ikktygcto

[ikktygcto]

So will u post the hyunjin fic on this account or the other?

goddd so sorry for completely forgetting about this req! all fics will be on my wrttenbyhan acc, only now it's called @yaniblvsh (my middle name is vanessa) ill make the fic on the wknd!!

[ikktygcto]

working on it soon!! just came back from holiday; bare with, check my main acc @yaniblvsh as ill post on there more!

Hey! I have a soft Hyunjin fic idea ....

The reader is hanging out at Hyunjin’s place on a rainy day, and while they’re distracted, he starts sketching them. Later, they find his sketchbook filled with drawings of themselves—little moments he’s captured over time. It’s a quiet, cozy realization that he’s been in love with them all along. Soft, best-friends-to-lovers vibes with rain as the perfect backdrop. (I love ur work so much. 'accidental' was beautiful ( and my fav hehhe)❣️)

omg my first ask and request! first of all, thank you for reading my work! im glad that one of my pieces is your favourite :))). ok, back to your request, i really love it. sooo much. i will gladly do it - it will be published in a few days! i love you nonnie 💋

[ikktygcto]

민호 — IMAGINARY NO MORE

ⓘ ..where your friend, who everyone else thinks is imaginary, suddenly proves himself to be real in a dangerous situation.

𝑔enre : 𝒻 luff, a drop of 𝒶ngst and 𝒸omfort (the big three !)

𝒻riend.ᐟlee minho × 𝒻em.ᐟreader

💌 — YANI’S LOVE LETTER

oh. my. gosh. i cannot believe i am back on this account! it’s been a minute since i’ve wrote ; how is everyone?! i am so sorry for just reblogging posts over and over again, then moving to another account.. but, now i have this one all freshened up, so i can continue to write on here. thank you so much for your support! also, for the pictures, no this fic has nothing to do with flowers, what was i meant to put? i’m sorry if this floppity flopped, another fic will be coming soon!! anyway, i hope you enjoy this one, my debut.. again!

you had a friend. an amazing friend called lee minho. he first appeared when you were playing alone at the park, and ever since that day, you two have been the best of friends.

whenever you would try to introduce minho to someone, anyone, he would disappear. into thin air. everyone thought that minho was just imaginary, but you knew he was real. he had three cats at home, loved to dance and sing and even made you dinner every week. an imaginary friend can’t do that.

so, when your mother forced you to go to a psychiatrist, you were encouraged to tell the woman all about minho. you swore on that day he came with you, but when you turned to the right where he was sat down before, all you saw was an empty spot on the couch. it looked like as if nobody had sat there in the first place.

“i.. i swear he was just here! you have to believe me!”

your mother, you remembered how disappointed she looked. she looked at the psychiatrist with a frown, and then at you with an even deeper frown. when you guys came home, your mother said something that would change your whole life.

“you’re going to a mental hospital. you leave next week.”

you couldn’t believe it. you looked all around the house for minho, to tell him how horrible he was and where he got you, and frankly, he wasn’t anywhere, not even in the mini fort you made for him.

maybe you were hallucinating.

but you always forgave minho in the end. so, when you saw him sitting on your bed at the hospital, you couldn’t hold back your smile. he had even brought a few snacks and board games, your favourites.

once again, thinking that here would be different, you told everyone how amazing minho is. so, they asked to see him. you nodded happily and ran off to your room. there, minho was, humming a song, holding onto your teddy.

“minho~”

you smiled, clearly excited to show off your friend,

“i have some people that want to meet you. don’t disappear this time, okay?”

minho.. he looked worried for a minute. he quickly masked it though with his regular expression, and nodded.

“ah.. okay.”

excited, you dragged him along to the courtyard. but, right when you were about to reach everyone, you couldn’t feel his hand anymore. maybe he just had to fix himself, you thought to yourself. you walked towards the big group of other mental people, all chanting,

“minho! minho! minho!���

you giggled, overjoyed on how excited they were to meet your friend. you told them that he would be here in a minute, and they all continued to chant.

seconds turned to minutes, and after half an hour, it was clear that this “friend” of yours was not coming. the huge crowd erupted. some had left, but a group of boys had stayed behind. one strutted on toward you, while the other four followed closely behind, like a ringmaster and all his little puppets.

“you think you’re funny, huh?”

the so-called ringmaster proclaimed. he pushed you slightly, but enough to make you stumble and fall to the ground. the boy scoffed,

“where’s minho? hm?”

you stayed quiet, embarrassed, and very angry at minho. he said that he would come. where was he when you needed him most?

after a bit more of verbal, the group got bored and started to beat you up. punch after punch and a few kicks if they felt like it. the whole way through, they would call out,

“where is he? nobody’s come to save you!”

your head started to pound, and it felt dizzy. your throat was tight, and your eyes were starting to well up with tears. just when you were about to let go, everyone paused. the silence was eerie.

you sat up, leaning up against the fence behind you. you rubbed your eyes and looked up ; minho was there. you gasped as he stood guard in front of you, like a rock, like a knight in shining armor, your knight in shining armor.

“here i am.”

he muttered. that was when the boys realised that you were right. you were actually telling the truth. they screamed, and ran off back into their rooms.

minho walked over to you. his eyes stared at your condition. you were on the floor, panting and bruised. he dusted you off and sat next to you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders.

“minho?”

you mumbled, your hands still shaking from shock and your head still feeling a bit strange.

“hm?”

he replied, his hand moving to your chin. minho pulled your face up to look at him. he looked at your face, examining your injuries. he tutted. those silly boys definitely did a number on you.

“why weren’t you there before? when i needed you most?”

you asked, looking up at him with drier but not dry eyes. minho’s expression changed as he frowned, just like how your mother frowned at you all those weeks ago. he gently pushed your head onto his shoulder. his hand paused for a moment. the silence was so loud that you could almost hear everyone around staring at the two of you. eventually, minho broke the quiet, his words were simple but they made your heart ache.

“i was busy.”

you pouted, feeling more tears in your eyes, daring to spill out. minho saw this and shook his head, silently telling you not to cry.

“it was always when i wanted to show you to someone that you went away.”

you replied, your hand finding itself trapped in minho’s. your hand trembled ever so slightly, and minho tried to calm you down by rubbing his thumb on the back of your hand, it was terribly soothing.

minho stayed silent for a moment, his arms around you growing tighter. he pulled you even closer until your face was buried in the crook of his neck. he took one more deep breath before answering you.

“i didn’t want them to see me,”

minho’s hands came up to cup your face, pulling you away from his shoulder. he held your face, his thumb gently grazing over a bruise on your cheek. his eyes were serious as he leaned closer. his voice was quiet, words coming out slowly,

“…i don’t trust other people.”

you sighed, looking around yourself. he got you here. he made everyone think that you were crazy and deserved to be in the mental hospital.

“you’re the reason i’m in here, you know that, right?”

minho’s features seemed to soften as you said those words. his fingers brushed over your cheek delicately. his eyes traced your face, noticing every single mark and bruise on you. he was quiet for a moment. finally, he spoke once again, his word coming out in a quiet tone,

“i know.”

another moment of silence passed between the two of you as his eyes stayed locked on your face. his fingers still gently tracing over your cheek, until his hand slid down to your chin. minho moved your head, so your gaze would meet his.

he studied your face once again. eyes flickering from bruised cheek, to your lips, then back up to your eyes. minho’s was expression hard to read. then, he spoke up once again, his voice so quiet, you would’ve barely heard it if you weren’t so close.

“i should’ve been there.”

minho’s arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer than ever before. his heart was beating fast, it almost felt like it would jump out of his chest. his other hand was still on your chin, his eyes locked with yours,

“i’m sorry.”

you didn’t need to think. even though your friend got you here, and made everyone think you were crazy, you still wanted to forgive him. he was too important to you. you stuttered,

“i.. i forgive you.”

minho’s shoulders relaxed after you forgave him. a small sigh escaped his lips as relief washed over him. he leaned closer to you, his forehead now touching yours. minho closed his eyes, and gently nuzzled your cheek with his. minho whispered, his voice so quiet and soothing,

“…thank you.”

“i really care about you, minho,”

you declared, burying your head into his broad shoulder once again. his scent was of vanilla and fresh strawberries, like home. he smelled of home.

minho’s eyes snapped open at your words. his heart lurched in his chest hearing you say that. he couldn’t help but smile slightly.

he moved his head away from yours, so he could look at you once more. minho’s expression looked fond as he stared at you. he raised a hand to your cheek, softly stroking your cheekbone and whispered,

“i care about you too.”

minho’s eyes were filled with a mixture of emotions. his hand came up to brush your hair out of your face. his hand paused for a moment as he gently ran his fingers through your hair. he pulled you even closer until your head rested on his shoulder.

he took a deep breath before mumbling,

“i care about you more than i care about anyone.”

“minho..”

you muttered. minho heard the tone in your voice and knew what you were about to say. his arm tightened around you, pulling you closer than before. he gently placed his chin on your head, while his hand ran up and down your back.

he didn’t say anything, only waited.

“i.. i love you.”

minho’s grip on you tightened. his arms were wrapped around you, holding you so close, it was almost like he was scared to let go. he nestled his face deeper into your hair, taking in your scent as he tried to calm himself down.

eventually, he spoke again, his words were quiet but still loud enough for you to hear,

“…i love you more.”

[ikktygcto]

— 필릭스 “YOUR SCARS ARE BEAUTIFUL..”

𝒽usband.ᐟfelix × 𝒻 em.ᐟreader

hi! not much to say - i love you guys i guess? oh yeah i have loads of stuff in my drafts so i may be posting more often (or not)! feel free to dm me or send me an ask ; don’t be shy, i’m the bubbliest person ever.

𝒽appy reading !

you’ve been insecure about your body because of your scars, reminders of pain you've experienced, and you never wanted to show felix your body because of this, but he never knew the reason.

it was late on a saturday night, and you were with felix, lying down on the bed, watching netflix. you were cuddling, with your leg over his, and he was in his iconic gray sweatpants and white shirt.

he was looking at you with admiration and gently grabbed your hand and pulled up your sleeve. you flinched, but he started tracing your scars and smiled.

“your skin, even with your scars, is like the sky with stars,”

he whispered, taking your chin in his fingers. he gave you the most beautiful smile and kissed your forehead.

“really?”

you murmured, your breath quickening as felix continued to trace the scars that led you to years of trauma.

looking at you with love in his eyes, nodded slowly.

”yes, really. to me, they’re like a constellation.”

he traced your scars with his finger, his touch sending chills down your spine. he looked at you with a mix of sadness and adoration.

he kept tracing your scars, his touch delicate and reverent.

“they’re not imperfections. they’re evidence of your strength. they’re a testament to the hard battles you’ve fought.”

he looked up at your face, giving you a soft smile,

“they’re a part of you, and i love every part of you. even the scars.”

he continued tracing your scars, his touch gentle and admiring.

“i know you don’t like them, and you try to hide them from me. but please believe me, i see the beauty in them. i see the resilience and the courage that you have.”

he lifted your hand to his lips and kissed your wrist, his eyes never leaving yours.

“you’re not broken. you’re strong. and that’s more beautiful than any perfect skin could be.”

felix’s words were like a soothing balm to your wounded soul. you looked into his eyes, and all you saw was love and acceptance. it was overwhelming, but in a good way.

“i never thought anyone could love me,”

you said softly, your breath slowly calming down the slightest bit,

“scars and all.”

he pulled you closer, wrapping his arms around you.

“you are worthy of love, even with all of your flaws and imperfections. and i don’t just love you despite them. i love you because of them.”

you buried your face in his chest, feeling the warmth of his body against yours. you whispered,

“i’m so afraid. afraid to show you all of me. afraid that you will think that i’m hideous.”

he held you tighter, and you could feel the rise and fall of his breathing. it was soothing. but it couldn’t help your anxiety of being bare and vulnerable again.

“i could never find you hideous. you are beautiful, inside and out. and i want to see all of you, if you will let me.”

felix replied, his deep, rumbly voice with an accent filling your ears. it tingled, and then it calmed you. but you could feel tears prickling at the corner of your eyes already.

“i’m scared.”

he lifted your chin gently, making you look at him. the sincerity in his eyes was overwhelming.

“hey. look at me. i love you. scars and all. and i’ll do anything to make you feel safe with me.”

he wiped away a tear that had escaped down your cheek. he then kissed your forehead, his lips lingering for a moment.

“i promise you, i won’t judge. i won’t think you’re hideous. all i want is to see you in your complete self.”

he pulled away slightly to look at you, his eyes searching your face.

