Marni. 27. Fanfiction writer. Fairy Tale Princess cursed by an evil wizard to live in reality.
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innocent girl x man who finds her adorable/wants to protect her
The best trope. This is the hill I will be dying on.
slytherin coryo with a hufflepuff girlfriend is the definition of “touch her and you die”
YESSSSSSSSSSSSS I LOVE THISSS it’s probably so obvious from everything I write but I love love love innocent girl x man who finds her adorable/wants to protect her :((((
#well#either this or skinny jeans are the best jeans#my mom: skinny jeans are out#me: cool don't care they make my legs look good
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But it kinda got me thinking...in the 1870s was country/folk music to people of that time what rap and punk rock is to us today?
Okay, but I've been kinda thinking about this... and it makes sense.
i just saw someone say modern billy would listen to lana del rey…this mf is listening to morgan wallen pls ENUFF
The question of what music Billy would listen to is so hotly debated in this community 😭😭it's so hard to say because everybody has different interpretations
I don't think he would listen to Lana on his own, but he wouldn't mind it if his girl put it on in the car or somth. Personally I do feel like he'd be into country and I know a lot of people say that because of the time period he's from, like that was probably the only music he was hearing.
BUT ALSO we take into account Tom's interpretation of that which was...debated. But it kinda got me thinking...in the 1870s was country/folk music to people of that time what rap and punk rock is to us today?
Tbh I think he'd vibe with anything with a good beat behind it, like he enjoys the instrumentals/production part of music more than the lyrics (although he does enjoy the lyrics aswell)
#honestly it's just been something i'm thinking about because i made an oc that is so refreshed by hearing country/folk music#and loves hearing billy#(because honestly who wouldn't?)#like i think about it at least once a day tbh#i'm writing something with her... by that i mean i'm making moodboards#i mean that's the same thing right?#maybe i can post some#maybe i can let em clog up much needed space on my phone and laptop#anyway i'm rambling#i've been getting up too early and waiting for thursday so i can sleep in a little
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I'm a nanny and I approve this message! 👍
cough being his live in nanny cough he loves his little girl but he’s stressed so thin with running the ranch that he needs the extra help cough
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH and his daughter just ADORES you and he grows to as well and this is reminding me of the sound of music
#and billy doesn't just sit and ignore that he has a kid when that kid is screaming and hitting the nanny right next to him#although billy's kid would never do that because she's too well-behaved#i laugh so i don't cry#or scream into the void
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""Look, sweetheart, it's Fish. Bet he's missed you."" FISH, MY BELOVED!! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!
"Something seemed to snap in you, and you swept a hand out, pushing him away. "Stop it, Fish."" Don't be alarmed by that sobbing you hear in the distance, it's just me.
"“Never,” he responded instantly, nudging his lips to your forehead. “You’re a part of me. Lettin’ go of you would be like lettin’ go of my heart.”" Oh there goes my heart again.
"But Fish curled around you like nothing had changed since the night before you were taken, the pleasant vibration of his purring filling the air." 😭
⋆౨ৎ𝓗𝓪𝓵𝓯 𝓛𝓲𝓯𝓮⋆౨ৎ
[fem reader] contains: depression, animal abandonment pairing: billy the kid x fem reader summary: you aren't the same after you were kidnapped author’s note: I'm half dead, I hope this is good <3 Pinterest Board Spotify Playlist
The sky was dark, the grayness of it expanding as far as the eye could see with the promise of rain. It painted everything near in a melancholy shadow, like the world was a ghost of itself.
This was not the way Billy had hoped to bring you home.
As he ushered you through the open space between his horse and the house, standing like a figure in the distance, he noticed the door was ajar. The miniscule detail heightened the already-present guilt inside him, but he pushed it down deep, instead focusing on you.
Rubbing your shoulders comfortingly, Billy ensured your steps were steady as he guided you up the stairs, nudging at the gap in the door with his foot to open it without letting go of you. The deafening quiet of the house met his ears, and he nearly cringed at the emptiness of it. Billy had really only ever known these four walls to hold light and laughter and love, three things always associated with you. The girl under his arm was a mere notion of that, nothing more.
Images of you tied, gagged, and crying invaded Billy's vision, and he tried to shake them away as he shut the door behind you. The last day had been tumultuous, overflowing with worry. Memories didn't come forth, only brief images accompanied by emotion. He'd ridden like mad trying to find you, cursing the roots of the ones who'd taken his girl away from him.
He didn't want to think about that right now. About the bloodbath that had ensued, about the sight of your fear-stricken body taut in his arms. Blinking once, Billy re-twined his arm around you, rubbing your side and dropping a kiss to your silken hair. Still soft after your whole ordeal.
You turned to face him, and he went numb at the look in your eyes. Stolen joy, replaced with an awful replica, a renewed safety that didn't fill near the space of what had been taken. Billy squeezed your hip, lifting his hand to trace the apple of your cheek. "It's okay." They were the only words he could think to breathe into the tension of the air.
The gentle padding of little footsteps descended, and the next thing Billy knew, the body of your cat, fur dark as midnight, was rubbing against his legs, weaving in and around them like the path of a river. A smile crossed Billy as he realized, and he looked to you somewhat excitedly. "Look, sweetheart, it's Fish. Bet he's missed you."
Your body gave a jolt when the cat nudged his furry face into your calf, as if to ask where you'd been. Billy's face fell into worry when you didn't bend to scratch Fish's ears or pick him up as he'd thought you would. Instead, your face was pressed to his chest, fingers clenching the leather of one suspender in an attempt to pull him closer somehow.
Fish seemed put off, sitting on his hind legs and craning his neck up as he meowed. All Billy could do was look helplessly at the little creature over your shoulder, fingers caressing the length of your spine as he attempted to inject comfort into you through his touch. After such a spot of trauma, he'd thought, hoped that your beloved pet would bring you some semblance of normalcy.
The afternoon bled into night, darkening the corners of the earth and further leading you into dread for the sleep ahead. Billy managed to coax you into bed, your spot between his arms beckoning. He promised that you didn't have to sleep, but it'd do you some good to at least lie down. Holding you, he tried to ignore the angry welts where the ropes had stung at your wrists, the marks for which there was no balm except time.
Your eyes were open, hair spread across his chest like a splayed, outstretched wildflower. He sifted his fingers through it, letting the quiet linger. He wore no shirt, knowing how much you loved having his skin right against yours. Maybe it would inspire sleep; that feeling of being comfortable.
Billy hated feeling helpless, but there was hardly anything else to do. there were things floating in your mind that he couldn't fix. There was very little to resolve with his capabilities. For now all he could do was hold you, guarantee your safety.
There was a little mew, and then light pressure on the mattress as Fish sprang up onto the bed. Normally it was a routine- Billy would fix himself against your back, arms slung around your waist, and Fish would curl up on your other side. You'd been falling asleep with him like that for longer than Billy had known you, and so when he began to occupy the same bed he simply adjusted himself around it. It was a cozy thing; the image of you cuddling with both him and the cat.
Right now, your stomach was pressed to Billy's side, ear resting on his heart. Fish pushed his head against your back, wanting you to turn around. But you were still, seemingly immune to the cat's wishes.
After a few tries, Fish gave up, opting to pad over to Billy's side and slump defeatedly by his hip. He lifted a hand, trailing his fingers over Fish's head, trying to convey that you didn't mean it, that you just weren't feeling your best. The poor creature didn't even know what happened.
All he knew was that his favorite person in the world was refusing to even look at him.
Everything about healing is arduous. If it happens too quickly, it didn't happen right. Billy tried to keep this in mind as he marched through every day, holding your hand through some, but carrying you most.
The nightmares. Every time you drifted into sleep, Billy hoped it would be a longer stretch than the previous night before you were inevitably woken by strains of the subconscious. He'd hear the familiar strains of sniffling, feel teardrops rain on his chest, and just know.
"Shh, sweet girl," Billy murmured one night after a particularly harrowing dream, fitting his palm under your nightdress over your back and hoping the heat of it would bring you down. "'S okay. I've gotcha. You're safe, I'm here."
You gasped, letting out a little sob that broke his heart. Billy dressed you in his arms, fingers falling over you like the petals of a flower kissing the bud. He held you tight, his body a shelter to your internal storms. It was a strange thing to hide from something inside by gravitating outward.
What truly saddened Billy was the clear contrast between your former and current being. When he'd met you, it was as if you were the goddess of spring herself, a sunbeam fallen to earth with the sole intention of brightening it. He swore flowers sprung up in your path, everything you touched glittered.
Now you were somber, retreated into the oceans of your own feelings. How swiftly your demeanor had changed in the wake of the horrible event of your kidnapping. With every crystally pearl that slipped from your formerly bright eyes, every shudder that racked you when he extended a comforting hand to your arm, he wished he hadn't been so swift in ending the lives of those who'd persecuted you. They deserved something slower, a twisting knife so they knew exactly what they'd done.
He reached for your waist, pulling you to sit on his lap and lower your head to his shoulder. Stretching a palm across your back, Billy began to tilt his body back and forth, rocking you soothingly and whispering, "Was just a dream, baby. 's all over now. You're gonna be okay." You let out a shuddering gasp, burying your face in his chest as the aftershocks of your nightmare shook your body.
Fish sleepily lifted his head from where he was sleeping at Billy's side, seeming to notice your distress. He arched his back in a stretch that nearly made him vibrate, pressing his cheek to your elbow. The touch made you stiffen, and you burrowed further into Billy, avoiding the cat's touch. That same stab of secondhand guilt cut him, and he exhaled softly, digging his nose into your hair. He wasn't the only one saddened by your troubles as of late.
Days pooled themselves, saving up to become weeks, and Billy was worried by your state. The nightmares continued, disturbing your sleep sometimes multiple times after dark. Aside from that, you were nearly a ghost when the sun was up, hardly lucid, tethered to the rock of that horrible day when you'd been taken.
You were rapidly losing weight, your skin paling. He was diligent about feeding you, but you ate very little. The pillars of your light were burning out one by one, as much as he could see you didn't want them to.
Drawn and quiet, your days were filled with the sound of silence. You occupied yourself half-heartedly with light tasks, and it instilled an ache in him- how diligently you tried to resume normalcy. He watched you sew and read and prepare meals, trying to resume your life as it was before. But all it seemed to do was push you further adrift in your sorrow.
Even the simplest of tasks, like brushing your hair, could send you into a fit of tears. That time, he'd heard the hairbrush clatter to the floor and sprang to his feet, racing to your side and gathering you in his arms. You were falling and he was trying desperately to hold you up.
The situation with Fish only grew worse. You outright refused to interact with the poor cat at all. He meowed at you for love and you ignored him, not even turning your head.
