ingydarwp

[ingydarwp]

If the apocalypse never happened, what would life be like for Tiger and Jackie? Also if Jackie wasn't Doomed™ what would have happened to her? Would she be with the group or still be Doomed™?

i think if the apocalypse never happened, they would eventually live very normal lives. jackie would go away to college and get to be independent and only look after herself, rather than having to take care of her sister all the time. she'd do all the boring adult stuff like grow up, get married, have children and become a teacher. she deserves that sort of peace.

tiger is a little trickier to place. although her canon life is far from ideal, i think she was made for the apocalypse, and i can't imagine her in a different world. she'd be both under and overstimulated. can you imagine tiger getting a job? me neither...

it's tricky to say where jackie would be if she wasn't doomed, because from the very beginning, her story has always ended in tears. i've changed her fate many times, but never once has it been pretty. i don't think the universe would ever let her and tiger be together, though. if jackie wasn't doomed, she'd live in some community or civilisation that tiger never found. they'd miss each other forever and ever, but at least in that reality, jackie would be ok.

[ingydarwp]

This is funny to me only but everytime you talk about Jackie, all I can think of is Jackie by Redzone. Same applies to Jackie Taylor. That song was everywhere growing up and it's all I think of when I hear the name, it's worth a listen even if it's a wild song.

i read this last night and i was hunting for this song but i couldn't find it!! idk if i'm just being dumb or smth but the internet won't let me see :((

[ingydarwp]

Did you watched the finale of Yellowjakcets s3?? I'm gonna be so fr all I could think was "the scenepacks are going to BE SO GOOD"

i haven't seen it yet!! i'm deeply afraid bc i've heard scary things from my friend toby, but i'm always excited for new jackie mallory scp opportunities so regardless of whether or not i enjoy the episode, at least i'll get some fun new stuff out of it :))

[ingydarwp]

is yellowjackets worth the watch ?? ive been questioning if i should for a while now and idk i kinda want to get some else’s opinion

absolutely!! i've been watching since a few months after the first season dropped, so i've been here forever and ever, and i'm a big recommender of it!! icl, i do NOT like the fandom that's formed ever since it dropped on netflix, and s3 is not the best, but disregarding those factors, i think it's definitely worth the watch!!

[ingydarwp]

Hi 😊 You said something about "notion pages" in a post I saw and I am wondering what that is. Thank you bye!

hihi!! notion is this website/app that people often use to organise events and work or other related stuff!! i just use it to organise my fics.

it basically means i can have a page that has all these subsections for me to plan concepts, write down snippets for future chapters, plot characters, etc. they're all private because obviously i don't wanna spoil my readers, but yeah!! that's a notion page!! they're really fun because you can make them really pretty, so i recommend them if you ever need to organise anything ever, really :)

[ingydarwp]

I was just wondering if you playlists for your characters? If so are there links?

hihi!! i've been meaning to actually sit down and make my soundtracks into playlists, but i'm a little behind, so unfortunately i only have a tiger one rn :( however!! i will share that link here now!!

also!! one of my very lovely friends made this gracie playlist as well, which is 100% perfect so i'll also share that too :)

[ingydarwp]

'Tis is I, Clemmie, and I bring questions and lines from GT because i am sleep deprived and burning with new, fresh questions. this is fueled by the beauty that is that chapter. please hang it in a museum.

'Everybody Bucky's ever loved has had those eyes. In his dreams, he sees a whisp of a child staring at him with them; grabbing his hand and tugging him into an endless light. Sometimes the child has Steve's face. Sometimes it has Gracie's. It's difficult to tell which is which.

I'll find you first.

The child is always warm. Always familiar. Those are the only two constants. When it looks at Bucky, especially when it's wearing Gracie's face, he feels like he's staring into the sun. On the days it looks like Steve — which are becoming fewer and fewer all the time — the child is thin with shadow. Bucky can hear its heart beating in its chest.

He loves you.

Why?

Because he knows you. '

Does Bucky cling to Gracie and the very air she breathes because of her resemblance to Steve? Of the very gentleness of the man he loves? Does he call her 'The Child' yet associate her with light and love and the sun because she is so painfully Steve that it tears him apart?

Does Bucky feel like Gracie already knows him, despite their short time together?

(does all the copying bother you??? its just easier, i think, but please let me know!!!)

'Standing in the hallway, face tight with worry, is Gracie Rogers. Bucky would know her anywhere. Hell, he'd know her if he was blindfolded, deafened and wiped clean of all his memories. He knows those eyes. He knows her silver hair. He knows how desperately insistent she always is to make everything right.'