“can you trust me? let me see you, truly?”

you took a deep, shaky breath. you knew that he was sincere, that he really did love you. but the fear was still there, clawing at your heart.

“i want to,”

you whispered, a sob daring to rip out,

“but it’s so hard.”

“i know it’s scary. but i’m here for you. i’ll be right here. i promise.”

he nodded, gently brushing a strand of hair off your forehead. his words and his touch were so gentle, they nearly broke you.

“okay,”

you said softly. you took a large exhale, then an exhale, just as felix had taught you to. you fidgeted with your hands for a minute, and replied,

“i’ll try.”

felix smiled, his eyes crinkling. he pulled you in for another tight hug, and you found yourself holding onto him like a lifeline.

“take your time. and remember, i love you no matter what.”

you took a deep breath and slowly sat up, breaking the hug. you could feel your heart pounding in your chest, and your hands were trembling.

“okay, i’m ready.”

you confessed, more to yourself than to felix.

he sat up and moved to sit in front of you. he took your hand in his and gave you an encouraging smile.

“i’m here, baby. i’m right here.”

your hands were still shaking as you reached for the hem of your shirt.

“just remember,”

you started off, still trembling tremendously,

“i look terrible when i-”

he cut you off by fiercely shaking his head.

“don't finish that sentence. you’re going to look amazing. no matter what.”

you took another deep breath and nodded. you slowly pulled your shirt over your head and dropped it on the bed.

you sat there for a moment, feeling vulnerable and exposed. you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him. you haven’t felt this vulnerable in ages. it didn’t feel good. you had to push through it.

his voice was soothing as he spoke, his hand rubbing your thigh.

“baby, look at me.”

you slowly raised your gaze to meet his. felix gave you a warm smile, his eyes full of love and adoration.

“you’re gorgeous.”

you could feel your face heating up, and you couldn’t help but feel a tiny bit bashful.

“really?”

you asked him, a small smile creeping up the corner of your lips.

“absolutely. you’re stunning,”

he nodded, his eyes flickering down to your exposed skin. he looked back up at your face, his gaze never leaving yours. slowly, he reached out and ghosted his fingers over your arm. he traced the scars gently, his touch so light it almost tickled.

“see? aren’t these scars beautiful?”

“they’re not perfect,”

you muttered, flinching a little as he touched them. he shook his head gently, looking at you with sincere eyes.

“they don’t have to be perfect. scars have stories. and you are a walking masterpiece. every scar tells a part of your story.”

he gently pulled your arm towards him, his fingers still tracing the scars.

“these aren’t flaws. they’re proof that you’ve been through something, and you’ve survived. they’re part of what makes you...you.”

he gently placed your arm back down and moved closer to you, his face serious again.

“i’ve said it before, and i’ll say it again. you’re not broken. you just need a little extra love. and that’s something i’m more than willing to give you.”

he reached out and gently touched your cheek, his thumb rubbing your cheekbone.

you found yourself relaxing into his touch, the fear and anxiety fading away. you closed your eyes, feeling the comfort of his warm hand.

“you’re so good to me,”

you murmured, your voice barely audible.

he chuckled softly and pulled you into his lap, wrapping his arms around you.

“that’s because i love you. all of you.”

[ikktygcto]

— 민호 “FAMILY”

𝑒x.ᐟminho × 𝒻 em.ᐟreader

hey! this is my first post on this account. welcome back in you are from @wrttenbyhan. if not, hello! and welcome to my world of writing. here is a safe space for you and other readers to communicate, read and support me through my journey! please check out my account - you might like it!

𝒽appy reading !

minho’s cats loved you, maybe even more than minho himself. soonie, doongie and dori were all attached to you, clinging to you everytime you came over. you five were the perfect family. if minho’s cats liked you, then he knew you were the one.

that was until you and minho started to grow distant. you were in your third year of college and minho was working a full time job as a dance teacher. both of you were busy, so you two decided to break up on good terms. even though it hurt, it was hard to balance out having a relationship with separate lives.

but it took a toll on his cats. everyday coming back from the studio, minho always saw soonie sitting on the window sill, looking outside as if he was waiting for you to visit like you usually did. soonie wouldn’t even join minho in bed for cuddles anymore.

he couldn’t stand seeing soonie so sad all the time, so he decided to call you to make plans. he kept manipulating himself, saying that it was all for soonie’s sake, but deep inside, minho - and soonie - knew it was more for him.

you had managed to make time to visit minho on his day off. pulling up in minho’s driveway, soonie was seen in the window, clawing at the already scratched glass as he remembered the familiar car, meowing loudly. minho looked over from where he was currently sitting ; you were here. he stood up and approached the window.

“look, baby, it’s your y/n!”

minho cooed, petting soonie’s fur. he watched as you made your way to his front door.

nervously, you prodded your way to the front door. this was giving you memories ; good and bad. mainly good. you knocked on the door and waited.

minho let out a sigh, his heartbeat increasing as he made his way to the front door. he opened it, greeting you with an empty smile. he hadn’t seen you in so long and he missed you so much. just the mere sight of you made butterflies flutter in his stomach.

“hey.”

he leaned against the doorway, almost tripping. fuck. that was embarrassing. he blushed and stood up straight.

you held in a giggle as you watched him trip. he was always so clumsy, especially when he was flustered. whenever you would hold his hand, or after a kiss, he would be so flustered that you would think that he was ill. his voice would tremble and his cheeks would go an adorable - but bright - red.

you waved slightly with that gorgeous smile that made minho’s knees weak.

“hi..”

minho’s eyes wandered up and down your body, taking in your appearance. you still looked as beautiful as ever. he cleared his throat and stepped aside to let you come in before closing the door behind him.

“long time no see, huh?”

you nodded. as you looked around, you noticed that everything was the same ; the pictures of him and the cats and some family still sat in the right places, the cactus stayed in its rightful place. the only thing difference was the duffle bag that stayed on the stairs, which held his dance kit.

“yeah,”

you said with a sigh, a happy sigh,

“it’s been a while.”

minho shoved his hands in his pockets. suddenly feeling awkward. he nodded his head in agreement before letting out a sharp exhale.

“how’ve you been?”

“good,”

you replied. it was so awkward now, you used to hug and kiss your way to the couch and you would cuddle there while you both talked about your day. he would always be extremely clingy when you got home, like a leech. but you didn’t mind it, in fact, you loved it.

“how about you?”

minho shrugged, his eyes avoiding yours. he hated this. the awkwardness between you two. where was all the giggling and teasing? where was the love?

“i’m alright. tired mostly. work is exhausting.”

wanting to get to the point, you asked where the cats were.

minho perked up at the mention of the cats.

“they’re around somewhere,”

he then shouted out,

“doongie! dori!”

minho then looked over to where doongie was sleeping peacefully on the couch. dori was laying on the cat tower. but soonie was still sitting behind you, on the windowsill.

you picked poor soonie up, and kissed his little head. you could tell the difference between soonie and doongie because soonie had a pink nose, while doongie had an orange one that matched his coat.

“hey, soonie, baby..”

soonie meowed happily, the sound of your familiar voice making him happy as usual. he nuzzled his head against your chest, his tail gently swaying. minho watched from the doorway, his heart melting as he saw you holding his cat in your arms. you whispered,

“how are you? are you coping without y/n? hmm?”

soonie then purred, his body fully relaxed in your hold. he looked up at you with wide eyes, almost as if he was saying “i’ve missed you a lot.” minho sighed silently, walking over to you. he gently petted soonie’s head before standing next to you.

“he’s been pretty sad, actually. i think he misses you a lot. he always sits at the window, waiting for you to come home.”

you pouted, knowing that you missed the cats too. now that you think about it, you missed everything. even minho.

“yeah, i.. i’ve missed them too.”

he hummed in response, keeping his hand on soonie’s fur. dori jumped off of the couch, approaching you as well. minho let out a light chuckle, looking over at you.

“dori and doongie have too. they seem to prefer you over me now, you know.”

you lightly chuckled, shaking your head. you sat on the floor and both kitties climbed onto your lap, yearning for your love, affection and care. sort of like how you yearned for minho’s love.

“where’s doongie, anyway?”

you muttered, trying to guide your mind to someplace else.

minho pointed over to the couch, where doongie was fast asleep. he was curled up into a ball on the couch cushion.

“there he goes again... little lazybones.”

you giggled and let out an “aww!”

minho shook his head in amusement, crossing his arms over his chest. he sat down on the floor next to you, watching his cats surround you. dori was settled in your lap, doongie was peacefully sleeping on the couch while soonie was rubbing against your legs.

“god... you really do have them wrapped around your finger.”

he moved closer to you, sitting cross legged on the floor. he looked at dori and soonie, smiling softly. he really missed the wholesome moments like this.

“i haven’t seen them this playful in a while. you really do have a way with them.”

you nodded and smiled. then suddenly, minho got a notification on his phone. the most shocking thing was that his lockscreen was still of you. the picture that he took of you when you guys went on your first year anniversary date. he quickly turned his phone off, but you were able to catch a glimpse.

“is.. is that me?”

minho’s cheeks heated up, a light red flush appearing on them. he cleared his throat, shoving the phone back into his pocket. he looked away, avoiding eye contact.

“oh, uhm... yeah it is...”

he said sheepishly.

you blushed. your face slowly creeped into a crimson red, and you started stuttering. maybe he misses you too. well, obviously he does, why else would he still have you on his lockscreen?

his face only turned a brighter shade of red, an awkward silence settling in between you two. he fidgeted with his rings, not knowing what to say next. he had completely forgotten about the photo of you on his lock screen, he was so used to it being there. honestly, he thought you wouldn’t notice it.

minho bit the inside of his cheek, trying his best to not look at you. he was embarrassed. why was that photo still on his phone? why did he leave it as the wallpaper when it was clearly the source of the pain he felt from the breakup?

he was completely at loss of words. all he could do was sit there in silence, feeling awkward and flustered.

you couldn’t hold back anymore. you pulled your phone out and showed him your lockscreen, which still matched with his, a picture of him on your first year anniversary date. you just missed him so much.

minho’s eyes darted down to your phone, which you were holding up for him to see. seeing his own face as the lock screen was a shock. his heart skipped a beat as he looked at it. he hadnt expected you to have his photo on your phone, especially after everything that happened.

he looked at you, his heart beating rapidly in his chest. he was completely dumbfounded.

“i missed you. a lot.”

you mustered, putting your phone in your pocket. minho then inhaled sharply, feeling a knot form in his throat. he missed you as well. a lot. but he couldn't bring himself to tell you.

“i... i miss you too.”

he said it barely above a whisper. he felt weak. he hated how much he was still attached to you.

“you know.. i only came for you, well, obviously for the cats as well, but mainly for you, minho.”

minho raised his eyebrows, his eyes going wide like saucers. he hadn’t expected you to admit such a thing. but deep down, he felt the same. he wanted to see you. he wanted to talk to you, hold you.

“you... you did?”

he tried to keep a steady voice, but he was already failing to. you nodded, feeling tears well up in your eyes for some reason. you went to grip his hand, but you pulled it back.

minho felt his heart ache as he looked at you. he wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around you, to feel your warmth close to him. but he held himself back.

“why?”

he asked sheepishly.

“because i still love you, minho.”

those rang in his head. “i still love you,” my god, he couldn't take this anymore. a wave of emotions flooded through him.

without even thinking, minho moved closer to you, closing the gap between you. he gently cupped your face in his hands, stroking your cheeks tenderly with his thumbs. he finally looked into your eyes, his heart leaping in his chest.

“i love you too. i never stopped.”

[ikktygcto]

Baby..."ur scars are beautiful " fic made me cry so bad. U are such a beautiful writter 😭💞

hi baby! im glad i made you cry from my fic. i love you! thank you so much, i do it for you guys 🙏🙏

[ikktygcto]

STRAY KIDS AND GHIBLI IN ONE POST?!?! MY LIFE IS COMPLETE

★. #STRAYKIDS AS STUDIO GHIBLI CHARACTERS ୨ৎ

★ ⊰⊹ฺ @changbinsbabyloveskz ⭑ᕦ 益 ⊡

[ikktygcto]

필릭스 — “YOUR SCARS ARE BEAUTIFUL..”

𝒽usband.ᐟfelix × 𝒻 em.ᐟreader

hi! not much to say - i love you guys i guess? oh yeah i have loads of stuff in my drafts so i may be posting more often (or not)! feel free to dm me or send me an ask ; don’t be shy, i’m the bubbliest person ever.

