incorrectriverdalechoni - Tumblr blog

[incorrectriverdalechoni]

Jughead: I don’t have time for this Cheryl! If you need to say something, say it in five words or less.

Cheryl: [Counts on fingers] You... Are... A... Bitch...

Cheryl: ...Hobo

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[School hallway]

Veronica: Excuse me. Did you just refer to a knife as a “a people opener”?

Sweet Pea: Should I not have?

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Sweet Pea: This is a disaster! The printer messed up the invitations! It’s supposed to say “Toni’s Birthday”!

Fangs: Well what does it say?

Sweet Pea: “Toni’s Bi”

Sweet Pea: ...

Sweet Pea: Wait that could still work.

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Kevin: Why are your tongues Purple?

Cheryl: Oh, because I had a red slushie.

Toni: And I had a blue one.

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*While watching cartoons*

Sweet Pea: *Aggressively* COME ON DORA! YOU’RE THE ONE WITH THE FUCKING MAP, NOT ME.

Fangs: Maybe that’s enough-

Sweet Pea: I’LL LET YOU KNOW WHEN I’VE HAD ENOUGH!

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Reggie: Excuse me, but I can cook!

Veronica: Offering people gum is not cooking.

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Veronica: You’re smiling, did something good happen?

Cheryl: Can’t I just smile because I feel like it?

Betty: We saw Penelope tripped and fell in the parking lot.

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Toni: I’m gay and confused.

Toni: Not about being gay. I just never know what the fuck is going on.

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Toni: Hi, I’m Toni.

Cheryl: Toni? That’s a great name.

Toni: Really, you think so? You should hear my phone number too.

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[sleepover at Pembrooke]

Kevin: [Walks into the room without a shirt on]

Veronica: Hey topless.

Kevin: You don't have to remind me that I'm single.

Betty: ...

Betty: That took me a while to get.

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[Core four walking inside the school lounge]

Veronica: Oh great, Humans are sleeping and cuddling on the couch!

Betty: Why do you have to call them humans? It’s Cheryl and Toni.

Veronica: Oops, sorry. Let me do that again. [clears throat]

Veronica: The gays are sleeping and cuddling on the couch!

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Toni: If you don’t stop talking, I am going to jump out of that window.

Sweet Pea: We’re on the ground floor.

Toni: I know but I want a dramatic exit.

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Cheryl: [texting Jughead] Bitch.

Jughead: [Blocks Cheryl]

Toni, to Jughead: Jug, Cheryl said Unblock her. She have something to tell you.

Jughead: [Unblocks Cheryl]

Cheryl: [Texts Jughead] Bitch.

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Cheryl: You hang up!

Toni: No, you hang up!

Cheryl: No, YOU hang up!

Toni: No, you hang up!

Sweet Pea: *Snatches the phone from Toni* I’LL HANG UP

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*After one of Sweet Pea and Fangs’ stupid plans*

Toni: Are you alright?! Are either of you hurt?!

Fangs and Sweet Pea: No, we’re fine.

Toni: *Showering holy water on the both of them* THEN WHAT WERE YOU TWO IDIOTS THINKING?!

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Toni: Guys, I think we have a problem.

Sweet Pea: What, the fire?

Toni: No the- wait, what fire?!

Sweet Pea: Oh, nothing. Continue, this seems more interesting.

Toni, Fangs, Jughead and Cheryl: whAT FIRE SWEET PEA

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Cheryl: We need to talk about—

Toni, Sweet Pea, Fangs: The ship was already on fire before we got there.

Cheryl: Wait what?!

Toni, Sweet Pea, Fangs: We mean, What?