Later, when Bucky thinks back to the TV-Static memories of this time, does he regret this? Leaving her? Does he regret loving the gentle and kindness that is Gracie. She reminds me of the edit you made with Cas and Sorrow, the 'i loved you with the good and the careless in me'.

'You need to let her go.'

Does this also count for older!gracie and bucky? i still believe that bucky kills gracie. she is too gentle, too broken, he needs to let her go and so does she. she needs to be let go. at least, that's how i've viewd it.

'Soldier moves towards her, legs like clockwork, and reaches his human hand around her throat. He doesn't trust the strength of his metal one, so that goes over her mouth instead. He isn't aiming to kill. Just to press the right pressure points.'

Maybe I'm reading into this too much, and i think i am, but does every little part of bucky care for gracie? even the soldier. does that part care for him? also, i adore the way you separated bucky and the soldier.

i only ask that question because, despite it being the soldier, he wants so badly not to hurt her.

'Too curious for her own good, and too damn kind, too. It was a fool's error, letting her be brought here. Where Bucky goes, Gracie follows, and she's got too much heart to let a rotten thing rest.'

at this point does steve see bucky as rotten? you say here that shes got too much heart to let a rotten thing rest. does he mean the soldier or the very man he loves?

'Steve chokes on air he doesn't have.'

and, for my last question, i have to ask this.

Is Gracie Sarah Rogers Steve's oxygen?

ziggy hello!! this message was the first notification i saw when i woke up this morning and it was a fabulous way to wake up, so thank you very much :)

gracie as the light!!

i think a big part of the way bucky loves gracie is definitely because of steve. it's like an instinct for him. he's drawn to anything that reminds him of his old best friend. however, i also think it is a lot of gracie's own self that draws him to her.

gracie saved him in every way possible. she took him out of the darkness and into the light simply by telling him who he was. that was life-changing for bucky. she gave him a reason to exist, basically.

it is still very rooted in steve, though. him and gracie are so similar it hurts. the rogers family adore bucky, and bucky adores the rogers family!! he feels so known by them :(

and the copying doesn't bother me, don't worry!!

does bucky regret leaving!!

this is a sore point for bucky and gracie, because if i'm being brutally honest: no. bucky doesn't regret leaving. in fact, he wishes he'd never met her, sometimes. and that isn't in a mean way or a way that involves hatred!! it's just very difficult for him and it brings up a lot of feelings.

gracie makes bucky feel very, very vulnerable. like, to the point where his emotions start to feel like exposed nerve endings. she met him at his absolute worst, where she was terrified and hurt and in danger, and yet she was still the one protecting him instead of the other way around. it makes bucky feel weak, and it makes him feel sick. like the worst kind of skin-crawling, mind-numbing embarrassment you can possibly imagine. it makes bucky ashamed to even exist around her.

gracie is golden. before she reached hydra, she was pure and safe in her bubble-wrap, and bucky knows he ruined that. whether he meant to or not, whether he could control it or not, he destroyed part of her childhood. he heard her screaming his name by the river when he left, but he didn't stop because he couldn't. he wanted her out of his life before he could ruin her any more.

letting go!!

bucky is always forcing himself to let little bits of gracie go. through each stage of their lives, there are always parts of her that he wants to cling to but he knows he has to set free. especially as she gets older, and she begins to lose pieces of herself to grief and anger.

in tfatws, he's letting go the gracie he knew before the grief of steve. in hawkeye, he's letting go of the stability gracie's only just gained when she goes to visit clint in new york. in thunderbolts, he's letting go of gracie altogether. thunderbolts!gracie is hollowed out by rage, and he has to accept that she isn't really gracie anymore, and she never will be again. he has to let go of the gracie he's gotten used to loving and find a way to love this new gracie, because it's the only chance he has of saving her.

so yes, bucky is always letting go of her. it hurts more and more each time, but it also gets easier. no matter who she is or what she's become, he knows he'll always love her. that's all she needs. bravely unconditional love.

does soldier care for gracie!!

i've been somewhat anticipating this question because i think it's a very logical one. why does the winter soldier, an outright ruthless killer, want to protect gracie so badly?

unfortunately, it is not because of bucky :( it's not really because of anything human. it's just because of his programming.

the winter soldier is a (nearly) inpenetrable murder machine. i described him like a computer in that chapter because i think that's how he is!! he receives input, processes it, and provides an output. his 'missions' - the set of instructions he's provided with - are what fuels him. he's been programmed to do exactly what he's told, no matter what it takes. the chapter's supposed to be an example of that.

