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till be like "i'm fighting demons" and then the demons be his and his friends' mental illnesses

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To Saetbyeol: [txt] hey, can we talk? [txt] i swear i just want to talk [txt] are you not getting my messages again? [txt] where are you? i'm coming over [txt] you know i would never hurt you, right? [txt] even if i'm upset? [txt] i really do just want to talk to you [txt] please [txt] i'm at your shrine. where are you?

Till glares at his unanswered texts again before putting his phone away and resuming his irate pacing.

One might think that the last time he had sought Hanabi out here might be enough to keep him away, but Till's never been very good at giving up -- too stubborn to let things go without a fight.

Why is this place so damn big? It will take him forever to find Hanabi if he has to search every nook and cranny... but he's not leaving until he does. What had started as an attempt to seek answers was quickly turning to concern for her well being. He can't say he's not angry necessarily, but it's accompanied by dozens of other emotions, too mixed to parse out. Till cups his hands around his mouth and calls out.

"Saetbyeol!! I just wanna make sure you're alright! And ask some questions! I'll leave after that if ya want me to!"

@hanabisays

[inablinkgone]

It's the happiest Till has felt in a long, long time.

His mother's arms around him, half-remembered but all too familiar still. Hanabi standing next to him. It feels like family and love and home…

But. Something. Is. Very. Wrong.

It also feels hollow… like a dream. Empty and lifeless.

Before Till can puzzle it out, his mother's hand on the back of his neck, which was holding him so tenderly, grips him harshly -- feeling much, much bigger all of a sudden. Till chokes and looks up--

--Into the eyes of his guardian, Urak.

The snarl that rips its way out of Till's throat is so ferocious and animalistic -- so full of fury and betrayal and a deep sadness -- that it burns on the way out, acrid and venomous, it feels like it blisters his windpipe.

Urak brings his other hand up to wrap fully around Till's neck -- to strangle him, to collar him -- but Till thrashes with all his might. Feeling his guardian's fingers slip too close to his mouth, Till bites down on instinct. Hard. Urak pulls away, howling in pain, with one finger less than he had before.

Till spits out Urak's finger, baring his teeth, his mouth full of green alien blood. It wasn't a fair fight -- it would never be a fair fight. Urak was much bigger than Till, stronger and heavier... but none of his friends are here, and Till isn't wearing his shock collar.

Not outnumbered. No tricks. Just Till and the bastard that made his life a living hell.

Urak's uninjured hand is still wrapped around Till's nape, and Till grabs it and twists, putting all of his body weight behind the motion. He hears Urak's arm break with a resounding crack, and his guardian screams in agony again, releasing Till immediately.

Still moving on instinct, Till grabs Hanabi's arm and tries to run, dragging her with him towards safety -- but a huge hand wraps around his ankle and he falls to the ground, the air leaving his lungs all at once.

Till is still gasping for breath when Urak uses his leg to fling him to the ground again, violently shaking Till's body like cracking a whip. Till wheezes, feeling multiple ribs break inside his chest with a sickening accuracy. Distantly, he feels Urak pull back on his leg until the broken bones shift, and Till screams in pain.

The familiar darkness of unconsciousness creeps into the edges of his vision. He's not dying, but the idea that he might wake up muzzled and collared, back under Urak's thumb, is somehow worse. He hopes Ivan will forgive him for wasting the life he gave him. He hopes Mizi and Sua are alright wherever they are.

Dazedly, he looks up at Hanabi, still standing in front of him as he feels himself being dragged into the darkness, fighting it all the way. His last thoughts before he loses consciousness are of her. He's not sure why she betrayed him -- or how it even happened, really -- but he hopes she'll be safe. He hopes he hurt Urak badly enough so that he can't capture her.

He hopes that maybe after this, Urak will think twice about getting another human pet.

"Uwa? ME?" She sounds so surprised, but she doesn't pull away, of course! This was Till's mother, Lo! There was no way she wouldn't greet the lovely woman who had birthed him and brought him into this world. She's so pretty.

