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straight men have beauty standards for men that are completely different than the beauty standards women and gay men have for men and then they get mad when they conform to the beauty standards other podcast bros set for them and women still don’t find them attractive

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Ithaca saga completely changed my brain chemistry.

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My friends are convinced I run a wildly popular blog (I do not) so I've started (jokingly) telling them I'm you

You better fucking watch your back

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this is how it went right

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The Most Beautiful Man In The World, Who Lives In My Building And Only Ever Sees Me When I Look Disgusting

The Most Beautiful Man In The World lives in my building. i don’t know his name. we met on a bus, when i smiled WAY too brightly at him for strangers because, honest to god, my whole heart lit up in a way that made me think, “oh, i must know that guy!!” no. i didn’t. he’s just The Most Beautiful Man In The World.

what does The Most Beautiful Man In The World look like? i will tell you:

like the way the sun spills over water at dusk

like the way food smells when you’re hungry

like the sound angels make when they’re doing folk covers of pop songs on their heavenly harps

and also kind of like the guy who played Chad in “high school musical,” if the guy who played Chad in “high school musical” was the most beautiful man in the world.

i tell you this not only to brag that i live in the same apartment complex as The Most Beautiful Man In The World but also because i want to know WHY, if there even IS A GOD, every single time i run into The Most Beautiful Man In The World i look like a LITERAL DUMPSTER TROLL that has just CRAWLED OUT OF ITS GARBAGE HOUSE in search of FREE WIFI AND A SLURPEE. i want to know why i can never just BE COOL with The Most Beautiful Man In The World when we ride the elevator together, which is!!!! kind of often!!!!!

DID YOU GUYS KNOW that sometimes i look nice?? sometimes i actually look like a FUNCTIONING ADULT!!! sometimes i would go so far as to say i am an ATTRACTIVE INDIVIDUAL!!!!! 

you know who DOESN’T know any of that???

THE MOST BEAUTIFUL MAN IN THE WORLD, WHO LIVES IN MY BUILDING!!!

here’s a quick rundown of the last few times i ran into The Most Beautiful Man In The World:

i was wearing a maxi dress i had very cleverly biked home in, without a helmet* (*don’t try that at home, kids), in the VERY HOT AFTERNOON SUN, so i was a GROSS SWEAT MONSTER but without any OBVIOUS INDICATOR that there was a normal reason for it, and i couldn’t stand to look at him so i just glared at my phone while he probably wondered, alarmed, whether i was fleeing the scene of a crime

i was wearing a white shirt that i had not SECONDS before spilled salsa ALL OVER in a big red stain right down the front like a KINDERGARTNER

i was carrying two armfuls of ENORMOUS bags of popcorn with a three musketeers bar literally in my mouth and he overheard me say through my stuffed candy cheeks to my doorman, “oh, no, i’m not having a party, this is literally all for me”

i dropped my backpack while opening my mail and said to it, defeatedly, “why? why did you do that when i explicitly told you not to? do you like being on the floor?” 

i fell into and then off of the elevator

why??? why does this happen??? what vengeful god has orchestrated it so the ONLY TIMES i ever run into The Most Beautiful Man In The World are when i could easily be mistaken for a child’s doll that has been put through the wash by accident, or a dollar bill that has been stained by years of being in people’s sweaty palms, or a mop with eyes???

whatever. everything costs money and everyone you love disappoints you. Mop Eyes out.

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cannot even begin to imagine the Blade Runner cyberpunk shit this ladybug i found on my RGB keyboard was going through

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Read as many times as needed

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OOHHH FUUBLBLBLBLB

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WE DID IT WE WON TUMBLR

#epic the musical, #epic the Ithaca saga, and #the odyssey are trending rn

#jorge rivera herrans was just trending like an hour ago too

epic fam we won tumblr

yes we all died after ithaca saga but WE STILL WON TUMBLR AND THAT’S WHAT MATTERS

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my mxtx server friends: playing video games, just chilling

me, just getting out of the shower, drying my hair: so this is another way modern sensibilities and purity culture have impacted on how jorge retells the story of "the odyssey", like for example, poseidon's motivations to take vengeance are subtly shifted from "avenging son" to "protecting his own reputation", and also--

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thing based on this post i made in some sort of state at like 4 am or something. i tried

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Your men are pretty and I want to kiss them all

The boy's getting bolder

(Thank you ✨️atp its my job to draw pretty men)

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Ugly crying

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okay but isn’t it crazy how Odysseus went through a corruption arc but also spurned everyone else around him into redemption arcs?? Circe ends up helping him and her reason for doing so is that maybe if she pays someone kindness she’ll get it back eventually, when she nearly killed Odysseus and turned all his men into pigs. Athena platonically broke up with him over showing the cyclops mercy but now she knows that she should show more kindness!! (A GODDESS realized she needs to be more empathetic, that’s CRAZY.) Odysseus went downhill but everyone else went uphill. I’m sure there’s more examples but why aren’t we going at least a little insane over it

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In celebration of epic the musicals' final Saga releasing, I'm gonna tell you lot about about Ulysseus, Odysseus's roman wannabe.

Ulysseus was created by the Romans quite litterly as a satire to Odysseus. Partially cause they found Odysseus' strategy of using the Trojan horse to invade Troy rather cowardly. Also, the Romans took quite some pride in being supposed descendants of the Trojans that managed to escape the siege, so you can imagine that they wouldn't like the guy who, in myth at least, brought the city's final downfal.

One example I can give is that while Odysseus didn't (willingly) cheat on Penelope, Ullysseus cheated on his wife with every woman he saw.

That is so far the only big example I could give as I'm still doing my research into the guy, but I can already tell you that the story of Ullysseus was a poorly written fantic of the Odyssey, written by a guy who didn't like the main character.

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*pushes up glasses* hello sir

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