in catws, after gracie escaped hydra towards the end, bucky was told to bring her back and not to damage her. he never managed it, of course, and he was deactivated so suddenly by steve that that instruction never quite left his brain. it was still there, along with the winter soldier, but just lying dormant. and when zemo reactivates him in cw, he also reactivates that unfinished mission!!

hydra was very specific about not hurting gracie when they fed bucky that order, because it was extra work to treat a damaged kid. so, now that he's back on his old mission - which now feels extra important, considering it's been incomplete for so long - he is taking everything even more seriously than he normally would. that's why he's so desperate not to hurt gracie. it's nothing sweet or soft, unfortunately. just hydra's twisted orders making him seem kinder than the situation actually is :(((

rot from steve's perspective!!

again, this is tricky!! because there is a logical part of steve that knows that bucky has been largely rotted away. there are still pieces of him, but they are few and far between. the bucky he's seeing now isn't really the same one he used to, and that's a lot to process.

steve will never stop trying to save bucky. he will always be that kid in brooklyn, that man in zola's lab, that little piece of light sewn into his heart. but he knows it can't be everyone's mission anymore. he knows it can't be gracie's.

the winter soldier and gracie's memory of the softer parts of him are pulling her down. they're keeping her underwater when she needs to learn to swim. steve loves bucky, and he always will, but he knows that bucky isn't good for gracie, and if he has to choose, he will always pick his daughter. in a heartbeat.

steve doesn't care that bucky's rotten. he'd rot with him if it meant the man he loves could die happy. the place he draws the line, however, is when the rot starts to spread to gracie.

is gracie steve's oxygen?

yes. absolutely, unconditionally and irreversibly.

[ingydarwp]

based on the few things I know about you I would 100% recommend community and gravity falls both are like in my 10 ten shows !!

this is very good to know 😋 adding them speedily to my watch list rn

[ingydarwp]

hi! i think your writing is amazing. what is your writing process? how do you write so well?

thank you sososo much ohmygosh!! this is lovely to hear and i'm smiling very very wide rn - my cat looks alarmed at my delight. she's a hater in her core >:(

anyhow!! i honestly don't know what makes my writing appealing, though apparently there must be some sort of quality. i think reading a lot is the biggest thing that helps. i want to recommend something responsible, like paying attention in your english classes, but i know full-well that i've spent the past two years doing nothing and just drawing on the corner of my paper, so i don't know if english is actually that helpful....

[ingydarwp]

since graceland is very successful, would u ever consider writing a prequel thing in the future that sort of goes into gracies backstory, with her and nat

fabulous question, and the answer is maybe!!

i think this would be a very good idea, actually, and i haven't considered it before so thank you for suggesting!! to me, it's important for people to understand that nat and gracie's relationship wasn't always in ruins, and while there is some of that in GT, it's somewhat tainted by the arrival of steve and therefore the building resentment we see in nat.

it takes gracie a long time to properly acknowledge inside herself that the way nat treated her wasn't ok. a long, long time. even though she's hurt and angry currently, she doesn't want to fully believe that nat's in the wrong. when people finally end up asking her about it, post-cw, she doesn't want to admit it. there's always some excuse she comes up with to defend nat, and i want people to see why she's like that.

nat loved gracie. she made her feel special and pretty and important, and for a kid like gracie, that was life-altering. she was somebody's favourite person for the first time ever. she felt like she belonged. i would love to show that side of nat that gracie still sees, not only because i miss writing nice!nat, but because it's crucial for understanding the extreme denial gracie felt surrounding natasha.

i've been meaning to write a fic with pre/post/outside of canon snippets from all of my books forever, so maybe now's the time!!

[ingydarwp]

What did you almost call your fics? Like if it wasn't East of Eden or Graceland Too what would they be called?

i answered this question already, but it was AGESSS ago so here's the link, in case you didn't wanna have to scroll for a million years :)

however, on the last post, i only included my published characters, and i've had requests to include raffy and gwen on more of my group posts, so!! i'm gonna add their 'almosts' here!!

deer in the headlights, which is raffy's fic, was gonna have a more biblical name that i cannot quite remember, but i was super attached to deer in the headlights, so i've kept it :)

aaannnnd gwen's fic, the family jewels, was nearly called every MARINA song under the sun. i'm convinced she writes music with gwen as her exact target audience, so i wasn't able to pick just one and settled for a whole album name instead.

[ingydarwp]

Is the person that Older Gracie takes from the void her younger self?

