incorrectmonkquotes
You'll Thank Me Later
105 posts
submissions open, please submit quotes! (and include source please)
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
incorrectmonkquotes · 5 years ago
Conversation
Jack Monk Jr.: Come with me.
Adrian: Uh, no. I'm never doing anything blindly with you again. I learned that at the border. Twice.
6 notes · View notes
incorrectmonkquotes · 5 years ago
Conversation
Randy: Welcome to Randy time!
Leland: What are you doing?
Randy: Trying out my new catchphrase.
Leland: “Welcome to Randy time?“ What the hell does that even mean?
Randy: He knows what it means.
Adrian: I have no idea what that means.
57 notes · View notes
incorrectmonkquotes · 5 years ago
Conversation
*suspect slowly goes past the detectives on a tractor*
Leland: He's doing a runner.
Randy: On a tractor!
*Randy jogs to catch up*
Randy: Hey! What are you doing?
26 notes · View notes
incorrectmonkquotes · 5 years ago
Conversation
Leland: *narrows eyes* Now, what are you up to?
Natalie, with a guilty look: Whatever happened to “hi”?
Leland: Hi. Now, what are you up to?
16 notes · View notes
incorrectmonkquotes · 5 years ago
Conversation
Leland: What have you done with my report?
Randy: I’ve hidden it. To find it, you’ll need to decipher a series of clues, each more fiendish than -
Leland: Got it!
Randy: D'oh!
9 notes · View notes
incorrectmonkquotes · 5 years ago
Conversation
Leland and Natalie: *watching Adrian as Frank DePalma “interrogate” a criminal*
Leland: Uhhh… I think Adrian may have snapped.
Natalie: Or maybe he’s just stuck in character.
Leland: Which is worse? Snapped or stuck?
Natalie: Both. They’re both worse.
3 notes · View notes
incorrectmonkquotes · 5 years ago
Conversation
Leland: Did you check the emergency exit?
Randy:
Randy: No, I went to go get donuts.
4 notes · View notes
incorrectmonkquotes · 5 years ago
Conversation
Adrian: Yeah, I know it’s neat, Natalie, that’s why I made ten. Now, arrange those by color.
Natalie: These are all beige.
Adrian: Oh, are they? Or are five in a dark beige, and five in a slightly darker biege?
28 notes · View notes
incorrectmonkquotes · 5 years ago
Conversation
Leland: *throws his hands up in frustration* It’s a theory!
Adrian: *wiping down Leland's desk* It’s my gut.
Leland: Does your gut have any evidence we can bring to a prosecutor?
5 notes · View notes
incorrectmonkquotes · 5 years ago
Conversation
Leland: *places pillows on the couch*
Adrian: Don’t sleep there. You can use the bedroom.
Leland: I can’t take your bedroom.
Adrian: I’m up at four o'clock in the morning.
Leland: I can’t kick you out of your bed.
Adrian: I don’t even sleep.
10 notes · View notes
incorrectmonkquotes · 5 years ago
Conversation
Adrian: *walking away from a very intoxicated Randy*
Natalie: … ?
Adrian: He’s been grilling me about where circus performers go when they die.
5 notes · View notes
incorrectmonkquotes · 5 years ago
Conversation
Monk: Supposedly, Natalie had to take her daughter to the hospital. That’s Peggy, her mother.
Randy: I hope she’s okay.
Monk: She’s awful. Can barely wash a dish.
4 notes · View notes
incorrectmonkquotes · 5 years ago
Conversation
Adrian: You can all use this time to clean up your desks. Look at this place: Half-eaten food, crumpled tissues, pictures of your families...
Leland: What's wrong with pictures?
Adrian: If you love someone, you'll remember what they look like.
27 notes · View notes
incorrectmonkquotes · 5 years ago
Conversation
Adrian: Here are two pictures. One is your locker; the other is a garbage dump in the Philippines. Can you guess which is which?
Randy: [Points at one] That one's the dump?
Adrian: They're both your locker.
Randy: Gah, I should've guessed that. [To the other detectives] He's good!
Adrian: [Picking up a folder off Randy's desk] This folder is labeled "Undies comma Dirty".
Randy: So I won't confuse it with "Undies comma Clean". Also, who cares about all those rules?
23 notes · View notes
incorrectmonkquotes · 5 years ago
Conversation
Natalie: Yes, I am amazing. And I only ask for one thing in repayment, a 600% raise.
Adrian: Or I could give you a 0% raise, and make you my personal assistant. Which is what I'm doing. I think you have hidden talents which will make you surprisingly good at the job.
Natalie: No, I have no talents.
4 notes · View notes
incorrectmonkquotes · 5 years ago
Conversation
Leland: Randy, where are we on the Adams St. burglary?
Randy: We are very close, Captain, aside from a complete absence of evidence, suspects, or leads. So in conclusion, not at all close.
3 notes · View notes
incorrectmonkquotes · 5 years ago
Conversation
Leland: High ceilings, three bedrooms. Why does every perp have a nicer apartment than me?
3 notes · View notes