𝒽appy reading !

you’ve been insecure about your body because of your scars, reminders of pain you've experienced, and you never wanted to show felix your body because of this, but he never knew the reason.

it was late on a saturday night, and you were with felix, lying down on the bed, watching netflix. you were cuddling, with your leg over his, and he was in his iconic gray sweatpants and white shirt.

he was looking at you with admiration and gently grabbed your hand and pulled up your sleeve. you flinched, but he started tracing your scars and smiled.

“your skin, even with your scars, is like the sky with stars,”

he whispered, taking your chin in his fingers. he gave you the most beautiful smile and kissed your forehead.

“really?”

you murmured, your breath quickening as felix continued to trace the scars that led you to years of trauma.

looking at you with love in his eyes, nodded slowly.

”yes, really. to me, they’re like a constellation.”

he traced your scars with his finger, his touch sending chills down your spine. he looked at you with a mix of sadness and adoration.

he kept tracing your scars, his touch delicate and reverent.

“they’re not imperfections. they’re evidence of your strength. they’re a testament to the hard battles you’ve fought.”

he looked up at your face, giving you a soft smile,

“they’re a part of you, and i love every part of you. even the scars.”

he continued tracing your scars, his touch gentle and admiring.

“i know you don’t like them, and you try to hide them from me. but please believe me, i see the beauty in them. i see the resilience and the courage that you have.”

he lifted your hand to his lips and kissed your wrist, his eyes never leaving yours.

“you’re not broken. you’re strong. and that’s more beautiful than any perfect skin could be.”

felix’s words were like a soothing balm to your wounded soul. you looked into his eyes, and all you saw was love and acceptance. it was overwhelming, but in a good way.

“i never thought anyone could love me,”

you said softly, your breath slowly calming down the slightest bit,

“scars and all.”

he pulled you closer, wrapping his arms around you.

“you are worthy of love, even with all of your flaws and imperfections. and i don’t just love you despite them. i love you because of them.”

you buried your face in his chest, feeling the warmth of his body against yours. you whispered,

“i’m so afraid. afraid to show you all of me. afraid that you will think that i’m hideous.”

he held you tighter, and you could feel the rise and fall of his breathing. it was soothing. but it couldn’t help your anxiety of being bare and vulnerable again.

“i could never find you hideous. you are beautiful, inside and out. and i want to see all of you, if you will let me.”

felix replied, his deep, rumbly voice with an accent filling your ears. it tingled, and then it calmed you. but you could feel tears prickling at the corner of your eyes already.

“i’m scared.”

he lifted your chin gently, making you look at him. the sincerity in his eyes was overwhelming.

“hey. look at me. i love you. scars and all. and i’ll do anything to make you feel safe with me.”

he wiped away a tear that had escaped down your cheek. he then kissed your forehead, his lips lingering for a moment.

“i promise you, i won’t judge. i won’t think you’re hideous. all i want is to see you in your complete self.”

he pulled away slightly to look at you, his eyes searching your face.

“can you trust me? let me see you, truly?”

you took a deep, shaky breath. you knew that he was sincere, that he really did love you. but the fear was still there, clawing at your heart.

“i want to,”

you whispered, a sob daring to rip out,

“but it’s so hard.”

“i know it’s scary. but i’m here for you. i’ll be right here. i promise.”

he nodded, gently brushing a strand of hair off your forehead. his words and his touch were so gentle, they nearly broke you.

“okay,”

you said softly. you took a large exhale, then an exhale, just as felix had taught you to. you fidgeted with your hands for a minute, and replied,

“i’ll try.”

felix smiled, his eyes crinkling. he pulled you in for another tight hug, and you found yourself holding onto him like a lifeline.

“take your time. and remember, i love you no matter what.”

you took a deep breath and slowly sat up, breaking the hug. you could feel your heart pounding in your chest, and your hands were trembling.

“okay, i’m ready.”

you confessed, more to yourself than to felix.

he sat up and moved to sit in front of you. he took your hand in his and gave you an encouraging smile.

“i’m here, baby. i’m right here.”

your hands were still shaking as you reached for the hem of your shirt.

“just remember,”

you started off, still trembling tremendously,

“i look terrible when i-”

he cut you off by fiercely shaking his head.

“don't finish that sentence. you’re going to look amazing. no matter what.”

you took another deep breath and nodded. you slowly pulled your shirt over your head and dropped it on the bed.

you sat there for a moment, feeling vulnerable and exposed. you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him. you haven’t felt this vulnerable in ages. it didn’t feel good. you had to push through it.

his voice was soothing as he spoke, his hand rubbing your thigh.

“baby, look at me.”

you slowly raised your gaze to meet his. felix gave you a warm smile, his eyes full of love and adoration.

“you’re gorgeous.”

you could feel your face heating up, and you couldn’t help but feel a tiny bit bashful.

“really?”

you asked him, a small smile creeping up the corner of your lips.

“absolutely. you’re stunning,”

he nodded, his eyes flickering down to your exposed skin. he looked back up at your face, his gaze never leaving yours. slowly, he reached out and ghosted his fingers over your arm. he traced the scars gently, his touch so light it almost tickled.

“see? aren’t these scars beautiful?”

“they’re not perfect,”

you muttered, flinching a little as he touched them. he shook his head gently, looking at you with sincere eyes.

“they don’t have to be perfect. scars have stories. and you are a walking masterpiece. every scar tells a part of your story.”

he gently pulled your arm towards him, his fingers still tracing the scars.

“these aren’t flaws. they’re proof that you’ve been through something, and you’ve survived. they’re part of what makes you...you.”

he gently placed your arm back down and moved closer to you, his face serious again.

“i’ve said it before, and i’ll say it again. you’re not broken. you just need a little extra love. and that’s something i’m more than willing to give you.”

he reached out and gently touched your cheek, his thumb rubbing your cheekbone.

you found yourself relaxing into his touch, the fear and anxiety fading away. you closed your eyes, feeling the comfort of his warm hand.

“you’re so good to me,”

you murmured, your voice barely audible.

he chuckled softly and pulled you into his lap, wrapping his arms around you.

“that’s because i love you. all of you.”

[ikktygcto]

Haven’t seen it talked about yet. STAY’s we need to do better! This fandom is supposed to be a safe place for everyone, instead some are turning on each other. It’s getting so bad that Chan is taking all the blame, he’s already in a rough spot now he’s feeling like he’s the problem and that he can’t say anything anymore in fear of the fandom and those outside misunderstanding.

I hate seeing him like this and I’m sure the others are feeling the stress and pressure, I’m sure they are worried for Chan as much or maybe even more than us. He loves STAYs and tries so hard to make sure we all know that he and the boys do no matter where we are, what hate is he’s being told he doesn’t love the fandom equally.

The world is already filled with hate, greed and Jealousy; people are already at odds with each other in some cases the hatred is worse than some of us could possibly imagine. This fandom doesn’t need that in the only place some of us feel safe.

My heart hurts for the boys, for the fandom and everyone that is hurting for those who are feeling lost and helpless.

In short we need to do better! If STAY’s are turning on each other the fault lies with them, not any of the boys!!

For all those who are struggling right now, you are loved. You are doing amazing. Keep doing your best. Keep sharing your love and support to those who need it. You belong.

I wish everyone only the best.

-Kay

[ikktygcto]

　　　　　hold on tight　۶ৎ　chapter　one.

the rules say everyone who has no one to go with in the roaller coaster will be paired with other single ones. that was how han jisung ended up screaming and squeezing the hand of an unknown pretty girl in madrid's amusement park.

pairing.　han jisung x noa louredo ( f oc )　wc.　12 . 2 k

genre.　idol !au , found family , fluff　cw.　jisung 's pov , anxiety , panic attack , our quokka is afraid of heights , everything is in english minus the italics ( depending on who 's talking might be korean or spanish ).

⭐๋࣭⭑　 first update ! ───── back to the timeline.

an　. .　sososo happy to have a new beginning in this side blog with my big project! this is so special to me! i hope you get to love it as much as i do. big big thank u to my girls @lyramundana and @catiuskaa for being right next to me in every step of the way. os quiero muchísimo <33 this is a gift, and a shout out, and a toast to spanish culture, me thinks. enjoy it! and please consider leaving a comment or reblogging. thank you so much, i truly hope you have the nicest day !

All his friends knew that the moment Jisung put on his hood and managed to grab his phone from the manager's bag, his social battery had reached rock-bottom levels. Unfortunately, he had no hood in which to hide from the rest of the world at the moment, and the anxiety clawed at his throat from the inside, warning him that unlocking his phone's screen for anything other than taking pictures of the event would make him look ridiculous. He felt the bespoke black Balmain suit soft against his skin, almost a soothing weight, but he was surrounded by strangers who were likely to be more famous than he could ever be, and he had hundreds of cameras pointed in his direction, waiting for the reaction to every outfit that appeared on the catwalk in front of him.

At least he wasn't completely alone. He had his manager sitting right behind him, Felix chatting quietly with a girl three seats to his right, and he knew that the leader of his group was somewhere in all the chaos, also displaying an extroversion that overwhelmed Jisung. He couldn't understand, no matter how many years he had been witnessing it, how the two Australians in his K-pop group could engage in conversation with anyone unrelated to them so easily. And it wasn't even that he envied them for it, because it wasn't something he wanted to be able to do, he just stared at them in horror and prayed that the panic wouldn't show on his face. But he had travelled all the way from Seoul to Madrid just to attend the event, so he had to swallow his nervousness and make a good impression.

Stray Kids was starting to become quite famous, even if he wasn't really aware of the magnitude, and apart from music, his company had started to explore other fronts. Around the last few months of the year, they were going to shoot a kind of short film with one of the songs from their second comeback in 2023 as the soundtrack, and in addition to various advertising campaigns, they had been considering the world of fashion for some time. The Louis Vuitton brand had taken Felix in almost instantly, showering him with French clothes and affection, just as Versace had done with Hyunjin. In his opinion, it seemed that Fendi wanted to see how Bangchan's image would look in their campaigns, and he had read in Stay's comments that there were rumours they would end up being international ambassadors for the brands.

Jisung was grateful that Balmain had chosen him, out of all the idols in the industry, even out of all the members of his group, to represent the brand at this collaborative event between Balenciaga and Zara for the winter campaign. He knew it was an amazing opportunity for Stray Kids, and especially for him as an artist, but the management team at his company hadn't given him the option to refuse, and perhaps that lack of choice was what was making his outlook on the situation so negative. He couldn't stop thinking about the fact that he was almost thirteen hours away from his family, his boyfriend, part of his band, and in a place he didn't know at all. Every second that passed in which he allowed the weight of that certainty to overwhelm him, his heart began to beat faster.

“First time?” someone suddenly whispered to his left, causing him to startle.

Jisung squinted around the semi-dark room, focusing his gaze on the figure of the girl he had greeted nervously as he sat in the chair that bore his name, both Korean and Romanised. Her hair was pulled back, stretched in neat, defined lines, though the long mane fell down her back in a smooth cascade of chocolate-coloured strands. Her clear, delineated gaze was fixed on him, expectant, as if she couldn't stop the almond shape of her eyes from taking on that sharp edge. He merely nodded, smiling as much as he could, curving his lips into a more enthusiastic copy of hers.

“Me too!” her shoulders twitched when Jisung heard her laugh, and for a moment he feared that the people around them would tell them off because of the melodious and easy way the laughter left her lips. Jisung had the feeling that she was the type of girl who attracted attention without even being aware of it.

And then he realised that they were both speaking Korean. He frowned, confused, because he knew that most of the people in the audience were Spanish一and she certainly seemed to be, with her tanned skin and foreign accent一but her level was quite good. He moved slightly closer to her as he noticed the cameras around them starting to flash at their unexpected interaction, but turned in such a way as to leave a respectful distance between them.

“Are you from here?” Jisung cleared his throat.

“More or less,” she replied, leaning towards him as if she were telling him a secret. “I'm from Spain, and I live here, but I'm from a town to the south, down at the bottom of the map.”

“Oh,” he murmured, his mind completely blank.

“From your reaction, it's as if I've spoken to you in a completely different language,” she laughed.

“The truth is, this is my first time in Spain,” he replied, smiling more confidently, as if striking up that small conversation with the girl, who was so nice, distracted him from the rest. “It's been a ride from the airport to the hotel, from the hotel to here…”

“I can imagine,” she whispered, nodding. “When I arrived in Madrid it was the same, but it's a city that has its charm. I got to know it thanks to my friends at uni, who showed me around a bit. If you want, I can give you a tour”.

