im-a-sinner-morty

[im-a-sinner-morty]

[im-a-sinner-morty]

Keep this in mind the next time you are about to repeat a rumor or spread gossip.

In ancient Greece (469 – 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom. One day an acquaintance ran up to him excitedly and said, “Socrates, do you know what I just heard about Diogenes?”

“Wait a moment,” Socrates replied, “Before you tell me I’d like you to pass a little test. It’s called the Triple Filter Test.”

“Triple filter?” asked the acquaintance.

“That’s right,” Socrates continued, “Before you talk to me about Diogenes let’s take a moment to filter what you’re going to say. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?”

“No,” the man said, “Actually, I just heard about it.”

“All right,” said Socrates, “So you don’t really know if it’s true or not. Now let’s try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about Diogenes something good?”

“No, on the contrary…”

“So,” Socrates continued, “You want to tell me something about Diogenes that may be bad, even though you’re not certain it’s true?”

The man shrugged, a little embarrassed. Socrates continued, “You may still pass the test though, because there is a third filter, the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about Diogenes going to be useful to me?”

“No, not really.”

“Well,” concluded Socrates, “If what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even Useful, why tell it to me or anyone at all?”

The man was bewildered and ashamed. This is an example of why Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem.

It also explains why Socrates never found out that Diogenes was banging his wife.

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[im-a-sinner-morty]

Attention to Detail (egobang) Chapter 4

AU: Art school student!Arin and classroom model!Dan

Chapter Title: Light Beneath the Shadows

Chapter Length: 6,015 words

Ship: Egobang, “platonic” Rubberraptor

Chapter Rating: T-M (swearing, nightmares, FAKE graphic descriptions of violence - no one is hurt irl)

Author: buttelf (aka: come-in-me-scrublord/Prototype)

Chapter Summary: Ross has a bad dream.

Tags, reblogs, comments, and everything else would be greatly appreciated!

ALL CHAPTERS: [one] [two] [three] [four]

You can read it on the AO3 here

Keep reading

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its not an obsession until you read fanfic on your mobile in the dark

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Because combine aged-up Morty AND GREASER MORTY AND RIP.

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I have officially become trash, please throw me away–

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“We’ll blow each other for a million dollars,”

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*when you follow and talk to ppl for months and don't know their damn name*

Put your name in the tags.

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mcnugget au is so so so good!! im excited for more its so sweet

Thanks anon! I’m glad you’re enjoying it. Here’s how their first date ends!

(if you missed the first or second part, you can read them here: ONE - TWO )

The boys take turnspressing buttons on Rick’s little jerry-rigged controller, watching explosionsof light and smoke boom around them in the empty field. When they had finallyexhausted their supply of rockets, they lay side by side in the deepening darkness,staring up at the stars as Rick pointed out constellations to Morty and calledthem out by name. When they hour passed midnight, they begrudgingly packed upthe spent rockets and Rick’s blankets into clumsy bundles and trekked back tothe bike, using their phones as flashlights while they navigated the woods.

On the ride home,clutching Rick around the waist, and staring through the helmet visor at therapidly passing road, Morty found himself wondering what work would be liketomorrow…hell, what work would be like for the rest of the week! Burger Barncompany policy was pretty strict with it’s rules about employees dating eachother, but surely no one knew anything…right?

They reached Morty’srun-down apartment that he shared with two other roommates much faster than theboy would’ve liked, but in a small way he was relieved. Rick was intimidatingeven when he wasn’t trying to be, and although Morty liked him, the guilt overhis sexuality hounded him for most of the night. As much as he wanted to be closer to Rick, somehow thevery idea of doing anything more than holding his hand was weird, andfrightening and didn’t feel right at all. But wasn’t it unfair of him to tie upsuch a hot guy in a relationship with someone who didn’t even think about sexmuch, never mind desire it? Morty blushed as he realized he was already thinkingabout a relationship with Rick when all they had done was grab lunch andexplode shit in an empty field under cover of darkness.

As the motorcycleground to a halt, Morty climbed off a bit quickly and after taking orff thehelmet, handed it to Rick.

“Thanks for lettingme wear this.”

“Yeah,” Rick placedthe helmet on his bike seat and winked, “I’ll b-be a gentleman and walk you toyour door.”

“Oh, you don’t—”

But Rick, taking advantageof the fact that he could hold Morty’s hand, grabbed it tightly and beganstrolling toward the crooked door. Morty walked along, dreading the goodbye,his nerves jumping and his pulse throbbing in his throat as they walked up thestairs and stood at the threshold.

Morty looked upinto Rick’s face, but losing his moxie, he turned his gaze back down toward hisshoes, “I had a…a really, really goodtime tonight, Rick.”

“Me too, Sport!”Rick cleared his throat and waited until Morty looked back up at him to grin, “Y-y-yougonna let me take you out again?”

Morty couldn’t hidehis smile—he definitely liked Rick. “Yeah, I-I-I—y-yeah.”

“Good.” Ricksuddenly lunged forward, and braced both hands on the door behind Morty, trappinghim between his arms. But before Morty could freak out, Rick leaned in, closedhis eyes, and smooched the air three inches away from Morty’s face. Pullingback, Rick chuckled at Morty’s red face and frazzled expression as he turnedand headed back toward his bike. “See ya in the morning, Sporty!” And withthat, he climbed on his bike, shuffled his helmet onto his head, and sped offinto the darkness.

Morty slumpedagainst the door, his face on fire, and his hands trembling as he slid downinto a sitting position and gently touched his lips with his fingertips. Forthe first time in his entire life he actually wanted to kiss someone. 

~the end! What do you guys want to read next about McNugget AU?

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Just another day for Stan and his Rick

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i feel like i'm channeling someone here but can't figure it out

I got a haircut and I’m really feeling it, sorry

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Dumb brunette boy tries to seduce his gross grandpa

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I’m honestly just so ready to fight rn. People keep condescending me. Like my professor ALWAYS talks over me and doenst let me speak or learn and it’s really fucking annoying so i made a status about it and then some bitch from my class commented “it’s not rude she was trying to help u it’s her job” but like the professor literally will talk right over me if I’m not fast enough and if I try to speak she’ll speak over me and if i try to repeat after her she’ll also speak over me or move onto the next person. like that’s rude as hell she treats me like a child so no it’s not helpful i s2g. 

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Every time I open my phone I see this incredible art by @thisismouseface and I smile so big like. [from here]

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I’ve been asked about Rick catching them alone together after the events of the last comic

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“I thought you said you didn’t have a tattoo”

“I don’t”

Tattoo by my amazing husband and real life Rick