ilickedyoursaltlamp

[ilickedyoursaltlamp]

my friends and i are talking about what one can do with a squirt gun of crystal growing solution

[ilickedyoursaltlamp]

Gay on Main before I perish

[ilickedyoursaltlamp]

i hated the food i made so much i forgot that i made it and that it was in front of me and started ordering pickup

[ilickedyoursaltlamp]

i hated the food i made so much i forgot that i made it and that it was in front of me and started ordering pickup

[ilickedyoursaltlamp]

Suddenly I am thinking about that article written by Brennan Lee Mulligan about being witness to extremely hyper-wealthy people believing they were going to live forever.

Not if the rest of us have anything to say about it, said the guy with words on his bullets to the heart of a health insurance CEO.

[ilickedyoursaltlamp]

[ilickedyoursaltlamp]

i really thought the “homestuck fans don’t read the comic” was a tongue-in-cheek joke about media literacy, but no. these people. literally haven’t read the fucking comic that they’re a ‘fan” of ???

[ilickedyoursaltlamp]

[ilickedyoursaltlamp]

Attempting to get my students to fucking come to class

[ilickedyoursaltlamp]

far from prudish but just got blazed porn of someone's pussy spread out so hard and up close like it's a map of the polish-lithuanian commonwealth and I'm king and grand duke sigismund II augustus inspecting his lands to plot defense against the swedes

[ilickedyoursaltlamp]

[ilickedyoursaltlamp]

They did it again

[ilickedyoursaltlamp]

when dogs are scary smart

over the last several months, we have been implementing a protocol to eliminate karybelle the sheltie’s barking surrounding her mealtimes. we have accomplished this by initially introducing an alternate activity during prep time (stuffed kong) and religiously giving her a time out gated in the yard if she stops that activity to bark, thus delaying her dinner until she’s quiet. this has been extremely successful; she’s gone from barking literally 100+ times during meal prep to barking 0 times, and only occasionally slips up. the behavior she has chosen to replace her meal-prep-screaming (after all, that energy has to go somewhere) is frantically - but silently - running circles around the coffee table to finally slam into a perfect down-stay as her bowl is set down.

this evening as the food was coming out, karybelle seamlessly slipped into her silent circling routine. except after a couple of reps, she abruptly changed course, yeeted herself out the dog door, barked once, and immediately jumped back in to resume her circling.

if that isn’t a demonstration of crystal clear understanding of criteria, i…don’t know what is lmao

[ilickedyoursaltlamp]

*gets dressed up to spend time in the woods alone*

[ilickedyoursaltlamp]

Honestly I miss the energy Tumblr had when the first Pacfic Rim movie came out. Everybody was talking about who they were drift compatible with and that was like a huge compliment. Ppl were drawing Kaijus, and Jaegers, naming ‘em. It was a better time

[ilickedyoursaltlamp]

Stoned af and made the best tweet of my life.

[ilickedyoursaltlamp]