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augustdiakosâ:
*
Defiance in her eyes and she is not bending, her shoulders are straight and she will stay in this with him for however long it takes. Confusion sweeps through her mind, and her eyebrows knit maybe living in the woods for how long she did, did not provide her with the latest gossip and news. Kobaloi are still very far from her reality so she chalks up to wishing to escape their dreaded family name, to start anew and burn the family home down. Itâs the wolf that whispers to her that sheâs better off, for her brothers, to feast on their parents and to not become human again until the walls are stained red. She shakes the violent thought of her mind and tries to ground herself. âWhat is it?â Asking of his new name and willing to accept what he wishes to go by now. She understands why he returned for Ari and she is grateful that he was able to do what she couldnât, shame and guilt gnaw on her bones. âThen letâs start. Iâm not going anywhere.â Her chin raises, boldness in her frame and fight. It will take the hounds of hell to drag her away again. âIâm staying. I bought Pandoraâs lore and I live above. I came back for you guys and I wonât leave.â
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August is stubborn. Ikaros will give her that much, he gestured for her to follow and led the way to the bar before he poured himself a nice tall glass of shitty wine. He didnât get one for her, she could serve herself. âIkaros Theoinos.â The trickster offered, the epithet would undoubtedly be lost on her but that mattered very little to him. He found a seat on the couch and crossed one leg over the other, his wine held precariously between his fingers. This was a tired display of familial loyalty, one he didnât particularly care for but knew that Ari undoubtedly needed. âHave you been to see Ari yet?â Ikaros asked instead, the fact that sheâd procured a bookstore didnât interest him. He could buy it out from under her and leave her with nothing, bewitch her mind, torture her thoughts - but he did none of these things. For all of her faults and failings, and for all the walls the kobalos had managed over years of reincarnation - a piece of his past still remembered her. Remembered the older sister that soothed him after a nightmare, who snuck him extra snacks from her allowance. It was enough to keep her safe from him, but nothing more.
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lysanderxreisâ:
luciankayamesâ:
âI will do no such thing.â Lucian scoffs but he canât help but smirk as he looks from Ikaros to Lysander and back again. He sort of thinks the other man gets how he operates. Kobalos seem to be deceptive by nature, if the two before him are anything to go by. Granted, Lysander had at least chastised him a little, told him that heâd shown him too much. Versus Ikaros showing him something incredibly extreme the first time theyâd been alone together.
He sort of liked that though, the difference between them.
âSo weâre talking technical immortality.â Itâs a measured statement as he tries to piece every bit of information he has on what they are together as he sits up on his elbows and nods for Lysander to come sit. âExcept you can die. So immortality, but thereâs some wacky reincarnation bullshit, am I getting that right?â @lysanderxreisâ
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This suddenly felt like a set up, and Lysander nearly turned tail and ran. Against his better judgement, he instead made his way over, settling down across from the two of them. Ikaros had more on him at this point in his life, but he didnât want to point that out just yet. âI feel like Iâm in trouble for something I havenât even done yet,â he said finally, looking between Ikaros and Lucian. Their small talk was just that, but Lucian of course had more straightforward questions. âWas I here for a history lesson on kobaloi that Ikaros couldâve answered for you?â He huffed out a laugh, fixing Lucian with his blue gaze now, âSomething like that. Basically, weâre like cockroaches â canât get rid of us. Bit of a bitch when you are in the middle of a war and come back when itâs over.âÂ
@ikarosxtheoinosâ
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Blue eyes fixed on Lysander as the other kobalos sat across from him, seeing him was always nostalgic. They were a far cry from Strongoli, where Spartacus had made his final stand against Crassus, and yet still after all this time they were together again. The look in Ikarosâ eye is a distant one, hazy from an afternoon in the shade spent sipping wine with Lucian. âYouâve done plenty.â Ikaros reminded, his voice light before he drew his glass to his lips once more. âA shame about lost that last one,â Ikaros lamented, he wondered how differently their subsequent reincarnations might have been had they not both perished. âLucian still thinks that vampires are more interesting than us, he has a whole wattpad dedicated to them. Iâll send you some links, racey stuff.â Ikaros mused lightly before he looked to Lucian, âItâs magic that keeps us in this world, without it we just die.â @luciankayamesâ
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aristondiakosâ:
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âDid you ever get the chance to meet her?â It doesnât sound like it, but Ikaros seems to know a lot about the woman, and it has Ari curious. It seems sad to him, then, to be made the villain of tales when she had in fact been the victim. Heâs not sure how anyone couldâve come out of that remaining kind, but it sounds as if she did. Is that the way people would see him? Something monstrous? Ari hopes not. He would never willingly want to hurt anyone, but that likely matters little when face to face with something that could kill you. He smiles, a light blush rising against his cheeks at Ikarosâs sentiment, though he has a hard time in believing the validity of the words himself. Ariston hadnât been anything special, before he became a wyvern. âIâve never felt like this before.â Not just the magical changes, but even his own comfort level in his skin. More confident, maybe. More willing to stand up for himself. The vampire in the side street. That was something he never couldâve done before, both practically and mentally. âIt kind of feels like I was always meant to be this way. Is that corny to say?â
