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[ineverthoughtidneedsomanypeople]

The thing about blue grass, podracing and sugar.

The thing about blue grass, podracing and sugar.

I’ve recently been introduced (or reintroduced) to blue grass music. I mean, I lived in Boone for 6 years, so of course I have an appreciation for blue grass. However, it has been awhile since I have listened to it much. A dear friend took me to a Billy Strings concert a few weeks ago and it changed me somehow. Music has that kind of power when you open up to it. One song had me sobbing in a…

[ineverthoughtidneedsomanypeople]

Thankful for brain (grief) fog and clean counters.

Thankful for brain (grief) fog and clean counters.

I have noticed that I am not on my A game as far as thinking is concerned. There are way more times than usual that I find myself forgetting names. I literally call my son the dog’s name at least once a day. I often walk upstairs to get something and then forget why I am walking upstairs. The other day I forgot my make-up routine. I looked at myself in the mirror and I knew something was off but…

[ineverthoughtidneedsomanypeople]

Lazarus

Moving forward is not moving away from my love. It is not forgetting and replacing. It is merely survival. And that is ok.

Death is permanent. It is a definite end to life in this world. I will never see my husband again in my lifetime. I will never hear his voice again (with the exception of the voicemails that I listen to relentlessly). I will only see his image in pictures for the rest of my life. I will not be in the room with him silently. I will not share a meal with him. He will not be rubbing my feet. He will…

[ineverthoughtidneedsomanypeople]

Changes

Changes Tomorrow I will go to sleep as a whole person and then I will wake up and I will not be whole physically anymore.

Tomorrow is the big day. I’ll be having a lumpectomy in the morning. It’s a wide excision partial mastectomy. Lucky me! I have cancerous tumors that begin directly under my right nipple and extend to 9 o’clock. That is what the radiation technicians keep saying when they have marked me for several procedures. The rad seeds were implanted today to guide the surgeon and all things are set.

Tom…

[ineverthoughtidneedsomanypeople]

Scary Monsters! Super Creeps!

This is why I celebrate Halloween In my estimation, Halloween is the last remaining holiday where total strangers come by my house to say hi.

All Hallow’s Eve is upon us again. The time for sugar comas, costumes, trunk or treats, trick or treating, scary movie marathons, haunted houses and all things creepy and unnerving. Halloween can be a struggle for a lot of Christians and it is easy to throw it to the wayside and not participate. I can totally relate to the reasons why and it is so important that we guard our hearts. But I have…

[ineverthoughtidneedsomanypeople]

Always crashing the same car

Always crashing the same car

This is one of my favorite Bowie songs and also a very familiar theme in my life. I too am always crashing the same car, metaphorically speaking. Often, I am too keen to repeat the same mistakes and patterns in my life. Behaviors are difficult to escape.

Last week, however, I took the theme to the literal sense and crashed my ACTUAL car. Or, rather, a deer ran into my car. Nevertheless, the…

[ineverthoughtidneedsomanypeople]

Surprise trip... Jesus take the wheel!

Surprise trip… Jesus take the wheel!

Mondays are generally sucky.  I think we all can agree on that point.  It’s a day we just all kind of endure but no one enjoys it.  This past Monday was set to be that way for me,  another ENDURING Monday for the books. But at 2:30 p.m. I received an unexpected text.  

“Hey, I found tickets to Carrie Underwood tonight.  Want to go with me?”

The ride or die friend in me thought “Heck yes I…

[ineverthoughtidneedsomanypeople]

Spaces in between

Spaces in between - Thoughts from the Five Years blog

I’m in that uncomfortable space in between. I hate that place. It’s nowhere really. That place between being diagnosed with cancer and really knowing or doing anything about it. I’ve been here in this nowhere place for going on 3 weeks. Likely I’ll be here another 2 to 3 weeks more, maybe longer.

I like going somewhere. I’m a visionary at heart and I like to look forward. Except I can’t see…

[ineverthoughtidneedsomanypeople]

[ineverthoughtidneedsomanypeople]

#MuirMonday

[ineverthoughtidneedsomanypeople]

#MuirMonday Discover God's creation and you will be re-energized. It is plugging into the source.

[ineverthoughtidneedsomanypeople]

Now I can mark it up. #johnmuir #realbooks

[ineverthoughtidneedsomanypeople]

And the concert prep and house cleaning continues! #thinfstour #pncarena #bonjovi #bonjovifans #bonjoviconcert #layyourhandsonme #haveaniceday #bedofroses #keepthefaith #amen #thatswhatthewatermademe #laboroflove #scarsonthisguitar

[ineverthoughtidneedsomanypeople]

#davidbowie #bowie #bowieforever #starman #gonebutnotforgotten #davidrobertjones #cancersucks

[ineverthoughtidneedsomanypeople]

Loving my new #StarWars mug! #starwarsfan #forceisstrongewiththisone

[ineverthoughtidneedsomanypeople]

#bemywife #DavidBowie Can't wait for this!!! Parlaphone is releasing in June!

[ineverthoughtidneedsomanypeople]

This is how I visualize my immune system responding to the shingles virus... If only my immune system weren't so much like #Gollam instead. #zoster