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Eda: Now, I’m not gonna give you the “Every day was a wonderful gift from the Titan” speech, I have had a lot of bad days. I’ve had bad days with you too, Whispers.

Eda: But I’ve had more good days with you than with anyone else. So give me one more good day…

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Lilith: So Eda, there's a rumour going around that you're into Raine

Eda: Rumour?

Eda: Are you telling me some people doubt it?

Lilith: Where are you going?

Eda: I need to fix this. There shouldn't be any doubt.

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Raine upon seeing Eda’s latest Big Grand Dumb Gesture: I do not support this. I should be furious. But from an objective point of view… It’s incredibly romantic.

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Raine: The sound a bass guitar makes is a gender

Raine: It is also a sexuality

Raine: It is also a secret third thing

Darius, deadpan: Music

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Luz: Eda! Are you all right!?

Eda: Nope, I’m all left!

…

Eda: Work with me here, it’s an amputation joke

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Eda: You betrayed the Emperor’s Coven… for me?

Raine: No, I didn’t.

Eda: Pretty sure you did.

Raine: I’m positive I didn’t.

Eda:  Fine. All right, let’s flip a coin, okay? Heads, you did it for me. Tails, you did it for me.

[Eda flips the coin and it lands on the ground]

Eda: I don’t even need to look because you did it for me.

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Willow: I’m going to punch your face!

Belos: NOO—

Willow: In the FACE.

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Teen Lilith, trying to put out fire: Edalyn, you're not helping!

Teen Eda, cheerfully: I'm not trying to, Lily.

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Raine: I have an idea. It’s deceptive and borderline unethical.

Eda: I’m listening.

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Raine: Isn’t it a bit early for apple blood?

Eda: Depends on what kinda day you’re having.

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[Early Season 1]

Eda: Here’s the thing, Luz – If I feed you, then every bum you talk to about it is gonna show up here looking for a free lunch. And this is not an Arby’s.

Luz: Arby’s doesn’t have free lunch, it’s a restaurant.

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Hunter: I feel like it’s nice sitting with you!

Willow: It’s nice, yeah!

Hunter, internally: Okay, Hunter. Breathe. Things are going well. She’s beautiful. She’s funny. She thinks you’re funny. So time to figure out what’s going wrong.

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Dana, probably: Do you want to see me torment the fanbase by brainwashing Raine?

…

Dana, probably: Do you want to see me do it again?

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Eda: See, once I realized that the dopamine hit attached to being a smartass far outweighed any of the repercussions... there was no turning back.

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Darius: “Oh thank the Titan Hunter you’re okay!! Do you need anything?? A blanket?? A juice box??”

Hunter: “I’m 16”

Darius: “…A stiff drink????”

Hunter: “Still 16”

Noooooo Hunter, you could have gotten Grown Up Apple Blood. C'mon, man.

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Amity: Mom's still Mom; undercutting my confidence in ways I didn't know existed.

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Eda: So, this Collector fella... We're gonna whack him, right?

Luz: ..."whack"?

Eda: That's right, I'm bringing it back!

Raine: Please, don't. Leave it where it was.