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âI went to great lengths to avoid her and her siblings.â Ikaros mused, âThey were the hero sort and I... Well, I wasnât.â Isnât. âA great deal of my power lays within remaining undiscovered, a secret. If they do not know the name for what I am, or the nature of my design, then they canât undo my magic.â The trickster explained simply, he figured it was harmless enough to tell Ari this much, though perhaps stagnancy was merely making him complacent. There was a time where heâd have defended such information with his life, being around his brother had made him.. Softer, to say the least. âOur fates are all but predetermined, if you feel this way itâs probably because it was always inside of you as you said. Just waiting for the day when it would be released.âÂ
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augustdiakosâ:
*
She looks at him and she sees her brother, she recognizes the hellion who banished a branch at all the wood fae and charged headfirst into imaginary battles, he had a wicked imagination at a young age and it is that childhood serenity that she clung too at times when she was more wolf than human, more hungry beast than a girl with a summer name. When she catches the way he looks at her, itâs as if an entire abyss sits between them and she is nothing but a cold stranger and it feels so wrong, the wolf attempts to crawl up her throat with its snapping jaw but it is to the blue of his eyes that allows her to cling onto her humanity, even with shaking hands. He dismisses it as if it is nothing, as if her struggle could have been a different way and she wants so desperately to have a place to belong, here with her brothers but she can not find it in his hues.
âI want my brother back.â There is a pout that dresses her lips, a slight jut of her jaw and she is upset that Ari is accepted and she is not, but she is not allowed to think that way because it was their kind hearted brother who stayed behind and faced the worst of the monsters who raised them. Of course, he is allowed and she is not. She is the beast that stalked the woods and woke each day to a bloody muzzle.
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As hedonistic as Ikaros was, he had a heart. It was a bleeding one, in fact. He loved too much, too dramatically, too drastically. It was this flaw that drove him to the bring of madness time and time again, methodically obsessed with those heâd tethered himself to until cutting strings and flinging himself into the void came as a second nature. She was looking for a man that barely existed, Ikaros was not the boy sheâd known - that kid lived in a fantasy land of confusion and neglect. The things he remembered about August were bright, warm. When it came to big sisters she was one of the better ones, everything that had happened to draw her away couldnât have been her fault - but neither was it Ikarosâ responsibility. Ari had nearly died, but she was strong, and could stand on her own without leaning on him for support. âI changed my name: first and last. I left as soon as I turned eighteen and Ari was the only reason I ever looked back. You want your brother? You donât even know who I am.âÂ
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luciankayamesâ:
âCan I run something by you?â It feels so good to spend a majority of this time at the villa again, like things have returned back to normal. Most of his time is still at Void, he takes running the place and potentially revamping it (pun intended) it, very seriously. Theyâre back to their comfortable mornings when on days off, the days where he doesnât bother going into the bar until late. He looks up from where heâs reading as Ikaros enters the living room before closing his book entirely. His reread of Carmilla could wait, itâs not like he didnât know it practically word for word. @ikarosxtheoinosâ
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It was almost ten oâclock in the morning so naturally Ikaros was already four mimosas deep when he sauntered into the living room, characteristically half-dressed as he made his way from the kitchen to the couch. A pitcher of the alcoholic beverage in one hand and a pair of glasses in the other. âFor the last time, yes, you can convert one of the spare rooms into a red room.â Ikaros sighed good-naturedly before he poured Lucian a glass and sat himself down with his own, âThis is your home too, itâs big. You donât have to ask. Just do.â He drew the glass to his lips and took a sip before blue eyes met the blonde across from him. âThere better not be another apocalypse, itâs not even noon and you know how I feel about bad news when Iâm still mostly sober. What is it?â
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lysanderxreisâ:
luciankayamesâ:
Itâs not the best scheme heâs ever come up with, but considering he still thought he came up with his best ideas while inebriated and that was no longer a thing he could do, it would have to do. It was simple really, invite Lysander to the vineyard, be lounging around with Ikaros in the gazebo, watch them interact, and make it up as he went from there. Any anxiety that came with it, heâd just simply take it as it came or, worst case scenario, make a dramatic exit. âSo, kobaloi, huh?â Lucian looks between the two of them from where heâs lounging on the gazeboâs bench, glass of sour wine in hand and he sits up as something occurs to him. âSo how the hell old are you two anyways?â @lysanderxreisâ @ikarosxtheoinosâ