"Hello, my name is Oh Saetbyeol! It's nice to meet you!" Hanabi's smile is warm but bright.

"Till Oppa, you must be SO happy to see your mother!" And Lo, of course, takes the hand Till reaches with. Her voice was soft and gentle, filled with longing. How she missed him so! Of COURSE she'd want to hold her baby boy in her arms!

It won't last long. The warmth, the love, and the safety that Till must have felt in this moment. And it happens all in a blink, where once Lo stood embracing her son, is now his Guardian.

"You should have just gone along and not questioned anything...Till oppa. You've upset me. Have fun with Urak for me, okay?"

[inablinkgone]

Till Perfect Blue redraw I did for my twt account

[inablinkgone]

His vision narrows, and color seeps out of the world; all of the color except for red -- the red of Ivan's pupils and the blood that spills from his mouth. Pain is sharp in his chest where his heart is beating much too fast, but not as sharp as in his neck where he's broken the skin. All Till can hear is his own heaving breaths and the screech of his nails against the metal of his brand--

--Until he hears singing.

The song is familiar down to his bones, but more so is the sensation of a woman singing to him. He'd forgotten that he was here with someone, barely registers her presence even when she drops down beside him, reaching out and grabbing blindly at her sleeve like a lifeline -- unable to break eye contact with the dead thing that is not Ivan. It moves closer, grin smug and mocking, but before it can press their lips together, Till hides his face in the woman's shoulder. He can't remember who she is right now, but the gesture is unconditionally trusting.

He breathes raggedly for a few minutes, heart pounding and chest heaving, but the woman continues singing through it all. Eventually, Till stops feeling Not Ivan's eyes on him. His heart slows to what could generously be called a normal rate, and his stomach stops feeling so much like it's trying to escape out of his throat. Reluctantly, he pulls back from the woman's -- from Sua's -- shoulder.

"S-sorry…" He says quietly, cringing at the mess he's made of everything. Sua's sleeve is stretched out and wrinkled from where Till had pathetically clung onto her, and his fingers are smeared with blood, which he wipes onto his jeans with a grimace. Till can't look Sua in the eye, but he's too exhausted to be properly embarrassed. "I… I didn't know that would happen…"

"But… t-thanks. You can hit me now. If ya want…" He'd seen her deck Ivan pretty good in the past for pouncing on her -- real impressive actually, Till had thought, for a someone of her size. Till wouldn't blame her if she wanted to hit him for it either; he can get pretty prickly about his personal space as well.

"…I never thought a tie would work. It's probably not even possible to tie…" Till admits softly, face pale, all the fight and passion he had early drained out of him by… whatever just happened to him. Till had seen all the previous seasons of Alien Stage as part of his training; if it were a viable strategy, surely someone would have done it by now or tried it earlier. "…But, I liked the idea of it. It was… quietly rebellious, I thought… And what kinda asshole would I be if I told Mizi I didn't think it would work, y'know? People gotta have hope for somethin'."

He's looking down at his hands when he realizes he's not the only one who's bleeding. Till frowns, fiercely concerned at the cut on Sua's knee.

"You're hurt…" Till huffs a little in disbelief. "'Not deserving of happiness'… Look what ya did for me… An' you don't even like me…" Till scoffs softly like it's the stupidest thing he's ever heard.

"I'm--" Till has back the word 'sorry' at the way Sua talks about her guardian. Till always hated it when the other kids in Anakt would look at his bruises with scorn and pity, as if Till was too stupid to give in and stop resisting. Urak would have made his life miserable no matter what Till did. Being originally lower class, Urak was too eager to show off the power he had over Till, too eager to break him. Urak would show him off at parties, bragging about how he tamed Till and turned him into 'the perfect pet'. What a joke. Even thinking about it now makes Till feel sick. "…I didn't know things were that bad for you. With your guardian, I mean."

