ifyoubroke

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Like, I support the fuck out of trans girls and young trans women, don’t get me wrong. But it would be nice to see some more pics of middle-aged and older trans women, too.

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the bible said adam AND eve so i slept with them both

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Giveaway time! Winner receives one of these jellyfish necklaces or any other sea creature from my shop HERE (indolentjellyfish.etsy.com)

(and with this link http://etsy.me/1F4EReq you get $5 off from any shop!)

Rules:

Reblog to enter

No more than one reblog a day (no giveaway only blogs)

Winner will be chosen by random number generator

I will ship anywhere in the world

Giveaway ends in one week (May 22nd/2015 11:59 pm PST)

Good luck!

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Yesterday my friend and I were walking out of Forever 21 and the wind blew my skirt up a little. I had shorts on underneath (for this very reason) but two guys in a parked car saw it happen and yelled at me to lift it more, I yelled back, “fuck you!” and they laughed. So I took my pocket knife out of my bag and said, “I will slash your fucking tires” and they did not laugh

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Hide! Hide inside ALL day! And most of the night!

ifyoubroke replied to your post “HELLO, EVERYONE!”

Hi KaiLor. How’s Boston treating you? I left the hell hole of Florida too. Though not as far north as you. But north enough to leave some of that heat behind! Pterodactylly yours, Elizabeth

HUZZAH FOR LEAVING FLORIDA! I mean, I love Florida. It’s my home. I miss it a lot. But it’s also like, 60,000 square miles of sarlacc pits and gator holes. And Spanish moss. I miss the Spanish moss, but not the sarlaccs or gators. 

Boston is treating me pretty darn well! I like it here a lot. I feel at home here, which is nice. That was always a small worry, you know? What if I move and it never feels right? But it does. 

I hope your new place is also treating you well. And spends less time trying to kill you with heatstroke. 

Pterodactyl rider out!

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The Satanic Temple, an unlikely and productive ally in the fight for reproductive justice, is following through on a promise to sue the state of Missouri for enforcing antiabortion legislation, which Satanists believe impedes their free exercise of religion. The temple claims that by refusing to grant one of its members, identified as Mary Doe, an exemption to its 72-hour abortion waiting period, the state placed an undue burden on the woman’s religious beliefs in violation of Missouri’s Religious Freedom Restoration Act.

The Satanic Temple is making good on its promise to challenge the state’s 72-hour waiting period under RFRA

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did u know that kristen stewart is not out yet

did u know that she has dated people who id as men in the past

did u know that she could be bisexual

did u know that ladies who like other ladies do not only ever id as lesbians

did u know that im tired of the media [and that includes social media] outing ppl

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It probably shouldn't baffle me anymore, but totally does, how it's people who aren't fat who are all "OMG you can't use that word!"

And they're also usually the ones using the word "fat" to insult people they don't like. But that's neither here nor there, is it? >.>

But then people like me who are fat and identify as fat and proclaim "I am fat and I am beautiful!"

And all the skinny people go "OMG don't call yourself fat!"

Like. What. Can I not call myself fat because I called myself beautiful in the same sentence? Both are true. You don't get to decide I can't reclaim the word fat and proclaim proudly that I am not trying to be skinny and accept my beautiful flubby body as it is. And my body has "body fat" on it, and more than is "socially acceptable." Hence, I have a fat body.

And I still maintain it is a fabulous fat body. Exactly as it is.

I hate the idea that fat girls should be grateful for unwanted attention.

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I love this. <3 I've always hated how much we are supposed to hate ourselves as women just for being human. Like "oh hey, you have a normal human body that doesn't look photoshopped? You're literally disgusting now. Fix yourself" is kind of how I imagine all of those marketing techniques to actually be. It's terrible. Everyone is beautiful and everyone is perfect just for being alive and being you. <3 Never let anyone tell you differently. If they do, give them a new flaw to whine about (by punching them in the face). <3 Let's all try loving ourselves and loving each other exactly as we are. Perfect human beings. In beautiful unique bodies. With all of our very normal human shapes and markings and loveliness.

i’m kind of seeing all these ads fucking everywhere telling women to “embrace our flaws”. whoever said they were “flaws”? what’s a “flaw" anyhow?

let’s look it up.

it’s “a mark, fault, or other imperfection that mars a substance or object.”

MARRED? dude. i’m FINE, me my personal collection of hard-won scars and hairs and curves and and stretch marks and twinkles and wrinkles and folds and flaps and muscles and and freckles and lashes and nails and veins and stuff. 

they’re not “flaws”. fuck that. they are the exactness of me and always will be, nothing to be done about that. 

so let me get all bill hicks for a second here and remind you that every time a satanic-cock-sucking advertisement for shampoo or mascara or overpriced underwear or diet soda or whatever tells you to “EMBRACE YOUR FLAWS” and “ACCEPT YOUR IMPERFECTIONS” and “WORK WITH WHAT YOU’VE GOT, GIRL!” remember what they are actually telling you under all the saccharine and disingenuous marketingbullshit that you are flawed, imperfect, and don’t got much. 

see what they did there?

THAT IS WHY YOU ACTUALLY SECRETLY NEED THEIR SHAMPOO AND MASCARA AND OVERPRICED UNDERWEAR AND DIET SODA AND YOU KNOW IT.

right?

so please for the love of baby jesus let’s stop talking about “embracing our flaws”, shall we, and just get on with this obviousness of being human and whole and real without needing to buy some fucking shampoo. the end

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Well. Sort of feeling better. I was feeling better than how I had been when I posted this. But I've flatlined at blah. :/

Which is better than I was for sure.

