insanemommy-blog1

[insanemommy-blog1]

Depression and Motherhood

Okay i haven't written in a few days life has been pretty hectic i guess you could say and have been getting ready for the kids birthday party coming up. Anyways i have always struggled with depression since i was a teenager and my childhood was pretty shitty. My depression didn’t get super bad after i had Scarlett, it was eh but wasn’t the worst it has ever been. After i had Mason is when it got so bad and it hit me hard within the 24 hours after having him. Mostly because he has a tongue tie and wasn’t getting enough breast milk so he was constantly latched on my boob. So sleepy mamma and my hormones all over the place didn’t help so my depression went into full swing. Then it got semi better until my husband got out the Army and now has a traveling job so he was away a lot and i was by myself with two kids 2 and under. With him gone and it was just me and the kids and i had no friends since we had just moved to a new town so i was so far into my depression had also turned into anger most days it was bad.Now he hasn't worked in two and a half months and im having a hard time fining a job so safe to say my depression is still there but isn’t as bad but it still affects me as a mom because i barley ever want to actually be around the kids i barley wanna spend time with them or do the things i have to do for them. I oush myself to do it every day but i know i have to do it because they need me i just hate it and i hate myself because i just can’t do it much longer. Depression and motherhood are hard and almost impossible. I know i can get through this it might take me awhile since my life is just at the bottom of the shit hole but eventually i will get better and life will eventully start looking up for my little family.

[insanemommy-blog1]

Pageant Mom

Okay here it goes my very first official blog post. Today i would like to talk about my life of being a pageant mom. I know a lot of people and moms do not like child beauty pageants and i can see why. Toddlers and Tiaras made a bad stigma probably since some of the moms on there gave their child coffee and energy drinks. Well for me i do it because my daughter loves being on stage and loves all the attention she gets.I just have to be sure she gets plenty of sleep of night before otherwise we have a sassy three year old on our hands. Besides all of that i enjoy watching her dance and smile and wave and blow kisses at the judge. We don’t do it to win we do it to have fun and for her to meet other girls who may have the same interest in them as well, She does have a pageant coach Miss Jenna Rogers, Scarlett loves her so much and always has a blast with her. We just started with a coach about two-three months ago and has improved a lot! We just went to a pageant this past weekend and it was the first biggish pageant she has done. Usually she does natural pageants where she only wear Sunday best dress which is just a smock dress. This weekend was a natural mini national pageant. She pulled out of her division (she got higher than a queen). We also got to enjoy time at the water park as well at the great wolf lodge it was also her birthday weekend as well! She received 0-2 Overall Most Beautiful Supreme. She has fun got candy and cupcakes and go to the water park even though it was exhausting for me she had fun and that all the matters at the end of the day! Well if you enjoyed the specific topic let me know and maybe i can write more about her beauty pageant journey as well in this blog.

   Much love,

                Ciara<3

[insanemommy-blog1]

Welcome

Hello and welcome to my blog. I am here to post about my day in the life of this struggling mom! Struggling to do the right thing by my babies. I am a 24 year old mom and Army veteran. I have two babies a 3 year old daughter (Scarlett) and a 1 year old son (Mason). Hopefully you moms can relate to some of the blogs that i will write and maybe cna give some advice if you also have been in the same position before as well! Here is to a successful mommy blog and maybe some mommy friends as well.

Hope you all enjoy my blog

    Much love,

            Ciara