"Wait, I--" Till has a sudden realization and begins fishing through his pockets, pulling out a fistful of adhesive bandages with little pictures of cats on them. What had started out as a habit, intending to keep his injuries out of Mizi's sight, had carried over to this world as well, Till finding them useful in many situations. He holds one out to Sua, looking unsure.

"D'you-- y'know-- I could--" Some color finally returns to Till's face, cheeks turning a little pink. "Um, it's-- Uh. It uh… It hurts less, um. If ya let someone else take care of it for ya… B-but, uh… Obviously, you can do it yourself…"

𝄞 "...Would a tie have actually changed anything in the end?" It sounded like the perfect ending in theory. "Do you think the segyein would have actually let us get away with that?" Maybe it was because her relationship with Nigeh was different than Till's was with his guardian, but she had no reason to believe that even if the competition had allowed it, that Nigeh would have. "If I didn't win, I would have been discarded by my guardian anyways. ...Pop." She mouthed the sound she associated with death with an eerie deadpan.

It was cute that he thought what they studied made them "smarter" though. It probably did in a sense, but anything they learned and read was curated. Sua was ironically too smart to not piece together that it was all just to indoctrinate them into obedience. She could only trust the things they'd been taught to a point.

Their conversation hit a roadblock before she could comment on some of the things he said that she wasn't even sure if she had the words for. The only person she'd ever really comforted was Mizi, and she was only able to because Mizi understood her temperament. Unfortunately, Till collapsing didn't free her from any of this responsibility.

When Till fell to his knees, Sua's first instinct wasn't to rush to his side. It was to stand there quietly like the perfect doll. Kids in Anakt that had outbursts like this were seldom seen again, and any kids that tried to help them were typically harshly punished at best. She'd learned to steel herself. To act like an object when there was trouble, because it was the only way to keep her from being punished. She probably looked broken.

But then Sua exhaled was an intensity as if she'd been holding her breath for days. 'I'm not a doll.' It took her a moment, but after Mizi crossed her mind she was able to reaffirm her own worth. She didn't need to be that anymore. She could be Sua, even if she didn't know exactly what that meant yet.

Sua was still quiet, but she rushed over to Till and slid down onto her knees at a speed that gashed the right one against a rock on the ground. She was in pain, but Till had it worse. She was reminded of Mizi, being a survivor herself... but what could she do for Till? What was she able to do herself as someone who didn't know how to comfort others?

"Oh, my Clematis... hope bloomed through the abyss..." Before she even realized what she was doing, she had begun to sing as she sat beside him. And would continue to sing until Till was feeling better.

[inablinkgone]

She places her hand on him, and the world doesn't end. He doesn't explode either, which is, honestly, great -- he's doing so good right now. Who cares if the only reason he hasn't run away is that he smashed his foot up? So what if the only way he can talk to her is by hiding his face in his knees?

…Y'know, it's actually not that bad…

"Oh." Till says, surprised, voice muffled by his knees. "It really d-does… feel a little b-better? T-thanks…"

"N-no, that's okay-- I-I wouldn't expect it t'get, like, m-magically healed or somethin'…" He peeks at her over his arms before quickly averting his gaze again, red-faced. "…Are you m-magic? Is t-that why you're all cold and ya look l-like the night sky an' stuff?" It wouldn't be the weirdest thing he's seen since coming here. Not even close...

"Didn't know you could k-keep a cat in a house… I think the ones 'round here don't g-got homes…" He's hiding his face again, but his curiosity is piqued. Though he sounds a little concerned as he asks: "Do they… like being in houses?"

His way of speaking was already interesting before, but now it seems very different. His words were very fluid earlier not too long ago, and it wasn't until he was looking towards her, did he seem to have issues.

Was she somehow causing him distress, so his speaking was off? Or was the pain in his foot that painful?

"I find them to be a restrictive feeling. For a very long time, I have gone without anything like them, and it's as you say 's'weird' to feel them upon my form."

While it isn't a for sure straight yes, it isn't also a for sure straight no. Was this a moment of reading between the lines? Her hand pulls away when he's suddenly drawing his knees to his chest and wrapping his arms around them, and it takes her a moment to move, but eventually she gently places her hand upon the bruised section of his foot, light enough that if he wanted, he could shift his foot away.

