Incorrect quotes Moriarty the patriot - Sherliam
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incorrect-moriarty-sherliam · 10 hours ago
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*Meeting the family*
Mycroft: Sherlock, this is Albert Moriarty.
Sherlock: You’re Liam’s brother?
Albert: Surprising?
Sherlock: Yes. You seem... normal.
Albert: And you seem exactly as Will described.
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*Meeting the family*
Sherlock: I can deduce everything about you, Albert.
Albert:  Go ahead. Impress me.
Sherlock: …You drink too much wine and tolerate too little nonsense.
Albert: That was the most obvious observation possible.
William: He’s warming up to you.
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Fred: sternly If you bring another dead bird into the house, we’re having a serious talk. Bonde: Did the cat just... nod? Moran: I’m not sure if I should be impressed or worried. Bonde: Both. Definitely both.
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Moran: You’re shorter than I expected. Fred: I get that a lot. William: He may be small, but he’s efficient. Fred: I just work with what I have.
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Bonde: You really shouldn’t bring cats to meetings. Fred: She’s calm as long as I’m around. Moran: She’s staring at me. Fred: She’s protective.
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William: Fred, why are you knitting a tiny sweater? Fred: It’s for my cat. She gets cold during stakeouts. Sherlock: Your cat goes on stakeouts? Fred: She insists.
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*Teenage years*
Sherlock: groaning Mycroft, why did you tie a bell to my wrist? Mycroft: smirking despite fever So I know when you’re sneaking around like a diseased cat. Sherlock: I’m not a cat. Mycroft: True. Cats have dignity when they’re ill. Sherlock: If I had the energy, I’d make you eat that bell.
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*Adult years*
Sherlock: coughing Why did you put sticky notes all over my face while I slept? Mycroft: sniffling You looked too peaceful. Sherlock: I look like a walking memo. Mycroft: You needed reminders to stay in bed.
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*Adult years*
Sherlock: groaning Why does my pillow smell like garlic? Mycroft: sniffling Keeps vampires—and you—at bay. Sherlock: My nose burns. Mycroft: Consider it aromatherapy. Sherlock: You’re a sadist.
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*Teenage years*
Mycroft: coughing Why is there plastic wrap over my doorway? Sherlock: Germ barrier. You’re contagious. Mycroft: You’re a menace. Sherlock: And you’re quarantined.
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*Teenage years*
Mycroft: sighing Why are all my pajamas mismatched? Sherlock: Thought you needed a little color coordination exercise. Mycroft: This is not a fashion challenge, Sherlock. Sherlock: It is now.
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*Teenage years*
Mycroft: groaning My head hurts. Sherlock: handing him a book Here, read this. Mycroft: opening the book ...It’s full of insults directed at me. Sherlock: A compilation of your flaws. Therapeutic, really.
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*Teenage years*
Mycroft: You can’t set up experiments in the living room. Sherlock: It’s the only room with optimal light. Mycroft: You nearly set the carpet on fire! Sherlock: Science requires sacrifice.
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*Teenage years*
Mycroft: Proper etiquette is essential, Sherlock. Sherlock: I am properly rude to those who deserve it. Mycroft: That’s not how etiquette works. Sherlock: Then it’s boring.
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*Teenage years*
Mycroft: You need to focus on practical skills. Sherlock: I am. I solved three puzzles and two mysteries today. Mycroft: I meant life skills, not finding the neighbor’s missing cat. Sherlock: You’re just jealous because I found it before you.
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*Teenage years*
Mycroft: You cannot just skip school, Sherlock. Sherlock: I’m conducting an independent study. Mycroft: On what? Sherlock: How long it takes you to find me.
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*Childhood*
Albert *mixing batter*: How hard can baking be?
Louis *watching*: Hard enough for you, apparently.
William: I give it ten minutes before the fire alarm goes off.
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