imluvnit

[imluvnit]

the sunset was beautiful tonight

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*americans chanting gets louder in the background*

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contrary to popular belief i think calvin's adhd is, funnily enough, medicated. he takes extended release ritalin every morning alongside his chocolate frosted sugar bombs. this is because he appreciates being more easily able to focus on his various Schemes, Projects, and Machinations while more effectively ignoring schoolwork

[imluvnit]

Mickey 17 + baby creepers

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Being 12 in the late 00’s sucked but at least most of my bad fuckass opinions weren’t immortalized on the internet

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Who the fuck is that thing tolling for

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Mark Vomit (2020)

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It recently came up in conversation with my toddler that some birds can talk, and this has caused her great concern.

See, we were talking about how movies are pretend and how in real life, animals don’t talk. I mentioned that there are some birds who talk a little bit, but not like the animals in movies, and she just looked at me like “???”

So I informed her that some kinds of parrots can copy sounds that people make, and can learn how to say words. I thought this would give her a giggle, as fun new facts often do, but she was just deeply perplexed and a little worried about this.

“Birds can talk?” “Do they ask questions?” “What do they say?” Why do they talk?” “Do chickens talk?” “What about Blue Jays?” “Why do some birds talk?” “How do they talk?” “Birds TALK???”

We showed her a video of a parrot doing the “Hello, pretty bird, give a kiss” thing, and she was dead silent the whole time, hugging her comfort pillow with her knees to her chest. We asked if she wanted us to turn it off, and she shook her head. But we also asked if she wanted to see another one, and she shook her head even harder.

I don’t know why it has distressed her so greatly to learn that some birds can mimic human speech; but then again, I don’t know why it doesn’t distress the rest of us more to know that some birds can mimic human speech.

I keep thinking about that post that’s like “The first person to hear a parrot talk was probably Not Okay.” Because that’s exactly what happened. She had never been introduced to the concept, and her entire worldview got SHOOK.

[imluvnit]

kylienshank

[imluvnit]

it really is crazy that u can be like i think i would prefer my partner not to watch strangers having sex and the overwhelming response will be OK THEN HOPE YOURE PREPARED TO DIE ALONE LOL

[imluvnit]

"I bet it doesn't hurt that bad, I don't have time for this shit."

[imluvnit]

Ma-ia hi

Ma-ia ho

Ma-ia ha

Ma-ia ha ha

[imluvnit]

the bunnies did the lady and the tramp kiss. help i’m crying

[imluvnit]

The kid will cherish this for their whole life. If they remember it.

[imluvnit]

I want to be the first person on the moon to shoot a sniper rifle at earth and hit a wasp nest.  my whole life so far is leading up to that moment