"I do not mind, beyond helping calm the damaged nerves, there is nothing else I can really do for it. I do not possess the means to heal others."

His question of the cats draws her to look towards his face.

"It is for my own kitten. A friend of mine has left one with me and I am still in the stages of learning how to take care of one."

[inablinkgone]

Till sucks in a breath, sharp and stinging. "I… I don't know if Ivan planned it…" He'd been so caught up in the how of it, of how Ivan had hurt Till and hurt himself, he… didn't really think to ask Ivan about his feelings. Didn't think he'd be able to understand them, but also didn't really try. The realization hurts like reopening a wound.

"Oh." Is all Till says in response to Mizi's revelation. It comes out flat, his mind still processing all the implications… and is it bad that his gut response is to be embarrassed? Looking back, it makes a lot of sense. They were just kids; there was no way that they were good at hiding the darker truths of their world from Mizi. Till thinks about all the days he spent avoiding Mizi and Sua, an eye or mouth swollen shut from the hits he'd taken, fresh cuts on his face and hands. He gives a watery, sheepish smile.

"W-we must've looked pretty stupid back then… Runnin' around tryna hide that k-kinda stuff from ya when you already knew…" Because the reality is, no matter what Mizi thinks she's done, she's never hurt anything more than his pride by pretending to be ignorant. He thinks back to her in the garden, how she was the sun their little group revolved around, bright and warm. Till can't help but wonder if the mask she wore was something she truly chose, or if it was something they, as naive kids, projected onto her, and she decided to play along until it was too late to turn back.

She's crying now, and his own tears spill over in sympathy. He can't stand to see her like this -- hurt. Hurting herself. It feels worse than beatings and gunshot wounds, and he reaches out to take her hand -- to stop her from doing that to herself -- but he's ashamed when he can't find the courage to reach her, and he forces himself to withdraw his hand instead. He leans forward a bit into the space between them, a little like he's being crushed by the force of his feelings, and a little like they're sharing shameful secrets.

"B-but… I did have a choice… once. I had the c-choice to go back to Anakt and I did. I even c-could have stopped what happened to Ivan… I…" Till's voice is small and pained, his throat full of broken glass. He's choking on it. "…Once Ivan… found me in solitary. Unlocked my restraints… got us through security somehow. We… we made it outside. I'd never been outside before… It was… so beautiful… We were so free…" Till smiles softly, tears in his eyes. Despite the guilt and doubt and hurt -- despite everything -- it's still one of his happiest memories. But, this story doesn't have a happy ending, and his smile breaks with a sob. "But I turned around and came b-back. He trusted me, and I left him there alone!" Till could give a million reasons why -- he didn't want to leave Mizi and Sua, he didn't think he deserved to be free if they couldn't be, he was worried about being caught, worried about being punished worse, worried about Ivan being punished -- but none of those reasons can change what he did.

"…I was… scared. Eventually, Ivan followed me back t-too. I dunno why…" 'We were supposed to escape together,' Ivan had told him, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Maybe to Ivan it was, but Till just couldn't understand it.

The guilt itches just below the surface of the skin on his neck, and he scratch, scratch, scratches at it. He wants to open up the scar on his throat and stain his hands red with blood. "Maybe he didn't think he'd make it on his own… M-my point is, I don't think anyone 'chooses' to go to a place like that unless they're… cornered. Unless they're afraid of somethin' worse…" He looks up at her, teary and unsure, but still pressing on. "We're not the same… but, are we really so different? Too different to understand each other?"

Till wrenches his hand away from his throat and slams it into his chest, open-palmed and passionate, bloody fingertips painting spots of his shirt red. He can't stand to watch the way she flays herself open over this when he knows she doesn't deserve it. He knows it.