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Lysander had been avoiding Ikaros, simply because he knew that in order for him to actually make good on his ability to leave he and Lucian alone. What he didnât expect, though, was an invite from Lucian, and ending up in Ikarosâ winery. Perhaps now, he realized he could get a good gauge on their relationship. Crossing his arms over his chest, he fixed the vampire with an amused look. âYou donât give up, do you? Itâs been too long to remember an age, but well before the beginning of the past two millennium.â
@ikarosxtheoinosâ
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While Lucian so far hadnât demonstrated much of an interest in voyeurism, Ikaros was open to just about anything the vampire suggested. A bottle of wine between them, a comfortable spread of blankets and pillows beneath them, the vineyard around them - it was nice. The sort of romantic scene that bordered on nostalgia for the trickster. Lysanderâs approach came as a surprise, though what surprised Ikaros further was the familiar greeting that fell from Lucianâs lips at Lysanderâs approach. This was all the vampireâs doing, clever bastard was cheeky. And horny, apparently. âNo- donât tell him anything!â Ikaros joked as he smiled fondly in Lysanderâs direction and gestured to him with a half empty glass of wine. âHeâll use every bit of it against you, I promise.â The trickster mused further before he looked knowingly from Lucian to Lysander. âJoin us.â @luciankayamesâ
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lysanderxreisâ:
Lysander huffed out a breath, sitting up to pull out the banded ring. Placing it into Ikarosâ palm, he rose an eyebrow, âI have the other. Theyâre twinned, made by a witch of Hecate. If we are able to know â well, by the time we regain our memories, perhaps there will be a way for you to find me, and I, you.â He waited a few more seconds, âI am not a gentle soul, and neither of us are meant to avoid trouble.â He already knew that his deaths would be violent, and he didnât want his own curse of violence to draw them too far away from one another.
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Ikaros rolled onto the other and straddled Lysanderâs waist as he held the ring up and close to his eyes to inspect it under the dim candlelight as if he was appraising its worth. âBit gaudy, isnât it?â Ikaros mused before he immediately slipped it onto his finger, adding to the collection of rings that already dawned his slender hands. âI love it.â The trickster said shortly after as a wry grin crossed his lips and he sealed his words with a kiss pressed firmly against Lysanderâs lips. âI will have to find the ring I assume when I come into my memories though Iâm not above grave robbing hopefully I die somewhere where my corpse wonât be looted.â Perhaps he should store it somewhere instead of wearing it around, though there was no harm in letting it rest on his person for the time being. They were together now, heâd find somewhere safe to store it soon. Somewhere no one but him would ever think to search for it. âDionysus did not choose us because weâre dull, our village has always been hated. But we are free, we always have been.âÂ
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augustdiakosâ:
*
She listens to him, and the irrational part of her brain digs its claws into her heart, for it seemed as if he cared about everyone before her. She understands she hasnât been there but there is a large part of her that wants to matter and be cared for by those who dearest to her. She knows Andreas can push buttons without meaning so she attempts to shake it off and brush it under the rug, an unfortunate trait she inherited from their parents. âThe staff? You have staff?â She cocks an eyebrow, what the fuck Andreas who are you. Her parents always pushed at their children to excel, to be something great and nothing could ever measure up so August gave up on being their imagery of ideal a long time ago and ran in the opposite direction. She enters his home and sees grander everywhere and confusion sets in greatly. âHow did you acquire all this?âÂ
âYeah, I was bit one night. It was kind of why I left, I didnât want to eat my family and I am far from having the wolf under control.â She ignores the boyfriend comment as she is not sure how to response, should she apologize sarcastically for inconveniencing this boyfriend that she never met by simply being who she is? Knowing that nothing good would come if she spoke with ire, she tamps that instinct down.Â
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âI have a lot of people that work for me.â Ikaros commented simply, he wasnât exactly excited to see August. Sheâd taken off when he was still young, a kid with no memory of what he was who could make people see, feel, smell, taste, or hear anything that he wanted. A kid who had intrusive thoughts, memories, and nightmares of things that he couldnât have possibly understood. A kid mislabelled as sick by parents who lacked any capacity to understand him. So August was a werewolf, explained a lot, still, Ikaros didnât have much attention to the woman standing in front of him. They had their childhood together, but Ikaros had had dozens of childhoods with dozens of families, he knew how this was going to go. âTough.â He said with a shrug, âWhat do you want with me?â
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'Cause they say home is where your heart is set in stone It's where you go when you're alone It's where you go to rest your bones It's not just where you lay your head It's not just where you make your bed As long as we're together, does it matter where we go?
