inlovewithdeadgaywizards

[inlovewithdeadgaywizards]

On again, off again

Regulus had just broken up with James. James was absolutely devastated. He was crying, shitting, throwing up. Eyeliner was streaming down his face. He had my chemical romance on earbuds with string so he could strangle himself

Flying always managed to calm him down. He walked over to the broom shed to pick out his favorite broom. It was a gorgeous nimbus 1978 with long, thick bristles. It’s wood was so nice and hard. Broomsticks were so reliable. Not like boyfriends. A broomstick would never break up with you, a broomstick would never go soft. James got on to the pitch and took his broom for a ride. He was so good at riding things. Riding a broomstick up in the air was truly euphoric. He started grinding against the broom with his member. James was a virgin. He hadn’t done anything more than kissing with Regulus. He continued to ride the broom. The broom was hardwood. Just like his wood.

He felt the soft bristles. If you think about it bristles are a bit like pubes. They’re both attached to a stick and a bit like hair. He continued to grind against the broom with his length. He let out a sharp moan as the wood hit a particularly sensitive spot. He ducked down and rested his chest on the broom. He stuck out his tongue and sensually put it on the wood. He licked up the stick. He could feel the wood in his mouth. He got a splinter, but he didn’t care. It felt too good. He grinded his member onto the broom a bit more before lowering them both to the ground so that they could have some alone time. He landed on the ground with shaky legs and an extremely hard large pole.

He went to find the nearest broom shed, which just so happened to be where his broom took residence. He knew it at that moment. He was in love, and he was going to lose his virginity. To this broomstick. He acted like it was a normal situation. This was his partners house, and they were going to do some experimenting together. It’s probably a good idea to know the name of the one you’re losing your virginity to, so he decided to name the broomstick Gru. He also decided to ask their pronouns, for good measure. Gru uses he/they/it pronouns. He firmly took the broom into his hands and began stroking it. He slowly took of his shirt, then unzipped his pants. He finally took of his boxers and his member sprung up, gasping for air, happy to experience the freedom. His length was drooling precum.

He asked Gru for permission to touch himself. Entirely against his expectation the broom answered: “Only if you touch me first” The broom had grown a mouth!

James firmly stroked the broom, putting his long, slender fingers on it’s wood, and stroking up, then down, and then up again. Gru let out a sharp moan and a load groan. “Your hand is so tight, Jamie” Gru moaned.

James smiled to himself at that. He then wrapped a hand around himself, and began fumbling with his balls. He then stroked his length and let out a high-pitched moan. “Let me take care of that for you” Gru said as he wrapped his bristles around James’ member. James moaned at the feeling.

“God, Gru, you’re so tight.” James was on the verge of releasing. “My magic wand feels funny” James groaned. He released a huge load.

“Cum for me baby” Gru said. James felt dizzy, he could feel stars. He felt like he was floating. That was the best orgasm he had ever had.

They looked out of the shed window up at space “Look, there’s Uranus” James said, pointing at the planet.

“I know something we can do with your anus” Gru said as he moved towards James. He pressed themselves against James’ naked body. He moved to James’ arse and started exploring his cave of wonders. Gru entered his pleasure gate. “God, you’re so tight Jamie”

“G-G-Gr-Gr-Gru, you’re s-s-s-so b-b-b-big.” James stuttered and stammered, trying to hold back a moan. The broom thrust into James, slowly. “P-P-Please”

“Please what” Gru teased “Use your words Jamie”

“Please fill me with your babies” James begged.

Gru gave a couple more hard thrusts. James was a moaning mess beneath him. they then blew their load into James’ cave between his crevice. James could feel sticky gooey tree sap in between his voluptuous peach cheeks. It felt wonderful. James loved having gooey tree juice up his arse. It felt wonderful. He loved the feeling of his anus sticking to itself. He loved being filled to the brim by sticky gooey substances. He came at the feeling.

That’s when Regulus walked in, holding a broomstick of his own. He saw James, right as he was blowing his load. Regulus was rock hard, just from the sight. He took of his pants, and shoved the broomstick up his arse. Regulus and James moaned in unison. “W-what’s your brooms name?” James asked breathily

“It’s swimmer” Regulus moaned. “ And drown uses they/it/drown pronouns”

“Reg you’re so tight” Swimmer moaned as it thrusted into reg and then wrapped his broomussy around James’ girth. James and Regulus were moving back and forth to create as much friction as possible, until both of them came at the same time. James cam into the bristles, spilling his manmilk all over swimmer. Regulus’ special sauce landed on Gru. Gru let out a deep moan.

They went outside to wash off. James spotted a garden hose and went to stand under it. He could feel the obnoxiously cold water against his rock hard abs. Regulus joined him under the cold shower.

“Why on earth would you ever want to shower that cold. It’s horrible. This is the reason why I broke up with you in the first place.” Regulus snapped at him

“Showering cold is good for your muscles Regulus, you wouldn’t understand because you’re just a skinny twink.” James replied

“I love your tight muscles” the younger boy whispered

“I love your child bearing hips”

“I missed you”

“I missed you too”

“Do you want to get back together again?” the paler boy asked him

“Fifth times the charm, we won’t break up this time” the older boy promised him

[inlovewithdeadgaywizards]

Danny Zuko(grease) is the love child of Sirius Black and James Potter

[inlovewithdeadgaywizards]

Bella, a human: *drinking blood* delicious

Edward, a vampire: *crying* what the fuck

[inlovewithdeadgaywizards]

Via Pinterest (I don't own any of these; if you're the author DM me I'll credit you)

[inlovewithdeadgaywizards]

My dad: listens to a Tailor Swift playlist once

Me: oh my god dad are you a sWifTIe

[inlovewithdeadgaywizards]

Church is just one big book club.

[inlovewithdeadgaywizards]

Don't call me out like that bestie

Sirius: Why do you have to write down each and every word. It's so nerdy.

Remus: Writing things down in nerdy? What do you do then?

Sirius: I just forget stuff, like a cool person.

[inlovewithdeadgaywizards]

Please tell me there is a fanfiction af this. Where can I read it, please?

[inlovewithdeadgaywizards]

Remus: I like wearing oversized sweaters. Not just because they're extremely comfy and cuddly, but because whenever the sleeves are really big, I get to flop them around and smack people.

[inlovewithdeadgaywizards]

This is actually what happened with Jesus

remus: what if I die and people I hate put shit on their stories like fly high angel?

remus: I'd resurrect out of pure spite

[inlovewithdeadgaywizards]

listened to Bohemian Rhapsody today… i’m so very sorry

[inlovewithdeadgaywizards]

Reading angst:

Owchie

Where does it hurt?

EVERYWHERE

[inlovewithdeadgaywizards]

It's obviously 4

I’m really into internet discourse but only pointless and stupid internet discourse like how many holes there are in a straw (it’s 2)

[inlovewithdeadgaywizards]

Or James and Sirius

Grover and Percy dis u?

[inlovewithdeadgaywizards]

very jealous of mfs who can argue without crying like HOW do u do it

[inlovewithdeadgaywizards]

Remus:English

James:PE

Sirius:acting

Peter:science

Dorcas:art

Lily: math

Mary: music

Marlene: history

what do y’all think would have been the marauders favourite subject if they went to like muggle school?

[inlovewithdeadgaywizards]

When one of your fave fics update and now you're happy again

Part II, Chapter 3 is now out!

In this one: The summer passes, and Halloween approaches