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omg hiii its been so long

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Blythe Baird // Dave Eggers

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Just some thoughts on turning twenty.

Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice (the fact twenty-one is the cut off, the time when women must become self-conscious of their age. It’s a different time, sure, but it’s still strange to be on this precipice…), Mitski, ‘Class of 2013′, extract of a poem I wrote (tormented by how birthdays sometimes seem an endurance test, it is a miracle to still be alive, to have outlived others, the privilege of growing up and growing old, and yet it is all so exhausting to know you still have decades of life to get through, joy and pain, etc.), Unknown seventeenth-century painter from the Veneto, Portrait of Angela Adorni Sbardellini, Prioress of the Zitelle (I like the contrast between her and her costume, the complicated creases and folds vs her still young face, she seems a girl peeking out of an adult body), Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals, Florence + the Machine, ‘Free’, picture of Marilyn Monroe at twenty, Luke Hemmings, ‘Diamonds’ 

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“you’re so polite with your sadness. you don’t want to ruin this for anyone.”

— — Silas Melvin, from “Twenty,” Grit

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i am aware of the problems. however. i would rather be comfy in my bed. good night.

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https://www.instagram.com/p/BUYCT4tAUyB/

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every day i get my heart ripped out & every day i simply just continue

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you didn't survive this long to only survive this long

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"what music do u listen to" i don't know playlists?

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i need another hour to wake up after i wake up

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I think I can stop being online once I can be okay being alone I come here to stop the thoughts stop the sleepy stop the stressed and sometimes it's nkt that big of a deal and soemtimes it gets bad and I think if I just can be a little more at peace I can stop unlocking my phone ever single minute