@lysanderxreis & @luciankayames
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lysanderxreisâ:
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Lysander smiled, though he pressed a kiss to Ikarosâ temple instead, âNot your death, more my own. But I do know that our souls are one,â he said quietly, fingers trailing down the otherâs back. There was nothing that would stop Lysander from defending their lives, but finding out how to ensure that they were not separated by lifetimes was another thing. âWhat would you say if I said I had a gift for you?â He murmured, fingers dipping lower on Ikarosâ back, âThere is little else I have to give you, for Iâve already given you all of me, but I think Iâve found a way for you to find me, if you ever need to. In this life, or the next.â
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A gift? If Lysander did not have Ikarosâ attention before then he certainly did now. Ikaros quirked his brow at Lysander as the other kobalos drew him in that much further. âI would say that I am interested.â Ikaros was not fool enough to think that their patron would always provide for them, the power they were given was a rare gift and it was their duty now to carry it out into the world and do with as they saw fit. But there was no guarantee that when they were gone they would ever find one another again, and yet, Lysander whispered of such power. A power that excited Ikaros greatly. âHow?â Ikaros questioned, already weary that Lysander was out consorting with witches or worse.
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lysanderxreisâ:
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As the scene around them unfolded, Lysanderâs laughter rang throughout the bathhouse. The madness and fury that they unleashed had their captive audience shouted and reacted to the show they put on. Life was a stage, and he and Ikaros were the stars. With his mask splattered with blood, he dropped it down beside Ikarosâ. He pulled the other kobalos into his arms, placing a hard kiss onto his mouth as a promise for what was to come. âAfter you,â he crooned, smirking as they left the bathhouse, red water splashing up onto the tiles. When they were free of the others and back in the safety of their shared space, Lysander pressed Ikaros back against the door, not bothering to wait for their bedroom. Once theyâd had their way with each other, Lysander finally began to speak once more. His arm was curled around Ikaros, the other behind his bed as he looked up at the ceiling, âI was thinking about death. And how my soul will find yours once our lives end and begin again.â
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Dionysusâ promise stood between them. It sounded grand and romantic - eternity unfettered by the mortal foil of death. Some things were too good to be true but theyâd earned this boon from their patron and who were they to question the word of a God? This was Dionysus. âDo you spend much time thinking about my death?â Ikaros questioned, the heat of his chest rose and fell as his breathing slowly returned to normal, he curled against Lysanderâs frame and rested his head against the crook of the manâs neck. âMaybe I should be concerned.â The trickster pointed out playfully before he turned azure eyes towards hues that mirrored his own. It felt foreign still that the world could ever change, that there would ever be a time when it was not just this.Â
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lysanderxreisâ:
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Lysander laughed, winking at Ikaros before he pulled his mask down once more. He followed after the other kobalos, humming. The bath house itself held nice memories, especially the one where Ikaros had rode him until the break of dawn and he swore the baths were actually going to be cold. The taller of the two slipped into the baths first, holding the door open for Ikaros. At once, he began to glamour those surrounding the one they were after, giving them a hint of privacy as they made their way through. Though what they were seeing was a play in their minds, theyâd witness an actual murder instead. âI think weâve found our audience.â
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âEuripides?â Ikaros said as he stopped to appreciate Lysanderâs handiwork, a hand moved to caress the side of the tricksterâs handsome mask. âYou remembered.â He remembered himself and the reason why they were here and produced the blade heâd kept buried in the tied waist of his peplos. The eyes of their mark flashed with fear as the masked assailants appeared through the steam of the bathhouse, laughing with a jovial glee as daggers danced through the dark. Crimson blood splattered the walls, the waters of the warm bath ran red. Everyone screamed but the kobaloiâs manic laughed reverberated throughout the chamber until there was nothing left but the two of them stood over the barely recognizable corpse of the hack whoâd attempted to take Ikarosâ part. The tricksterâs eyes were wide with amused delight, his mask clattered to the ground. âWe should probably get out of here, hm?âÂ