"You think Sua and Ivan and I deserve happiness, but you don't?! I don't accept that!" He's yelling now, fiercely agitated. An unnamed emotion bubbles up in him, boiling over the usual anxiety and fluster he feels when talking to Mizi. It simmers like anger but feels soft like forgiveness. A frustrated sob tries to escape his mouth, but he traps it behind clenched teeth.

"I don't think happiness is something finite that can be rationed out over a lifetime! It's- It's not something that can be kept for later like candy! Who wants to live in a world like that?!" Hot, frustrated tears are flowing freely, stinging the new cuts on his neck and smearing his collar with blood. "I- I never wanted anyone to be miserable just 'cause I had it rough! N-never! Not you -- not anyone! Why can't we all just be happy?! Why shouldn't we all get to be happy?!"

WHEN HE FLINCHES, GUILT WRACKS HER BODY. she hadn't meant to raise her voice like that, and yet it still happened, causing him more pain. it only serves to make the voices in her head louder 一 visceral. she falls silent for now, simply allowing herself to listen to what till says, withholding a bit of herself as to not let a repeat happen again. what he says, though... it only serves to break her heart even more, the fact he might think he was a terrible person.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀how could he think when一?

❝ But you're not... ? Till, that's not true. I don't... ❞ get it, she wants to say, looking up with brows furrowed. she sees the sting of budding tears, though says nothing, lips remaining sealed as ever. ah, you're doing it again, you're awful. ❝ I saw what Ivan did. In that moment, it was almost like watching everything happen with Sua all over again. But he... didn't plan for it, right? So you wouldn't have been able to know, ❞ she explains, peeling back the mask that she had worn for so long, one she had never shown sua in all her acting so that her beloved would not know what she was planning.

tears, too, begin to prick at the corner of her eyes, hot and sticky as she trembles just a little. ❝ So why... would it be bad? ❞ she cannot seem to grasp what he means, not when the comparison to it all is her. ❝ For you to be happy when you never got that chance to be back home? Sua, Ivan, you... of course you all deserve to be saved. To get a chance to be happy! ❞ her voice lifts, only slightly, as if to accentuate it, like those old days of naive coping all comes crashing back down upon her. but that was what made her different from them, wasn't it?

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀一 because she always acted so unaware. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀一 because she blinded herself from what she didn't want to see.

a tear streams down her cheek, making her skin crawl, as if it were searing hot. ❝ You and I aren't the same. You deserve to be happier. You deserve to live your life free and better off than back then. You all didn't really have a choice otherwise, right? Right? Unlike me, who got to go to Anakt because I wanted to after seeing all those awful deaths on screen. That's why this is all my fault, ❞ she laments, fingers digging into the palm of her hands, near breaking skin were she not careful.

❝ Because... this really is all my fault. Because I pretended not to see anything to everyone's faces. Even when I knew the truth. All of this happened. That's why一 ❞ i don't deserve to be the one who lives.

[inablinkgone]

"Love…er?" Till's face brightens into understanding before splitting into a sweet smile. "You love each other! That's… that's great, man! That kinda thing is really… special, y'know?" He says it with all sincerity and earnest happiness, but he still leans forward to whisper to Eiden conspiratorially.

"Ya seem real happy an' good an' everything, but I just gotta check… You… You really do love him, right? An' you're glad t'be with him? Spending time with him isn't… like--" Till struggles to find a word that would be fitting in this world, "--An obligation, right? 'Cause if ya need help, you can tell me. I'd help ya out."

Till could probably assume Eiden's boyfriend isn't an alien from his world, but it never hurt to double-check.

"Who? Freddie? Course he was alive." Till's old guitar? Till grins again, but it's sardonic this time, like a dog who bites their abusive owner and shows off a mouth full of blood. "Emphasis on 'was.' He had a wife and two kids if I'm rememberin' correctly. Not that he told me that, I found out about that later."

Till looks back down at his sketchbook.

"Oh! Okay, I know 'bout birds. The ones I've seen up close were a lot bigger… Mm, but I guess the wings should've given it away, huh?" He cocks his head to the side like a confused animal, staring at Eiden. "Uh, yeah? Course they're a couple… That's why I drew TWO of them?"

