intp-mom

[intp-mom]

INFJ: :) ok. I hope you sleep well. Btw don't behave too much tomorrow :p

INTP: Wait I thought you said *to* behave :p

INFJ: No, I realized you need to be a little devious or else you'll be sad, so, go ahead :p

[intp-mom]

Discussing reproductive systems

ENTJ-child: Why do girls have to have periods?

INTP-mom: *explains about uteruses and stuff*

ENTJ: Do boys have uteruses?

INTP: No, only girls.

ENTJ: What do boys get instead of periods? An easier life?

INTP: Um. Yes.

[intp-mom]

Before INTP goes on a 500 mile road trip

INFJ: You should bring a kayak

INTP: I don't think that will fit in my car...

INFJ: You can strap it to the top of the car

INTP: I could attach wheels to it and pull it behind the car

INFJ: That's a good idea

INTP: It would probably fall apart though because I wouldn't know what I'm doing. "This kayak car wasn't built for going 70 miles an hour!"

INFJ: 70 miles an hour?!

INTP: ...?

INFJ: You never go that slow

[intp-mom]

(accidentally bought "frozen dairy dessert" instead of icecream)

INTP: This isn't sufficient. They shouldn't be allowed to package this exactly like ice cream and trick people into purchasing inadequate frauds. It needs a warning label.

INFJ: Is that what you're eating for breakfast...

INTP: Um. No comment.

[intp-mom]

Grocery lists

INTP-mom, ISFP-child and ENTJ-child go to the grocery store

INTP: hmm, okay, so, what do we need...

ISFP: donuts!

ENTJ: *pulls out list* I did put donuts on the list actually

INTP: you made a list?

[intp-mom]

Feelings

INFJ: It'll be okay :)

INTP: It doesn't feel like it yet.

INFJ: Feelings are real but they're not always accurate

INTP: Ti is not available to answer your text. Please leave a message after the beep.

INFJ: That's kind of ironically Ti sounding to me...

INTP: Shhhh :p

[intp-mom]

INTP: *complaining about complicated tax situation*

INFJ: Are you sure there isn't a better way to do it?

INTP: Well I could pay someone but I'd rather keep the money

INTP: I'm doing it the best way I know how

INFJ: Yes. Hmm, ok. I'm just really curious about what the best way to do it is

INTP: Infiltrating the IRS and destroying them from the inside?

[intp-mom]

Me being absent-minded this morning: put garlic bread and frozen waffles on a baking pan, turn on the oven, forget to put the pan in the oven

[intp-mom]

So I was lazy and didn't change the clocks because, it's Sunday and who cares what time it is?

Then ENTJ realized a bit ago that the clocks were wrong. 

Now all the clocks have been set correctly. ENTJ to the rescue!

[intp-mom]

INTP: (five feet from light switch) Can someone turn on the light switch in here?

ENTJ: (ten feet from light switch) ISFP, can you turn on the light switch for INTP?

ISFP: (in another room entirely, probably fifteen feet away) ENTJ you’re closer!

ENTJ turns on the light switch.

[intp-mom]

ENTJ’s room is the only consistently clean room in this house.

[intp-mom]

Stuff

Our stuff spends so much time being not where it’s supposed to be, that when it actually *is* where it’s supposed to be, I can never find it, because I don’t look there.

[intp-mom]

Zebra alien robots

INTP: My little people are in bed. If you’re up for a game of chess tonight, let me know.

IxxJ: Little people?!

INTP: hah, well, yes. My children are little, and they are people.

IxxJ: Are you sure?

INTP:  wellll....I'm *fairly* sure. I suppose they could secretly be zebra alien robots sent from space to disguise themselves as humans and spy on me...

IxxJ: Oh dear

IxxJ:  Well I think a game of chess would be a good distraction from all that

INTP: ...

INTP: that sounds like the kind of thing a zebra alien robot would say...

[intp-mom]

That moment when you’re trying to take a selfie and then you realize you had the camera pointed at someone else and now they’re looking at you weird because they think you were taking their picture....

Yeah.

[intp-mom]

Always #2

(while watching a movie together)

Child: Why did that just happen?

INTP-mom: Because that’s what the people who made the movie decided should happen.

[intp-mom]

Always.

(while looking at a book together)

Child: Why does her face look like that? (pointing to illustration)

INTP-mom: Because that’s the way the artist drew the picture.

[intp-mom]

INTP Dating

INTP: I think my ideal match would be an INFP, or maybe an INFJ, but one who is willing to be straight forward and direct with me from the start about the relationship and where it’s going so I don’t have to deal with all that confusing stuff.

INFJ friend: So...basically, not an INFP or INFJ...

INTP: Wellll....