ilovethegold

[ilovethegold]

Tim: People who sleep with their phone on silent or DND really don’t give a fuck about anybody.

Jason: Look, if you decide to have a problem after midnight that’s between you and your Lord.

Duke: How do you set your phone to Dungeons and Dragons?

[ilovethegold]

People are SLEEPING on the most interesting Leia & Padme comparisons because there's so much focus on Leia being "like Anakin" because she gets annoyed sometimes and Padme being this perfect moral beacon of truth and justice despite all of her very canonical lies and cover-ups and obstructing of justice.

If Luke is the Jedi that Anakin should've been, then Leia is the LEADER that Padme should've been.

Padme is a hypocrite, proclaiming that all people deserve basic decency and the right to safety, but at the same time allowing Anakin to get away with a mass murder with no consequences by covering it up.

Leia doesn't even let Han get away with being a little bit of an asshole, there's no way she'd let him get away with mass murder. She holds everyone around her to a higher standard, believing in the best of them but also but refusing to accept excuses for cowardice and selfishness.

Padme talks so much about wanting the war to end, but then allows one of the opposition's biggest generals go free just to get Anakin back because she cares about him, causing the war to continue to go on for even longer.

Leia lets Luke sacrifice himself because she knows it's possibly the only way they might have a victory and beat the Empire, even though she knows what he is to her and loves him. She knows what has to be done and respects the choice Luke is making and would never condemn their efforts just to keep him with her.

Padme's story parallels Anakin's, she devolves as the narrative goes on, until she's barely a shell of the person she used to be. That strength and moral clarity she showed as a Queen is entirely gone, leaving only a scared woman pleading with a murderer to come back to her.

Leia's story parallels Luke's, she gains more and more strength and clarity as the narrative moves forward. The bossy young woman we first met has become a confident rebel leader who knows she doesn't have to harden her heart to be strong.

[ilovethegold]

Could I request mermaid dick and princess Kory

YES, yes you can!

And they all lived happily ever after...♡

until Bruce tried to ruin everything

...he just misses his son 🥲

[ilovethegold]

Haymitch and Peeta happily in love with girls who can sing:

Snow:

[ilovethegold]

me with gojo satoru and satoru gojo

[ilovethegold]

Bruce, Cass: killing is bad, I will go out of my way to stop it, no matter what

Dick, Tim, Damian, Duke & Steph: I don't like killing and will go out of my way to avoid it in any circumstances, but will do it if there's no other way

Alfred and Jason: if you feel anything but recoil there might be something wrong with the gun

[ilovethegold]

how do you compete with an angel? become one yourself

[ilovethegold]

Jason is in civilian clothing absolutely plastered at a Crime Alley bar when Joker breaks out of Arkham, and while still drunk he abruptly decides he’s sick of all this dramatic bullshit and just. kills the Joker. tracks him down, kills him without any fanfare, and ditches. it was executed flawlessly, incredible really considering his intoxication levels at the time. he only slipped up a teeny-tiny amount.

because he got seen leaving the murder scene. in civilian clothing. and then got caught once more via a security camera as he was disappearing back into Crime Alley. and the bats fucking saw that footage.

Bruce Wayne, an emotional wreck, just found out that Jason is alive, apparently just murdered the Joker, and is now living alone in Crime Alley (and who knows in what conditions?! he’s legally dead, there’s no legal way for him to make money, his poor son might be homeless.) and for some reason he isn’t coming home. Bruce is in despair, getting worse the longer they can’t track Jason down. finally, at his wits end, he decides to ask the help of the one other vigilante figure that seems to know Crime Alley better than the bats, and that might have some less-savoury contacts that could be of better help tracking down a legally dead boy.

the Red Hood, struggling not to laugh hysterically in Batman’s face, has never been more excited to accept a job in his LIFE. he has no plans on how he’s going to fuck with Bruce just yet, but by god is he going to do something.

[ilovethegold]

[ilovethegold]

Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Look buddy, i’m just trying to make it to Friday.

[ilovethegold]

Sorry to break it to you but you literally have to face your fears and slaughter them. Otherwise you will live a small life that you do not want. You literally have to view your biggest fears and attack them head on. You have to fall into the abyss to find your way out. The easy path does not exist. There is no get out of jail free card. You have to allow yourself to die a spiritual death over and over again in order to reinvent yourself into the person you are actually supposed to be. And you have to be painfully honest with yourself and the people around you. It’s horrible but it’s truly the only way.