He turns to the next page, which features a dog being walked on a leash, their head coming up to just past their owner's knees, and... something else being walked on a leash… The monstrous creature clearly dwarfed their owner, taller than them and wider by far, with two heads -- each with a mouth full of huge, sharp teeth.

"These are two dogs who live in my neighborhood," Till says casually. "Aaaaannnnddd… that's all I got so far." He nudges Eiden with his elbow, excitedly.

"C'mon, lemme see yours! I don't have any other artist friends, I wanna see what kinda stuff you draw!"

" Yeah-- ! Except uh.... not just friends! "

He doesn't know the word? He wouldn't be the first one, even Veoc didn't know of it before. Outdated term apparently. Eiden then wonders what would be a word Till would recognize...

" Lover? Either way it's all allowed. It wasn't in your world huh... "

That's most universal he can think of.

" That'd suck -- but it probably wouldn't stop me... "

Though he wonders about Veoc. He's more of a rule stickler after all.

" Oh I have friends like that too--- like, people who I argue with all the time and stuff! "

"But it was alive... the guitar? "

Lower class he said. So there's some kind of social order at play there. He... doesn't really like the sound of that - societies tend to be unequal anyway but it's never a good sign when the word lower class is spoken so casually.

The pages turn, Eiden's neck stretching closer as they do, eagerly observing details and all. He's calling them aliens though---

" Those are called birds. I think it might be a couple too...? I mean I'm no expert but..."

[inablinkgone]

"Yeah, you're a bit of a prick," Till says bluntly, but he's taken aback the next moment when the guy actually apologizes.

"But, I mean… if ya came all this way to say sorry, you must be at least learning from your mistakes unlike me… heh." He gives a self-disparaging little laugh, rubbing his forehead more vigorously before giving an explosive sigh.

"Gah… It's my fault too, I guess. 'M always lettin' people get under my skin- and I know they want me to react like I do, it's just… it's like I can't help myself sometimes…"

"Least I didn't try to punch your lights out… That woulda made me feel really bad."

"It's cold. Unless you planned on frosting out here." With that being said, Juliyah shrugs at Till's outburst. He seems to have felt something, because he's paddling back in a sense. Juliyah shrugs again.

He isn't bothered by the guy's outburst or his lashing out. He may not, but Pride has a lot to say right this moment.

"Me neither." Then he turns to finally face Till with a smile, "I'm usually just someone who pushes buttons without any regard." That wasn't really the truth, but it was truth enough that it actually happened, didn't it? He kept goading this guy on.

Juliyah exhales and rubs the back of his neck. Where his tattoo circles around, he runs his finger over it a few times, "Sorry."

[inablinkgone]

"Mmhmm." Till hums skeptically, keeping what he would call 'a healthy distance' between him and Orthus. Out of grabbing range. It's not that Till didn't like Orthus -- he actually liked him more than any other alien, felt a certain kinship with the way the segyein was collared and caged in Anakt with them -- Till could just never tell if Orthus liked him or hated him.

After a tumultuous start to their relationship, where Till had stopped Orthus from throwing Mizi to the ground, only to get thrown down himself, Till had only reluctantly gotten closer to Orthus at Ivan's request. Seeing the segyein interact with Ivan, it was clear Orthus loved Ivan; all gentle nuzzles and eager to please. But, when Till tried to put his arms in Orthus's mouth like he'd seen Ivan do to make amends. Orthus had stilled for a few seconds, just long enough for Till to feel like he'd been accepted, before the huge alien lifted him into the air and tossed him around like a toy. The message was clear to Till. 'Hate.'

Ironically, that was the first time he realized Sua didn't hate him. He'd never seen her look so concerned. And for Till's safety no less.

"Yeah, we'd better go get him something to eat before he decides to eat me instead…" Till grumbles. If he scrambles after Ivan so he's not left alone with the segyein, bumping their shoulders together as they walk, that's nobody's business but Till's.