The poor cat would come pitifully to Billy after each rejection, tail metaphorically between his legs. Fish was long used to being shown nothing but love by you, and this sudden turn must have been jarring for him. It was a strange thing for Billy to behold as well. The sight of you cuddling the cat, even giving him kisses, was as ordinary as the sky's color before the events of your kidnapping. Things had changed, and not for the better.
Every night, Fish reattempted to resume the routine with you, meowing and trying to lay against you. And every night you would turn away from him, your back a cold declination.
He would have thought you were being cruel. But he knew you were hurting, that the pain was creeping in and making a home in your bones. The woman he loved wouldn't hurt anything on purpose. And so he took up the duty of comforting your cat, holding you with one arm and scratching Fish behind the ears with his opposite hand.
One night as you were lying facing him on the pillows, head nestled in the crook of your arm, you murmured, "You don't need to supervise me all the time, you know. You could go back to work."
Billy lifted his head, his thumb stroking the inside of your elbow. "Not when you're not feelin' well," he whispered. "Sweetheart, I'm tryin' to take care of you."
"It must be exhausting." You shifted on your side. "Constantly watching me." Your words were spoken dully, with little tone and even less volume.
Letting out a breath, Billy propped himself up on an elbow, searching your eyes. He held your hand between you, running the pad of his finger over the bump of your knuckles. "Exhausting? No. Never. But I'm worried, darlin'. 'bout you."
You turned on your back, staring at the ceiling. "I'm fine."
The flat delivery of your words was almost worse than if you'd screamed them. He let out a humorless laugh. "Sweeheart, you ain't been fine in weeks. You won't eat or speak...you won't even pet your cat."
His words rendered you silent, and you searched the ceiling as if it held the answers to life's greatest questions. Fish chose this moment to leap onto the bed, pawing at your thigh. Something seemed to snap in you, and you swept a hand out, pushing him away. "Stop it, Fish."
Billy frowned, sitting up and letting the covers fall to his thighs. "Baby, don't take it out on the cat. He ain't done nothin', just tryna give you love." Fish approached you again, and you huffed, turning away. Billy shook his head, his heart clenching. "Honey, c'mon now."
You sat up and drew your legs to your chest, like two spindly branches folding in the wind. Burying your face in your knees, you took in a shaky staccato breath, nails digging into your skin. Billy reached out a hand, rubbing it up and down your back. Your behavior had long since crossed over into the territory of being out of character. It was as if a ghost had inhabited the space you once took up.
He was well aware of what you were doing, even if it wasn't purposeful. Shutting out the world, pushing him away. You were a spectre lying in the bed where his sweetheart used to sleep. Billy sat there in silence, recalling how many times he'd attempted to maneuver you out of yourself again. And he wondered if that version of you was even still there.
Then you sniffled, lifting your head and reaching out for him. He could read the early signs of tears, sense the ache that resided within you. And in an instant, all doubts ceased. His girl was still in there. She had to be.
Billy's arms encircled you, pulling you tight into his body and tucking your head under his chin. When your face was buried in his chest, your body began to shake, little tremors cutting through your being. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I love you." Your voice was edged with sobs the way curtains were with lace.
The words tore right through him as if he were the page of a book, and he pressed his lips into your hair. "Shhh...don't apologize. I love you too, I love you so much. I just wish you'd let me in, my love. Let me help you."
"I don't wanna hurt you..." you choked, trembling under his gentle touch. "I can't get better..."
"Hey...that ain't true, baby," Billy whispered, his brow furrowing. "You can-"
"I don't deserve to get better," you sniffled. That sentence broke his heart worse than anything that had happened thus far.
Billy drew you close, nuzzling his cheek against your head. "My love, you deserve every good thing in the world." He pulled back for a moment, tilting your tearstained face up so he could see your eyes. "'n gettin' better's a damn good thing."
Your lower lip trembled just slightly, and Billy stroked your hair. It was devastatingly clear how badly you were hurting. So he gave you the only thing he truly knew how to do. Love.
He swaddled you in his arms, and you clung to him, nudging yourself close. Stroking your waist, Billy eased gentle kisses into your hair. "I'm here," he murmured. "I ain't goin' anywhere, sweet girl. 'm here."
Fish didn't even try to go to you that night. He just went straight to Billy.
Like a flower, you had been withering, petals stiffening and crinkling, floating down to the ground at your feet. He could see how frozen you were in your sad metamorphosis, clawing desperately at your own skin to get out of it.
He saw it in the way you looked at Fish, curled up against his leg. It was obvious how awful you felt about your maltreatment of the cat, but you were too lost in the waves of your depression to pull out and fix it. Billy grasped at the shreds of you left behind, tried to piece them together and show you the beauty of them.
He saw it in the way you clung to him, the love you felt a facet of yourself you'd never let go of. And he was glad for that, more than anything. It gave him hope. Love could solve anything with time and patience, he knew.
And so, he gave it tenfold, covering you in kisses and in cuddles. He made sure to hold you tight in the morning, especially after a rough night, whispering his love for you over and over again. Though he tried to hide it, his affections held a desperate edge. With every touch he seemed to whisper, please come back to me.
Over time, little signs seemed to reveal themselves, signs you were getting better. It was like seeing the first sparkle of a lake at sunrise, like witnessing a flower open its petals. You began to come to life again. He didn't comment on it, worried it would cause you to retreat back into yourself or tease out any worries. Instead, he continued to love on you.
He noticed you standing on the porch at sunset one evening, looking out into the cloudy sky streaked with orange. There was a light sheen of rain drizzling over the earth, and you seemed transfixed by it. Billy leaned against the doorway, silently watching you extend a hand, tentatively letting the rain kiss your fingers.
Then, slowly, hesitantly, a tiny smile twitched at your lips.
It was like seeing the sun after a storm, like the first sign of hope in a crisis. Billy felt it hit him like a bolt of lightning, bubbling in his chest and threatening to spill over. His eyes stayed glued to you, sure it was a trick of the light, a flicker that would fade into black.
But then you turned to him, corners of your mouth turning up more by the minute. And he couldn’t hold back anymore.
Billy moved forward, bridging the gap and pulling you into his arms, crushing you against his chest. He kissed the top of your head, emotion welling up in his being and overflowing into his actions.
You slid your arms around him, seeming confused. “Billy? What is it?” The rain was pouring harder, beating against the roof of the porch in the same rhythm as his heart.
Hope was coursing through him in a river. He was too overwhelmed to speak for a moment. When he finally found his words, all he could manage was “You’re…you’re smilin’.”
Your features softened. “Oh, Billy.”
His fingers tangled in your hair, heel of his palm on your cheek. You tilted your head up, nudging your nose against him. He saw daylight in your eyes, something golden and bright on the horizon. Billy felt like it was the first time he’d ever seen you, like he was a younger man dizzy under the spell of new love. And he let himself get hit over and over again.
“My sweet girl,” he breathed, searching your eyes. “My baby…”
You lifted yourself on your tiptoes, brushing your lips gently against his. Billy pressed his body to yours, holding you close as you smiled into the kiss. He caressed you like your body was built from gold, breathed into life by angels.
The sight of you smiling, kissing him, the beginnings of light brightening your entire being, spurred his actions, and his mouth dragged against yours, holding you in a kiss that stopped time. He pressed little pecks to your parted lips. “My sweet girl…my beautiful girl…”
You held to him, body practically melting against his. Arms encircling your waist, Billy breathed easy. Tilting your head up, you murmured, “You never gave up on me.”
“Never,” he responded instantly, nudging his lips to your forehead. “You’re a part of me. Lettin’ go of you would be like lettin’ go of my heart.”
“I wouldn’t have blamed you if you did,” you whispered, cheek on his shoulder. “I’ve been exhausting. And difficult. And unresponsive.”
“You were hurtin’,” Billy shook his head, lavishing another kiss to the border of your hairline. "You went through a bad thing. Anybody woulda reacted the same way."
"But I hurt you," you whispered, horror outlining your words. "And I hurt Fish..." Saying it out loud seemed to weaken you, and Billy held fast to your figure. "I pushed him..."
"Hey...hey, sweetheart, it's okay," Billy said softly, caressing your cheek. "It's okay. Me 'n Fish knew it wasn't personal. We knew our girl was in there somewhere." His hand traced the line of your jaw, reveling in the sight of the beginnings of healing. "We knew you'd come back to us. And even if you didn't, we'd love you anyways."
Every word that poured from his lips was knotted with sincerity, painting an idyllic picture that seemed to wash over you. The rain was slowing down, and you were breathing steady, and Billy swore he could see your soul glowing from the inside out, as if you were stardust. He wouldn't have been surprised if you were.
Between the sheets, your phantoms were stilled for the night, and you laid peacefully in his arms, like the space between them had been carved to fit you. Your name was the title of his story, your handwriting in the margins, your pen underlining his captivation. A week ago he would have thought this an illusion. His girl, happy beginning to seep back into her veins where it belonged.
The familiar thump on the mattress signaled Fish's nightly arrival, and he padded over to you, meowing curiously and half-heartedly rubbing his cheek to your shoulder. Billy exhaled softly, preparing to comfort the cat from your actions borne of grief.
But you reached out a hand, tracing a finger under Fish's cheek and smiling when he began to purr, stretching his neck so your nail would scratch the sweet spot on his neck. You shifted in Billy's arms, so your back was to his chest and his arms were folded over your belly.
Your movements were careful, almost as if you were waiting for the cat's forgiveness. But Fish curled around you like nothing had changed since the night before you were taken, the pleasant vibration of his purring filling the air. Breathing a laugh of delight, you held the cat close to your chest, stroking his head as you eased back into your place.
Billy felt his heart swell at the sight, and he squeezed you to his chest, kissing your temple and taking in the picture he'd have burned into his eyes for eternity if he could. The rough terrain was smoothing out, the seas ahead were tranquil. Spring was resting its soft hand upon the earth and you were healing bit by bit, washed anew by the rain.
All was right with the world.
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nonononononnononononononon- PLEASE NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASPELPSALSLEPLAPSLEPALPPLEASPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE
PLEASE NO NOT NOW NOT LIKE THIS, BELOVED PLEASE, PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME LIKE THIS I'M NOTHING WITHOUT YOU
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Who needs "plot" when you have ✨vibes✨
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🫶🫶🫶🫶
⋆౨ৎ𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓕𝓲𝓷𝓪𝓵 𝓐𝓬𝓽⋆౨ৎ
[fem reader] contains: copious amounts of angst, death, graphic description of blood pairing: billy the kid x fem reader author’s note: guys...what if I quit writing and delete my blog this hurt so bad Pinterest Board Spotify Playlist
You lived in everything.
Billy saw your essence tangled in wildflowers, swimming amongst the glitter of the sun reflecting off the surface of water. All that was good in the world, everything that brought forth a smile was rooted in you, he was convinced.
