in-turmoil-we-return

[in-turmoil-we-return]

Today's my birthday. MY DAY! Yet all I can think about is her.

[in-turmoil-we-return]

I tried to understand why I deprive myself of sleep so stubbornly until I realised, it's not sleep I'm trying to avoid, it's waking up.

[in-turmoil-we-return]

I don't even drink coffee. I'd say it's better than the alternative but that seems less true every day. Such is life

[in-turmoil-we-return]

The fire I lit for you to stay warm by is now consuming me. Cold flames turn my bones into coal and my body can barely carry the weight of my own heart.

[in-turmoil-we-return]

I try so hard to find you inside other people that I lose myself-

[in-turmoil-we-return]

I've never really cried before. Now it's all I can do.

[in-turmoil-we-return]

Shallow breaths cause panic but I can barely stimulate my lungs enough to keep me alive. So shallow breaths are all I have

[in-turmoil-we-return]

It's 4 am and I can barely breathe, I refuse it to be because of you but who else could take my breath away like this?

[in-turmoil-we-return]

You can't wait until life isn't hard anymore before you decide to be happy

Nightbird

[in-turmoil-we-return]

Beauty has become so torturous since I can't share it with you anymore.

[in-turmoil-we-return]

Reading the same chapter won't give you a different ending. Reading the same chapter won't give you a different ending. Reading the same chapter won't give you a different ending.

[in-turmoil-we-return]

Still, being able to feel pain was good, he thought. It's when you can't even feel pain anymore that you're in real trouble.

Haruki Murakami

[in-turmoil-we-return]

It's hard to wait for something that might never happen but it's hard to give up when you know it's everything.

[in-turmoil-we-return]

My heart beats so heavy in my chest. I don't know how much longer I can bear it's weight.

It seemed so light in your hands. Please, can't you just take it back?

[in-turmoil-we-return]

I can hear the echo of your name in every place I visit. I can't enjoy the beauty of things if you're not there to share it with me.

[in-turmoil-we-return]

I was killed, yet you haunt.

Your presence lingers in the depths of my dreams, a haunting spectre that taints every waking moment. Each morning dawns with an overwhelming sense of dread, accompanied by an insatiable yearning for the feeling of home. But home, once a sanctuary, has been stolen from me.

You've plundered the essence of comfort, leaving me adrift in a sea of unease.

Night after night, my dreams grow in intensity. 

Amongst the vivid landscapes of my slumber, the longing for you reigns supreme, dominating all other emotions and desires. It is a relentless ache that permeates the fabric of my being, reminding me of what was lost and what remains unattainable.

In this realm of dreams, you hold sway over my subconscious, a phantom that refuses to release its grip. The stolen feeling of home and the yearning for your presence intertwine, casting shadows upon my nocturnal reveries. I am left to navigate a realm of conflicting emotions, where the haunting echoes of your absence and the ache of longing converge, shaping a landscape of torment.

Yet, amidst the turmoil, a glimmer of hope emerges, as I strive to find solace beyond the confines of my dreams. It is a journey of reclaiming what was taken, healing the wounds inflicted, and discovering a new sense of belonging that transcends the boundaries of your influence.

[in-turmoil-we-return]

I miss the sense of home you gave, and it pains me that now I have to spend every waking moment longing to be home.