ihaveasecretlesbocrushonyou

[ihaveasecretlesbocrushonyou]

Girlfriend doesn’t understand that I’m asking for more space/a break because this is how I’d be as a wife but because I’m trying to determine whether I can agree to ever become her wife.

[ihaveasecretlesbocrushonyou]

Lust after me all you want. It’s what you’ve been doing and the only thing your level of maturity is capable of.

[ihaveasecretlesbocrushonyou]

Probably not spending summers in Asheville together

[ihaveasecretlesbocrushonyou]

well at least she sincerely admitted and apologized for not sincerely working on herself and valuing me fully

but i feel stupid for believing & trusting she ever would

[ihaveasecretlesbocrushonyou]

I wish people would finally put more value on black women.

[ihaveasecretlesbocrushonyou]

I know I’m “not just a baby mama” but it doesn’t hurt any less that it can’t be any other way with you.

Why she doesn’t see marriage or legal partnership with me before parenthood is beyond me.

[ihaveasecretlesbocrushonyou]

Do you want me to hold you? 💁🏿‍♀️

If you want to

🫠

Things got better when there was the possibility that I’d leave and move to Japan. That was until tonight.

[ihaveasecretlesbocrushonyou]

Things got better when there was the possibility that I’d leave and move to Japan. That was until tonight.

[ihaveasecretlesbocrushonyou]

Relationships take work but emotional connection should be the easy part.

[ihaveasecretlesbocrushonyou]

Questions I wonder for N:

How often do you feel horny but not want to connect with me?

What does ready to marry look like for you?

Are you open to marrying and having a wedding later?

What does alignment and unified goals look like to you?

Things I tell myself:

You’re strong. You’ll get through this.

I’m learning so much about love and what I want.

We struggle to have deep conversations about our future or major steps in our relationship without becoming triggered emotionally and it ending in a fight.

[ihaveasecretlesbocrushonyou]

What are we going to do moving forward after this?

I really do not know.

She said we are not ready for marriage.

I replied no we are not.

[ihaveasecretlesbocrushonyou]

Why is she so critical of k when c cheated on s?

[ihaveasecretlesbocrushonyou]

And she act like how we share news with each is new…we have always shared big news with each other first. Now she we want to funny.

[ihaveasecretlesbocrushonyou]

Her reasoning for her violent behavior at her parents was because we were living in their garage. I was living in the garage and managed to control my behavior and not be violent.

[ihaveasecretlesbocrushonyou]

I just wanted to talk about how I want to eat less processed food.

Can I be safe with you when I ramble at night about my concerns? I wish I could.

[ihaveasecretlesbocrushonyou]

Can I be safe with you when I ramble at night about my concerns? I wish I could.

[ihaveasecretlesbocrushonyou]

So her problems w me include

• I don’t listen to her

• I don’t understand her

• I often take what she says and negatively make it about me.

That last one is interesting because she literally took my offer of an out and accused me of not believing she could break up with me if she wanted without an out.