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aristondiakosâ:
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âThatâs not what the mythos behind her story tells.â Heâs not arguing it, though, only making note of the fact that the one most commonly retold paints a different light. Ariston figures that Ikaros likely knows more about it than any human scholars, though. âI guess so.â More than one Hydra, he can see how that couldâve been dangerous, if that power fell to someone of a worse nature than what Ikaros claims Scylla was. When is a monster not a monster? The million dollar question. âThanks,â he says lightly, a smile tugging at his lips. The idea that Ikaros wants to help fills him with warmth, and Ari is glad to know that he has his brother on his side through this. âThere has to be more than just me around here, right? Here in the city.âÂ
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âStories written by men whoâve been villifying women even during a time when they did not even have the right to land, let alone to craft their own story.â Ikaros interjected, âShe was a nymph, an oceanid specifically. She was cursed, turned into a monster. A hydra. Artemis gave her the power to choose whatever form she wished.â The trickster offered, even when he was a child of the wine cult Scylla was considered old, one of the original shifters who were regarded as heroes - guardians and blah blah blah. âOh Ari, there was no one like you before you were a dragon.â Ikaros said cheekily, embracing a cheesy sentiment as he teased his brother lightly. âThere might be.â He shrugged, âItâs worth looking into.â
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lysanderxreisâ:
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Lysander grinned crookedly, already liking the idea of that. They didnât need to worry about logistics anyway â theyâd find one another, no matter what. âThere is no one Iâd rather spend those lifetimes with,â he crooned, turning the corner only to be grabbed. The kobalos wished he could be indifferent, but Ikaros had an easy allure over him. Theyâd gone through this ordeal together, and his body naturally responded in the way he was sure Ikaros wanted it to. His fingertips ghosted over the otherâs neck, âYou are insatiable,â he teased, letting out the breath he was holding when Ikaros stepped away. Lysander could only think about how he was going to get Ikaros back for this later â âLead the way, then. And make it worth my while,â he teased, lacing his fingers through the otherâs hair and pulling him in for a hard kiss. âAnd with my dull reward, Iâll make sure you canât sit for the next week.â
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âGood.â Ikarosâ remarked, his tone near scathing despite the smirk that lined the tricksterâs lips. âIâd kill them if there was.â Though the words were light as a feather, Ikaros meant every single one of them just as sure as he was that Lysander would do the same. âCareful âsander, Iâll hold you to that.â Ikaros taunted, fingers brushing the against the skin of the tricksterâs considerable bicep. This was how the world made sense to him: sex, violence, debauchery, and hedonism. So long as they two were together there was no storm that could not be weathered, a thousand blades couldnât touch them, and a thousand lives their shades would intertwine. âCome-â he tugged after Lysander when their lips at last parted, âthe baths arenât much further. And put your mask back on.â Ikaros fixed his own back on his features before he led Lysander in through the back, melding the mind of every person they passed. Some saw a pair of crones heaving buckets of water for the entitled men of the city, others glimpsed children with mischief in their eyes, some saw nothing at all. The masks were more for theater, Ikaros loved a bit a lot of drama.Â
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milos-othonosâ:
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He was beginning to regret that he had been slow to come to the city when he had heard the callâ but it seemed as though Dionysus had called upon them briefly, then as he often did, vanished without a trace. The kobaloi wanted more, they had been alive and devout for so long, though even that was beginning to sour in the same way that Ikarosâ vineyard did: their godâs affection towards them and theirs towards him was starting to feel like a mockery. Of course, Ikaros picked apart Milosâ true intentions with ease, and he lifted his hands to show that his ruse, while thin, had been seen through. âI cannot live without her,â he said simply. âAnd Mara would kill us both if she knew. The only answer is immortality for her.â He  lightened at Ikarosâ words, pleased that in the end, blood was thicker than the sea that filled the bay. âIâll leave the satyrs for you,â he snorted. âAs a treat.â He looked around the room. âIf weâre to do this, itâll require a very large offering. Probably a sacrifice as well.â A smile quirked at his lips, âIâll find a genasi, will you bring the wine?â
