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Holga: Yum, thanks!
Kidnapper: *puts more tape over their mouth* I said stop eating it.
#honor among thieves#holga kilgore#dungeons and dragons honor among thieves#dnd honor among thieves#dndhat
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Holga: You don't need my blessing to go kiss Edgin. In fact, I was pretty sure you were already kissing Edgin!
Xenk: Nope.
Holga: In that case, as the archbishop of Xenk's fully awakened gaydom, I give you my blessing to immediately leave and rectify that as soon as possible! Go now, my child, and kiss Edgin right on the lips!!!
#honor among thieves#holga kilgore#edgin darvis#xenk yendar#edgin x xenk#xedgin#dungeons and dragons honor among thieves#dnd honor among thieves#dndhat
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Simon: *trying to buy a Father's Day card at Hallmark*
Simon: Excuse me, do you have any that just say "You are my dad?"
Associate: Well, I-
Simon: How about "You banged my mom?"
Associate: No...
Simon: You know what, I'll just get a blank one.
Simon: *writes* You are a father. This is a day. Here is a card.
#honor among thieves#simon aumar#dungeons and dragons honor among thieves#dnd honor among thieves#dndhat
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*Everyone is playing a board game together*
Holga: I will put 'A' down to make 'A'.
Kira: I will add onto your 'A' to make 'AT'.
Edgin: I will add onto your 'AT' to make 'RAT'.
Xenk: I will add onto your 'RAT' to make 'BIOSTRATAGRAPHIC'.
Holga: *flips the board*
#honor among thieves#holga kilgore#kira darvis#edgin darvis#xenk yendar#dungeons and dragons honor among thieves#dnd honor among thieves#dndhat
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Simon: What are you eating?
Doric: You wouldn't like it, it's really salty.
Simon: I like you, don't I?
#honor among thieves#simon aumar#doric the druid#simon x doric#diamond#dungeons and dragons honor among thieves#dnd honor among thieves#dndhat
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Xenk: Are you free tomorrow?
Edgin: No, I’m fucking expensive every day.
#honor among thieves#edgin darvis#xenk yendar#xedgin#edgin x xenk#dungeons and dragons honor among thieves#dnd honor among thieves#dndhat
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Simon: Self-care is suppressing all your trauma until it comes back and hits you in the face with the force of 7 very large trucks.
#honor among thieves#simon aumar#dungeons and dragons honor among thieves#dnd honor among thieves#dndhat
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Edgin: To everyone who has treated me poorly; I am sexier than you.
#honor among thieves#edgin darvis#dungeons and dragons honor among thieves#dnd honor among thieves#dndhat
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Simon, wiping tears from their eyes: If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, it’s meant to be…
Doric: I’m literally just going to the store.
#honor among thieves#simon aumar#doric the druid#simon x doric#diamond#dungeons and dragons honor among thieves#dnd honor among thieves#dndhat
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Kira: What’s your biggest fear?
Simon: I am incredibly arachnophobic.
Kira, under their breath: You don’t want spiders to get married?
#honor among thieves#kira darvis#simon aumar#dungeons and dragons honor among thieves#dnd honor among thieves#dndhat
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Holga: I'm so tired of this life. I want to be a roomba. I want knives taped to me. And I want to be set loose.
#honor among thieves#holga kilgore#dungeons and dragons honor among thieves#dnd honor among thieves#dndhat
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Holga: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, that’s fucked up. Like c'mon, you know I’m dumb as hell!
#honor among thieves#holga kilgore#dungeons and dragons honor among thieves#dnd honor among thieves#dndhat
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Edgin: What’s up with you?
Xenk: What do you mean?
Edgin: You’ve been nice and helpful and considerate all day. What’s your game?
#honor among thieves#edgin darvis#xenk yendar#edgin x xenk#xedgin#dungeons and dragons honor among thieves#dnd honor among thieves#dndhat
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Edgin: Alright, what pizza toppings should we order?
Holga: Anchovies and pineapple.
Simon: I like beets!
Doric: Have you guys ever had a cheese-less pizza?
Edgin: I’m disowning all of you.
#honor among thieves#edgin darvis#holga kilgore#simon aumar#doric the druid#dungeons and dragons honor among thieves#dnd honor among thieves#dndhat
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Holga: You know what’s funny about Edgin? They’re my best friend, and anyone who’d hurt them is someone I’d murder, probably.
#honor among thieves#holga kilgore#edgin darvis#dungeons and dragons honor among thieves#dnd honor among thieves#dndhat
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Doric: I don’t need to touch grass, I need the fall of capitalism.
#honor among thieves#doric the druid#dungeons and dragons honor among thieves#dnd honor among thieves#dndhat#the queue got messed up
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Edgin: I regret getting dragged into your heterosexual tomfoolery.
#honor among thieves#edgin darvis#dungeons and dragons honor among thieves#dnd honor among thieves#dndhat
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