ineedaplacetotalkto

[ineedaplacetotalkto]

there’s this man at work that is so beautiful he’s like at least 10 yrs older than me like maybe 30 or so but he’s sooooo beautiful he’s construction in my building and i literally wanna kms over it

[ineedaplacetotalkto]

yeah so since their boyfriend came home from his fucking road trip they literally just don’t talk to me anymore

[ineedaplacetotalkto]

i can’t stand my roommate sometimes they make my house completely inhabitable for me. they keep themselves on this pedestal and can’t be happy unless they have power or are in control. it’s so fucking frustrating to slightly disagree with something they say and get crucified for it when i take it on the chin all the time. i do all the work around the fucking house they leave it disgusting i couldn’t tell you the last time they took out the fucking garbage. their SISTER did it FOR THEM today. they were gone for like two weeks recently and i dreaded them coming back and didn’t rlly know why and yeah now i know . i’m so exhausted that my feeling are thrown in my face all the time and am forced to live in a hostile environment

[ineedaplacetotalkto]

American liberals will have zero idea wtf they’re talking about and still try to offer an opinion on Eurasia shut THE FUCK UP!!!!! shut up!! and crack a fucking book because it’s so fucking clear they have no idea even what NATO is lmfao

[ineedaplacetotalkto]

so this past week blake and i have spent every other night together. i love to watch him in the kitchen. there’s a muscle memory and passion that’s so attractive. warm. i can picture a family . he’s making me pizza tonight. i have to go to figueroa’s first because if i don’t have any boges i’ll not be able to focus as i’d like to. all i want to do is be in bed with him. tomorrow we’re going to the darkroom he rents out and going to print. i’m very happy.... i am going to wear my dress in the freezing cold because i’d really like to look nice. when we see each other i’m usually in my work clothes but i want to be pretty so he can see. i want to bake for him i think it’d be really fun... i want to nurture. and make coffee in the morning and brush our teeth together more more more just can’t get enough

[ineedaplacetotalkto]

i was all excited to watch a movie w friends but after spending the day in harvard i really am exhausted and i want to go home and rest. before work tomorrow . roommate is annoying me only because we were all hanging and then they went and fuckrfnyhe bf and i got stuck talking to his roommate who is actually insufferable and i told them i didn’t want to. e out here anymore and they went in his room for another like twenty minutes like bruh i am miserable and i want to go home but i want to see himmm . i am miserable because the only people who like me condescend me to no end and are also unattractive to me i fall in love with someone and they don’t like me. all my friends are in love and i am bitter and unlovable and i just want gavin to like me but he won’t and it hurts me but i can’t feel pain anymore all i can do is stew and feel grey and bitter and i can’t take it anymore and i just want help and i don’t know how to ask for it and i feel like when i try to talk to my friends about it i am shut down and all today Huey kept doing that mean kind of joke at me that he does when he’s around Cypress and i don’t like it but i can’t say anything unless i feel like being called dramatic and getting laughed at and i am grateful for Briar and Bradford and genera furry frat but they all remind me that Gavin only likes me as a friend and i love being friends but i want more from life i want love and happiness and i want to succeed not just in love but in life and i want to be a complete person not just a person when i manage to drag myself out of bed. not just the girl who serves the finance bros coffee in the morning i want to kill myself

[ineedaplacetotalkto]

if anyone is ever to read anything on this account just know it’s a journal to me and i mean no harm nor do i mean anything other than self expression and a way to filter my thoughts

[ineedaplacetotalkto]

it’s equally ugly to me the ideas of self important humor and self deprecating humor. they’re both incredibly self centered and unless you are actually happy with your general self neither are constructive and both make those around you uncomfortable and more likely to criticize u. never liked the “hot girls do this” “hot girls do that” humor. it’s not funny. and i can guarantee if u are calling urself hot online you are reaching for those around u to agree with you rather than actually feeling that way. human nature is to criticize and i can guarantee of u post about being hot and/or ugly online those around u will begin to resent u especially if they are as self loathing as those posting generally are. not to say i’m above this i am as self loathing as it gets but i don’t go out of way way to point it out to others.

[ineedaplacetotalkto]

i never take consequences into account like everything could be pointing the wrong way but i’m a romantic and i think that everything will always work out for love and i want to be in love so bad i will risk breaking my heart because at least i wouldn’t be waiting for an answer or a sign but i love yearning and i love to love and i hate forcing myself out of it it is probably the most painful thing in the world but if i could cry instead of just imagining it would be good for me and maybe i. could grow some and i could walk some and i could get thru something. i keep wanting to cut myself again which is such a crazy feeling because i haven’t felt he urge in so long and somehow i find it to not be a problem and i haven’t done it but somehow i feel like it would be good for me because all my emotions are so lackluster but pain i can deal with and i know that’s so textbook and annoying but it’s true and cuts will heal and end up literally fine like literally what is the problem with that and i’m drunk the fourth night in a row but my friend has left for Ne w York Nueva York and Rowan and Ivana and Caleb and Jess are there and i’m in Boston and i love Boston but what is love without friends who care for you unconditionally and can show you. i want a boyfriend whose house i can just walk to and i want Him so specifically and maybe if Isaac and I fit together better but i can never tell if they’re into me and i do not like being left to ponder. i love thé chase but rlly only when it ends spectacular. at this point iwoulf settle for a theatric tragedy. tragic love story. an unrequited love . also Brad and Briar said we would go to the beach but now they’re in Briar’s room and i don’t know if i see it happening but i want it to! i would love the beach right now.

[ineedaplacetotalkto]

everyone telling me not to go after the guy i like but i’m like i should totally do it

[ineedaplacetotalkto]

call me trad but i love the juxtaposition of the masculine and feminine

[ineedaplacetotalkto]

i’ve been at work 6 hours and i will be here for 6 more i’ve been awake since 5:00 am can somebody just kill me bc if i serve coffee to another french person who acts like they’d love nothing more than to just spit on me i’ll do it myself

[ineedaplacetotalkto]

your roommate called himself John and you Paul dude i can literally be Linda

[ineedaplacetotalkto]

there’s nothing that can drive me crazier than a 22 year old jewish slavic guy in a band from jersey with absolutely zero instagram

[ineedaplacetotalkto]

please give me a knowing touch

a long glance or maybe just stand a little closer

look down at me like you might lean in but don’t do it just yet

please play that song again because i can hear you singing loud and dull “”girl.....

i remember sitting to watch on your basement steps

i marked your height on the wall and wrote your name bigger than everyone else’s

did you notice? i didn’t until the next night

will you please get to know me will you please let me get to know you

you were going to come over from Ringer but i was too stoned and i wish i had woken up

you’re just 22 and soooooooo .

[ineedaplacetotalkto]

i feel so warm and comforted by a conversation i overheard at 3:45am .... somebody was joking they were going to sleep with me and my friend told him not to talk about me that way, and that i was like his sister <3

[ineedaplacetotalkto]

like you don’t owe anyone respect but if you have sex w someone you better act respectful to them idgaf that basic human decency. i dont fuckimg get it i really don’t