Ivan seems like he's in a weird mood, but he's just as difficult for Till to read as his alien dog is. Is he… unhappy that Till and Orthus aren't more friendly? Anxious about it?

"C'mon, Ivan… He hates me. He's always hated me. You have to know that…" Till frowns, brows furrowed in confusion because… Maybe Ivan… doesn't know that? After what he'd done for Till, Ivan would have to be pretty stupid to just let his pet eat him. And if Till knows something Ivan isn't, it's stupid -- well, not about things like this at least.

"…Why do you care so much if I get along with your dumb dog?"

Ivan couldn't entirely say he minded that Orthus' presence kept people away. He served as a way for Ivan to spend time with Till, but also as a way to allow him to distract himself from the feelings gnawing in his gut.

"He's been really well behaved. Really." He pets the two-headed dog, who settled in the sand. While he's trying to distract himself with making sure the creature is comfortable, he can't help but keep glancing over to see if Till stays close, or strays, or even tries to pet him. An ill-fated attempt to equate how approachable he himself is to Till at the moment. They've spent time together, of course, but he still feels the sting on his face that makes him want to jump over and get into a fight, just to feel some semblance of touch. Bridge that distance that was creature after their round.

He doesn't. Instead he looks at the sky for a moment to compose himself, putting his mask back on before turning to Till.

"We should get some food, and something for Orthus too, come on." Tying off Orthus' leash - which is really just a formality because Orthus is far too big to be tied down by just a leash - he gets up and starts walking toward the bonfires, signaling where the long tables of food are.

SPIRALFES 2025 -> BON(D)S OF FIRE

@inablinkgone

[inablinkgone]

"How are ya supposed to free the animal trapped in this thing?"

Till taps the companion star against the edge of a nearby surface as if trying to crack open an egg.

"Are ya supposed to smash it open like the weapon one?"

[inablinkgone]

"awww, so you liked me back then? i'm so relieved!! I thought you hated me!"

[inablinkgone]

how alien stage portrays love is everything to me

as a queer person who has more found family than blood family, the way alien stage attempts to portray the entire depth and spectrum of the undefinable thing we call "love" takes my breath away.

it's about the endurance of the human spirit and how marginalized people will always be able to form bonds and be strengthened by their connection to others even if they can't define the bonds they made.

it's about love and loving despite the fact that you know you will lose them some day.

it's about family and finding the people you belong with and sticking by them no matter what.

it's about finding empathy for others, not necessarily because you understand them completely, but because you love them as your family, friends, or fellow humans.

whether it's romantic, platonic, or something indefinable

life is about love.

[inablinkgone]

To be inside your heart 💚

[inablinkgone]

"I did NOT say I was 'lonely'!" Till's expression wars between horrified, embarrassed, and furious, eyes flicking from Ivan to Rei, face turning a vivid red. "I SAID it was 'quiet'!" Till had only been thinking about how lonely it was, living alone, especially because he'd bonded with his ex-roommate. He would never tell Ivan that it feels like everyone who likes him leaves, and that he's taken to keeping the TV on all the time because the silent, empty house reminds him too much of solitary confinement. He'd only think it.

"AND NOBODY ASKED FOR CEREAL!" Till slams the fridge door shut, narrowly missing Ivan's fingers. Ivan doesn't seem worried at all that he might get hit, and it's pissing Till off even more. He doesn't give a fuck if Ivan is hungry or not; he's lucky Till hasn't fed him a knuckle sandwich.

"You think I won't hit ya, huh?! Ya think I've gone soft livin' here?!" The problem is, Till must have gotten soft, because he doesn't actually want to hit Ivan. Which is just as well that Rei gets between them, forcing Till to backstep rapidly or brush up against him.

The fact that Rei has, in fact, not also been kidnapped is less comforting than Till thought it might be. Probably because he seems to be a willing accomplice instead. Now they're making plans to bail each other out?!

