iladysham - Tumblr blog

[iladysham]

I can relate to this

[iladysham]

[iladysham]

Sa imo ko lang na experience tanan nansakit. Physical, mental, emotional. From guramos to tapungol

You told me failure ako kag mango kay la kgraduate on tim. Gdulot tanan. Sa imo ko gkuha strength pero ikaw gput down skon. Bal an mo na ang sakit nga gdulot tanan mo npanghmbal. Kis a ikaw rason ngaa gusto ko nlng mapatay.

[iladysham]

Sometimes all I need is an apology.

I can feel the heaviness inside.

It's not a complain at all, I just need you to understand.

Understand who I really am.

I have trouble telling you stuffs because I don't want to start an argument

I don't want to talk because I'm afraid you'll get mad.

Here I am, confined by these thoughts.

Wishing that you would feel what I'm going through

And tell me everything's going to be alright.

I am happy whenever I'm with you but I hate it when we argue.

Understand me for once. 😔

[iladysham]

It goes this way...

I cry and you get mad

I get mad because you don't undrerstand.

I try to understand because I don't want to argue.

I keep my mouth shut because I need to.

You're mad at me for not telling what's wrong.

I tell you what's wrong and you still get mad.

Sometimes I just want you to listen and understand.

[iladysham]

Choosing to be witha toxic person is a suicide. I really thought everything would workout but you happened to kill me day by day. I was trying to help you, that was my mistake. I thought of all these butterflies and rainbows with you but now it is an everyday struggle to put the sunshine in a heavy rain. Though you cannot see it, I hope you can feel it. This life with you is a struggle, but they told me there's no easy way so I accepted my fate. It will become easier if you happened to be calm. Putting all the blame on me won't make this any good. I have risk everything yet nothing works. How can you deal with your problems if you cannot deal with yourself? How am I be able to help you if you keep on pushing me away and if you cannot help yourself? I'm starting to lose hope.

[iladysham]

[iladysham]

Have you ever been taken for granted? In a moment you thought a person would understand your limitations, but yet no one can and no one will.

[iladysham]

Biskan ano ko kabulig, wala gid gyapon epekto.

[iladysham]

Please. Somebody who understands my pains and limitations.

Why do you always have to do this? Try to understand that I'm still a human.

[iladysham]

Dako na sakripisyo. Tani man lang inchindihon niyo ko. Tani man lang ilugar niyo man ang mga napanghimo niyo sakon. Puno-puno ngd ko. Wala na ko kabalo direksyon ko. Kamo ginasaligan ko maglift up skon. Ngaa ginamuni niyo ko?

[iladysham]

Am I who I am?

Am I the person I am today?

Sometimes I cannot see the real me

I cannot feel that I am me.

Maybe because I haven't caught myself stuck on music lately.

Maybe I've been forgetting something that completes me.

I have not played instruments for quite some time

I have not caught myself lost in the melodies of the song.

My music was lost and I couldn't find it

I tried to fight the feeling but it's too strong.

Who am I now without doing what I love?

Who am I now when some of the pieces are gone?

Am I who I am today?

[iladysham]

All I ask

All I ask from you is to make me feel that my worth.

I ask for that warm hug whenever I've been hurt.

All I ask from you is to take care of me when I'm sick.

That's what makes me feel better.

All ask from you is the patience I need

To understand my thoughts and feelings in any way possible.

Maybe for you I ask for too much

But that's all I need to take these pain away.

I don't need you to shout at me

I need you to talk to me.

Am I too much for this?

Sadness and pain fills me up

Because I canot even tell you what I need

You might think I'm too needy.

You might think I ask for too much.

Sometimes I get weary but can you see it?

I wish you knew but I don't want us to argue

I wish you could feel my pain.

All I ask is for you to see beyond my actions

And to feel this heart of mine.

All I ask is for you to take care of my weary heart.

Nothing more, just that.

[iladysham]

Why love?

Why did we end up hurting each other when all we did was to make happy memories.

Why do we often blame each other for being so impatient when we have to work together to make these flaws acceptable.

There are a lot of why's stuck in my head.

Why did these love turned into pain?

[iladysham]

"You hear me but you did not listened. You agreed but did not understand. You helped by ruining everything."

[iladysham]

These thoughts are slowly drowning me and I don't want somebody to save me.

Everybody's a traitor, I trust no one.

I'll just be glad if I drift away because when I'm gone, nothing will stay the same.

[iladysham]

I didn't chose who I would love

But I really chose the one I could trust.

It was a wrong choice after all,

Now the lesson's learned.

Everything you told me was a lie

And now everytime I think of it, it's too painful

I thought you were on my side

But it was all in my thoughts.

We trusted you enough to keep us away from harm

But all along you were the harm we should get away from.