Jisung opened his eyes wide in surprise and gave his manager a quick glance in case he had heard them. Maybe he'd gone too far in talking to a stranger, maybe he actually should find a polite way to turn down her offer without making her feel bad. He had to do it fast, he thought, because staring at her with that look on his face didn't seem like a good idea.

“Huh... The truth is... Well, I…”

“Hey, it wasn't obligatory to answer,” she murmured, resting a hand on his arm gently, ready to pull it away if she saw that he wasn't at ease with the physical contact. “My best friend always tells me I have no filter, which is hypocritical because she acts the same way, but I'm sorry if it made you uncomfortable. Do you want us to introduce ourselves first?”

He saw her smile again as he nodded slowly, his heart still trying to escape his chest, feeling the warm palm of her hand through the fabric of the expensive black suit. But it was all right, wasn't it? She was a kind girl, who had a definite trust issue一of placing it in strangers, obviously一but who didn't seem to have any ill intentions. And they were both in a room full of people, anyway. Nothing could go wrong.

“My name is Abril,” she said, tilting her head slightly, “I studied at EID, the European Institute of Design, I have a silly little vlog on YouTube and I really like makeup”.

“I'm Jisung” he replied, mimicking the bow. “Han Jisung, and I'm an idol, and... well, huh…”.

“No, no, no, no, you're doing it wrong,” she corrected him, refusing his answer firmly, and also shaking her hands, as if she was incapable of not using them when she spoke. “I know you're an idol and which brand invited you to represent them. Usually, anyone who has informed themselves about the event knows that. Introduce yourself for real, like I did”.

“Like you?”

“Mm-hm,” she made eye contact with him, and indicated the beginning of the sentence. “You're Jisung, you come from...”

“Oh, yeah” he nodded, now with more enthusiasm, understanding where she was going. “I'm Jisung, I live in Seoul, and I'm a K-pop producer and singer. I like music a lot, and anime, and watching documentaries”.

“See, fantastic introduction,” she told him, clapping quietly, but with a big smile on her face. “So, it's your first time on a catwalk”.

“And yours,” he replied, unable to bite his tongue. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course,” Jisung realised that they were fully turned towards each other, and that with how focused he was on the conversation he had stopped stressing over the myriad thoughts that anxiety had been pushing into his mind.

“If you're from here how come you speak Korean so well?” his brow was furrowed, lips forming a pout, and she thought it was adorable because it was the same gesture her best friend used when she didn't understand something.

“I like to listen to Korean music,” she replied, hoping not to scare him off, “occasionally”.

“So you already knew who I was?” he asked, his leg starting to move up and down.

“I know which group you belong to,” Abril said, her smile adopting a relaxed, casual gesture. “And I know you're not the boy with the foxy eyes, or the one with the freckles, which are the ones I find the most recognisable”.

“Oh,” Jisung murmured, exhaling a relieved sigh that he didn't know he was holding back. “Jeongin and Felix”.

“Yeah, that was it,” he heard her crystalline laughter again, “but I prefer girl groups, sorry. Or Seventeen. I saw Mr. Freckles around earlier, though, he looks amazing”.

“Louis Vuitton is doing an awesome job with him, and they're very nice and attentive,” he explained, smiling at the thought of his best friend. “He's been very well-received, and our fans love it”.

“No wonder,” Abril replied, nodding, “Louis Vuitton has a very good reputation”.

There was a pause, and Jisung looked away from the Spanish girl, suddenly self conscious. She knew who he was, and not because she was a fan, part of Stay, but because she had studied the guests at the event. However, he didn't know her at all and it was starting to become less of a problem to talk to her and more of a reason to start feeling bad. He wasn't good at starting a conversation, and he doubted that in a situation like that asking her about her favourite colour was the best move.

He opened his mouth, ready to ignore the anxiety bubbling in his chest, but the lights dimmed without warning, and Jisung let all the air in his lungs escape with a sigh. His manager, his older brother, tapped him on the shoulder gently, resting the palm of his hand to anchor him to reality, to let him know that this was the first sign that the catwalk was about to begin. The murmur in the room gradually died down, and as soon as he no longer felt his brother's hand on his shoulder muscles his knee began to rise and fall uncontrollably, in an insufferable twitch that at least helped him to relax the racing heartbeat in his chest.

He barely had had time to talk to the girl, Abril, and just when it seemed that he had finally realised that he was capable of making a new friend on his own, he had been interrupted. He wasn't even able to concentrate on the introduction to the event, on what songs were playing as the first models came out. All he could think about was how sweet she had been to him, and how unresponsive he had been in return. He had made such a terrible impression. If only he could go back in time, perhaps change the few words he had spoken to something more intelligent, something that sounded more confident…

But then she felt Abril's soft hair brush against his arm, her bright eyes still following one of the girl's figures around the stage as she whispered, excitedly, how much she liked that specific outfit. And somehow, all the voices in Jisung's head quieted a little. He cleared his throat, as if he could reset the reaction he had just had, and tried to locate the model she was talking about, offering her his opinion on the cute knitted jumper she was wearing.

It didn't take long for them to start gossiping, choosing a classic one-to-ten point system to evaluate the clothes, whispering numbers and softly hushed giggles to each other between models, slyly pointing at each one of them to comment on the outfits. And with some glee, Jisung realised that he was having a really good time. He didn't feel judged when Abril made him laugh and his laughter sounded slightly louder than it should, and he didn't worry about the image he was giving, not even when he was so into their conversation that he totally missed Felix's tender gaze, full of affection and pride that anxiety hadn't crept up his chest until it choked him.

Even as the catwalk came to an end, and the CEOs of each fashion brand came out to greet the audience, Jisung was still glued to the girl, clapping but exchanging murmurs, and when the lights shone over them again, it was Jisung who asked her to accompany him outside, to the small terrace hidden from the eyes of the public waiting at the outdoors stairs, so that they could talk some more. Or meet Chan and Felix, whichever made her feel more comfortable.

“Actually, I have to take a taxi home,” the brunette apologised, clutching her small bag in both hands, pursing her lips into a pout. “I have to get there before the pizza delivery guy does”

Abril's laughter hung in the air, triggered by a joke that Jisung hadn't understood, but the Korean's face turned somewhat serious as he realised what it implied. After nearly two hours with her, perhaps letting her go so quickly didn't seem quite so right.

“Maybe we can drop you off at home on our way to the hotel,” he suggested, forgetting to glance at his manager to confirm that he could do that.

“No way, don't worry,” she replied, resting a hand on his arm. Her smile was genuine, and Jisung wondered if she really didn't mind having to pay for the taxi or if she was just saying that to avoid compromising him with his companions. “It's right here, nearby”.

Jisung looked at her, letting her know with a raised eyebrow that precisely because it was right there, nearby, it wasn't a problem for them to drop her off.

“If your fans see me get into your car, I'll lose my public career,” she added, her mouth quivering in a rueful gesture, and Jisung knew she was absolutely right.

Jisung deflated, and gave her an apologetic smile. Maybe in Spain the fans weren't as pushy as in other countries, he didn't know, but there were sasaengs everywhere, and a photo taken out of context could ruin her life and force him to go on hiatus.

“But,” Abril continued, looking away, but letting him notice the mischievous glint in her eyes, which didn't bode no good, “if you're going to stay longer in Madrid, the tour offer still stands. Signing whatever NDA's it takes to make you feel safer, just as a friend showing you around the city”.

“For real?”

Jisung saw that as a possibility. It wasn't the first time they had made the most of events in other countries and visited the city or hung out with friends. It was true that they had to return to Korea as soon as possible to finish preparing for the imminent comeback, but it wouldn't be anything they hadn't done before. Even their company could investigate Abril's digital footprint if they didn't trust her. The city looked very nice, and he knew he wouldn't be bored with her. He could even invite Chan and Felix and introduce them.

“Of course! Tomorrow is the birthday of two of my best friends,” Abril explained, making calculations with one finger, counting days in the air. “We're going to the Warner, which is an amusement park very close by. I know Lucas won't mind if a few extra friends join us. And then I think we're going to Murcia for a couple of days, but you can join us too. We're good people, promise”.

And he knew she wasn't lying. A soul as pure as hers could only get along with people just as fantastic. The plan sounded like a lot of fun, and even if his manager wouldn't allow him to travel with strangers, he couldn't deny him an innocent visit to an amusement park in the city, so he would most likely be able to see her the next day. That was enough for him.

“I'll have to consult with my manager and the guys about the trip,” he announced, taking a breath of air to pretend he didn't feel guilty about making decisions without the input of his hyungs and Felix.

“Mm-hm,” she mumbled, nodding.

“But I guess I'll see you tomorrow at the Warner.”

“My God, that's fantastic!” she exclaimed, tightening her grip on the young rapper's arm, her touch warm in the Spanish capital's night breeze. “If you need anything, text me on Instagram!”

Before he could react, the girl threw her arm around his shoulders, pulling him into a gentle hug, and hurried off, unlocking the screen of her phone to check the time and blurting out a string of what Jisung thought sounded like a litany of aggressive insults in Spanish. Jisung stared at the screen of Abril's phone, a selfie of her and two young boys who looked like they could be her brothers, and as he processed her words he thought the Spaniards were having a very late dinner if they intended to have pizza at eleven o'clock at night. Then he remembered all those times he had made himself ramen when he got home late, and smiled as he realised he couldn't say anything about it. Maybe their cultures weren't so different after all.

He saw Abril's white lace dress flutter behind her as she descended the stairs to the main entrance and he also saw her disappear into the crowd, letting a high whistle escape from between her lips and then exclaiming an unmistakable ‘Taxi!’ in a loud, musical Spanish accent.

He turned towards the inside of the building, looking for Felix's unmistakable blond hair, which would be the easiest to spot among so many people, and waited in a corner for his friend to get lost in the area he had escaped to. The staff would wait for all the guests to leave the venue before starting to rearrange the chairs and decorations for the after party, but a few people with the organisers' costumes and name cards were already guiding the stragglers towards the entrance.

Jisung felt that it would be an opportune moment to pull out his phone, and at least try to contact Chan or his manager to let them know where he was. After giving a couple of rather competent directions, it was Jaehyun, his older brother, who managed to reach him, and Felix who greeted him with a pat on the shoulder and his eyebrows rising and falling suggestively.

“That's a rather childish reaction when you consider I'm a taken man,” he commented with an incredulous smile, before the blond could say anything.

“That wasn't why I did it,” he protested in reply, the high-pitched whine catching in his throat. “But you could share her number in the group chat or something, in case anyone's interested”.

He let out a laugh at his own words, as if he had told a hilarious joke, and Jisung rolled his eyes playfully. He shook his head, knowing Felix loved to act like that, and turned to his leader when he called his name.

“Did she know us?”

“She's a Kpop fan, but not Stay,” he explained, getting defensive immediately. He knew Chan was only asking that question because he cared about him, but he couldn't help but think that maybe if they had been the ones sitting next to Abril, they probably would have introduced her by now and been close friends. “I wish you had met her, she has a responsible little girl aura, so adorable”.

He saw Felix frown, perhaps not quite understanding the phrase, but ignored it. He thought it was a fairly accurate description of Abril, but it was true that it could come off as a bit odd if you hadn't interacted with her. It reminded him a bit of the way the blond himself lit up the room he was in, and made you feel special when he gave you his undivided attention. But he couldn't dwell on what description to use for his new friend, at least not yet. He had more important things to think about.

His priority was to figure out how to introduce the topic of meeting up the next day without causing rejection out of mistrust. Because he knew that no matter how much he infected Felix with enthusiasm, the final word rested with Chan and Jaehyun, his manager, who were directly responsible for him, especially overseas. And while Jae answered directly to Division 1, Chan would primarily look out for his safety. And Jisung had to admit that his hyung didn't seem too sure he could trust anything Abril had said.

“Jae hyung, do we have any plans for the next few days?”

“A scheduled visit tomorrow to the Bernabeu stadium for Chan,” he said, his gaze automatically flicking to the screen of his phone as he tried to recall the trip schedule from memory. “But I can't think about anything else. Why? Do you want to add anything?”

“Can we go to the Warner in the afternoon?” continued Jisung, waiting for that pause where the question would sink into their heads before they asked what that was.

But it didn't take long. Felix grabbed his arm, his eyes wide with excitement as he looked at him, as full of anticipation as Abril had been when he'd told her they'd see each other tomorrow. He knew Felix wouldn't let him down一what had surprised him had been how little time he had taken to react.

“What is…” began Chan.

