 𝐭𝐨 𝐅𝐮𝐜𝐤 𝐘𝐨𝐮. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐉𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐧-𝐥𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐆𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐏𝐥𝐚𝐧-𝐁.

𝟑: 𝐅𝐔𝐂𝐊 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐌 —𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐅𝐮𝐜𝐤: 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐔𝐧𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐉𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬. 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐚 𝐥𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐧-𝐥𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐆𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐞. 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭'𝐬 𝐞𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐧𝐨𝐰.

𝟒: 𝐅𝐔𝐂𝐊 𝐈𝐓 —𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐅𝐮𝐜𝐤: 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐔𝐧𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞. 𝐉𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫. 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞, 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐝𝐚𝐝.

𝟓: 𝐅𝐔𝐂𝐊 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 —𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐟𝐭𝐡 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐅𝐮𝐜𝐤: 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐔𝐧𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞. 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐝𝐚𝐝 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬. 𝐉𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐮𝐧𝐰𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠.

𝟔: 𝐅𝐔𝐂𝐊 𝐎𝐅𝐅 —𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐉𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐠𝐨 𝐨𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞 (𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐡𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲).

𝟕: 𝐅𝐔𝐂𝐊, 𝐑𝐎𝐎𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑! —𝐑𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐲 𝐝𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐬𝐲. 𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐠𝐞𝐭 ��𝐨𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐲 𝐨𝐧 𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐞, 𝐑𝐨𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐦. 𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐂𝐲𝐧𝐝𝐢 𝐋𝐚𝐮𝐩𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩 𝐡𝐢𝐦.

𝟖: 𝐅𝐔𝐂𝐊: 𝐊𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐒 𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 —𝐓𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐉𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐞.

𝟗: 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐔𝐂𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐄𝐍𝐃 —𝐀 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧𝐝.

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