incorrecteachers1984

[incorrecteachers1984]

Waiter: So what would you two like to order?

Diane: Can we get a milkshake with two straws?

Eddie: [dryly] How romantic.

Diane: Watch how fast I can drink this.

[incorrecteachers1984]

Lisa, to Eddie: My life is in the hands of an idiot! Eddie, motioning to himself and Diane: No no no no no, TWO idiots!

[incorrecteachers1984]

Alex: Eddie... Eddie: Oh no, 'Eddie' in B flat. Eddie: You're disappointed.

[incorrecteachers1984]

Diane: Thanks for pulling the fire alarm, you saved me from giving an oral report about The Scarlet Web. Eddie: You were too lazy to read the book?! Diane: I was too lazy to watch the movie.

[incorrecteachers1984]

Eddie: How petty can you get? Diane: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about.

[incorrecteachers1984]

Alex: Eddie... Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor? Eddie: Your text told me to satanize the house before you returned. Alex: Alex: I wrote sanitize, Eddie.

[incorrecteachers1984]

Eddie: Change is inedible. Alex: Don't you mean inevitable? Eddie, spitting out coins: No, I did not.

[incorrecteachers1984]

Alex: You love me, right, Lisa? Lisa: Normally, I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere and I don’t like it.

[incorrecteachers1984]

Danny: What’s up guys? I’m back. Alex: What the- you can’t be here. You’re dead. I literally saw you die. Danny: Death is a social construct.

[incorrecteachers1984]

Eddie: I actually have a black belt. Diane: In what, karate? Eddie: No, from Gucci.

[incorrecteachers1984]

Alex: What are you doing here? Eddie: I could ask you the same question. Alex: I live here. This is my house. Eddie: I should probably ask you a different question.

[incorrecteachers1984]

Eddie: Let’s write Danny a friendly note, shall we? Dear... Incompetent... Dumbass...

[incorrecteachers1984]

Alex: You might not know this, Eddie, but I am a flawed person. Eddie: I do know that.

[incorrecteachers1984]

Eddie: .. .----. -- / … --- .-. .-. -.-- (translation: I'M SORRY) Alex: What's that? Eddie: Remorse code. Alex: I'm even angrier now.

[incorrecteachers1984]

Eddie: It’s nice to be wanted, you know? Lisa: Not by the law!

[incorrecteachers1984]

Eddie, trying to comfort Diane: What's the problem? Anxiety? Low self-esteem? Obsessive thoughts of random arson? I've been there.

[incorrecteachers1984]

Lisa: Do you know the ABCs of first aid? Diane: A. Bone. Coming out of the skin is very bad.