[ilovethegold]

"... but it would've been something."

Adventure Comics (2009) #3

[ilovethegold]

Tim: Kon texted me "your adorable" so I texted him back and said, "No, YOU'RE adorable."

Cassie: And?

Tim: And now we're dating. We've been on six dates. All I did was point out a typo.

[ilovethegold]

god i’m not even through one episode of paranormal home inspectors and it rules, this lady thought she was being haunted by the wails of the restless dead but she was just listening to raccoons fuck in her attic

[ilovethegold]

Tim, undercover: I'm Alvin.

Dick, also undercover, popping up behind him: I'm Simon!

Jason, also also undercover, ominously leaning down from over their shoulders, looming and using his deepest voice: I'm Theodore.

[ilovethegold]

[ilovethegold]

Jason after getting discovered

Jason: Meh, it was worth it, totally would do it again if he starts with his shit

Bruce dazed gazing up the staricase

Bruce: Jay? You’re alive?

Jason, being a semi-canonic common hallucination in the family after his death, could lead to the stupidest AU ever.

Imagine everyone seeing him — Bruce, half of the time, Dick non-stop, Tim more often than not, and eventually even Alfred starts seeing little boy's silhouette in the corner of his eye, but he never admits it, because someone needs to stay sane in this family.

It is a lot like real-life cases when cult families start to see collective hallucination, and it somehow syncronises in their minds, so they hear and see the same things, you know?

So, yeah, everyone sees Jaybin around.

Everyone but Damian. Damian is a normal one. He also knows his Akhi is alive and well, so whatever. And it takes him some time to figure out that his family is bat-shit insane, but when he does, he decides to use it on his advantage.

Damian, calling Jason: Akhi, you should visit me. It is getting awfully boring here.

Jason, frowning: You know I can't. They think I am dead, and I can't risk my plan, especially now, when Red Hood is gaining-

Damian: We will pretend you are a hallucination.

Jason: ...What?

Damian: So, there is a plan...

So, a few days after this call, Jason arrives at the Wayne Manor. He still thinks his brother's plan sucks, but gaslighting is one of his many talents, so surely, they will figure something out. He can lie his way through this meeting.

Expect, he doesn't even need to lie. His family is actually insane.

Bruce, bumping in Jason:

Jason, staring back: Uh-

Bruce: Wow. You look so grown-up. And we look so alike. Nice one, brain.

Jason: ?..

Tim, leaving his room: Hi, B, hi- Oh, damn. Hi, Jaybin. Nice leather jacket.

Bruce: Right? I guess his ghost just grows up with us now.

Jason: ????

Alfred, nodding along, out of nowhere: Master Dick will hate it. He looks taller now.

All of them: (peacefully leave the room)

Jason: What. The. Fuck.

Jason waits for the moment of clarity to happen as he chats with Damian in the kitchen, but... nothing changes. They really, really think he is a hallucination. So... he starts hanging out around more. Both because Damian is getting angsty, and because it is kinda... amusing.

Tim, stuck on the same case for a few nights, non-stop: Oh, it is really just me and you in this, Jason.

Jason, playing Mario Cart on the table by his side: Maybe take a nap, dude.

Tim: No, I need to figure out this case with-

Jason, rolling his eyes: Red Hood had already dealt with it. Go to sleep.

Tim: ...You are such a good self-care kind of hallucination.

Jason: ...

Damian: Your bets, when will they realise that you are a real person?

Jason: At this point, I am not sure that they will, even if I start screaming that I am real.

Damian: Fair. I bet a year would do.

Jason: ...A year and a half.

Dick visits the Manor. He cooes at Jason, muttering something about "of course, he would have grown up in a punk," and Jason almost breaks his role to hit him on the head.

Jason, arms folded on his chest: You know, you need serious help, dad.

Bruce, blinking at him slowly: Probably. You know what else I need?

Jason: Sleep? Retirement? To stop adopting strays? The list is endless, man.

Bruce: ...Coffee. I need more coffee.

Jason, groaning: What the fuck!!!

Alfred figures out that Jason is real, eventually. Solely because he catches him sneaking a few extra cookies, and hallucinations are not supposed to eat. He plays along with him and Damian until the very end, anyway.

(Damian ends up winning the bet because Jason loses it once and pushes Bruce down the stairs, when he starts reciting some precautionary tale about him. Everyone is flabbergasted.)