The one object of his affections, the recipient of his love, you were an angel of the highest order. In Billy's life, he'd never expected a woman to find it in her to love a man like him, let alone one as kindhearted as you. Open armed, endlessly forgiving. At the start of this, he had resolved to humble himself before you, to give you what little he had. It would never be enough, he knew. Not for a woman so beautiful she turned heads, so lovely that people were drawn to her like a hummingbird to a wildflower.
Holding you was paradise, kissing you was a strange kind of rush that he'd never get used to. To love someone so purely hadn't been in the cards for him. No, his hand had been repeatedly unlucky, robbing him of any pleasure life had to offer. But the universe had been holding out on him for now he had the best thing in it.
Billy's guilt nearly ruined the whole thing. He knew he was a whole lot less than you deserved, knew he was on borrowed time with you. Sometimes he wondered if the act of having you was a buildup, some new kind of cruel torture where he'd get to taste bliss only for it to be ripped away. With the law on his tail at every turn, he feared the life he'd built would be ripped away at the seams.
Every night when he crawled into bed, weary from the day's work, uttering quiet apologies for making it back so late, you would roll over and burrow into his chest. No words exchanged; they didn't have to be. He'd press grateful kisses to your head and you'd smile sleepily with your eyes closed.
This was heaven. This was a haven. Life with you felt like a dream. He couldn't have imagined it in his wildest fantasies, not in the years he'd spent galloping aimlessly along the prairie with no end in sight. Until he'd stumbled upon an eternal sunbeam bound up in the skin of a beautiful woman.
Now, in the sacred hours of the morning, when waking was laced with dreams, Billy traced the contours of your face with a single finger. Newborn sunlight was seeping through the cracks of the thin curtains, outlining your halo in delicate lines. He held you carefully, as if with one wrong move you'd crack under his hands and disappear into dust.
Your eyelashes fluttered and lifted as the first breath of waking drew from your lips. He watched, transfixed by your every detail, as you began to stir, turning sleepily on your side to snuggle deeper into his arms. It was a routine, one that would never take its place on the shelf of the mundane. He treasured it. Safety, one of the few things in the world he possessed that was adequate to give to you.
Lifting his hand to your hair, he ran two fingers over where it met your forehead like the tide to the sand: tracing the expanse and tucking a strand behind your ear. Billy loved your hair, fingered it like strands of spun gold, twisted it around his fingers in leisurely moments. He leaned down, lips meeting your temple as a quiet good morning.
Outside, the birds were chattering, speaking amongst themselves about the course of the day. The earth was coming alive as you were, as if it had waited for sleep to lift its heavy head from your shoulder.
"Mm," you hummed, nudging your head against his chest. Billy rubbed a hand up your back, where your sleep shirt had ridden up- one of his shirts. He drew hearts into your skin, his fingers the pen.
"Sleepy?" he murmured, using one hand to pull the blanket up over you without letting go. You were always tossing and turning in the night, no matter how sound you slept. It wasn't an uncommon sight for the sheets to be tangled around your legs come morning.
Nodding hazily, you rested one hand flat on his chest. Your left hand, perfect and smooth, only void of one thing: his ring. Billy had it hidden in a special place, waiting for the absolute perfect moment to ask the most important question he ever would. Maybe it was silly, maybe it was old-fashioned, but he wanted it to be special. His mama hadn't raised a gentleman for nothing.
For now he resolved to hold you tight, relishing the angel in his arms. The needs of the day were creeping close, and he didn't want to lose a single second he could be with you. Life gave and it took away-for every task he did reluctantly, he received another day with you.
When it was finally time to relent and drag himself out of bed, he pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead, squeezing you one last time and rising. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, Billy drearily donned his work clothes, buttoning his shirt and pulling each suspender up over a shoulder. He sat at the edge of the bed to tug his boots on one by one.
From where he was sitting, Billy rolled over onto his stomach, crawling back to you without letting his boots touch the bed. Positioned half on top of you, he folded his arms, pressing gentle kisses to your cheeks. "You'll be okay, hm?"
"I'll be okay," you promised, one hand dragging up to his hair, fingers combing through it. Your smile was still lined with exhaustion, and his own lips turned up at the sight.
"Sleepy girl," he muttered, eliciting a breathy laugh from you. Billy leaned in, pressing a kiss to your forehead. "Rest your eyes a little longer. I'll be back in a couple hours, mkay?"
"Mkay," you echoed, and he smiled, thumbing the side of your face once before crawling off the bed and getting to his feet.
With one final lingering look at the pretty girl nestled all cozy in his bed, Billy plucked his hat from the hook on the wall and crammed it on his head, opening and shutting the door gently. His boots clunked a comforting rhythm on the wooden floor, and already he was looking forward to coming back home.
The windows were broken.
That was the first thing Billy noticed when he returned. Gaping holes in the glass, the clear substance scattered across the surrounding grass.
His foot nearly caught in the stirrup as he struggled to get down, paling when he noticed the door was ajar, swinging lazily from previous motion.
In an instant, he was scurrying up the steps, only one thing on his mind. You were still home...he'd left his girl all alone... Flinging the door open, he shouted your name hurriedly, eyes blown wide open as he searched for you. You weren't in the kitchen, nor the bedroom, though the sheets were messy, bed still unmade from this morning. From the paradise he'd separated himself from.
The house was empty, that much was clear. Void of any sign of you. It was both relieving and terrifying. A raw, biting feeling gnawed at his gut. Something's not right. Had you gone for a walk in the nearby forest as you often did, narrowly avoiding the break in? Or had you heard the commotion and managed to escape? He found himself praying, a pleading in his heart to whatever higher power was kind enough to listen. Please let her be okay. Please let her be safe.
Billy tossed his hat aside and rested a hand against the doorframe, any previous energy sapped from him like syrup from a maple tree. His heart pounded an echoing beat into his ribcage, mind overwrought with worries. Where were you?
His prayers began to change. I'll leave her behind so she's safe forever if that's what it takes. All this time he'd thought his presence was protecting you, but if it wasn't he would disappear without a backwards glance, no matter how much it would pain him and you to do so. Maybe you would be better off, without the ever present threats hanging over your heads.
He had been careless to show you off the way he did, to put a target on your back like that. Yet another reason you didn't deserve him. You were a treasure of the highest value, one that shouldn't be kept locked away. It was an impossible situation that he nearly brought himself to tears over. Where was a solution where he could love you and have you and keep you safe at the same time?
Billy wandered over to the kitchen window, despondent and fraught with anxiety. He lifted his eyes wearily to the garden, before something he spotted made his body freeze.
Time went motionless, the seconds seeming to tick backwards and forwards all at once. Billy could have sworn he felt his heart stop for just a moment as the realization carved him open from the inside, bones on display, vulnerable to the attack of emotion beating at them like hail.
His body reacted before he did, feet carrying him out of the house, down the porch steps and into the garden, where your broken body lay like a fallen bird in your beloved patch of flowers, the ones you'd planted early spring. They had begun to wilt at the end of the summer, and now they were your deathbed.
Blood spilt from the gaping wound in your chest, spattering the surrounding petals with crimson. Your white dress, the one you'd always giggled about marrying him in someday, was ruined by the sticky substance, like your heart was bleeding out.
In an instant he was kneeling before you, sliding his arms under your body and lowering himself to you, resting sideways in the flowers like he had this morning in bed. Your eyes were wide open, breathing no more than a whisper, but still there. Achingly, you choked, "Billy...Billy..."
Every portion of his body was drawn taut, the pure shock of the sight before him rendering him useless for anything except holding you. He stroked your hair, trying to soothe you despite the circumstances wearing away at time. "Baby..."
Now you were practically choking on air, brows drawn together, lips parted as you trembled, reaching for him. "I don't wanna die...Billy..."
He could feel tears stinging at his eyes, but held back for your sake, calling on every slight of resistance he possessed. "It's okay, sweet girl," he breathed, bringing you up to his chest with no more than a whimper from you. "Shh, I've got you. You're not alone. I'm here 'n I ain't leavin' you ever again."
"I'm sorry," you managed, chest trembling as tears soaked your cheeks. "I don't wanna...leave you...alone..."
He bowed his head, burying his nose in your hair, body rocking back and forth to soothe you. The last thing Billy wanted was for your final moments to be in distress. Not when the way in which you had lived had so clearly been the opposite. "Shh, sweet girl. You just rest. You were so tired before-" Tears pricked the back of his eyes and he cut himself off, swallowing thickly. Unable to keep the emotion from his voice, he continued. "Everything's okay, my love. I've got you."
Even his love had to be tainted by violence, from beginning to end. Billy smoothed your hair, dried your tears with his fingers, did anything to distract himself from the fact that he'd have to love you longer than he had you. He slid his hand under your jaw, all the while cradling you against him, ignoring your blood seeping through his clothes. Though his chest was heaving and his voice was broken, he found a melody on his tongue, the only thing he could think of to comfort you now.
"As Kathleen fair beyond compare, asleep upon a bank I spied." Tears seeped into each word as he tried to carry the tune. "All upon tiptoe I sought her side, and kissed her down in the daisies." Your breathing grew steadier, and he tried to smile for you, assure you in some way. "But up she starts and on me darts, the shafts of scorn from lip and eye."
Sometimes when you had trouble falling asleep, he'd gather you in his arms and hum quietly, relaxing your body and slipping you into your dreams. This song had been your favorite of the folk tunes in his repertoire, the ones his mother taught him.
Indeed now, it was working its magic, and you looked up at him, your lips turning up just slightly, tears like crystal pearls sliding down your cheeks like rain on a windowpane. He continued to rock you back and forth, grasping you tight as life drained from you quickly as your blood had. "Then in a storm goes sweeping by, and leaves me alone with the daisies."
Your body grew heavy, eyes hazy in a way that made him want to beg, plead, scream at the sky for some kind of answer. You were all he had in the world, his purpose, his love. Desperately, he grasped at you, leaning his forehead down to press a single kiss to your lips. It was the last kiss that mattered. But he hadn't thought it would come so soon.
Now the tears on your cheeks were not only your own. His salt mingled with yours, and he reached his thumb up to brush them away, finishing the song in a cracked whisper.
"But when next day I chanced that way, there Kathleen blushed in all her charms, with sighs she sank into my arms, and we told our love to the daisies."
Billy didn't open his eyes, but the moment you took your final breath he felt it. For a moment he pretended you were only sleeping, that his singing had done the trick and eased you into a dream from which you would wake in the morning. You would snuggle into his side like you always did, ask him for five more minutes before he left. And he would give it to you, never deprive you of anything ever again. "My girl," he breathed raggedly. "Please-"
If you were smiling at him, heart beating steadfastly under his hand when he opened his eyes, he'd give up the gun forever and marry you and relocate somewhere secret and never go another day without showing you how absolutely you consumed him. He'd do all the things he should have done before, everything he'd been putting off. He'd forget about the bastards who'd ended your life simply because you loved him and just be grateful you were still here.
