improper-use-of-germx
Hello universe ♥️
57 posts
Writing blog because I like non-human romancing (19 y/o) (he/him) 🏳️‍⚧️
Last active 60 minutes ago
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improper-use-of-germx · 4 days ago
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Toby Fox is trying to MURDER ME
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improper-use-of-germx · 6 days ago
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Human: *crying, in pain, experiencing minor neurological symptoms* This is delicious, what's in it? Alien: ...our strongest, deadliest poison. Human: How much for a bottle to send home? My mom would absolutely love it. Alien: If you let a team of our finest scientists deliver it and study her reaction, it's free. Human: Sweet, I'm sure she'd be up for that, let me give her a call--
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improper-use-of-germx · 7 days ago
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tumblr discourse after 13 years on this fucking website
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improper-use-of-germx · 30 days ago
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When I was a kid first getting accustomed to the wonderful world of computers and the internet, one of my favorite things to do was download print-out coloring sheets and mangle them in MS Paint.
This one was my favorite I think. I was 11 going on 12. Also I had no idea how much a pizza cost.
Date modified: 1/29/2002 2:49PM
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improper-use-of-germx · 1 month ago
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I think i saw you mention Gav's Starline series once, so i came to ask you if you listened to the first episode of season three?
YES I HAVEEEE
I love how the listener characters have evolved as time has gone on. Plus the code name "Hermes" for a human messenger duing a galactic cold war is badass.
I'm already attached to the new love interest. A big tough scaly alien man, and he's a cowboy?? BITCH!!
Also there's a mysterious and dangerous villian who fucking hates us for some reason. Who's voiced by a whole different person!! The production value has gotten so much higher, honestly I'm kinda nervous about this series.. What if it changes my monsterfucking brain chemistry forever
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improper-use-of-germx · 1 month ago
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[+18]
Alien would prefer to use a strap on his darling during the first few times doing penetrative sex on account of their weird tentacle dick and they're apprehensive about the effects their cum has on humans (it's 1000% safe, but Al's saliva temporarily becomes acidic when combined with baking soda so they feel they can never be too safe since a fair amount of their anatomy is a mystery to him.) Oral and hand stuff waves off most of their worries, but also Al is a virgin who's already been established to cum at the very sound of his darling's voice so full on sex with them would have Al overestimated before they even stick the tip in.
"You ever turn on a water hose on full blast and watch it flop around from the force of the stream? That's pretty much what my dick would be like inside you."
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improper-use-of-germx · 2 months ago
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Thinking about Mychael waiting for his friend to come back...
(Mychael and all of Mushroom Oasis belongs to the talented and wonderful @/deerspherestudios)
It's recently been answered that Mychael wouldn't stalk you before the agreed-upon hangout. He wants things to go well, he can certainly wait five days if it means you'll continue to see him. I mean, he has to. There's so much at stake now.
Of course, that doesn't make it any easier on him. Five days isn't a lot in the grand scheme of things. Five sunrises, five cycles of his daily chores, five sleeps if he decided to adhear to the whole circadian-rhythm thing (which he does end up doing, makes the nights go by faster).
But knowing what's at the end of all the waiting- if he didn't know any better he'd say that the sun was purposefully setting slower on purpose.
Eventually realizes that putting so much focus on the passage of time was making things worse, so he tries throwing himself into little projects. Knitts a few dozen articles of clothing with you in mind, he doesn't even really mean to make so many. He just wants to get the size right this time, and it turns out knitting for someone smaller than him eats up even less time than it usually does.
He hugs each of the sweaters to his chest to try and see if it feels right. They're all too empty in the middle for him to really be sure.
You invade all of his thoughts, no matter what it is he's doing. He has the urge to make extra of everything he cooks, finds himself glancing across the table at where you sat before and wondering what you would have to say about food. He doesn't sit in that chair your entire absence, he likes knowing that there's a spot saved for you.
Talks to the ladies a lot. He spends a good amount of time with them everyday regardless, but now he's yapping at them constantly. What you might be doing that very second, what he wants to do when you're here next, the exact nature of his feelings for you.
