im-tired-of-feeling - Tumblr blog

[im-tired-of-feeling]

Came back here just to see what I posted.

1. It’s been over 5 years since I was last posting here

2. I feel so stupid about thinking I was going to spend the rest of my life with my first girlfriend 🙄 Wow I was young and naive

3. I finally have a place that no one in my life knows about and I can really let my thoughts out without anyone knowing

[im-tired-of-feeling]

[im-tired-of-feeling]

There is no way

There is no way you would delete your Twitter account. You’re way too attached to it, but then again, I feel like I knew you but you seem to have hid a lot of things from me when we were together. 

[im-tired-of-feeling]

I don’t know why

I don’t know why finding things out about you and thinking about you still gives me so much anxiety. It scares me half to death because I thought I was making so much progress in processing our breakup but I guess not. I hate it..

I still wonder if you think about me at all or if you were even hurt by our breakup. I know you broke up with me, and you seemed emotionless during it all, which hurt, but were you even affected by it? You didn’t give me good enough reasons as to why you didn’t want to be with me anymore. I still think about you, more than I would like to admit. 

You might be coming to the drag show this weekend and I am terrified in running into you. I might see you in line, you might run into my family, my family might see you, and you will be in the audience. You will see me perform. A part of me is scared but another part of me is like, “I’m going to look hot and sexy on stage, so fuck you! You are missing out on this.” But still afraid that as soon as you see me you will roll your eyes, laugh at me, or leave the ballroom. What you think about me or what you do doesn’t matter, but I still worry about it… 

All my friends want me to hate you and hold a grudge against you, but I can’t for some reason. The thought of you dating another person gives me anxiety and makes my heart race uncontrollably. You’re not a bad person, you just hurt me and lied to me, which are valid reasons. But you loved me and I thought I was going to be spending the rest of my life with you. You told me that! And I believed you! That’s what I wanted too…

It happened almost 6 months ago but sometimes it feels like it happened yesterday. I just need to accept the fact that you probably don’t even care about me anymore and that I never meant anything to you. I loved (love..?) you and it is soooooo hard moving forward from all this. 

[im-tired-of-feeling]

she’s so hot what the fuckkkkk

[im-tired-of-feeling]

I secretly don't want to quit

I secretly don't want to quit smoking because I find it relaxing and stress relieving. I tell my friends I want to quit by the end of summer. I'm not quitting for myself which is the main problem. I'm quitting for other people and that's not a good/strong enough reason. I need to be the reason I'm quitting. It's hard..

[im-tired-of-feeling]

I thought we were going to spend the rest of our lives together

I even knew what song was going to be our first dance..

[im-tired-of-feeling]

[im-tired-of-feeling]

[im-tired-of-feeling]

Found out that my mom has suicide notes prepared because she has been very suicidal. Shit...

[im-tired-of-feeling]

Wait for someone who says, “Holy crap, how did I get so lucky?” when you walk in the door, absolutely exhausted from work at 6pm after being married for 30 years. Wait for that, it’s more than worth it.

(via hplyrikz)

[im-tired-of-feeling]

My supervisors at work have told me that I am "better" ever since my ex broke up with me..did she change me? Hold me back from being myself? Did she bring out the worst in me? I don't know if I want to even think about it. It hurts to think that those are possibly true because I love her but also hurts because I let it happen to me. If we get back together, I can't be afraid to be myself and I can't let her change me or control me. I don't know what's going to happen..I'm scared...

[im-tired-of-feeling]

What to do when your partner cheats on you

1. Don’t do anything right away. Wait until the shock and the emotions have subsided and you can think a lot more clearly - and decide what’s best for you.

2. Confide in close friends as you’ll need extra support. They can also help you figure out your thinking and emotions.

3. Confront the person – don’t pretend that you don’t know – and make sure they’re aware of how badly they have hurt you.

4. Don’t let them pretend that things are not as they may seem, or else to try to play down exactly how they have behaved, or to make up some excuses, or pretend they’re not to blame.

5. Consider taking a break from your relationship. It may help you to sort out exactly what you want to do, and whether you’re prepared to take your partner back again.

6. If you decide that you are willing to forgive, and then move on, then start to think of ways to start to build the trust again. This will be a slow, hard – and is something you can’t rush.

7. If you decide that you don’t want to take your partner back again, then end the relationship, and choose to now move on. There are others who will love you and who’ll prove they’re worth your trust.

[im-tired-of-feeling]

Tired of stressing bout u

[im-tired-of-feeling]

I didn’t lose you. You lost me. You’ll search for me inside of everyone you’re with and I won’t be found.

(via depressed-baby-unicorn)

[im-tired-of-feeling]

Why am I thinking about you so much? It’s scaring me..

[im-tired-of-feeling]

I’m tired of trying to help my mom if she is only going to send me nasty passive aggressive emails telling me how awful and horrible I am as a daughter. You don’t talk down to your kids the way you did to me…twice. What you said was hurtful, and I don’t want to be around someone that treats me so poorly. I’m done with you and your negative attitude. Come talk to me when you’re ready to apologize…which will never happen