But when he finally lifted his lids, yours were shut, already deep into an eternal rest from which he could never wake you. Not even with his softest kisses, his gentlest of touches. Billy didn't know that he would ever be able to accept what would never be. He would never get to slide his ring on your finger, never see your belly round with his child. He would never see the first strands of grey in your hair or hear your laugh or see your smile directed at him like sunshine in this life.
Still, he grasped at you, held you tightly to his chest, supporting your head when it lulled backward limply. Still, he rocked you back and forth, comforting you when you were long gone. His girl, his baby, his love and light. Right now he clung to every memory in fear that he would lose it. Billy knew how the aftermath of death went. He knew someday he would forget how you smelled, what your voice sounded like, how it felt to hold you. Even though he'd spend whatever time he had left missing it.
There was nothing stopping him from digging your grave and flinging himself in it beside you, no outside force preventing him from finding who'd killed you and begging them to take him too. Your last words: I don't wanna leave you alone.
At that, his tears began to fall, pouring torrentially down his cheeks and silencing any logic. Destiny was cruel, mistaking you for star-crossed when you were meant to be written in the stars. Billy wept into your hair, hoping your spirit wasn't watching. The crush of emotion cracked his being open and let forth everything he'd tried to keep underneath. His strength was fraying, its heart silenced.
You made a mistake, he wanted to shout. You were never supposed to take her. Suddenly the rest of his life stretched out before him like a woeful march, highlighting everything he would have to do without you. What was a soul without its mate, a lover without his love? Loss consumed him like a wildfire, flames licking at his chin. He let himself burn.
Your body was growing icy, and he squeezed you tight to him, rubbing his arms over your body. You hated being cold. His darling sweetheart would cuddle up to him no matter the weather if you felt so much as a goosebump. Billy sheathed you into him, passing you his body heat fruitlessly.
He had to let go. The thought probed Billy unwillingly, and he shook his head, feeling like a child. He didn't want to. He didn't want to dig you a crude grave and lay your broken body down, letting the earth hold you instead of him. He didn't want to say goodbye. He didn't want to wash his hands and body of your blood and burn the clothes it had stained. It felt like tossing aside a piece of you, when there were scarcely any left. Soon, the only thing remaining would be memory.
Billy set that dreadful idea adrift, letting it float out to sea. The waves would lap at it and bring it back to the shores of his mind eventually, but for now it was far away. He breathed in a shuddering way, lips finding your temple and pressing there.
"I've got you, sweetheart," he breathed, caressing your stiffening body. At the very least, he was glad you hadn't been alone. "Just rest."
No longer in an ocean, it drifted around him like coyotes circling a lonely traveler, baring its teeth and poising to strike, launching itself at him and consuming all that he held dear. He squeezed his eyes shut, having hoped shoving it down would erase its fruition. But it bloomed in his broken soul like the flowers you'd died atop.
The final act of love is letting go.
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Really?! After I just finished taping my heart back together?! Come on!
⋆౨ৎ𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓕𝓲𝓷𝓪𝓵 𝓐𝓬𝓽⋆౨ৎ
[fem reader] contains: copious amounts of angst, death, graphic description of blood pairing: billy the kid x fem reader author’s note: guys...what if I quit writing and delete my blog this hurt so bad Pinterest Board Spotify Playlist
You lived in everything.
Billy saw your essence tangled in wildflowers, swimming amongst the glitter of the sun reflecting off the surface of water. All that was good in the world, everything that brought forth a smile was rooted in you, he was convinced.
The one object of his affections, the recipient of his love, you were an angel of the highest order. In Billy's life, he'd never expected a woman to find it in her to love a man like him, let alone one as kindhearted as you. Open armed, endlessly forgiving. At the start of this, he had resolved to humble himself before you, to give you what little he had. It would never be enough, he knew. Not for a woman so beautiful she turned heads, so lovely that people were drawn to her like a hummingbird to a wildflower.
Holding you was paradise, kissing you was a strange kind of rush that he'd never get used to. To love someone so purely hadn't been in the cards for him. No, his hand had been repeatedly unlucky, robbing him of any pleasure life had to offer. But the universe had been holding out on him for now he had the best thing in it.
Billy's guilt nearly ruined the whole thing. He knew he was a whole lot less than you deserved, knew he was on borrowed time with you. Sometimes he wondered if the act of having you was a buildup, some new kind of cruel torture where he'd get to taste bliss only for it to be ripped away. With the law on his tail at every turn, he feared the life he'd built would be ripped away at the seams.
Every night when he crawled into bed, weary from the day's work, uttering quiet apologies for making it back so late, you would roll over and burrow into his chest. No words exchanged; they didn't have to be. He'd press grateful kisses to your head and you'd smile sleepily with your eyes closed.
This was heaven. This was a haven. Life with you felt like a dream. He couldn't have imagined it in his wildest fantasies, not in the years he'd spent galloping aimlessly along the prairie with no end in sight. Until he'd stumbled upon an eternal sunbeam bound up in the skin of a beautiful woman.
Now, in the sacred hours of the morning, when waking was laced with dreams, Billy traced the contours of your face with a single finger. Newborn sunlight was seeping through the cracks of the thin curtains, outlining your halo in delicate lines. He held you carefully, as if with one wrong move you'd crack under his hands and disappear into dust.
Your eyelashes fluttered and lifted as the first breath of waking drew from your lips. He watched, transfixed by your every detail, as you began to stir, turning sleepily on your side to snuggle deeper into his arms. It was a routine, one that would never take its place on the shelf of the mundane. He treasured it. Safety, one of the few things in the world he possessed that was adequate to give to you.
Lifting his hand to your hair, he ran two fingers over where it met your forehead like the tide to the sand: tracing the expanse and tucking a strand behind your ear. Billy loved your hair, fingered it like strands of spun gold, twisted it around his fingers in leisurely moments. He leaned down, lips meeting your temple as a quiet good morning.
Outside, the birds were chattering, speaking amongst themselves about the course of the day. The earth was coming alive as you were, as if it had waited for sleep to lift its heavy head from your shoulder.
"Mm," you hummed, nudging your head against his chest. Billy rubbed a hand up your back, where your sleep shirt had ridden up- one of his shirts. He drew hearts into your skin, his fingers the pen.
"Sleepy?" he murmured, using one hand to pull the blanket up over you without letting go. You were always tossing and turning in the night, no matter how sound you slept. It wasn't an uncommon sight for the sheets to be tangled around your legs come morning.
Nodding hazily, you rested one hand flat on his chest. Your left hand, perfect and smooth, only void of one thing: his ring. Billy had it hidden in a special place, waiting for the absolute perfect moment to ask the most important question he ever would. Maybe it was silly, maybe it was old-fashioned, but he wanted it to be special. His mama hadn't raised a gentleman for nothing.
For now he resolved to hold you tight, relishing the angel in his arms. The needs of the day were creeping close, and he didn't want to lose a single second he could be with you. Life gave and it took away-for every task he did reluctantly, he received another day with you.
When it was finally time to relent and drag himself out of bed, he pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead, squeezing you one last time and rising. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, Billy drearily donned his work clothes, buttoning his shirt and pulling each suspender up over a shoulder. He sat at the edge of the bed to tug his boots on one by one.
From where he was sitting, Billy rolled over onto his stomach, crawling back to you without letting his boots touch the bed. Positioned half on top of you, he folded his arms, pressing gentle kisses to your cheeks. "You'll be okay, hm?"
"I'll be okay," you promised, one hand dragging up to his hair, fingers combing through it. Your smile was still lined with exhaustion, and his own lips turned up at the sight.
"Sleepy girl," he muttered, eliciting a breathy laugh from you. Billy leaned in, pressing a kiss to your forehead. "Rest your eyes a little longer. I'll be back in a couple hours, mkay?"
"Mkay," you echoed, and he smiled, thumbing the side of your face once before crawling off the bed and getting to his feet.
With one final lingering look at the pretty girl nestled all cozy in his bed, Billy plucked his hat from the hook on the wall and crammed it on his head, opening and shutting the door gently. His boots clunked a comforting rhythm on the wooden floor, and already he was looking forward to coming back home.
The windows were broken.
That was the first thing Billy noticed when he returned. Gaping holes in the glass, the clear substance scattered across the surrounding grass.
His foot nearly caught in the stirrup as he struggled to get down, paling when he noticed the door was ajar, swinging lazily from previous motion.
In an instant, he was scurrying up the steps, only one thing on his mind. You were still home...he'd left his girl all alone... Flinging the door open, he shouted your name hurriedly, eyes blown wide open as he searched for you. You weren't in the kitchen, nor the bedroom, though the sheets were messy, bed still unmade from this morning. From the paradise he'd separated himself from.
The house was empty, that much was clear. Void of any sign of you. It was both relieving and terrifying. A raw, biting feeling gnawed at his gut. Something's not right. Had you gone for a walk in the nearby forest as you often did, narrowly avoiding the break in? Or had you heard the commotion and managed to escape? He found himself praying, a pleading in his heart to whatever higher power was kind enough to listen. Please let her be okay. Please let her be safe.
Billy tossed his hat aside and rested a hand against the doorframe, any previous energy sapped from him like syrup from a maple tree. His heart pounded an echoing beat into his ribcage, mind overwrought with worries. Where were you?
His prayers began to change. I'll leave her behind so she's safe forever if that's what it takes. All this time he'd thought his presence was protecting you, but if it wasn't he would disappear without a backwards glance, no matter how much it would pain him and you to do so. Maybe you would be better off, without the ever present threats hanging over your heads.
He had been careless to show you off the way he did, to put a target on your back like that. Yet another reason you didn't deserve him. You were a treasure of the highest value, one that shouldn't be kept locked away. It was an impossible situation that he nearly brought himself to tears over. Where was a solution where he could love you and have you and keep you safe at the same time?
Billy wandered over to the kitchen window, despondent and fraught with anxiety. He lifted his eyes wearily to the garden, before something he spotted made his body freeze.
Time went motionless, the seconds seeming to tick backwards and forwards all at once. Billy could have sworn he felt his heart stop for just a moment as the realization carved him open from the inside, bones on display, vulnerable to the attack of emotion beating at them like hail.
His body reacted before he did, feet carrying him out of the house, down the porch steps and into the garden, where your broken body lay like a fallen bird in your beloved patch of flowers, the ones you'd planted early spring. They had begun to wilt at the end of the summer, and now they were your deathbed.
Blood spilt from the gaping wound in your chest, spattering the surrounding petals with crimson. Your white dress, the one you'd always giggled about marrying him in someday, was ruined by the sticky substance, like your heart was bleeding out.
In an instant he was kneeling before you, sliding his arms under your body and lowering himself to you, resting sideways in the flowers like he had this morning in bed. Your eyes were wide open, breathing no more than a whisper, but still there. Achingly, you choked, "Billy...Billy..."