“Do I want to know what the Warner is?” interrupted Jaehyun, crossing his arms.

“It's the amusement park in Madrid!” exclaimed Felix, doing all the work for Jisung without realising it. “Can we go, please?”

Chan narrowed his eyes, recognising Jisung's gesture of fake innocence, but decided to keep quiet, leaving the decision in the manager's hands. For a few moments the four were silent, and Jisung could count his heartbeat in the agonising seconds it took Jaehyun to weigh the pros and cons of the idea. Felix's eyes were closed tightly, fingers folded in prayer, and at the cute sight the manager could only exhale a defeated sigh.

“I'll take care of getting the tickets,” he muttered, hiding a smile at the enthusiasm of the youngsters.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ⭐๋࣭⭑

Unable to sit still, Jisung stirred once more in the seat of the tinted-window car he felt he had been stuck in all day. It had just turned five in the afternoon, and although he knew that if he were in Seoul it would start to cool down soon, he was finding out that  that didn't apply in Madrid, with the high temperatures still sliding down his back in sweat in a way he wasn't used to. It was very hot, and having to wear a mask and hat to avoid being recognised only added to the discomfort of his long-sleeved clothes. He was looking forward to getting to the amusement park, to being able to get out of the car and get some air, but at times his only wish was to get to the hotel and take a cold shower as soon as possible.

The night before he had made a video call with Minho, telling him everything that had happened at the event, from the most tense and nerve-wracking moments to the sweetness of the lovely April. He'd listened to him for a good while in silence until Jisung realised he hadn't even looked at what time it was in Seoul, and when the dancer told him not to worry, that his day was worth hearing about, Jisung had eventually hung up on him, knowing that Minho would answer a call from him even if he was really busy. He felt there had to be boundaries.

Boundaries that Minho loved to cross, Jisung thought, when he realised that eleven o'clock at night in Spain was equivalent to six o'clock in the morning in Korea, and he knew he had woken Minho up too early.

But he hadn't been able to sleep, too excited about what would happen the next day. He had been up late watching YouTube videos, as usual, and by the time he realised he could look up the channel April had told him about, it was already one in the morning. The long plane ride had disrupted his sleep schedule, and he didn't really feel tired, so he started watching his new friend's latest vlogs.

He flicked through the covers of all the videos, guided by the images, as the titles were of little use to him because they were in Spanish, and ended up watching one from the previous week that featured the logo of his group. He recognised the words ‘Zara x Balenciaga 2023’ at the end of the title, and knew it was going to talk about the event they had attended that afternoon. As it started, an upbeat melody began to play in the background while the intro was shown: figures of celebrities with the effect of being cut out of paper appearing and disappearing against a light background, and then the same words he had seen as the title in typewriter font. Abril seemed to really enjoy editing videos.

And then she appeared, this time with all her hair down over her shoulders, the chocolate colour contrasting with the white T-shirt, and began to speak. It took Jisung a good forty seconds to realise that he didn't understand a word she was saying. He snorted, suppressing a smile, and paused the video, praying that there would be Korean among the subtitle options. As he searched for it, he found himself thinking that this was probably what all the international Stays were experiencing with their group's content. He should talk to Division 1 to make sure there was a variety of language options before uploading their videos.

When he finally pressed play, Jisung understood what the Spaniard had meant when she had said she had researched which celebrities would represent which brands. The video was basically about that. She had a roulette wheel with the main fashion brands, all invited by the organisers, and throughout the almost fifteen minutes that her explanation lasted she talked about what the event was going to be like, and who she would meet once she got inside. At the mention of Prada, Valentino and Gucci, Jisung remembered seeing some of the people Abril was talking about. But the minutes passed quickly, her voice soft in the background as he read the subtitles, until he realised she had left Fendi, Louis Vuitton and Balmain for last.

“The novelty in Europe is the three members of Stray Kids coming to Madrid” he had read, at the same time as the group photographs they had taken for Maxident appeared on his screen. “It's rare for a Kpop group to bother sending so many of their members to fashion events, but we're happy to host them here whenever they want.”

She had given a brief overview of how the Korean music industry worked for those who had no idea, and then objectively detailed what role each of them had in the group and which brand had invited them. He appreciated the professional and open way she had introduced them, and once again he understood why he had felt so comfortable with her. She made you feel welcome, listened to. She made you understand without making you feel foolish. With one warm look you knew you could trust her.

So he had told Minho, before he noticed he was falling asleep again.

But at that moment, in the car, after a busy morning in which he'd been late for his appointment at the gym with Chan only to then walk around the city for a while, before even going on the scheduled visit to the stadium of his hyung's favourite football team, it was too hot. Too hot. He rolled up the sleeves once more on the oversized yellow checked shirt he'd bought before the trip and turned to Felix, leaning his head back against the backrest with a huff. The blond, who had his phone in his hands as he played a game of Genshin, made an affirmative noise, almost as if asking if he was alright, leaning back against Jisung's shoulder.

“We're getting there, Ji,” said his manager, from the passenger seat, noticing his uneasiness.

He didn't reply, too distracted to notice that Jaehyun couldn't see him nod. Instead he fiddled with his own phone, removing and reattaching one of the corners of the case, deciding if it was a good idea to text Abril. He didn't have an individual Instagram account, even though more than half their members were considering creating one, and he didn't know if they'd let him use the group one for something like this. He hadn't discussed it with anyone, his plan to meet the Spanish girl at the Warner, and not knowing if it would be okay with his friends made him get in over his head.

He didn't even listen to the giddy answers Felix gave Chan, when their hyung asked him about what kind of attractions they would find, which ones he was looking forward to the most. Jisung would go into the Instagram app he hadn't even used that much, then turn off the screen. He would look for Abril's username, which he had memorised, then turn off the screen. When he turned it back on, the search box had gone blank, so he had to type it in. But when he finally had her account in his hands, he had to turn it off. Again. He wanted to contact her, but somehow he felt bad about it.

And then he felt Felix playfully nudging his head on his shoulder, as if he didn't have to shrink slightly to do so, as if he were a kitten, and heard him say “Do it.”

He didn't even register the way his heart stopped, thinking he'd been caught committing a crime. He glanced at Felix fleetingly, his wide eyes colliding with his best friend's soft gaze, and he slipped into the Spaniard's private messages, hoping that his shy “Just arrived at Warner's, where are you? Jisung” along with the blue check symbol indicating the authenticity of his account would get Abril to see it as soon as possible. And then he wrapped himself up in Felix, the two of them entwined like the hands of two lovers, answering Chan's questions with renewed energy.

Once they arrived, Jaehyun escorted them to the entrance of the huge amusement park, letting them wander along the cobblestone paths after showing the employees the tickets he had obtained the day before online, and Jisung tried to calm himself, to avoid looking at his phone, to enjoy the afternoon with his friends. He let Felix, to whom he had attached himself, as always, with his arms intertwined, guide them to the first attraction he wanted to go into, which had a short queue. Chan began to prattle on about the memories brought back by the pictures around the place, and Jisung took a breath of air to calm down as he looked at every person who passed them.

By the time Felix caught his attention, Jisung had already had a heart attack for every straight-haired brunette girl he'd seen, and the touch of his best friend's hand on his shoulder brought him back to reality, to the spinning mugs with Scooby Doo decorations, and to his leader's terrible jokes about how it was a betrayal to be there without his own Mystery Inc. gang's dog, Seungmin. He closed his eyes to relax a little before the ride got started, and then had to hold on to Felix and his manager, looking for a support that he could only find on the edge of the giant cup they'd been stuffed into as it began to spin, so as not to fly off.

It was funny, he thought. And then he let out a shaky laugh, hearing Felix's excited shout to his left, followed by one from Chan, in front of him, and stopped thinking. He didn't need to. Not as long as he could rest his mind and fill his memory with moments like that one.

And for a while it did work, exiting Scooby Doo's Tea Party Mystery and heading straight for the bumper cars themed after the cartoon Joker movie. The park was huge, and what was most striking was the continuity with which people screamed. It was all conversation and laughter and shouting all around him, until he realised that he too was laughing with his friends, and chatting. And he'd be screaming too, he thought to himself, when Felix pointed out all the roller coasters surrounding the smaller hotels and other attractions. The blond was going to want to go on one, probably the one that looked the most dangerous, as soon as they let him, even if he ended up passing out. Felix always did the same thing.

And Chan was always going to let him get away with riding one, even if it made Felix dizzy, because it also made him happy. He'd say it would be better if he could get on with Felix, check that everything was okay, be there to hold him when he lost consciousness, and that would leave Jisung alone, because Jaehyun refused to participate in crazy ideas like that.

So after getting out of the bumper cars with sore knees, but with their adrenaline pumping, he had already given up. They used the map they had been given on entry to get to the queue for Stunt Fall, the park's star roller coaster, and after fifteen minutes of pent-up nerves and waiting, they found themselves first in front of the roller coaster entrance. Chan went first, Felix behind him, following the directions in English from the staff, and Jisung waited for them to come back for him.

“Are you coming alone?” the boy asked, in a rough accent.

Jisung nodded, his throat suddenly dry, and he began to regret it as he realised he was being led to the opposite area where Felix and Chan had been placed. But he said nothing. It wasn't worth it. He was sure that the boy who was guiding him had already been annoyed at having to speak in English, which he had probably put on his résumé for the sake of puffing it up, and he didn't want to bother him with useless protests. 

He didn't feel able to formulate a sound, anyway. His vocal cords were as strained as the muscles in his shoulders, and if the girl in the seat next to him noticed it as the staff secured the harness on his body and the belt on his lap, she said nothing. Jisung closed his eyes and tried to swallow, highly attentive to the remaining people before the attraction was full and they could start. It was going to be hell.

“First time?” he heard from his left, as he watched the same staff member lead the couple who had waited behind his friends and him to a seat even further towards the back of the seating rows.

“First time?” the girl repeated, this time in English. Jisung turned to her all too quickly, utterly convinced he was experiencing déjà vu. This time he didn't need to squint to focus his eyes in the dark, but to make sure that the girl he had failed to greet nervously as he sat down wasn't Abril. She didn't actually look anything like her, her skin slightly paler and her hair chaotically curly and much darker, but she was the owner of a similar smile. Broad, kind, luminous.

Jisung nodded again, too overwhelmed to do anything else.

“Not mine,” she said, as if it were a matter of pride. “I always come with my friends when I can. It's pretty awesome, but you don't have to be afraid of safety. Nothing's going to happen to you, I promise.”

“Huh..., thanks.”’ he murmured, taking another breath of air.

A pause. Jisung concentrated on his breathing, on trying not to start shrieking too soon, on anything but his hands starting to shake.

“Do you want me to distract you for a bit?” the girl asked, catching his attention again, tilting her head to one side, her hands loosely attached to the harness, “or would you rather I leave you alone?”

Jisung was grateful to be able to choose. It gave his brain a sense of being in control of something, even if before she finished pronouncing the second part of the question he was already willing to say yes to the first option. He would give anything to pretend he wasn't about to die.

“A..., a distraction would be nice, actually,” he managed to mutter, his words causing the girl's sharp gaze to soften slightly.

“Mm-hm, I'll tell you random stuff then,” she warned him, as if Jisung could back out at any moment. “You can interrupt me whenever you want, I know I can be a pain in the ass. Or you can talk to me if you want, too. Did you come alone?”

“No,” he replied, his voice still trembling a little, glad to be able to focus on something other than the suffocating way the harness was digging into his skin. “I came with two other friends, but we were separated.”

“Oh, you didn't see the sign,” she sighed, scowling as if the information had really hurt her.

“What sign?”

“We didn't see it the first time we came here either,” the girl told him, smiling a shy, apologetic smile. “While you're queuing to get on, there's a sign that says if you don't have a partner to share a seat with, they'll put you with someone who doesn't have one either. That's why they put you with me.”

“You came alone?” asked Jisung.

“Nope,” she said, smiling, “I also came with my friends. But we are five. One gets dizzy so she goes with the one who doesn't have vertigo. And of the other three, last time Lucas went alone, so this time it was my turn. My name is Noa, by the way.”

“Jisung,” he said, more animated. “The same thing happened to me. Felix gets dizzy, so he can't go alone. And I wouldn't be much help either. Heights make me nervous.”

“It's okay, Jisung,” Noa said, savouring every syllable of his name, “you can be of help to me. Sometimes I need to squeeze someone's hand when the curves are too sharp. If you need it too, we can make a deal.”

