insertcoolmonikerhere

[insertcoolmonikerhere]

every so often i go to post something and then realize it's actually insane. and then i have to make a post like this where i can say the thing without people thinking i'm entirely un-self-aware. the post this time was going to say "i can't believe there are people out there who categorically only dislike pain like 100% of the time"

[insertcoolmonikerhere]

"Guy" and "man" have different connotations with adjectival nouns. Like "tree guy" = arborist but "tree man" = he lives in a tree, or maybe he is a tree.

[insertcoolmonikerhere]

where the fuck is the marijuanica (marijuanikkah ?) the picture i need it. the joints.

[insertcoolmonikerhere]

bitches hate me because of my.... bad personality.... paranoid nature... addictive tendencies......the torture basement.

[insertcoolmonikerhere]

give it up for girls with vaginas and boys with penises

[insertcoolmonikerhere]

wlw tumblr post notes simulator

[insertcoolmonikerhere]

no. but it is good

[insertcoolmonikerhere]

I am genuinely not advocating for a return to queerbait tv, I was vocally against it the whole time it was happening that was like my whole shtick for a while but it is kind of wild that when gay people weren’t allowed on tv, gay characters (who weren’t allowed to be gay) would be drinking poison for each other and killing bad guys for each other romantically and offering to go to prison in each other’s place and now that we are allowed to have gay people on tv…gay people will just be having a healthy conversation and going going on a date like normal people. Get OUT of my face with that

[insertcoolmonikerhere]

I don't fuck w nerds, the moment I can smell lore correction coming I'm like "Oh Neptune" and I gotta call my mom and ask her to pick me up

If I'm like "I really liked the scene where Gandalf learns the truth about the Ring in the first movie" and someone's like "Oh you mean when he was in Minas Tirith, originally known as Minas Anor when it was first built in the Third Age?" I am pulling the nearest fire alarm

[insertcoolmonikerhere]

i love having friends with favorite colors & shit so i can just send them random crap like yess this is pink ill show it to the pink friend this has a fish ill show it to the fish friend. fish is a color btw

[insertcoolmonikerhere]

"who is that beautiful man in the fanart on my dash": a guide

he looks terrible and he's wearing long flowing robes: that's jesus of nazareth

he looks terrible and he's wearing a green shirt: that's jonathan "jon" sims the archivist

he looks amazing and he's wearing a green shirt: that's armand de vorced

[insertcoolmonikerhere]

i've noticed just how often achilles' dragging of hector's corpse is framed mostly as an act of extreme disrespect, or only some brutal show of triumph. personally i think that's underselling both achilles' intention and what the trojans must be thinking as they watch it happen.

hector's corpse is divinely protected so it can't be damaged by the greeks after death; all that effectively happens in the iliad is that his body gets dirty. but under normal circumstances (and i'm not gonna impose realism on mythology, but the iliad is famously detailed when it comes to bodily trauma), the physical reality of dragging a corpse along stony ground for miles would be severe disfigurement and dismemberment. first the skin would wear off, then soft tissues, then extremities would start to detach. i think the iliad's original audience would be aware of that as an intended outcome.

achilles (who doesn't yet know that hector's body has been granted divine stasis) doesn't just want to parade his enemy's corpse around, he wants to tear it apart ("i only wish that this fury inside my heart would drive me to carve you to pieces and eat your flesh raw..."), he wants it to not resemble a human anymore. he wants hector's blood and flesh to circle the city of troy. he wants to make it impossible for hector's family to gather the pieces of him to cremate and that way hector's spirit won't find passage into the underworld. that's what the gods are preventing from happening, they're not just keeping the corpse pretty for priam to pick up later.

[insertcoolmonikerhere]

guys. please

[insertcoolmonikerhere]

Squidward clocking out of the Krusty Krab and heading to the nearest gay after hours event 

[insertcoolmonikerhere]

they should make a skin picking that’s good for you

[insertcoolmonikerhere]

[insertcoolmonikerhere]

Mario is gay as hell for having a picture of Peach in his house and I know that's the opposite of being gay but it's gay in like a straight way