Every portion of his body was drawn taut, the pure shock of the sight before him rendering him useless for anything except holding you. He stroked your hair, trying to soothe you despite the circumstances wearing away at time. "Baby..."
Now you were practically choking on air, brows drawn together, lips parted as you trembled, reaching for him. "I don't wanna die...Billy..."
He could feel tears stinging at his eyes, but held back for your sake, calling on every slight of resistance he possessed. "It's okay, sweet girl," he breathed, bringing you up to his chest with no more than a whimper from you. "Shh, I've got you. You're not alone. I'm here 'n I ain't leavin' you ever again."
"I'm sorry," you managed, chest trembling as tears soaked your cheeks. "I don't wanna...leave you...alone..."
He bowed his head, burying his nose in your hair, body rocking back and forth to soothe you. The last thing Billy wanted was for your final moments to be in distress. Not when the way in which you had lived had so clearly been the opposite. "Shh, sweet girl. You just rest. You were so tired before-" Tears pricked the back of his eyes and he cut himself off, swallowing thickly. Unable to keep the emotion from his voice, he continued. "Everything's okay, my love. I've got you."
Even his love had to be tainted by violence, from beginning to end. Billy smoothed your hair, dried your tears with his fingers, did anything to distract himself from the fact that he'd have to love you longer than he had you. He slid his hand under your jaw, all the while cradling you against him, ignoring your blood seeping through his clothes. Though his chest was heaving and his voice was broken, he found a melody on his tongue, the only thing he could think of to comfort you now.
"As Kathleen fair beyond compare, asleep upon a bank I spied." Tears seeped into each word as he tried to carry the tune. "All upon tiptoe I sought her side, and kissed her down in the daisies." Your breathing grew steadier, and he tried to smile for you, assure you in some way. "But up she starts and on me darts, the shafts of scorn from lip and eye."
Sometimes when you had trouble falling asleep, he'd gather you in his arms and hum quietly, relaxing your body and slipping you into your dreams. This song had been your favorite of the folk tunes in his repertoire, the ones his mother taught him.
Indeed now, it was working its magic, and you looked up at him, your lips turning up just slightly, tears like crystal pearls sliding down your cheeks like rain on a windowpane. He continued to rock you back and forth, grasping you tight as life drained from you quickly as your blood had. "Then in a storm goes sweeping by, and leaves me alone with the daisies."
Your body grew heavy, eyes hazy in a way that made him want to beg, plead, scream at the sky for some kind of answer. You were all he had in the world, his purpose, his love. Desperately, he grasped at you, leaning his forehead down to press a single kiss to your lips. It was the last kiss that mattered. But he hadn't thought it would come so soon.
Now the tears on your cheeks were not only your own. His salt mingled with yours, and he reached his thumb up to brush them away, finishing the song in a cracked whisper.
"But when next day I chanced that way, there Kathleen blushed in all her charms, with sighs she sank into my arms, and we told our love to the daisies."
Billy didn't open his eyes, but the moment you took your final breath he felt it. For a moment he pretended you were only sleeping, that his singing had done the trick and eased you into a dream from which you would wake in the morning. You would snuggle into his side like you always did, ask him for five more minutes before he left. And he would give it to you, never deprive you of anything ever again. "My girl," he breathed raggedly. "Please-"
If you were smiling at him, heart beating steadfastly under his hand when he opened his eyes, he'd give up the gun forever and marry you and relocate somewhere secret and never go another day without showing you how absolutely you consumed him. He'd do all the things he should have done before, everything he'd been putting off. He'd forget about the bastards who'd ended your life simply because you loved him and just be grateful you were still here.
But when he finally lifted his lids, yours were shut, already deep into an eternal rest from which he could never wake you. Not even with his softest kisses, his gentlest of touches. Billy didn't know that he would ever be able to accept what would never be. He would never get to slide his ring on your finger, never see your belly round with his child. He would never see the first strands of grey in your hair or hear your laugh or see your smile directed at him like sunshine in this life.
Still, he grasped at you, held you tightly to his chest, supporting your head when it lulled backward limply. Still, he rocked you back and forth, comforting you when you were long gone. His girl, his baby, his love and light. Right now he clung to every memory in fear that he would lose it. Billy knew how the aftermath of death went. He knew someday he would forget how you smelled, what your voice sounded like, how it felt to hold you. Even though he'd spend whatever time he had left missing it.
There was nothing stopping him from digging your grave and flinging himself in it beside you, no outside force preventing him from finding who'd killed you and begging them to take him too. Your last words: I don't wanna leave you alone.
At that, his tears began to fall, pouring torrentially down his cheeks and silencing any logic. Destiny was cruel, mistaking you for star-crossed when you were meant to be written in the stars. Billy wept into your hair, hoping your spirit wasn't watching. The crush of emotion cracked his being open and let forth everything he'd tried to keep underneath. His strength was fraying, its heart silenced.
You made a mistake, he wanted to shout. You were never supposed to take her. Suddenly the rest of his life stretched out before him like a woeful march, highlighting everything he would have to do without you. What was a soul without its mate, a lover without his love? Loss consumed him like a wildfire, flames licking at his chin. He let himself burn.
Your body was growing icy, and he squeezed you tight to him, rubbing his arms over your body. You hated being cold. His darling sweetheart would cuddle up to him no matter the weather if you felt so much as a goosebump. Billy sheathed you into him, passing you his body heat fruitlessly.
He had to let go. The thought probed Billy unwillingly, and he shook his head, feeling like a child. He didn't want to. He didn't want to dig you a crude grave and lay your broken body down, letting the earth hold you instead of him. He didn't want to say goodbye. He didn't want to wash his hands and body of your blood and burn the clothes it had stained. It felt like tossing aside a piece of you, when there were scarcely any left. Soon, the only thing remaining would be memory.
Billy set that dreadful idea adrift, letting it float out to sea. The waves would lap at it and bring it back to the shores of his mind eventually, but for now it was far away. He breathed in a shuddering way, lips finding your temple and pressing there.
"I've got you, sweetheart," he breathed, caressing your stiffening body. At the very least, he was glad you hadn't been alone. "Just rest."
No longer in an ocean, it drifted around him like coyotes circling a lonely traveler, baring its teeth and poising to strike, launching itself at him and consuming all that he held dear. He squeezed his eyes shut, having hoped shoving it down would erase its fruition. But it bloomed in his broken soul like the flowers you'd died atop.
The final act of love is letting go.
#this is awful#not the fic the fic is wonderful#i'm talking about the shattered mess my heart made on the floor#it's gonna take me days to clean this up#fanfiction: billy the kid
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That's fine I didn't need my heart in one piece anyway. I'm sure it'll be okay.
⋆౨ৎ𝓢𝓸𝓶𝓮𝓭𝓪𝔂⋆౨ৎ
[fem reader] contains: copious amounts of angst, death pairing: billy the kid x fem reader author’s note: I never cry writing and I cried during this so...keep that in mind Pinterest Board Spotify Playlist
The ordinary defines everything. Each last is nothing special at first glance, but in memory becomes momentous. Then it all hits you like a bolt of lightning, sparking a fire that burns everything down.
Ordinary was waking up next to Billy, finding you had shifted in the night, and snuggling back up to him. It was wearing his shirt while you prepared breakfast, and having him come up behind you, arms covering your tummy as a kiss was pressed into your temple. It was giggling and turning around to give him a proper kiss, forgetting about what was cooking on the stove. It was eating your burnt pancakes and him assuring you they were delicious anyways, asking for seconds and beaming as you slipped another charred circle onto his plate.
Tan already from previous hours in the sun, he'd kissed you goodbye, big hand steady on the back of your head, eyes reflecting the beat of his heart for you. "I'll be waitin' for you, sweetheart."
The image of him toiling over the garden for you, shirt half unbuttoned in the sweltering heat of the day, was a pleasant daydream as you went about your business in town. Half-distracted by it, you absentmindedly paid for your things in the general store, meandering over to your horse, packing the saddlebags and climbing on. Steadily, you grasped the reins, spurring the creature into a gallop.
It was one of those days when the world was bright-eyed and open- the first one after so many days of rain. The sun was warm on your skin, and you knew Billy would trace the freckles you surely gained later, when you were both between your sheets, bare and blissful from the act of loving. The air held a promise of hope as springtime always did, the light of new beginnings a guiding path.
The spirit of the season had entered your home without so much as a knock. In recent weeks, Billy had begun to talk of riding out west, somewhere shiny and new where nobody would have heard his name or shuddered at his reputation. You were excited by the prospect, knowing how he had chased a fresh start for most of his life. It had always been just out of reach, or marked by some unseen consequence that set him right on the outlaw's path again. This time was different- you'd be leaving the state entirely. Tentatively, you began to make plans, set money aside. Late summertime, maybe, or early fall.
At night he whispered his dreams into your hair, stroking your collarbone lazily where his arms were wrapped around you. "Gonna get the nicest piece 'f land...and we'll live together, just the two of us. It'll be so nice, baby...you 'n me." Brushing tender kisses to your cheek, he promised it in everything he did. The way he touched you, kissed you, made love to you. It was a promise of someday.
Destiny breathed down Billy's neck, cutting sharp at his heels. It was tangled in every action, sprawled across each word. Somewhere in the back of your mind you feared your time with him would be short, the law hot on his tail. There were people out there who wanted the love of your life dead or alive, who'd do anything for a little bit of money. The thought made you cling tighter to him, though you never breathed a word about it.
So when he spoke of someday, you enthusiastically partook, determined to outrun what loomed over the life you'd built with him.
Tonight, you had agreed to start determining a route, and more importantly a destination. You imagined yourself sitting on his thigh, cheek to his shoulder with the candlelight flickering leisurely as he secured an arm around your waist, the other hand pressed to a map. Every little line was a possibility. Anywhere but here.
Smiling a little at the idea, you tugged on the reins, slowing your horse as the quaint house in which you resided came into view. It wouldn't be where you slept much longer. Your real home was the man who rested next to you.
Dismounting, you unloaded your things, petting the thick neck of the horse fondly. Grass grazed your calves as you made your way to the steps, carefully climbing each and making sure to avoid the one that creaked. The house was quiet when you opened the door, and you figured Billy must still be outside.
Humming to yourself, you opened drawers and cabinets, putting your purchases in their rightful places. The orderliness of your house was something you relished- the domesticity of it all. Out of the corner of your eye, something colorful caught your attention. Turning around, a vaseful of wildflowers, arranged in a messy bouquet, met your vision. He must have picked them for you, a sweet surprise for when you returned.
A smile parted your lips, and you touched the pretty blooms, taking careful notice. The daisies were as pure as the season's first snow, your very favorite flower. Forget-me-nots were scattered among them, the same color as his eyes. You had told him that once, and he'd pressed a kiss to the hand held in his grasp. "That's the nicest thing I ever did hear."