It sounded good. He knew she would earn nothing off that deal, and that she was proposing it because he was probably so pale he looked sick. It was he who needed to be able to anchor himself to someone so he wouldn't get too overwhelmed, or dizzy, or faint, like Felix. The girl, Noa, was already being helpful to him, and he would be eternally grateful —it was either trust her or ask the boring boy from before to get him out of there and let him put his feet on solid ground. For a moment he even wondered if she was so kind to all the rookies they put next to her when she went alone, or if he had been an exception.

“I'd like to make that deal,” he confided, holding out his hand in front of them.

She took it, and Jisung held his breath, feeling Noa's soft palm against his. He felt her squeeze lightly, shaking both their hands, and had to try not to let it show as a shiver ran down his spine. For a moment he even forgot the way the mask had been sticking to his face and allowed himself to smile a little as he heard Noa's words, “I promise to hold on tight to your hand and let you know what's going to happen so it doesn't catch you by surprise.’

“I promise not to let go of your hand, and to hold on a lot tighter in response,’ he replied, and Noa saw his eyes narrow as he smiled, Jisung’s mask trembling as he let the air that had been choking him in his throat shakily come out.

They didn't separate their hands once the deal was made. Instead, Noa rested them on her lap, humming the song stuck in her head, giving Jisung a chance to observe her. She was tanned, not as tan as Abril, but a caramel shade that made the freckles on her cheeks blend with the wrinkles that formed around her eyes when she smiled. Her hair was tied back in a high ponytail, but the curls spilled over her bare shoulders like waterfalls of coffee. The top she was wearing was bright red, with a straight-across neckline that hugged her chest, crossed by a black fanny pack.

He let his gaze wander until Noa's voice brought him back to reality, “There's only one more minute left. Maybe you should put your hat away so it doesn't fly away.”

Jisung hadn't thought about that. The clothes he was wearing were loose, the way he liked them, and he didn't have a backpack. Jaehyun had all his belongings, as well as Felix’s and Chan's, so he didn't know where he could leave it. Noa must have seen the hesitation in his eyes, because with her free hand, she reached for his head, murmuring a quiet “May I?” and waiting for a nod before taking it. Jisung watched her fold it in half and stuff it as best she could behind her back, tucking it between her skin and the secure grip of her bra. His cheeks flushed red when he realized, but he didn't say anything, letting her settle back.

She gave him a smile, and he did the same, leaning back against the seat, closing his eyes, and breathing deeply. He felt Noa's hand give him a friendly squeeze, and despite the fear building in his chest, nerves rising in his throat, vertigo clouding his mind, he was able to return the squeeze, stroking the back of Noa's hand with his thumb.

And when the ride began, Jisung started screaming.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ⭐๋࣭⭑

Once they returned to their starting point, silence fell over the roller coaster. It lasted only a few seconds before shaky sighs and adrenaline-fueled screams began to sound around them, reactions that gradually ranged from euphoria to relief. Jisung would have considered himself in the second group, his heart pumping blood at full speed, if he weren't too busy trying to figure out if all his limbs were still part of his body. His chest rose and fell in hurried movements that felt too much like terrified hyperventilation, and he continued to hold Noa's hand as if his life depended on it.

She belonged to the first group, however. Her hair was somewhat disheveled, she was taking deep breaths, but her eyes shone with the intensity of someone who had just experienced a great adventure. Jisung wanted to memorize that vision, but he felt a tingling sensation on his skin that made him uncomfortable, so he tried to close his eyes and think of something else. The worst part was over. He should have checked what was all about before getting on, because he certainly wouldn't have set foot on Stunt Fall if he knew it had a free-fall section of fifty meters, but at least he was lucky enough to be next to Noa.

While he had been screaming, yelling out phrases in Korean and English, thinking his heart was going to burst out of his chest at any moment and that he was making a fool of himself in front of a beautiful girl, Noa had warned him that the worst moment was coming, and to close his eyes tightly. He had reacted two seconds too late, and by the time he saw the void before him, despite having shrunk down in his seat, his imagination did the rest. It was the longest moment of his life, and he couldn't even recover before the ride played another trick on him with a section where the seats spun on their axis and he ended up upside down.

He didn't know if he wanted to curse Felix for his love of roller coasters, or Abril for inviting him to the Warner.

And then, thinking about the brunette, he remembered the text he'd sent her just a couple of hours earlier, and that if she'd responded to the message, the first person to see the reply would be his brother. He froze for a moment, his breath catching in his throat. If his brother found out he'd been planning to meet a stranger and hadn't told him... He tried to get up abruptly, unaware that he was still strapped into the seat by the harness, and when he felt the straps against his chest, the heat fell over him, overwhelming his senses. He tried to move his hand, which had gone numb from his tight grip on Noa's, and gave her a frightened look.

Noa immediately realised what was going on, and gently slid her hand out of his, taking the back of it to leave a quick, friendly caress, trying to calm him down. She removed the safety bar that had allowed them to hold onto something during the hellish ride and got rid of her own harness before jumping down to solid ground and starting to undo Jisung’s. She removed rings and buckles with the speed of someone who knows how they work, and barely a minute later she had taken Jisung’s arm to walk him out, to one of the aisles closest to the Stunt Fall, the one Noa knew was less crowded. Jisung allowed her to lead him, his gaze clouding and his ribcage choking him, and he tried to focus on his breathing.

Jisung knew he was losing control of the situation, and the devastating realization of it made him even more uneasy. The heat wasn’t helping, with its syrupy stickiness clinging to him, and even though  the shirt he was wearing was quite thin—he could feel Noa’s palm on his arm—it stuck to his skin with sweat. The mask adhered to the curve of his mouth, damp and cloying, and he tried to take it off with a trembling hand while following Noa with shaky legs. He had no idea if it was all his anxiety side effects or also the feeling after going on the roller coaster, but he was shivering. And it was so hot, he genuinely thought he would faint right there. He would faint, and his brother would never find him, and no one would actually come looking for him.

“Hey, Sung,” Noa murmured, helping him lean his back against the wall, rubbing his arms, keeping him grounded, “can I call you Sung, mm?”

Jisung nodded, closing his eyes tightly, concentrating on inhaling, concentrating on exhaling. That was important. He knew regulating his breathing was important. But he also knew it was stupid for him to be having this completely dramatic reaction after everything had already happened. The normal thing, what would have happened to a normal person, was for him to be overwhelmed when he had no idea what the ride would be like. It didn't make sense like this. And while focusing on how pathetic he felt wasn't helping this attack end quickly, he couldn't help it. All the tricks he should have used had vanished from his head, his mind blank, like it always did when anxiety started to bubble in his chest and he wasn't in the comfort of his room, or with one of his members.

“Listen, you're doing great, okay?” He listened again and tried to focus his gaze on Noa's eyes, concentrating on where the chocolate brown turned into hazel, losing himself in the depths of her pupils. “But I'm going to need you to breathe with me, okay? Do you think you can do it?”

Jisung processed her words, frowning at the persistent dizziness he felt tingling at his temples, but nodded again. Noa had chosen a shaded area, and the wall was somewhat cool. He could do it; he wasn't losing his mind. He had to do it so he could apologize properly. A girl like Noa didn't deserve someone like him ruining a pleasant May afternoon with her friends. So he pretended the chill that crept over his skin had been from anxiety and not from her when he felt Noa's hand slide down to rest on his chest.

“Is that okay?” she asked, barely a whisper, and Jisung simply nodded.

It was sweet, gentle, the way she'd placed her hand on his shirt, on his skin, as if time had stopped, as if there was no rush, as if she'd done that routine many times before. Anyone with anxiety who had someone to lean on in moments like those was very lucky, but having Noa was a gift. Jisung hadn't thought of himself as a burden for her, not even when he was still sitting on the roller coaster. She'd made him think it was a team effort, that she needed to help him as much as he needed the help. His breath caught in his throat when he felt one of Noa's fingers brush against the skin of his chest, accidentally slipping through the hole between two buttons, and he closed his eyes.

She seemed not to notice, too worried about ensuring his well-being, and continued with her rehearsed choreography. She took the hand that hadn't been abused by the ride, gently grabbing it by the wrist, and placed it on her own chest, slowly raising it with a breath, guiding him to do the same. Jisung's eyelids fluttered, feeling more clearly how smooth the skin of her collarbone was, soft and delicate beneath his guitarist fingers, and he forced himself to mimic the calm rise and fall of her chest.

They didn't exchange a word, there was no need for it, until Jisung felt sane enough to look at her again. They were only inches apart, arms pressed together, her hands on his, and though he could only hear his heartbeat thundering in his ears, he felt hers, like a reflex, quicken beneath his fingertips.

Noa had beautiful eyes. Not only that, but the smile she offered hid a hypnotic tone that made him want to follow her wherever she wanted to go. For a moment, he considered doing so. For a moment, just an instant, he wanted to disappear with her, let her take him far away. But he couldn't. He was trapped, between the wall and her hands, between the wall and her gaze, and he didn't want to escape eihter. Not from her, at least.

Every second that passed was spent memorizing all the intermingled shades of mahogany and caramel in her irises, and when he realized he hadn't taken his eyes off hers even once, he was shocked. Jisung was incapable of maintaining eye contact for more than a few seconds with anyone.

“That's my girl! Now kiss him!”

The spell between them was broken as soon as Noa processed those Spanish words, and Jisung's body gravitated over hers, chasing after her when she moved slightly away from him. He stood a few inches from her, coming back to reality, and realized his chest was rising and falling more calmly.

“He was having a panic attack, you idiot," she whispered, her deep, strong tone contrasting with the gentleness of her hands against his skin.

The boy, a mess of walnut hair who had appeared unannounced, had a mischievous smile on his lips right until he heard the word panic—that wasn't that different in Spanish than in English, Jisung had been able to understand it—after which he approached them with a worried expression, furrowing his eyebrows.

“Do you need ice? Do you want us to find you somewhere cooler?” he asked, still speaking in a language Jisung didn't understand, dividing his attention between him and Noa.

“Please use English,” she asked, absentmindedly circling the backs of Jisung's hands with her thumbs. “He's a foreigner. And he's already had enough with what he just went through, he doesn’t need to worry about what we're actually saying.”

The boy nodded, turning somewhat serious, and put a safe distance between himself and Jisung, so as not to overwhelm him.

“Sorry.”

Then Noa turned to Jisung, her lips curling into an attentive smile, and asked, “Remember I mentioned my friends earlier?”

Jisung nodded, remembering every word he and Noa had exchanged.

“This is Lucas,” Jisung looked back at the boy, who had been standing apart from them, as if waiting for Noa to give him directions. He looked like he had just taken a nap, his hair sticking out in all directions, and Jisung noticed one particular strand dyed blonde near his bangs. “Her twin sister is the girl I told you about, the one who gets motion sickness on the roller coaster. She also has anxiety, so he’s asking if you need ice or a cooler place.”

“Huh, thanks, Lucas… Noa.” Jisung’s gaze flickered from one to the other, suddenly nervous. He wasn’t used to that kind of attention, all fixed on him, as if they were analyzing his every move. At least not this close. “I think I'm better.”

“Oh,” Noa murmured, clearing her throat and taking a step back. Jisung felt a chill at losing the warmth Noa's hands had provided, and he wanted to rest them on her skin again. He suppressed it. “Sure.”

“I'm grateful, really,” he repeated, realizing he'd just rejected her a bit rudely. Noa's gaze had fluttered, a little hurt, and Jisung hadn't liked it in the least. It wasn't fair, after everything she'd done for him. “But I should go, my friends…”

“Yeah, of course,” she affirmed, taking another step back, toward Lucas, and he approached her as well, like two planets orbiting on the same axis. Almost as if the Spanish boy's presence comforted her. “I understand, they must be worried.”

“I didn't mean to…”

“Hey, we made a deal,” she reminded him, forcing a smile on her rosy lips, “we're already off the Stunt. I'm glad I was of help.”

The deal was to hold hands tightly, Jisung thought. And now she was letting him go. That wasn't part of what they'd agreed to do.

“If he’s with his friends, we can always join groups…” Lucas suggested, placing a protective hand on Noa's waist. Feeling Lucas's arm around her back, however, Noa realized she was still holding Jisung's hat, pinned between her skin and her bra, and her eyes widened, reaching for her top to grab it and wanting to return it to its owner.

“Jisung!”

His heart skipped a beat at the sound of his name. At the end of the hall, striding forward, was Abril. He almost didn’t recognise her, with her hair loose and disheveled, and those oversized gray pants. She waved her hand, smiling as if her life depended on it, with the same bright vibe that had dazzled him the day before.

