impractical-insanity-guide

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This screenshot from a gardening Facebook group has been on my phone for several years and I'm not sure I'm ever going to be able to delete it. Apparently it comes from a British gardening book from the 80s. I know we all joke that the English are afraid of flavor, but I assure you, you are not prepared for this.

GARLIC

Until quite recently, scientists smiled at all the wonderful medicinal powers claimed for garlic, but recent research has shown that there is some truth in a few of the old wives' tales. Garlic, of course, has an important role in Continental but not in British cookery — it really isn't worth growing unless you are a fan.

Any well-drained spot will do. Buy a head of garlic from the greengrocer or supermarket and split it up into individual cloves. Plant them 2 in. deep and 6 in. apart in March. Apart from watering in dry weather there is nothing else to do until the foliage turns yellow in July or August. Lift the bulbs and allow to dry under cover, then store in a cool, frost-free place.

If you are a beginner with garlic, you must use it very sparingly or you will be put off for ever. Rub a wooden salad bowl with a clove before adding the ingredients. Rub the skin of poultry before roasting and then you can try dropping a whole unskinned clove into a casserole or stew, removing it before serving. If by then you have lost a little of your garlic fear, you can try using crushed (not chopped) garlic in meat etc. as the Continentals do.

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fuck it, reblog to give the person you rb'ed this from a freshly baked buttery croissant.

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Wojtek was a Syrian brown bear adopted by the Polish II Corps during World War II. He was officially enlisted as a soldier to ensure he could travel with the unit and was given the rank of private. He became famous for helping carry artillery shells during the Battle of Monte Cassino. Wojtek was also known for drinking beer, eating cigarettes, and wrestling with soldiers.

After the war, he was taken to Scotland, where he lived at the Edinburgh Zoo until his passing in 1963.

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lets hear it for transgenderism and faggotry. can I get a round of applause for transgenderism and faggotry

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i bet there were guys in the 1800s who were super fucking Reddit about everything, but no one had the right word yet for why those guys were so annoying. so they just had to wonder

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Bean Sprout meeting a dog for the first time

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"everybody hates me" factoid actually just a statistical error. The average person doesn't hate you, especially not your friends. You, a person who sits in your room experiencing self loathing every day, are an outlier adn should not have been counted.

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my pet mold spores

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So fun

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crochet aquarium

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Someone remade Titanic so it starred their cat.

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Dracula: I have crossed oceans of time to find you - you are the reincarnation of my own beloved wife!

Mina: I see. And we got married when exactly?

Dracula: uhhhhhhh mid 1400s I think? It's been like 500 years

Mina: cool. And then I ...died, is that right?

Dracula: it destroyed me! But you are alive now!

Mina: and then - let me make sure I'm following - then you died also?

Dracula: to arise as you see me now - immortal Lord of Darkness!

Mina: right. But, technically speaking, you did die first, right? And continue to be dead at this time? Like, medically speaking?

Dracula: I am the Great Undead who-

Mina: do you have a heartbeat?

Dracula: I no longer require such things

Mina: so I am the living wife of a dead husband, is that correct?

Dracula: in your mortal pedestrian terms - but I shall

Mina: uh huh. Let me consult my lawyer. Darling, what is the legal status of the living wife of a dead husband?

Jonathan: according to the Widows & Orphans act, the living wife of a dead husband is defined as a widow

Mina: and I think I heard somewhere that a widow is at liberty to marry again

Jonathan: according to English common law, with biblical precedent, that is correct

Mina: cool. I choose this guy.

Jonathan: (yippee)

Mina: I believe I am also entitled to half his stuff via intestate succession?

Jonathan: yes that is correct, the remainder to be equitably divided between yourself and any other heirs of his body

Mina: cool. Did we have kids?

Dracula: well no but -

Mina: great. I always wanted a Castle

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I never uploaded my safety wizard costume cause I didn't get good photos so here's some from the work day!

And a special low quality recording!

I got several questions about why I wore a beard.

Because wizards have beards! XD