Childhood hadn't been easy on you, its duration long and arduous. Your past weighed on you like a stone, sinking you to the bottom of the river. Somewhere in its depths, you had found him too. In the act of falling in love you subconsciously swore to bring out the beauty of life in each other. Under the blanket of his love, you glowed.
It was just like him to make sure you had something pretty to come home to. Bouncing on your heels, you wondered why he hadn't come in yet. Surely his work hadn't taken him so long to complete. Your Billy was always toiling over the littlest details, wanting things to be perfect for you.
Deciding to go out and give him a break from his labors, you fixed one of the flowers he'd left for you behind your ear and swung the door open, stepping out onto the back porch. Peering out into the open expanse, you frowned when he was nowhere to be found.
Descending the stairs, you searched the area, bewildered. Was he outside at all? Had he gone to your bedroom, exhausted from his activities? You looked down aimlessly, already half decided to go check there.
He was flat on his back, eyes blue as the flower in your hair staring glassily at the sky. A crimson stain on the right side of his chest told the story you would never utter. You did not need to touch him to know he was cold.
The world became a void. There was nothing in it except the shell of the man you loved, lying still at your feet. Every thought you had was inconceivable, voices screaming that you were deaf to. Yesterday was suddenly your golden years.
Deadly calm, you numbly bent to the illusion before you, in the shade of the nearby oak tree. Kneeling and sliding your hand under him, his head found a place in your lap. Smoothing a hand through his hair, you brushed the dirt from it, taking one last look into his eyes before smoothing his lids over them. He didn't need to see you like this.
You saw a myriad of memories dance before your eyes, nearly taunting you. They were so close you could nearly taste them, but they lived in a different realm. You could not have them any more than you could have him.
Waking in his arms, morning light making him akin to an angel. It was so warm there burrowed into him, his body swathing yours like a blanket. Without opening your eyes you could feel his lips against your forehead, his morning tradition. Even when he didn't think you were awake, he was giving you kisses. It was the purest testament of his infinite love, washing over you in waves, rebounding for more before the last had passed.
Tucked in his stiff fist were more flowers. You could picture him studying his bouquet in the kitchen and deciding to come back out for more. Maybe if he'd stayed inside it would have saved him. Though he usually wore his holster, gun tucked at his hip, today it was nowhere to be found. A few feet away laid his hat, abandoned for unknown reasons.
Birds sang cheerfully in the distance, wind whistling softly and swaying the grass against you. It was as if the earth was reaching out, a hand on your shoulder.
"It's okay," you breathed, body operating on pure instinct now. The walls were closing in, and breathing felt like a chore. "You're okay...we'll...we'll just rest here for a moment." Swallowing thickly, you whispered, "We'll pick a place together for you to rest...longer. It's gonna be okay."
Cradling his head in your lap for the time being, you breathed in and out, fingers stroking his pale cheek. Determinedly, you did not look at the wound in his chest, focusing on his face. This was the most peaceful you'd ever seen him. The man you loved, slipped into his forever sleep. It wasn't real to you...but you could see awareness running toward you in the distance, poised to hit you at any minute. Maybe it was stupid, but you'd always imagined you'd go together.
A sudden chirp pierced the air, and you looked to it, seeing a little bird perched on the thick, knotted roots of the tree whose shade you knelt in. The little creature called incessantly, beak pecking the ground beneath its feet. It repeated the motion, as if insisting on something, before taking flight and leaving you.
He wants to be buried there.
A flood of tears stung at your eyes, and you bit the side of your lip, attempting to hold them in, but it was too late. What had been circling you had suddenly crashed, and now there was salt on your skin, falling in pearls down your cheeks like landslides. They darkened his shirt like raindrops, though the sky was clear. Helplessly, you gasped, wanting to stay strong, but the force was cruel, unable to be reasoned with. Sliding his head off your lap, you laid there on the ground beside his lifeless form, ear on his chest desperately searching for the familiar steady thump of his heart. Maybe his blood was on your face now, but you didn't care.
"Please come back," you pleaded, squeezing your eyes shut. "We're not done yet...we have to run away together, remember? And we're going to be happy-" A sob cut you off, and you buried your face in his neck, opposite hand fisting his shirt. You had always known your Billy to be warm, life bursting from the seams of him. It was disheartening to learn how cold he now was. This wasn't him. But it was all you had left.
How fragile a thing life was, how cruel a thief. The universe had given you such a love, one that transcended everything you knew, and then ripped it away, jagged edges left where he used to hold you. The future you had dreamt of, that you had counted on, had exploded into dust, as if it had expired. Dead with the one you'd desired it with.
You would never love again. There wasn't another breathing soul you could give your life to in the way you had him. The grave you would dig when you found it in you to let go wouldn't just be for his shell, but for your heart. If you could have cut out the organ and replaced his still one, you would have. Without Billy, what was the point in having it?
Grief ate at you, turned your lips down and spilled from your eyes, pathetically leaving your body weakened. However much he would have wanted you to keep going was irrelevant. Billy hadn't known how much of your will had stemmed from him.
There were so many things you wished you could have told him. So many things you had needed to do. Someday hadn't only been leaving the county. It had been getting married, something he so desperately had wanted. It had been your belly swelling with his child, growing old together, forever in love and finally free.
Now you were left with that same love, only it had unsheathed a new face, one that twisted an imaginary knife and spoke in absolutes you didn't want to believe. He will never hold you again, never kiss you again. The last time was the last time.
Love had shattered your heart and stilled his. Love separated you from him, became bloodthirsty when half of a whole was torn away.
You lifted your head, hoping he would be looking down at you, that nearly crooked smile breathing life back into your being. But he was still, and the world became greyer.
All that was wondrous and lovely before had dulled, and you were numb to any beauty probing at your senses. You could never look at it the same. Billy had told you once before that it was one of his favorite things about you, how you could find a reason to love anything. You knew now that it did not extend to death.
"I'm so sorry, my love," you murmured, leaning up and pressing your lips lingeringly to his cheek. His stubble scratched your chin, and you knew it would leave a mark. But it would fade away too, because all things end. Everything had to die when you least wanted it to.
"Rest and I'll be here with you." Your voice thinned as tears crept into it. "All is well."
His chosen burial spot beckoned, and you ignored the call, leaning your cheek back over his heart, reassuring both him and yourself. His last words to you echoed in your ears until they drew forth from your lips.
"I'll be waiting for you."
#I made a noise previously unknown to humans#it's so beautiful even if I am currently sweeping up the shattered remains of my heart#fanfiction: billy the kid
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AH! It's perfect! Thank you! <3
In the pale moonlight, Billy looked every bit the knight in shining armor you had dreamt of since you were a little girl. Oh, here he was, ready to sweep you off your feet and spirit you away to a happy ending. I swooned!
Billy protected you like a dragon guarded his treasure, and you knew his habit would increase tenfold in wake of this event. I swooned again! So much swooning cannot be good for my health!
Okay, throwing my hat into the kidnapping fic ring (there's a sentence I never thought I'd say... and probably got me put on some list somewhere) with a twist, where, in an attempt to get Billy to turn himself in, some lawmen arrest the reader, exploiting some legal loophole. And Billy comes to break her out?
୨ৎ⋆𝓫𝓲𝓵𝓵𝔂 𝓫𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝓼 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓸𝓾𝓽 𝓸𝓯 𝓳𝓪𝓲𝓵୨ৎ⋆ 𝓯𝓮𝓶 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓮𝓻 𝔁 𝓫𝓲𝓵𝓵𝔂 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓴𝓲𝓭
The law had never been fair, despite its reputation.
You knew this better than you knew the back of your hand, better than you knew the names of every constellation freckling the sky above. Both you and Billy knew it. But what good was knowing anything you couldn't change? Sitting here now in a darkened cell, cool of the concrete beneath your thighs breaking through the skirt of your dress, you put your head in your hands. How had it all come to this?
It had been a day free of anything out of the ordinary, which was welcome. Being with a man like Billy meant embracing the mundane, growing to love it as dearly as you did him. A day like this was wrought in simple pleasures. The sun on your face as you rode into town. A ladybug that landed on your wrist, allowing you do make a quick wish before it flew away.
Meandering about in the market, you daydreamed happily about Billy coming home later that night. You'd make him something he'd be excited to eat, listen as he told you about his day. And at the end of the night, you would let him kiss you all over, lingering in certain spots as you whispered how much you loved him.
Standing on tiptoes to peer across the square, you spotted a fruit stand, lighting up. Peaches were fresh in season, and your mouth was practically watering at the sight of them. Billy would love to have such a sweet treat when he came home. You began to head in that direction, visions of peach pie and fresh cut slivers dancing through your head.
Just as they were within reach, someone grabbed your arm. Your bag was pulled roughly from your grasp, and a low voice announced that you were under arrest.
A sharp bolt of shock tore through you, eyes widening as you looked up at the men who detained you, the glint of their badges nearly blinding you. In a tone shakier than your hands, you asked, "Under what charges?"
"Cavorting with an outlaw," one growled, binding your hands with the cool metal of handcuffs. Heart beating in your ears, you stumbled forward as they pushed you, breathing heavy, tears stinging your eyes.
"I haven't done anything wrong," you protested tearfully, trying to struggle out of their hold. "Please-"
A silent glare put an end to your struggling, and they escorted you forcefully to the jail, shoving you into a cell without so much as a word. Mind racing, you scrambled for any kind of out. Any sort of solution would present itself to you soon, you were certain.
But your head was drier than the desert, empty except for the single, obvious thought that you were utterly alone. Here in the prison cell, completely shrouded from hope, there was no clear outcome. Why had they chosen now to arrest you, if what you were doing was such a crime? So many times had you been seen out with Billy, one of his arms looped around your waist, nosing a kiss into your hair. Where had the warrant for your arrest been then?
With nothing else to do in sight, you sunk your eyes into your knees, tears falling fast and steady. Everything was tipping precariously, leaning down a chasm of many things terrible. You saw a future of this, of never again seeing another person without bars between you.
It was an awful experience- imagining such things. They only pushed you further over the edge into tears. It felt as though you would never dry up, your eyes producing fresh twin rivers the second you thought it was over. You were despondent, inconsolable. Nothing within your reach could comfort you now.
When the sky grew dark, you scarcely noticed, too lost in your tears to focus on much else. Moonbeams split through the crude window, almost taunting you. To you the sky was freedom, and you didn't have any of that right now. Everything you'd wanted for your future was cracked and shattered, dangled in front of you before being snatched away. It was cruel, the way everything changed in the blink of an eye.
