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igarashixx · 4 months ago

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i am once again thinking about how every single florence + the machine song is about serena joy waterford

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igarashixx · 4 months ago

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The Handmaid's Tale: 3x01 | 5x07 Parallels.

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igarashixx · 4 months ago

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damned

damned to

damned to love

damned to love you

my heart can't pull through

damned to love

damned to love you

~~~

hands all over me

swaying from your drinks

fight!!!

fall asleep

hands all over me

swaying from your drinks

fight!!!

fall asleep

~~~

You are the only who ever felt right

tailspinning into the night

don't say it's not a big deal

you don't know the way i feel

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igarashixx · 4 months ago

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the prettiest girl // her hot husband

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igarashixx · 4 months ago

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what was that moment when you realized 'oh, they could actually work' moment for serena and june???? i was in the middle of binging season 2 when i just went 'oh my god june and serena.' then now i'm in this spiraling hole. by the way i'm so excited for more fanfiction from you

Hmm….. That’s tough. When I started shipping them is actually different than when I convinced myself they could actually work, I suppose.

2x04.

THAT moment.

And I am aware how awful this is. Very aware – thanks, any lurking Nick fangirls, no need to let me know! I know it’s a creepy fucking scene and it’s not meant to be loving or sexy in any way whatsoever.

TOO BAD.

It was when Serena crawled into June’s bed and did this shit. But I remember mostly it was when they focused on her hand slowly moving down and I turned to my wife and said, “OH MY GOD! They’re gonna go there! WHAT IS SHE DOING?! LOOK!!!” And she told me to shut the fuck up, why do you have to make everything gay. That’s when I knew I was a goner, lol. Like, bitch, watch closer and validate my lesbian fantasies okay. OUT OF CONTEXT especially this is scene is like, “Oh, they’re together.” Sorta.

(I would also like to point out that the wifey recently (as in during S3) said, “Why exactly aren’t they fucking already?” about June/Serena and she NEVER says shit like that. Her excuse is that the show is already ridiculous enough as it is now, there’s no reason why that would be out of the realm of possibility for such a stupid show. So, not the best reasoning, lol, but even the woman who adamantly refuses to “ship” anything ever and thinks I’m an idiot every time two women are on screen together and I go “But!!! Look!!! They should be together!” thinks June and Serena just just stop the games and start banging already. I consider that the final frontier. Dear THT, if you’ve managed to convince her–the woman who despises things like this, then it’s possible.)

SO, anyway, yeah. 2x04 was when I began hating myself and wondering what was wrong in my head that I thought June/Serena would be a healthy, fun idea to get involved with. Cos, trust me, I think every single June/Serena shipper has gone through that phase of, “Holy shit, no. This is so wrong, it’s so bad, it’s so sick, how dare I? What a traitorous brain I have! I know Serena is a horrible human being and their relationship is so fucked up, so toxic, so unbalanced……. but here I am. Flopping around in the trash.” Quietly. On the dl, cos if I said anything out loud, the internet (aka the rest of THT fandom) would kill me.

And they tried, of course. Once I got some courage to be like, I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU THINK. I SHIP THE MONSTER AND JUNE. They were very effective at first. Before I realised, I’m too old for this bullshit and it’s the fucking internet, who gives a shit what a bunch of other morons online say about me and my FICTIONAL SHIPPING PREFERENCES lmao.

But yeah

^^ my other blog, October 5, 2018. The first June/Serena post I reblogged. The next was The Creepy Scene from 2x04. So, that’s where it began.

Now, in terms of when I thought, “Hey… but, maybe… this could be an actual thing?”

Probably 2x08. I mean, in retrospect and rewatches, 2x06 is obvious. But I remember watching 2x08, especially the beginning (”we could be colleagues”/”she seems pretty fucking happy”), Serena giving June the rose, and then the end when June whispers “Serena” at the door, and going, “Hmm… This is… going in a good direction I like.” Like, of course, I didn’t want to say anything cos it seemed like it’s something fandom would crucify me for. Until I saw a few brave souls speak up. (Now every episode is gay af Serena to me.)

BUT…

I don’t think I fully embraced my trash panda reality until post-s2 however when i posted this gem.

hot take: serena joy is a big giant lesbian and just doesn’t realise it

18/07/18 | 4 NOTES

#I KNOW IT SEEMS REALLY FUCKING CRAZY BUT BEAR WITH ME #NO ACTUALLY. I DON’T FEEL LIKE EXPLAINING MYSELF. #NOBODY INTERACT LOL #NO SERIOUSLY I COULDN’T BE LESS INTERESTED IN STARTING ~~DISCOURSE~~ #INSERT THAT BUTTERFLY JPG. IS THIS A JOKE? #ONLY I KNOW.

So, nothing much has changed, heh.

AND THEN I WENT TO AO3.

It was all over after that and I saw my tribe actually exist, in their tiny little corner of the world.

Now, am I actually convinced they could actually work as a couple? Like, in canon? Ehhhh… Not convinced tbh. Not with the way they insist on writing Serena, or June at this point. Only in headcanon for now, where Serena actually develops a spine and empathy and remorse. Like, for me, Serena MUST change, quite drastically for me to entertain it as anything but inherently fucking toxic and unhealthy (although, arguably, it could never, ever be healthy considering their past together). That’s all there is to it. So, fanfic it is since canon sucks.

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igarashixx · 4 months ago

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