Mychael already kinda knew he loved you. "Love" as a theme was everywhere, especially what he had come to understand as the romantic kind. Even if it hadn't interested him too awful much, the idea of love always managed to worm it's way into every story he read. When the feelings started to manifest he was quick to catch on, even if he didn't know what to do with himself afterward.
His chickens are the first to hear him admit it outloud. He buries his face in Rosie's feathers and mumbles it to her, face completely blue. All of these feelings are so new to him, he just needs someone to vent to. Thankfully, the ladies aren't very judgemental.
He might use the time to do some research on relationships and romance and what have you. Some of the books in the library are... let's just say a bit much for him to handle. But he finds himself enjoying the idea of dating someone, being close to someone constantly and sharing an extra-special, personal bond. The daydreams these books put in his head are addicting, but also overwhelming.
He's just so excited for your next visit, and the feelings seem to get stronger by the day. Who knows what he's going to feel when he finally sees you again?
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improper-use-of-germx · 4 months ago
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Lindt, Mondelēz, and Nestlé together raked in nearly $4 billion in profits from chocolate sales in 2023. Hershey’s confectionary profits totaled $2 billion last year. The four corporations paid out on average 97 percent of their total net profits to shareholders in 2023. The collective fortunes of the Ferrero and Mars families, who own the two biggest private chocolate corporations, surged to $160.9 billion during the same period. This is more than the combined GDPs of Ghana and Ivory Coast, which supply most cocoa beans. Decades of low prices have made farmers poorer and hampered their ability to hire workers or invest in their farms, limiting bean yield. Old cocoa trees are particularly vulnerable to disease and extreme weather. Many farmers are abandoning cocoa for other crops, or selling their land to illegal miners.
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improper-use-of-germx · 5 months ago
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Members of the Navajo nation drape the Palestinian flag across their land, 2019
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improper-use-of-germx · 5 months ago
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barron was trying to get reincarnated as a lotus flower
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improper-use-of-germx · 6 months ago
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Okay so I just watched a video of a boy who once identified as trans still got bottom surgery after he realized he was cis and people were so fucking rude? Like just because this cis dude has a vagina people were calling him transphobic and wishing death upon him.
So this is a reminder that when we as a community advocate for bodily autonomy and gender surgeries that means everyone regardless of gender can do whatever they want with their bodies.
If someone who is cisgender wants top/bottom surgery THEY CAN GET IT. If someone wants facial plastic surgeries that we usually find creepy like buccal fat removal or eye lifts THEY CAN GET IT. And here’s the really controversial one but if someone wants to do things that harm their body like hard drugs or diy mods THEY CAN DO IT!
Because body autonomy isn’t just “I can get bottom surgery to pass” or “I can get an abortion” it’s also all the wild stuff that makes us uncomfortable and that’s okay.
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improper-use-of-germx · 6 months ago
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A selection of emojis from a love letter written in 1916.
The final one appears to have been the author's favorite as he wrote: "I'm particularly proud of this one - It looks so natural. Bless its 'ittle 'eart-"
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improper-use-of-germx · 7 months ago
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Happy pride to the Gaboon Viper (Bitis Gabonica), the heaviest venomous snake in Africa
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improper-use-of-germx · 8 months ago
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Ma'am this is the space restaurant we only serve bumpy fruit and severed tentacle
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improper-use-of-germx · 8 months ago
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Thinking about members of completely differing species still preparing food for each other. It's literally such a goldmine with sci-fi and alien romances.
Like... I looked up the popular cuisine from your home. I found most of the needed ingredients, plus a few substitutes that I triple-checked were non-toxic for you. I converted measurements. I definitely stained the entire kitchen because i had no idea this was the kind of thing that stained. I watched and rewatched tutorials made for someone with different hands, and I somehow made it work. I love you.
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improper-use-of-germx · 8 months ago
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Vampire that bites you and licks your wound afterwards like a cat
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improper-use-of-germx · 9 months ago
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