Closing your eyes, you tried to find a reason to sleep. It wasn't like you were going to be able to do anything else. But your tired body refused to slip under the waves of unconsciousness, stubbornly floating above them. You opened your eyes in frustration, staring into blackness. The horror of your situation hit you once more, and a fresh wave of tears soaked your cheeks. How had Billy reacted when he came home to an empty house? Did he know what had happened?
For his sake, you hoped he didn't.
Footsteps sounded nearby and you did not lift your head. There was hardly a point. It was likely another deputy there to tell you you'd be relocated in the morning. Preparing yourself for the inevitable, you sat up, smoothing your hands over your hair and leaning your head against the wall with a quiet thud.
The steps stopped, and you inhaled softly, ready for words that would inflict another torrent of tears. But the voice that spoke instead was familiar. "Sweetheart."
Your head snapped up, eyes widening when you noticed Billy there, clenching the bars as he stared at you through the darkness. Springing to your feet, you ran to him, nearly hiccupping with relief, your tears starting up for an entirely different reason. Billy grasped your face through the bars, thumbs swiping away any tears that came their way. "Oh my baby. What've they done to you?" Billy searched your eyes, seemingly checking for any sign of injury.
"I'm okay," you choked, holding his wrists. "Billy-"
"Shh, shh, sweet girl," he hushed, stroking your cheek, eyes running over your figure in a concerned way. "I'm gonna getcha out of here. Hold on-" He seemed to remember something, letting go of your face and reaching into his pocket for his knife. Bending at the lock, he fiddled with it for a moment before you heard a click, and the door swung open creakily. You flinched at the noise, sure someone would come after you, but no footsteps echoed.
Billy reached a hand into the cell, beckoning to you. "C'mon darlin'."
His hand was the symbol of freedom you had been waiting for- the candle in the darkness you sorely needed. In the pale moonlight, Billy looked every bit the knight in shining armor you had dreamt of since you were a little girl. Oh, here he was, ready to sweep you off your feet and spirit you away to a happy ending.
Stepping forward, you took his outstretched hand, letting him pull you away. The instant you were out of the cell, he slid an arm under your knees, whispering, "One set 'f footsteps is less suspicious."
You buried your face in his neck, clinging tight to him as he carried your tired body down the hallway, careful so his boots hardly made a sound. In his pursuit of the doorway, he managed a kiss to your hair, comforting you as he charted the course to your decided liberty. It was a precious thing he held in his hands.
The night air was a rush, and he tightened his arms around you, doing his best to shield your shivering body from the cold. Clarity cut your being as a sort of realization enhanced your self vision. Had this been a trap? Had they arrested you to lure him into the shadows of the jail, so he would not be able to exit?
When you opened your mouth to ask, he cut you off before you so much as said a word. "Took care of the guards already, baby. Don't worry 'bout a thing."
How had he known? Had someone told him you were incarcerated? Or had word of mouth done the trick? You didn't know, and at the present moment it was hardly important. The blue of your world an hour before was painted back into vibrancy because of Billy's rescue.
Hoisting you upon the horse, Billy climbed on behind you, tugging you snug against his chest. The utter warmth of him heated your back, and you leaned against him, smiling when he nudged a kiss into your temple. "I've gotcha sweet girl. Forever 'n ever."
Riding off into the distance with your outlaw holding you tight, you felt more secure than you had in ages. Billy protected you like a dragon guarded his treasure, and you knew his habit would increase tenfold in wake of this event.
But it was hardly to be minded. When you were finally between the sheets again as you'd dreamt of in the daylight, swaddled in his arms and covered in his kisses, he drenched you in apologies, promising this would never, ever happen again.
"We're gonna go far away from here, sweet thing," Billy murmured, softly pressing his lips to your nose. "Just you 'n me. We're gonna be okay."
Sleepily disarmed by the dart of his love, you nodded, burying your head in his chest once more. Because your Billy had never uttered something so steadfast that he didn't intend to keep.
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Audrey Hepburn with Anthony Perkins in Green Mansions 1959
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Omigosh my heart1 I'm in love!
𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚𝓕𝓪𝓲𝓻𝔂𝓽𝓪𝓵𝓮𝓼𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚
[fem reader] contains: fluff <3 pairing: billy the kid x fem reader summary: princess reader x billy the kid author’s note: enjoy! I had a lot of fun writing this one <3 might do more pending interest :) Pinterest Board Spotify Playlist
Moonlight was your lantern as you rested your cheek against the stone of the window. Stars freckled the skin of the sky and you traced them with your eyes, creating imaginary constellations with pretty names. The delicate scent of roses wafted through your window, making you sigh.
Collapsing your upper half over the windowsill, you stretched your arms out, letting your hair fall over you. You'd just brushed it out, all smooth and silky so it flowed between your fingers. Normally your lady's maid would have helped you prepare for bed, but tonight you'd given her the evening off, determined to do it yourself.
All dolled up in a pretty nightdress, you were practically hanging out the window, eyes roving past the rose-crawled palace walls for any sign. For most of the night you'd paced your pretty pink room, running and pressing your nose against the glass. Eventually you'd unlatched it and pushed it open, letting the fresh air breath into your space.
It was late now. Later than you should have been up. To bode the time you'd tried to distract yourself, organizing your vanity and playing with the ribbons on your sleeves.
A letter laid opened beside you on the pink cushion of the window seat, wax seal broken, paper wrinkled as if the receiver had been clenching it. The words were ingrained in your mind now, you'd read it so many times. It was a comforting thing, imagining his hand toiling over the page, brow creasing as he thought of the perfect thing to say.
Reaching for a strand of your hair, you trailed your fingers down it, anxiously wondering if he was coming at all. He'd never failed to show when he sent word. Had he changed his mind?
You laid back so your head rested on the hard plane of the windowsill, feet on the ground, hair tumbling down the stone wall like a character in one of your storybooks. Closing your eyes, you gave up, one of your hands resting on the letter beside you.
Hoofbeats. Sitting up, you turned your body, nearly falling through the window in anticipation, knees digging into the tiny expanse between the seat and the edge. Though the night was dark, it was clear, and you could see the shadow of a man on a horse, dismounting and wedging his foot into the stone of the garden wall, hoisting himself up over the edge.
You sprung up, racing across your room and flinging the door open. Hair streaming behind you, your feet carried you down the stairs through the secret passage behind the library. Nobody was awake, and the guards were all stationed outside. It was thrilling running through the empty halls alone, skirt grasped in your fingers so you wouldn't trip. The last thing you needed was a bruise on your rosy cheek.
The door only creaked slightly as you snuck through it, creeping under the ivy leaves that kept it hidden. Your footsteps were soft as you padded through the garden. Sneaking behind the pink rosebushes and pushing aside the leaves of the willow tree, your eyes brightened as you saw him, waiting there on the white stone bench. His head was bent, hat pulled low over his eyes as he studied something hidden by his fingers.
When he caught wind of your presence he stood, tucking it into his shirt pocket and sweeping the hat off his head, lowering himself into a deep bow. Voice raspy and low, he murmured, "Princess."
Your feet pattered across the grass as you pushed him to stand up straight, jumping into his arms and burying your face in his neck. He was warm, heating you through your thin nightdress. "Don't do that," you whispered, fingers playing with the curls at the nape of his neck. "It makes me feel unworthy."
Billy was smiling into you- you could feel it. One of his big hands stroked your hair, smoothing it from your journey downstairs. "My love, you're worthy of everythin'."
Pulling your head back, you stood on tiptoes, tilting your chin up and knocking his hat off. He smiled fondly and lifted you up off your feet with arms around your waist, dipping his head to kiss you soft and sweet. Nudging your nose against his, you murmured against his lips, "I thought you weren't coming."
"'m sorry, sweetheart," he whispered, lips trailing across your cheeks as he peppered kisses over your face. "Had a lawman tailing me for a few miles...had t' lose 'im 'fore I could come...'m sorry."
"It's okay." You tried to get in a few kisses of your own, but he was determined. This was a ritual every time he saw you; he had to kiss you all over for the same reason churchgoers had to do the sign of the cross in the doorway. "I'm happy for any time with you."
He sat in the grass and pulled you to sit across his knees, not wanting the green to stain your pretty nightdress. Billy held you tight to him, chin resting on your shoulder as he slightly rocked you back and forth. It was soothing even when you had no need of being soothed.
You played with one of his hands splayed over your tummy, memorizing the details of his fingers. Here was your own tradition where his was kisses. Somehow you'd convinced yourself if you didn't know every detail of him, he'd disappear before your very eyes, leaving you sprawled on the ground alone.
"I missed you," you said plainly, careful to keep your voice low. Though the guards were stationed far away, you knew they weren't above investigating any strange noises that pierced the night.
"Missed you too, baby," he cooed into your neck, lips nudging the spot. "All those nights without my sweetheart...coulda run right through the front gates 'n climbed through your window."
"Oh my darling," you murmured lovingly, turning and putting your arms back around his neck. "I rode out over the hills a few times hoping to see you."
"That's dangerous," he breathed, kissing your nose. "Honey. There's bandits in those woods."
"You're in those woods," you protested lightly, shifting on his lap.
Billy sighed softly, shaking his head and smiling softly. "'xactly. Lotsa scary stuff in there."
"You aren't scary." Nuzzling your cheek against his jaw, you clasped his hand in yours. The feel of his scratchy stubble against your smooth skin was one you adored.
He chuckled, rubbing your back. "'m an outlaw darlin'."
"But you're different," you insisted, and he tucked your hair behind your ear. "You don't keep what you take."
"'s the least I can do," he murmured, a lost look shadowing his eyes. "Don't want less fortunate folk to hafta do what I do t' survive."
Heart warming, you kissed his nose with the gentlest of touches. "That's what makes you different. You're a better person than you've ever given yourself credit for."
Billy smiled in a tired sort of way. He said nothing, just framed your face with his hands, nose bumping against your cheek as his lips found yours. He kissed you lazily for a moment, and you lost yourself in it, the scent of the roses acting as a sort of aphrodisiac. "I love you."
"I love you," you breathed, and he got a tender look on his face, thumbing the side of your cheek. Billy always reacted this way, like he couldn't believe you meant it.
He captured your lips once again, holding you so close that you were nearly melded into one person. The way he touched you was sacred, like you were a china doll he was afraid would break under his rough fingers.
Oftentimes you would daydream that Billy was your knight, like in the storybooks lining your shelves. He would appear before you in the court, gallantly sweeping you off your feet and carrying you away from the restrictions and traditions of your life as it was.
He was everything you'd ever dreamed of, handsome and solid and good. You held him tight whenever you could, wary of the forces threatening to tear you apart. Heaven only knew what the king would do if he discovered your secret. Banish you to marry a prince from a foreign land, maybe. Or worse...send Billy to the hangman's noose.
You held him closer at the thought. He pecked your lips twice, softly bringing you down from the kiss. Big hands smoothed your waist over your nightdress, ghosting the soft fabric. He smiled, leaning back slightly to take you in. "Ya wear this just for me, sweet girl? 's pretty."