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âYou lived without her for a couple thousand years already, youâll manage.â Ikaros commented, Dionysus had already given them so much, that was the origin of their wine cult but the trickster wasnât in the mood for a lecture. Besides, he was no stranger to heartache, he knew how irrational it could make someone. In fact it was one of his defining characteristics, he did not envy what it was that Milos would inevitably go through, not did he really think a genasi would be willing to help them - but any crazy plan that his cousin cooked up was something Ikaros would inevitably be interested in. âHow about you do everything and then Iâll show up wherever you need.â Ikaros countered, âI have a pack mule at the winery, his name is Elias and he has the face of eeyore the depressed donkey. Heâll bring you a whole barrel.â
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aristondiakosâ:
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He has a hard time arguing with the logic of Ikarosâs words, why the bloodline might have died out in the first place. Itâs true, a dragon is a far cry away from other creatures, even predators like wolves or a big cat. The amount of devastation they could causeâŚÂ Itâs not something that Ari would ever want, but not everyone shares in the same opinion. âScylla was a Hydra, though. That doesnât seem to be much safer,â he points out. Though he supposes perhaps there are none other like her in the world. Are there? He actually doesnât know for sure. âMaybe. I mean, thereâs got to be others out there, right?â Ari canât be the only one that the ritual effected, that had this gene inside them waiting to come alive. Surely there has to be more of the bloodline left. âMaybe we would be better if we found each other.âÂ
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âEverything Iâve heard about Scylla said that she was a good person, kind. Stories later painted her as a monster but that was before she became one of the original shifters.â Ikaros offered, âShe also wasnât creating more Hydra.â The trickster added, dragons were inherently destructive were they not - and the ability to create more of them was a threat to just about everything else in this world. âI think itâs very likely others were awakened alongside you.â Ikaros said simply, âIf you want to find more like you Iâd be happy to help. Youâre my brother, I canât have you running off on a dragon quest without me.âÂ
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luciankayamesâ:
âSpending time together sans clothes.â Itâs a sarcastic statement, but he canât help but smirk because it is just such an Ikaros thing to imply. Thereâs still alarm bells going off inside his head and yet, looking at Ikaros, shifting to lean against his side somewhat, he thinks itâll be okay. While the other man seems hellbent on hedonism, he does think that he truly loves him. Lucian trusts him, more than heâs ever trusted anyone in a relationship and heâd nearly married someone who was taking bites out of him. If someone could stay with him after heâd died not once, not twice, well he should be giving that damn ring to Ikaros, he supposed. But they have time for that and they have time for Lysander and he turns his body just enough to be able to reach for the side of the other manâs face. Stormier hues bore into electric blues and in a moment of pure sap, he bumps his nose lightly to Ikarosâs before heâs pressing his lips to his. Itâs brief, it has him leaning his forehead against his as his fingers move from his face, down the side of his neck, to rest on his shoulder. âI trust you.â
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âIt is that, yes.â Ikaros smirked as Lucian turned to face him. The trickster could read people easily, it was a benefit to his own particular affinity for madness - most often he was ten steps ahead of everyone. It was rare for him to not be the smartest person in the room, and if he couldnât be that he was always the most inebriated. Lucian though, Lucian was always a bit of a mystery. Ikaros could guess what thoughts hid behind those storm clouds, but somehow the vampire always managed to surprise him. That was perhaps one of the things that Ikaros loved about him, Lucian was in no way predictable, it was the one thing they truly shared in common. Lucianâs nose bumped his own, their lips met, and Ikaros let his hands glide over the otherâs sides as he pulled him closer. âThank you.â He said simply because in his heart he knew this was a big asking for anyone, and Lucian was no exception. âStay here until I fall asleep?âÂ
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