But it's not really good.

Tonight was not a good Mental Health night. But I’m feeling better now.

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professor neville being patient with students who need things explained again

professor neville noticing and telling students when their herbology skills have improved since the beginning of the year

professor neville snapping at students who laugh at somebody for getting an answer wrong

professor neville being FURIOUS if it’s another staff member doing it

professor neville encouraging students to pursue careers in magical fields they’re good at even if it’s not what their parents want

PROFESSOR NEVILLE MAKING SURE NO ONE HAS A TEACHER FOR A BOGGART AGAIN

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I asked one of my (male) friends to stop using the phrase “man up” and he has been using “fortify” for the past two weeks instead and it’s just a little thing but honestly it makes a difference

and tbh it’s also pretty funny when I start to deflate in the library and he leans over and goes “FORTIFY”

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Tonight was not a good Mental Health night. But I'm feeling better now.

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~Resume:

•Ability to open mail with teeth. •I will also eat any important document; Homeworks are preferred.

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Okay, soooo as a black person, I’ve never had sunburn. Since I’m going to Puerto Rico & it’s hotter annnd i have this thing where if i get toooo hot, I’ll possibly have a subtle allergic type reaction (rare) i decided it would be wise to get some sunscreen…..i stood in the sun screen aisle for 10 minutes not knowing what brand to get or anything. Then i remembered, well of course I’ve never payed attention to the commercials, they don’t advertise to me anyway. Then i turned the corner & saw this. Thank you Palmer’s because no other brand made this statement. -Rena

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On Asian "accents"

It started when I was in kindergarten, and I was so proud I did not have to go to Bingo class, unlike my friends, because I could speak good English -

although I had no idea what a yellow dog that could spell had anything to do with Chinese. 

(I figure out now that it was probably called Bilingual class)

I am lucky. I speak the fluent, accentless English of newscasters, the dialect spoken by the children of immigrants, that we learned not from our parents but rather from watching Sesame Street and other things on tv.

Last year, a white facebook friend of mine posted, “In order to celebrate Chinese New Year, me talk rike chinese man arr day.” 

And then told me that she was “sorry I was offended” and “she didn’t mean anything by it” when I (nicely, sweetly) told her that that shit was not okay. She said that she saw it the same as doing an accent, like Irish. Or British. Or Italian. (for bonus points, she even said that she has lots of Asian co-workers and friends, and LOVES Asian people, and so is not a racist.)

And when one of my white friends gets drunk, he thinks his “Asian accent” is hilarious.

And I was told by a coworker about the time my Asian coworker mispronounced “Barroway” as “Bwawwoway” and how hilarious it was.

Here’s the thing - can you guess how many Asian people I know who actually say

me rikey

me from _____

me so solly

(or, if you like, the fetishized versions: me so horny, me love you long time)

if you said ZERO, then ding ding ding! Congratulations, you have working brain cells.

No, my misguided fb friend, the “Asian accent” is not an actual imitation of an accent, comparable to your bad British/Irish/Italian - but rather a mockery of Asian people and their supposed inability to speak English. It is the perpetuation of the image of Asian people as perpetual foreigners in America.

Like that time when my family was at an Italian restaurant, and we were speaking to my father in Cantonese, and a drunken white lady said very loudly, “GOD when you come to this country at least learn the language!”

Or when my father was pulled over for speeding, and although he said “what’s the problem, officer?” the first thing the state trooper said was, “Do you speak English?”

Your fake “Asian accents” are not harmless and silly, because at the root of the joke, it says - you, you are stupid. You cannot speak English. You are Other. You do not belong.

my parents have been in this country for 30 years. They have been American citizens for 30 years.

And they are very self-conscious of their imperfect English, afraid that it makes them look ignorant, knowing that it marks them as immigrants. That, after 30 years, you can still be told (in not so many words) that you do not belong.

The Cultural Revolution started in China when my father was 13. He was pulled out of school and, later, sent to work in the fields. (He escaped to Hong Kong when he was 18, but that is another story for another time.)

When my father came to this country, he had a middle school education and did not speak a lick of English. He worked as a busboy at a Chinese restaurant, the evening shift that ran until 3 or 4 in the morning, and went to school during the day.

It took my father ten years to earn his bachelor’s degree. He is now an engineer.

Is this not your “American Dream?”

When my mother came to this country, she spoke very little English. She got a job as an entry level clerk. Over the years she earned one promotion after another. She is now management at a large federal agency, and manages funds for the whole state.

Is this not your “American Dream?”

And my father didn’t understand why his coworkers said, “flied lice, flied lice!” to him over and over and laughed.

And my father is still afraid to speak in a professional setting, even when he has ideas. 

And my mother still checks and double checks her professional e-mails with me, for fear of mockery from the same people she manages.

And people don’t understand why I can’t take a harmless joke. Why I don’t think that shit is funny.

No, I don’t “rikey.” 

No, I won’t “love you long time.”

And no, I’m not sorry.

So, please, kindly - FUCK OFF.

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Also when you are really good at your job, you get to train new hires. For barely more pay. And only when you are training. And constantly expected to be a role model for your peers performing at 110% all. the. time. and still only making the same minimum wage as your peers. And when someone you trained isn't doing their job well, it is considered a poor reflection on you.

There is no part of this diatribe that is not amazing or 100% true.