Jisung had no idea how she'd been able to recognize him, given how impeccably dressed he'd been at the event and how sickly he looked at that moment, but he supposed his ash-blonde hair and mask would have characterized him enough. Lucas spun around, frowning.

“Do you both know this guy?” he said, receiving an automatic smack from Noa for continuing to use Spanish. “Are you switching me for him? On my own birthday?”

“No, you moron,” Abril said, and Jisung found it odd to hear her voice in a softer tone, using English to communicate instead of the Korean they'd spoken the previous afternoon. “This is the guy I told you about yesterday, Han Jisung.”

“Ahh,” Noa said, holding the soft wool of Jisung's dark hat between her fingers, placing him in her memories, “the nice guy from Balmain. Honestly, I hadn't remembered the name, sorry.”

“It's okay,” he said, shrugging. For someone unfamiliar with Korean culture, understanding how names worked or remembering one must have been difficult. It certainly was for him with their Spanish names.

“I still don't get it,” Lucas interrupted.

“You were drunk yesterday,” Abril reminded him, reaching their level and bowing her head slightly towards Jisung. He did the same. “You made a terrible joke, let me remind you… Oh, jamón serrano. Ham in English. Ham, because of Han. He's one of the members of the group Carla likes.”

“Carla is another of our friends, but she didn't come today,” Noa informed Jisung, while Lucas nodded distractedly. He made an affirmative noise, too, indicating to his friends that he remembered, and was about to comment on the matter, searching for the right English words, but got completely cut off when someone shouted, again, behind him. And again, his name. Although this time it was his brother's unmistakable voice. Jisung grimaced and turned slowly, avoiding eye contact.

Instead, he directly faced the furrowed brows of Felix and his hyung, Chan, who had followed Jaehyun into the hallway, and they relaxed imperceptibly when they realized Jisung was okay—not so much when they realized he was surrounded by strangers.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Lucas said, putting himself between Jisung and the three Koreans who had just arrived, “do you even know each other?”

Jisung stood still for a moment, wondering who the question was directed at, but before he could process the situation and intervene to explain it, his older brother stepped forward, standing face to face with Lucas, and answered in broken English, “I’d like to know if you know him at all, because he doesn’t seem really comfortable in your presence, now does he?”

Jisung shifted uncomfortably at the sharp tension between the two boys, watching the incredulous looks of Felix and Chan, who were as stunned as he was to have witnessed such a scene. And especially coming from his manager, always so calm. Jaehyun never let his emotions, especially his anger, spill over into his actions. At least not if he could help it. But before Chan could jump in and try to resolve the misunderstanding, Abril and Noa burst into laughter behind them.

“Lucas, he looks so much like Jisung,” Noa said, gently punching Lucas in the chest, pulling him away from the manager a little. Her face was still gripped by almost uncontrollable laughter, but she managed to explain what had happened: “I'm sure he's his brother or something.”

“It's actually a little surprising that you didn't notice,” Abril added, tilting her head to the side, trying to suppress her smile behind Noa's shoulder. “Your protective cocky side came out, how cute.”

Jisung watched Lucas blush, muttering an apology to Jae, who accepted it with a nod, and stepped back so Jisung could join his friends. The first to approach when Jisung was close enough was his brother, putting his arm around his shoulders and asking him in Korean if he was okay. He explained that he hadn't been, but thanks to the girl he'd sat next to in the roller coaster, he was feeling better now. Noa smiled at the sound of her name, and Jisung found himself smiling back, adding that she'd been the perfect  companion for the ride.

“I'm glad you had someone up there,” Jaehyun stated, looking toward the attraction, which had started up again, and feeling guilty for not having ridden with his little brother. “Are you going to introduce us to the fashion girl and her friends?”

Jisung blinked, confused, thinking that Jae's next action as manager would be to rudely say goodbye, probably still angry, and send them back to the hotel, but he didn't let his brother think twice and nodded with a shy smile, turning to the three Spaniards.

“Guys, this is my brother and manager Han Jaehyun,” he began, placing his hand on the one Jae had on his shoulder. “Then there's Lee Felix,” he continued, allowing the blond to give one of his brightest smiles, “and Bang Chan hyung, our leader.”

Then he turned to his new friends and prayed he pronounced their Spanish names correctly. “I met Abril yesterday on the runway, because she was sitting next to me. Noa was the one who saved me a moment ago, and made me survive the Stunt Fall,” he paused, looking at the third member of the trio, and finished the introduction, “and Lucas, huh, the friend who thinks I'm jam.”

“Jamón,” he corrected. “Yummy, Spanish ham.”

“They're some of the ones that appear in the albums Carla buys,” Abril explained, turning to Noa and Lucas, who didn't seem to recognize them very well—it was true that with makeup they looked different, Jisung thought. “Stray Kids, for whom she had saved up for the concert in Madrid and couldn't go because it was canceled due to COVID.”

Noa nodded, as if she already knew all this information, but Lucas was staring at Chan.

“Luc, you're creepy,” Abril told him. “Stop, please.”

She saw Chan blush slightly under the Spaniard's insistent attention, but didn't say a word. Jisung couldn't quite tell if his leader was uncomfortable or nervous, but he knew Lucas's carefree nature was jarring him a bit.

“It just seems familiar, but I can't quite place him,” Lucas explained.

“Oh, I know!” Noa exclaimed. “It's from the Korean reggaeton music video! He's one of the ones where he plays the bodyguard!”

“Korean reggaeton?” Chan asked, confused.

“Maknae on top,” Abril replied, and their leader raised her eyebrows in understanding. “Carla, our Stay friend, plays us your songs if they say things in Spanish or have a Latin rhythm.”

“But Lucas recognizes Chan because there was a time when you wouldn't stop playing the video over and over again,” Noa informed, grinning sideways, waiting for the barely suppressed cry of alarm that Abril exclaimed when she was exposed.

“I'm a Seventeen fan, shush,” she confessed, but her face had turned a little red. “Anyway, I'm sure you don't like talking about these things.”

“Oh, we like knowing that people like our music, don't worry,” Felix said, smiling, enjoying the chaos. “I'm the one who says ‘Felix Navidad’ in a song called Christmas Eve.”

“And your name is Felix,” Lucas said, letting out a laugh, “Hilarious.”

“Jisung and Chan are the ones who write and produce all their songs,” Abril added.

“And Changbin,” Jisung added, his voice barely a whisper. He still couldn't believe they were actually having such a casual conversation with them.

“And Changbin,” Abril confirmed, smiling at him.

“Ugh, enough about work,” Noa interrupted, stretching out her arms and rotating her wrists, as if standing still for so long bothered her. “Do you want us to show you around? We can even go back for a walk around Madrid, if you want.”

The three of them automatically looked at Jaehyun, waiting for an answer, and he tried to keep a straight face, crumbling the moment Felix tugged on his shirt sleeve like a little kid, taking advantage of his adorable pout. Jae shrugged, deflating like a balloon as he exhaled a tired sigh, and Chan placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, but still couldn't help but smile victorious.

“You know what the limits are,” he said in Korean, looking at Jisung, as if he were the one to blame for everyone's enthusiasm. “And that you don't know these people. They could be fans, they could be stalkers.”

“Mr. Han, if I may,” Abril interrupted softly, in Korean, approaching slowly and timidly, as if she didn't want to get Jisung into trouble. “It's true that I'm a fan of their work and I'm familiar with the K-pop world, but we're not sasaengs.”

Jaehyun made the attempt to interrupt her, but Abril was quicker. “I can give you my word, and speak on behalf of my friends, that we simply want to make a good impression of Spain on your first visit to the country. If you don't trust me, which I understand, I can show you the content I make on my social media, as well as Noa's, and even provide documentation certifying that everything I've said is true.”

“I have no idea what Abril said, but I want you to know that nothing I've proposed is meant maliciously,” Noa added, approaching them. “We just want to have a good time because Jisung is a wonderful person, and I'd really like to spend more time with him and introduce him to my friends.”

Jaehyun stared at the two girls for a long moment, deciding how sincere they were.

“And your Stay friend?”

“Carla has been in New York for a couple of weeks, attending talks about her research,” Abril said. “She'll be jealous when she finds out, but she won't act crazy. She has more important things to think about than obsessing over the daily lives of idols, no matter how much of a fan she is.”

The battle of hard, unwavering brown stares between the Spaniard and his older brother lasted a few more moments, Abril maintaining a sincere smile on her curved lips and her back tense as a bow, while Jaehyun debated whether to accept her words or not. Finally, he extended his hand.

“I'm going to need you to sign NDA’s,” he said slowly, his chest warming as he watched the joy gradually light up Jisung's face. “You're a kind girl, and you seem sincere, so I'll respect that.”

“Thank you very much,” she replied, accepting the compliment with a nod.

“I already took care of investigating your social media last night, after seeing you talking to Jisung, anyway,” he added, with a mischievous smile.

Abril burst out laughing and turned to her friends to explain what they had just discussed. Felix hugged Jisung, excited, but Jisung waited to see the way Noa's eyes lit up as she processed the conversation between Jaehyun and Abril from her friend's lips, in her own language.

Jisung liked Noa. He liked the way the corners of her eyes crinkled when she smiled, and the soft curve of her arms when she hugged them close to her body. He liked the way she had a habit of rolling her knees and wrists every now and then, or the mischievous look her smile took on when you least expected it. And he liked knowing that even though there were still a lot of details about her to discover, he would have a little more time to uncover them little by little.

Lucas whistled, drawing everyone's attention, and said, “I think the manager is going to need three more contracts.”

Jisung turned to him and saw three more people approaching them behind him. He assumed they were more of Noa's friends, given the familiarity with which Lucas had spoken about them, and Noa herself confirmed it as soon as she noticed Jisung's questioning gaze on her.

One of the girls was undoubtedly Lucas's twin, her blond hair falling behind her and the same curve in her smile. The only boy, also blond, had his arms covered in tattoos and walked a step behind them, completely in his head. Walking in the middle, approaching with her phone in her hand and the terrifying glare of an angry mother, was a Latina woman wearing a pretty blue summer dress. And she was the first to open her mouth.

“Oh, you think it's so funny!” she exclaimed in Spanish, seemingly unaware that there were other people with them. “Get off the Stunt, disappear, and then show no sign of life! I don't know what you want your phone for! You always have it in your hand, but you never use it when you're supposed to!”

The blond boy behind her quietly cleared his throat, hiding a smile behind his fist, and the soft noise seemed to bring the angry Latina out of her head. She stopped, almost swallowing all the words she'd been about to blurt out, and looked at Jisung, her gaze softening instantly and her lips curling in a gesture of welcome.

“Hey, guys. Sorry, I didn't see you.”

“In English, Nea,” Lucas said quietly, deciding not to make any mistakes—choosing his battles wisely when it came to his oldest friend.

“Oh, in English then,” she repeated, switching languages. “Sorry for the show. It's just that they disappeared and we couldn't find them.”

“Don't worry,” Chan said before anyone could say anything.

“Who are you, then?” she asked, and Jisung knew the motherly attitude wasn't a facade, because all her friends seemed to be circling around her like ducklings chasing after their mama duck.

“Jisung,” Noa began, “the guy Abril met yesterday sat next to me at the Stunt because they were odd numbers. Chan and Felix, along with him, are part of the K-pop group Carla likes, and Jaehyun,” she paused, looking at Jisung’s brother, waiting for his approval to know she’d pronounced his name correctly, “is their manager. And Sung’s older brother. I mean, Jisung’s older brother.”

Jisung couldn’t help but smile at the nickname.

“Oh,” whispered the blonde girl, sheltering with her twin brother, “welcome to Spain.”

“This is Isabel, Lucas’s sister,” introduced the Latina with a thick American accent, taking a step forward and indicating the names of the newcomers with her hand. “My name is Atenea, and this is Miguel.” The tattooed boy made a military salute with his fingers. Then he crossed his arms behind Atenea’s figure, as if he were her bodyguard, and Jisung jumped when she clapped her hands in the air. “So! Oh, sorry, Jisung,” she said, suppressing a smile, “I’ve had a couple of coffees today, I’m full of energy. So, do you guys want to go for a walk with us around Madrid? It’s Lucas and Isa’s birthday, and we’re going out to celebrate.”

“No walks downtown,” Jaehyun said, shaking his head.

“Then we can stay at the Warner, right?” Atenea waited for the manager to nod, with a victorious smile, and added, “Any friend of my girls is a friend of ours, and that means you’re already part of the group. Maybe I should offer my condolences; we’re a bit chaotic.”