Till gives an explosive sigh, all the energy he woke up with suddenly gone as he collapses into a nearby chair. He drops his head to cradle his temples in his hands and bemoans his misfortune to be surrounded by this insanity, quietly aloud.

"Oh my god… My stuff is here too? Fuck…" Clearly, Till doesn't think this is very convenient.

"There's no way… you two actually think it's normal not to ask me first…? Am I crazy? I must be having, like… a stress-induced episode… This is insane. Absurd. Unbelievable... I still don't even know where I am..." He says it in a small voice, willing his heart to stop its anxiously fast pace.

@foreverembrace -> vamplyrical

"Tomato juice it is." He responds cheerily, walking over to the fridge and pulling it out. He's holding it when the hurricane that woke up half the Fens comes in yelling at him.

Between Rei's sleepiness yet willingness for the morning drama and Till's aggression, Ivan can't help the smile on his face. A cute morning, great for him. He's not even forcing the smile, given how half-captive audience.

You know, someone with a terrible personality.

"It's okay, it's just cereal. I don't want the kitchen to smell too bad yet. Oh, right, milk," setting the juice on the counter, he's rounded on before he can grab the milk. "It's a function of this place. When you buy a new house, you get to pick some roommates. Rei invited me," he waves across the kitchen as he's about to get punched in the face, "And you said you were lonely, living by yourself, so I figured it would be perfect. Thank you for letting us live here, Rei."

Ivan explains this as though it's simple. Matter-of-fact, really.

Again, the way someone with a terrible personality could.

"I'll text Mizi and Sua, promise. And if I get arrested, either one of you could bail me out. It's easy." And with the casual nature of a man with a terrible personality, he goes to reach over Till to grab the milk from the fridge...

@vamplyrical -> inablinkgone

[inablinkgone]

Till skids into the entryway in bare feet and rumpled sleep clothes. His eyes lock onto Ivan immediately -- who is, of all things, getting ready to cook -- and narrow with suspicious anger.

"I don't want any of your shitty cooking," Till growls, stomping into the kitchen with clenched fists and hackles raised. "I want to know why the fuck I woke up here! And where the fuck is here?! And how the fuck did I get here?!"

When Rei speaks, Till notices him sitting there for the first time and turns to the other dark-haired, red-eyed man (Why are there more of them? Where are they coming from? Are they here to torture Till specifically?) with wide-eyed surprise.

"Oh… Hey, Rei…"

Till stares at Rei, blinking a few times, and clearly processing this new information before coming to -- what is in his mind -- the only logical conclusion. He turn back to Ivan, lighting up with anger again like flipping on a switch.

"HIM TOO?! What is WRONG with you?! You can't just DO shit like this! You're going to get arrested! You're gonna make Mizi and Sua cry, and I'm gonna have a heart attack! I-- You--" Till runs out of words to voice his frustration, gritting his teeth and seething silently. He had promised himself he would stop getting into so many fights, but setting Ivan straight when he's crossed a line is Till's right-- nay, his god-given duty.

Till approaches Ivan, cracking his knuckles menacingly.

"Don't worry, Rei. I got this."

@foreverembrace -> vamplyrical

When he wakes up in a bed, he's a bit surprised he didn't get a coffin. Maybe he should go buy one, so he can experience how Rei prefers to sleep. He had already experienced many types of beds and 'beds', so it would be nice to experience even more.

Still, it's nice. It's quiet. And he takes his time getting out of bed. He's making himself some coffee and deciding what to cook, when he hears a familiar shout. Since he's angry and not concerned, at least he seems to have figured it out.

"I'm in the kitchen!" He calls in turn. Rei might wake up, but then again, he likely only just decided to go to sleep. He'll either be deep in the throes of slumber, or he'll have just settled in. Just in case, he moved to close the shades, before realizing he didn't really have to. sunrise in the Black Fens had already passed, which meant it would be dark until the end of the day.

Whoever arrives first simply gets greeted with a grin.

"Want some breakfast? Coffee?"

@vamplyrical -> inablinkgone

[inablinkgone]

till's neck :)