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The Stepford Way

Ten Tips for a Stepford wife to Learn Active Listening

Listening is an important skill for a Stepford wife in all areas of her life, whether she is dealing with her Husband or family relationships or supporting her Husband through health problems. Most Stepford wives are not as good at listening as she likes to think.

When a Stepford wife shows she is really listening, it is so much more rewarding for her Husband, and she will get so much more out of the conversation as well. This is what is called active listening, and it can help eliminate misunderstandings and end the potential for a Stepford wife appearing disrespectful to her Husband.

Here are Ten Ways for A Stepford wife to Make her Communications More Effective and Make her Husband Feel Respected and Valued.

ONE - A Stepford wife faces her Husband and maintains eye contact (if that is allowed in her dynamic)

Eye contact is an important part of a face to face conversation with her Husband. Too much eye contact can be intimidating, though, so she should adapt this to the situation she is in. A Stepford wife can try breaking eye contact every five seconds or so, or to show she is listening attentively, look at one of her Husband’s eyes for five seconds, then look at His another eye for five seconds, then switch to looking at His mouth. When she looks away, looking to the side or up is better than looking down, which can seem like she wants to end the conversation (this might be different in some relationship dynamics).

A Stepford wife should check her posture to ensure her posture is open - she should never cross her arms or cross her legs, which can make her look ‘closed’ or defensive. Also, her leaning slightly forward or sideways while sitting can show that she is listening – as can a slight tilt of her head or resting her chin on her hand.

TWO - Watching for non-verbal cues as well

A Stepford wife pays attention to what her Husband is saying with His body language

A Husband’s facial expressions, tone of voice and gestures can tell her just as much as what is being said in words. A Stepford wife pays attention to what her Husband is saying with His body language - is He smiling, for example, or is His arms crossed defensively, or is He rubbing His eyes as if He is tired or upset. Even on the phone, a Stepford wife can learn a lot from the tone of her Husband’s voice, which might sound subdued or upbeat.

Three - A Stepford wife does not interrupt

Being interrupted is frustrating for a Stepford wife’s Husband – it gives the impression that she thinks she is more important, or that she does not have time for what her Husband has to say. If a Stepford wife is naturally a quicker thinker or speaker, she must force herself to slow down so that the her Husband can express himself. A Stepford wife needs to remember that a pause or a few seconds of silence does not mean that she has to jump in. Letting her Husband speak will make it easier for her to understand His message.

Even interruptions to respond to something that her Husband has said can be distracting if it means the conversation gets sidetracked from what He is trying to tell His Stepford wife about. If this does happen, a Stepford wife can steer the conversation back to “So, you were telling me about…”.

FOUR - A Stepford wife listens without judging, or jumping to conclusions

If a Stepford wife starts reacting emotionally to what is being said, then this can get in the way of listening to what is said next. A Stepford wife must try to focus on listening. Equally, a Stepford wife does not assume that she knows what her Husband is going to say next.

FIVE - A Stepford wife does not start planning what she is going to say next

A Stepford wife cannot actively listen and prepare her response at the same time.

SIX - A Stepford wife shows that she is listening

A Stepford wife nods her head, smiles and makes small responses like “yes Sir” and “no Husband”, to show that she is listening and to encourage her Husband to continue. A Stepford wife does not fidget, look at her watch (unless there is a cake in the oven), or play with her hair or fingernails (unless she is perhaps a Stepford bimbo).

SEVEN - A Stepford wife never imposes her opinions or solutions

It may not always be easy, but lending a listening, supportive ear can be much more rewarding than telling her Husband what He should do. When her Husband has health problems is a time when He probably want to tell her how He is feeling, and get things off His chest, rather than listening to a lot of advice about what He should be doing.

In other areas of the Stepford life too, most Husbands prefer to come to His own solutions. If she really must share her brilliant solution, a Stepford wife should ask her Husband first if He wants to hear her solution – she can say something like, “would You like to hear my suggestions Sir?”

EIGHT - A Stepford wife stays focused

As a Stepford wife, if she is finding it difficult to focus on what her Husband is saying, she can try repeating His words in her head as He says them – this will reinforce what He is saying and help her to concentrate. A Stepford wife will try to shut out distractions like other conversations going on in the room so she can focus and she definitely does not look at her phone.

NINE - A Stepford wife asks questions

A Stepford wife asking relevant questions can show that she has been listening and help clarify what her Husband has been said.

If a Stepford wife is not sure if she has understood correctly, she should wait until her Husband pauses and then say something like, “did You mean that ‘x'…”. Or “i’m not sure if i understood what You were saying about ‘y'…”.

A Stepford wife should also use open questions where she can, like, “how does that make You feel?” “What did You do next?”

TEN - A Stepford wife paraphrase and summarizes

A Stepford wife repeating what her Husband has said really shows she has been paying attention, and allows her Husband to correct her if she has not understood what was said.

Sometimes called reflecting, this is repeating what has been said to show that a Stepford wife understands what has been said. This may seem awkward at first, but this really shows a Stepford wife has been paying attention, and allows her Husband to correct her if did not understand it correctly.

If a Stepford wife is not sure how to do this, she can try starting a sentence with, “it sounds like You are saying…”.

And a Stepford wife must remember that practice makes perfect.

Old habits are hard to break, so a Stepford wife will need to make a conscious effort to become an active listener. A Stepford wife can try spending a week in which she summarizes the main points or outcomes at the end of each conversation with her Husband. This will help a Stepford wife get into the habit of active listening. 

A Stepford wife knows that through progress comes perfection.

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Lauren Bacall and Humphrey Bogart on set of THE BIG SLEEP (‘46)

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I don't want to be strong and independent and powerful. I want guidance. I want to be taken care of. I want to be safe. I want to be looked after.

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Sareh Nouri Spring 2024 Bridal “Last First Kiss”

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"There is nothing I want more than to turn a house into a home with you".

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A Two Way Street

If you want a man that works

You have to be a woman that serves

If you want a man that leads

You have to be a woman that follows

If you want a man in a suit

You have to be a woman in a dress

If you want a man that provides

You have to be a woman that obeys

He will dedicate himself 100% to his role, but you have to also.

You cannot decide to listen when it’s convenient and act out when it’s not.

He sacrifices a lot for you.

He expects the same in return.

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Why you should be pro Patriarchy:

Physical Limitations: Women just don't have the muscle mass or the rugged endurance to keep up with men in physically demanding jobs. It's biology, not bigotry.

Biological Factors: From the inconvenience of monthly periods to the demanding nature of pregnancy, it seems Mother Nature herself designed women for tasks other than toiling in the workplace.

Safety Net: In a patriarchal setup, women are cosseted and cared for, freeing them from having to face the harsh realities of the world. Isn't it easier to let the men do the heavy lifting?

Emotional Rollercoasters: Women are emotionally wired and more prone to mood swings, which could cloud rational judgement - not exactly a trait you'd want in your board room.

Home, Sweet Home: Women are naturals at homemaking, child-rearing, and creating a cozy haven. Why aspire to a corner office when you can reign supreme in your own domestic castle?

Good Old Dependence: Relying on men for financial stability isn't a weakness, but a sensible lifestyle choice. Why strive for independence when you can bask in comfortable dependence?

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Want more Patriarchal short stories (1,000+ words)? Want to read an ongoing novel set in a heavily Patriarchal society? Want a custom story, hypno, or caption? Check out my Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/ProfessorPatriarchy.

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