Nodding enthusiastically, your hands going to the handkerchief around his neck and playing with it. "And I can see you cleaned up."
"Only the best f' my girl," he grinned, touching his lips to the tip of your nose. "Knew I was meetin' the princess. Course I tried t' look my best."
"I think you're handsome any way," you promised. Billy's fingers fiddled with the lace edging on your sleeves, tickling the ribbon. He looked at it fascinatedly, making you giggle. "Shall I wear this next time we meet?"
"Yeah." The word was out of his mouth instantly, and you laughed softly. Billy trailed his fingers up and down your waist. "You're so pretty, baby. Like an angel." Pulling a rose seemingly from thin air, he tucked it behind your ear.
"You make me feel pretty," you smiled, reaching up to touch the flower. He always had.
"I wish I could do more for you, sweet girl," he murmured, adjusting the rose.
"I have your letters," you kissed his cheek. "And my time with you. What more could I ask for?"
Billy just watched you affectionately for a moment. His hand was under your jaw, tipping your face up to meet his eyes. The blue of them were an icy chasm you longed to throw yourself into. It was those eyes that whispered their way into your fantasies, appeared in your dreams. You could lose yourself in them forever and not mind one bit.
Reaching into his shirt pocket, he pushed your hair behind your shoulders, telling you to close your eyes. Something cold touched your collarbone, and your hand flew up to hold it. There was the sensation of a chain touching your neck, and he carefully pulled your hair up and over it.
You only opened your eyes when he told you to, looking down at yourself. A little silver heart rested there on your skin, and you gasped in delight. "Oh, Billy..."
"You like it, baby?" he brushed a strand of hair behind your flower-less ear. The other arm wrapped around your middle and squeezed your back to his chest.
"Love it," you whispered joyfully, leaning your head back against his shoulder. Now that he had access, Billy brought his mouth to your neck, silently kissing the space. His hand rubbed your side absentmindedly. "Who did you take it from?"
His words were muffled against your skin. "Countess of Rothshire."
Fingering the chain, you said, "She was mean to me at last fortnight's ball."
"I know," he mumbled, lifting his head to glide his lips over the space behind your ear. "Thought it'd look better on you."
You giggled in delight. "My hero. Avenging my honor."
"Ain't no hard thing," he insisted, pulling back and settling one hand on top of your head, thumb brushing your hairline. Billy kissed your temple soundly, leaning his head against yours. "The least I can do, honey. You're my princess, too."
Looking at him with his earnest eyes and loving heart, you knew he was forever yours. Even if you became a spinster and only was ever able to meet him behind the leaves of the willow trees, he would come back to you over and over. Your soft, lace trimmed world was brighter when he held you this close, kissed you this sweet.
"Only the best for my sweetheart," he breathed, the stars in his eyes alike to the ones in the darkened heavens above. "I'm only one of many men before you."
With that he laid back in the grass, pulling you to rest on top of him. He kissed you tenderly until the sun broke through the leaves of the trees, alerting the princess and outlaw that it was the time of day when he was forbidden to touch you anymore.
#i honestly love billy as a robin hood-esque figure#i watched a doc on the really billy the kid a while back#and they called him the 'first good bad boy'#and tbh i think that's really fitting#i just wanna write all the billy fairytale/princess au's#does anastasia count as a fairytale? idk i'm adding that to my wips#so many wips and what do i have to show for it?#um... an obsession that nobody in my personal life would understand
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What does it say about us when our fantasies involve being kidnapped/our loved ones being kidnapped?
y'all in my asks are loving kidnapping fics lately
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Oh, this is the most precious thing!
I adore you both @francixoxoxo @lopsnpops 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚𝓫𝓲𝓵𝓵𝔂 𝔀𝓱𝓮𝓷 𝔂𝓸𝓾'𝓻𝓮 𝓭𝓻𝓾𝓷𝓴𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝓯𝓮𝓶 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓮𝓻 𝔁 𝓫𝓲𝓵𝓵𝔂 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓴𝓲𝓭
Maybe it had been a mistake to bring you out to one of the wild parties the Regulators threw every fortnight or so, but Billy hardly regretted it now.
Under the winking stars you were as lovely as ever, hair unwoven from your rope of a braid, eyes sparkling as the lake did when the sun's rays hit it exactly right. He wound an arm loosely around your waist, simply enjoying the angelic sight of you. The colossal bonfire gave you a halo that only further encouraged your paradisical image.
You were literature to him, practically the Bible. A book he could pore over time and time again and find something new with every page. And indeed, he read your verses like a devoted saint.
As you accepted a drink from one of his men, saying something that made him laugh, Billy pressed a kiss to your hair. It was hard to forget how charming you were. How lovable his girl was in every sense of the term. You were a siren's song, a call he would answer every time. Your laugh was a sound tuned to his senses, an aphrodisiac he couldn't help but breathe in.
The night morphed into a cacophony of music and the laughter of men, smoke from the fire drifting through the camp and tickling the noses of everyone present. Women both hired and invited hung off the arms of Regulators, both feasting on the mystery of the night and allowing it to overcome them.
Billy hadn't noticed exactly how much whiskey you'd indulged in until he heard your ringing laughter echoing over the content buzz of the partygoers. Turning his head from a lulling conversation, he saw you across the fire, giggling delightedly at something of which he was unsure of the context.
He knew he should feel concerned at your drunken state, but truthfully, as he made his way over, grass crunching under his boots, all he could think about was how adorable you were.
"Havin' a good time, darlin'?" he teased good-naturedly, approaching you with a steady grin.
You turned around and saw who he was, face immediately splitting into a smile that seemed to glow in the dark. "Billy!" Throwing your arms around him, you buried your face in his neck. "BillyBillyBilly. I love you, did you know that?"
Chuckling, he indulged you, arms securing you against him. His name in your mouth was a hymn he wasn't sure he'd find in any chapel. Divinity was his best description of you, and its lack of earthly context made it all the more fitting. Even with alcohol on your breath, you were heaven sent.
"I'll never complain 'bout you remindin' me, baby," he said, kissing your nose gently. As he did, your eyes lit as something that struck him like lightning.
You stood on your tiptoes, bouncing up and down on your heels. "I love you!" Reaching up as high as you could, you pressed your lips to his cheek in a darling show of affection.
"How many whiskies didja have, pretty girl?" Billy tilted your chin up with his fingers, examining your eyes. "You're walkin' in wavy lines darlin'."
"Oh..." you furrowed your brow into an adorable crease as you thought. The amount of contemplation it was taking to recall it lifted the corners of his lips like a sunrise. "Three maybe?"
"You're a lightweight if there ever was one, sweetheart," he laughed, keeping his hold tight on your waist as you leaned back in his arms, head lulling so you could look at the moon. "Think it might be time to go home."
You frowned, pouting slightly in that way he couldn't help but adore. Billy was utterly helpless to finding anything you did endearing. He was up to his elbows holding you by your waist, knowing that if he let go you'd fall backwards. "But I still wanna talk to more people. And watch the stars. And get another drink-"
"Woah, woah, baby doll," he countered, shaking his head and breathing a laugh. "You ain't gettin' any more drinks. We're gonna go home so you can sleep this all off."
Lower lip pushing out, you shook your head. "But...but I wanna..." you let go of him and attempted to take a step, but your knees began to give out.
Swiftly, he caught you, hoisting you up by your waist and prompting you to wrap your legs around him. "Alright...c'mere angel baby, up y' go..." The surrounding party was too lost in the splendor of drink and company to pay you any mind. "You're trouble tonight, sweetheart."
He managed to balance you on his horse and get you home, skillfully opening the door with his foot while carrying you. You babbled sentences he couldn't determine the meaning of, but he still listened, nodding attentively. "Mhm. You're right my love."
Laying you down in bed, he attempted to detangle himself from you in order to find some water to quell the alcohol in your system. You frowned and tugged on his arm, shaking your head persistently. "No, don't leave."
"Just gettin' ya some water, honey," he tried, but you held fast.
The image of you this clingy and wanting for his mere presence was more valuable to him than any jewel he had thought so previously. Every single adjective for beautiful ran through his head as he looked at you, your hair spread over the pillow, dress hiked up to your thighs. He was lost in you for a moment.
Oh who was he kidding? Billy couldn't refuse you a single thing. He knelt and worked his boots off, stowing them beneath the bed and loosening the handkerchief around his neck. Untying it and folding it on the nightstand, Billy settled on the bed, tucking you under his arm and nuzzling his chin in your hair. He dropped his lips to your head, thumb rubbing your arm.
"You're a cute little drunk," he murmured, cuddling you close. He shifted to his side and threw one of his legs over yours. You buried your face in his chest, pressing kisses to him there.
"You know this'd be nicer if you took your shirt off," you muttered, and he hid a laugh in your hair.
"Mm, would it now, sweet girl?" He tried to respond seriously, his voice breaking just slightly.
"You just look so good without it." You looked up at him, appearing to be deep in thought once more. Then you said, "And without your pants."
Billy clenched his jaw to try and hide the laugh that nearly slipped out. "To be completely fair you look real pretty without your dress too."
"You're pretty all the time," you hummed, and he was enchanted all over again. Reaching a hand up, you smoothed his hair, pushing it back from his forehead. He let you, enjoying the feel of your hand like silk over his roughened skin. An outlaw's way, though he'd sand down his edges if you desired so.
Your sweetest quality was your pure love for him exactly how he was. He would change every bit of himself for the mere opportunity to love you. And yet to his luck he was allowed to do exactly that, heart and mind exactly as it was.
Billy looked down at you, dozing off with your head resting on your shoulder, a drunken sleep engulfing you. His angel.
In the morning when you awoke and complained of a headache, he'd be right there to draw the curtains and block the sunlight, to be your pillow and mattress.
He'd bring you water and snuggle himself against you until you were fully lucid again. The love for the woman in his arms wasn't dependent on being drunk or sober.
Watching you sleep, his fingers brushed a strand of hair from your cheek. You were sloppily spread across his chest, dress falling off your shoulder, makeup smeared under your eyes. He smiled at the sight of you. That was the woman he was going to marry.
Planting a series of kisses on your head, he smushed his cheek into you. Billy's eyes shut as the only emotion he'd ever felt holding you overcame him.
Adoration.
#yeah have a drink#we've go a long ride home and you'll be more pleasant with a drink in you#honestly this is the most relatable thing#i'm the biggest lightweight#my mom once said#fanfiction: billy the kid
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Waist…belt…yes….
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I will cry 😭🫶
#my beloved girls#while i like scarlett and amy better as characters#(what can I say? they're a hell of a lot more fun)#these are the ones i want to be like#you know apart from the dying young#i always wanted to be the soft sweet kind forgiving girlie#instead of the asskicking girlboss
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