(From ur recent edit)

yes!! i mean, basically yes. it's not actual younger gracie, like not the actual existence of her; just the void's version. the gracie that older!gracie takes from the void feels like a real person, but she's not. she's corporeal, receptive, not at all ghostlike, but she's just all of gracie's worst fears and horrors moulded into a physical form

it's tricky to explain, but in a simple sense, yes. auto-kidnapping!!

[ingydarwp]

what happend to Gracie photobookkk the tiktok u had

hihi!! sorry, but i took it down :(

because abby white no longer acts and leads a relatively underground life, i did some reflecting and thought it felt a little odd to be using pictures of her as a little kid that she probably has no idea are out and about in the world, especially not circulating in the fanfic community.

no hate to anyone who still uses those photos, not at all!! i just didn't wanna use them myself anymore :)

[ingydarwp]

Matty is honestly one of the few fictional characters that bring a smile to my face like I know he’s just from a fanfiction but genuinely I would risk my life for him

also I feel like he’s so Abed nadir or dipper pines coded maybe 😓😓

ohmygosh thank you sososo much!! i live for matty and he's soso super special to me so it makes my whole year when other people like him too!! i'm glad he makes you smile :)))

i haven't seen community or gravity falls, unfortunately, so i cannot confirm this for sure, but from what little i know of them, i agree with this statement!!

[ingydarwp]

Is there anything you've had to cut from your fanfics that you really wanted to include but just couldn't? Like any scenes or interactions or details? Hope you're doing well!!

this is a super fun question ohmygosh!!

there are a few things i've had to cut from fics, and unfortunately i've forgotten the majority of them because my brain is sieve, but some still remain!!

tiger was supposed to be a spanish speaker, for one. i felt like it was a fun way to include some of her X-23ness, but in the end, i figured it wasn't that necessary of a detail + i don't speak spanish, so i probably would've done her dirty :(

also, before tiger got boots the dog, her thing was supposed to be that she had rollerskates!! my plan was that she'd live in an abandoned car on the highway before the group found her, and would get around by skating. however, tiger seemed like too much of a threat to be put on rollerskates, so i just gave her a dog instead.

last thing for eoe: jackie was gonna be in alexandria, originally!! i think we've all established by now that jackie's fate is fairly doomed, so this isn't an intense spoiler, but this was before i decided that she was cursed. her and tiger were supposed to get a fun little reunion moment!! i just chose my own destiny and switched my plans :))

idk if this falls into the category you asked about, but gracie was supposed to get an entirely different ending!! up until halfway through catws, my plan was to have her fic end in endgame. it would be her, bucky and steve — steve never would've gone back in time in this instance — and they'd just live happily and canon-divergently out the picture. however, that felt like i was missing out on a lot of fun writing opportunities, so i crashed their peace with a combine harvester and just adjusted the canon to make it even sadder!!

in gt, there was supposed to be a fun section post-cw where gracie would accompany peter to school to try and keep an eye on him — at tony's request — so that's something i'm really sad i don't have time for anymore!! it was also gonna be a devil town crossover, so that's an extra big loss, but the timeline just didn't have space for it :(

and isabell was supposed to die in tfatws, so that's definitely something that got left out!!

[ingydarwp]

i’m looking through my old matty notes, but annoyingly, they’re all written for the pre-jhutch-ification matty, so he’s really silly and happy in them and i won’t get to use them now :(

however, this one made me giggle, so i’m putting it here so it won’t go to waste

[ingydarwp]

hello clem

i am here to ask if i can know everything about marnie may🙁like just everyrhigg bf about her story oh where did my spelling go

thank you!!!!!

vada hellohello!! and oh my gosh a marnie-may mention!! yes, you absolutely may know everything about her 😋

marnie-may davis is a six-year-old girl who used to live on a farm nearby the greene's!! she grew up with maggie babysitting her and being allowed to play on their property whenever she wanted, so they're super close, and when the apocalypse hits and her parents get bit, she runs to them!!

marnie's also a devout christian, a constant chatterbox and never ever runs out of energy. she puts all of her faith into jesus, and has absolutely no doubts in the world because god wouldn't let that happen!! (would he??) she carries a little ceramic jesus figurine with her everywhere and spends her days pestering maggie, then pestering daryl, and then acting like she wasn't pestering anyone at all.

in short, marnie is ultra-silly and ultra-sweet and ultra-religious. she has a minor (major) crisis of faith post-lineup, but it's ok!! just picture silly little farm-era marnie when you think of her and you have nothing to worry about :)