“No more than all of these guys when they’re together,” Jaehyun replied, relaxing a little at Atenea’s words. Jisung understood why his brother seemed more willing to trust her: she was the force keeping all her menaces under control, just like Chan. People like them could always be trusted.

“You need to discuss the NDA’s with him,” Abril told her, and Atenea gave him a sweet smile.

“We'll talk about NDA’s, then,” she agreed. “Do you do this often?”

“It's a first.”

Jisung couldn't help but smile when he saw Jae getting along well with Athena, and even less so when he saw Noa and Abril surreptitiously high-five each other. He got carried away when each of them linked arms with his, asking him what he thought of the amusement park so far, and what he'd like to do next.

“I know a food stand where you can get something to get over the shock of the Stunt Fall,” Lucas interrupted, joining them almost immediately, unable to stay quiet for long. “Your friend Felix is ​​still a little pale.”

Jisung widened his smile, knowing his best friend would appreciate a sweet drink to recover from his fainting spell, and also the thoughtfulness of the Spaniard. He glanced back quickly, seeing that Chan had made his way next to Atenea and Jaehyun, both of them trying to draw Miguel into the conversation so he wouldn't be left alone—he didn't seem to know much English.

Felix, who was indeed still a little pale, had approached Isabel, who had fallen behind a bit, and had just whispered, “Happy birthday.”

Jisung could get used to it.

ㅤㅤwith love ,　© mars.　do not copy, translate, repost, share this work as yours on other platforms or feed it to the ai !　🔭 ˚.

[ikktygcto]

hiiii

your blog is so pretty! i just wanted to know if you write for extra member!reader and if you write scenarios for all members in one post, like there's one prompt and people write versions of it for all members...

hi nonnie! thank you and i would most definitely do both of them! i plan on making ot8 scenarios soon when i have an idea in my head!

[ikktygcto]

54 already? welcome to my sweet little community guys, it's only been less than three weeks, and my community has been growing faster than ever! hugs and kisses for every one of my 54 followers~

[ikktygcto]

Hey! I have a soft Hyunjin fic idea ....

The reader is hanging out at Hyunjin’s place on a rainy day, and while they’re distracted, he starts sketching them. Later, they find his sketchbook filled with drawings of themselves—little moments he’s captured over time. It’s a quiet, cozy realization that he’s been in love with them all along. Soft, best-friends-to-lovers vibes with rain as the perfect backdrop. (I love ur work so much. 'accidental' was beautiful ( and my fav hehhe)❣️)

omg my first ask and request! first of all, thank you for reading my work! im glad that one of my pieces is your favourite :))). ok, back to your request, i really love it. sooo much. i will gladly do it - it will be published in a few days! i love you nonnie 💋

[ikktygcto]

MY LOVEEEEEEE pt.2

HAN — SKZ-TALKER GO! S.5 EP.07 MACAU

[ikktygcto]

MY LOVEEEEEEE

HAN / SKZ TALKER: GO! S5EP2

[ikktygcto]

not your doll - (bf!bang chan x reader)

pairing: bf!bang chan x reader

summary: chan comes home upset from the latin american leg of the dominate tour.

genre: reverse comfort, idol!au, angsty, mentions of exhaustion, lots of crying, skz deserve better. reader comforts channie, mentions of delusion, mentions of eating and drinking

a/n: yall who think what happened in brazil is funny, or think it was 'just a joke' or 'fans showing support' get tf off my blog. i don't wanna see or talk to anyone who thinks what happened was okay. leave skz alone, leave chris alone. that man is not your punching bag, he's not responsible for fixing all your fucking problems, keeping everyone happy, or in charge of anyone's but his own happiness. that shit you gotta do yourself. this is so fucking disappointing, i'm ashamed to call myself a stay at the moment. let chris live his damn life and let the kids do the same. fuck yall 'stays'. if you were a real stay you wouldn't be doing this shit.

i stand with skz.

skz masterlist | skz prompt list

"Love?" You call softly, peeking around the bedroom door frame. "Did you wanna come and eat something?"

All you get in response is a muffled 'no' and the sound of shuffling as Chan shifts slightly on the bed. The warm lamplight from the bedside tables spill across his back, highlighting the skin in a rosy, haloed glow.

You sigh and pad over to him softly, sitting on the bed. "I know you might not feel like it, but you need some good food after all that travelling."

Chan shakes his head again, further mussing his unbrushed hair. The curls are squashed and fluffy from him burrowing his head into the pillows, but he doesn't seem to care. Not once has he lifted his head to take a breath of air, and you sigh and push his head gently to the side to do it for him.

He turns his head away, facing the opposite direction; you can hear the shudder from his lungs as he gulps in the fresh coldness of the air; you'd set the thermostat colder, just as he likes it, but he hadn't seemed to take any notice.

You sigh again, running a gentle hand down the soft, albeit slightly dry skin of his back. His duffel bag and suitcase is still in the corner of the room, the zip on his bag half undone as if he'd had the intention of unpacking, but he hasn't.

You'd left him to sort himself out and shower before coming to eat, but it seemed he'd just stripped himself of his outfit and tossed himself on the bed.

Couldn't say you blamed him.

Chan speaks then, low and muffled from the pillow. "I need to go to the company."

"It hasn't even been twenty minutes since you've been home, love," you chide him gently. "Just rest., hmm? All of that can come tomorrow. It doesn't look like you can even move right now..."

Chan groans and burrows his head further into the pillows; you take a soft fistful of his hair and tug it lightly, guiding his head to the side. Your heart lurches.

Chan is crying.

His makeup is smudged; you immediately rest your hands on his shoulders. They're tense as rocks. A black streak of eyeshadow has smeared itself across the white pillowcase, as well as some of his concealer; he doesn't seem to care, and neither do you.

"Channie, my love," you say as gently as you can. You can't hide the worry on your face. "What's wrong?"

That's a useless question. You know exactly what's wrong.

He sits up suddenly, as if to get up, but he collapses on his knees, digging them into the soft sheets. He throws his hands out.

"It's not fair," he cries desperately. "I do everything I can to make things work, and then it all just gets thrown to the side... I can't even open my mouth anymore without my words being twisted..."

You sit there, eyes wide and bewildered, watching this outburst. It's so oddly unlike him to do this, but you know exactly what he's talking about.

"I- The kids, too, they have to deal with all of this, I couldn't wait for us to leave because of what happened at the hotel... They were taking videos of us, videos of one of the kids just standing outside on the balcony, minding his own business, and I couldn't sleep all night because of them chanting, I just-" He hiccups, a tear spilling from each eye like a shattered crystal.

"I just want it all to go right, but it doesn't, and no matter what I do it's not enough," he keels over then, and you pull him into your lap. He lets his lower half kneel over the bed, his face buried in your thighs.

Your vision starts to blur, and a tear drops into his hair, but neither of you take notice. "Channie..."

"I chose this life, Y/n, I chose all of this, I thought I could handle it but I'm not so sure anymore. I want to be happy, and perform without worrying about all of this, I want everyone to just leave me alone..." He's crying freely now, hands gripping your hips as his back shakes, and it's all you can do not to start crying yourself.

That sadness is quickly taken over by a wave of disapproval and anger, anger at the people who dare treat your lover like this, treat his group like performing monkeys at a circus, to be poked and prodded at.

How dare they.

It's not fair. He's right. And you know you can't fix it, make it all better, kiss it healed like you have so many times before. And it's that feeling of helplessness, that overwhelming powerlessness, that makes you lean down and whisper fiercely in Chan's ear.

"Listen to me," you whisper. "It doesn't matter who did it, it doesn't matter if they thought it was right. I can't sit here and tell you I can fix it, because I can't, and neither can you, because it's not your problem, it will never be your problem. You are not their toy. Channie, my love, all you need to do is keep going. That's it, without looking back.

"Forget about those people who pretend to be Stays, who are nothing more than obsessed delusional idiots. I know it's hard. They are so completely and utterly lost in their own worlds, and you can't tie yourself into knots to fix them, because it's impossible.

"I know it hurts, love, and I know it's frustrating, especially for the kids too. None of you deserve to be treated like that, like you have to be filmed and screamed at and all of those other things-"

"But if I don't let them, then they all start hating me," his eyes are teary, utterly exhausted with emotion.

"Chris, you are not a doll," you say firmly, cupping his face. "You are not responsible for everyone's happiness. You are responsible for your own joy. So are the kids. I know you feel like you have to take the weight of the world on your shoulders, but it doesn't mean that you have to take everyone's bullshit alongside it too...

"You are a musician, an artist, not a miracle worker or some sort of magician that can take everyone's troubles away or perform to everyone's unrealistic standards. And as for those idiots who stalked you outside your hotel, JYP is taking measures to deal with it. And he says it's fine if you want to take a break for a while."

"I don't want to," he says quietly, inhaling your scent as you lean down to kiss the crown of his head. "I just wanted to be home with you, and I am."

"Love..."

"Please," he says, quieter. His tears have slowed. "I don't wanna talk about this anymore. It makes me angry, and being angry is exhausting. I'm already exhausted."

You sigh and crack a tiny smile, tapping his cheek lightly. Already you can see his resilience taking effect. Nothing keeps him down for long, your Chan.

"I'll let it go if you promise to come and eat something," you say. "Otherwise, I'm gonna call the kids to spend the night here and they'll eat all of the food I made for you-"

"Okay, okay," he groans, heaving himself upright. "I'm coming. Please don't call them, I've lost enough sleep trying to keep them all in line."

You laugh and kiss him. His lips are slightly chapped, and you tsk softly into the kiss as he stands up, taking you with him.

"Y/n," he murmurs, burning hands slipping to your waist.

"Thought you were too tired," you giggle.

He doesn't respond, instead tugging you closer. You reluctantly pull back and poke his side, making him gasp.

He pulls back too, fighting a sheepish look as you stare pointedly at the bathroom door. "Go shower, then come eat. Now."

He rolls his eyes and steals another kiss to your cheek as he heads towards the bathroom. "Fine."

Chuckling, you make your way to the door, heading to the kitchen. Your feet slow at the door threshold, and you turn to look back at Chan as he busies himself with pulling out a fresh set of clothes from his drawers. Even exhausted and upset, he's still beautiful. Your heart sinks a little as you watch the tear tracks on his face glisten under the lamplight, but you don't bring it up. Instead-

"Channie," you say softly.

He looks up, a black hoodie in one hand.

Your voice is gentle, almost hesitant. "It'll be okay, you know that, right?"

He nods quietly, solemn as you've ever seen him. "I know."

You feel your lips curving into a soft but sad smile. "I love you."

He blinks. "I love you more."

"That's not possible," you say teasingly as you turn and head towards the kitchen.

His laugh echoes through the house.

a/n: none bc i'm fucking pissed.

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[ikktygcto]

AWWWWWWWWW

for his little girl...

...the one where seungmin feels insecure about not being the best dad, but his sweet girl assures him that he is

"there." seungmin mutters as he finishes making your daughter's braids. the little girl turns her head around, looking at the two lopsided pigtails, unsure of how to react. she brings her hand up to one of them, trying to align it, only for the rubberband to come undone in her tiny fingers. 

seungmin sighs at this, pulling her back by the waist and attempting to gather up the loose strands of hair once again. your husband was everything a child could ever ask for in a father. he was playful yet strict. he was never too overwhelming when it came to handling her but he always made sure your little girl knew he was always there for her. 

it wasn't easy to handle the 3 year old but seungmin had actively worked on it. he learnt to bake brownies from felix upon seeing her daughter's face light up when she would have them. they weren't as good as his, sure, but he would never find that out because she always made sure to tell him how much she adored her father's brownies, even if they were a little dry. 

he noticed how much she would like it every time she and hannie would sing their favourite anime openings together, so he made sure to find out their names and blast them in the car for your little one to sing her heart out to. 

kim seungmin tried his best for his little girl but sometimes he felt he wasn't good enough for her. he didn't deserve her. that her smile was too pure and innocent to be directed at him, that it wasn't his jokes that broke her into fits of giggles and it most certainly wasn't the sight of his face that made her leap from joy the second she saw him at the school gates. 

"ish okay dada. you read me tha good storiesh and sing all tha pretty songs otay?" she says and seungmin swears he would've sobbed then and there had he not had the slightest bit of control in him. it's the way she says it like she read his mind. the way she beams at him with her brightest, slightly crooked toothed smile that seungmin thinks, "oh. i am so loved by my little girl" and almost feels guilty for having doubted it in the first place. so he just bites his lip and nods. 

"yeah...i think i'll do just that sweetheart."