intollerence

[intollerence]

i wish i could open myself up and show you everything i did for you. i wish i could take back the times i bled for you. when i punished myself for your problems. i opened my skin up to make sure i was still alive. i watched my blood fall off my skin amd felt better. like a drug addict when they finally got their dose of drugs. i wish i didnt give my heart, soul, and body up to you. i wish i didnt ever let you take control of my head. you made me think things and feel things that were mever there until you found your way out.

you cant run from your problems all the time.

[intollerence]

11:16 AM I like to think of myself as a suitcase. i like to think of my feelings as the things that go in the suitcase. i have like 7 stress balls that are filled with anxiety and anger. i pack so many cause i rip them to pieces, cause i dont use anything the right way. i have a giant, heavy blanket so it’s easier for me to sleep alone so my depression doesn’t keep me awake at night. i have journals to keep up with myself and the people around me because im forgetfull. ill write everything down so i remember. all my long sleeve shirts and pants, it may be summer but every day is sweater weather. i cant risk anyone saying anything to critisize me if im covered. thats why i keep all those things in my suitcase to let my owner carry me around.

-my owner is the mental disorders i let control my life

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🌱

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i can’t remember what our love felt like. i wonder if it was ever worth it at all if now all i remember is the pain you left.

[intollerence]

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https://www.instagram.com/tanya/?g=5

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