ifeeleverythingiwrite

[ifeeleverythingiwrite]

[ifeeleverythingiwrite]

A couple weeks ago I was at a protest where one of the protestors were shot by a peace keeper. My first instinct was to write a poem to process what I saw.

Two gunshots like fireworks

A crowd splitting like the red sea

Frenzied yelling like celebration

Our 2nd amendment

Is this what freedom looks like?

Brave enough to hold a gun

Bold enough to silence voices

We the people rushing for safety

United in our fear and frenzy

A single tranquil body in the streets

Told it was for our defence.

[ifeeleverythingiwrite]

The Vape Dilemma

A puff of a vape contains toxic metals

I may like the idea

Of knives

scratching at my throat

Filling my lungs with liquid pain

a faster death might be mercy.

And vapes contain unknown amounts of nicotine

Unknown amounts of quelling my mind

A roaring crowd of thoughts fading to background music

My muscles melting after wound too tight

A single inhale from my hand sized vape

carries currents of shame

It rots my insides

Why can't I just be kind to myself?

Why can't I stop?

Everyone knows I am weak.

Everyone knows the lengths I've gone to to heal-

To quit.

Everyone knows I'm not better.

Inside this vape is a world

Where the people I love grieve

Where I live a quiet life

Of peace

of self loathing

I hold this vape like a child

One birthed to mend a dying relationship.

Save me.

Save me.

[ifeeleverythingiwrite]

i hope i meet the love of my life before i violently die, overwhelmed by the shame of living without

i found myself in empty rolling fields a single tree emerging from the earth i walk over to it's shade and i found the most beautiful thing i had ever seen

ghostly pale and white hair green piercing eyes dressed in a long, white gown i know what i need now

she phased right through me tears fall down my face she was just there, i swear my soulmate just disappeared

i twitch softly as i feel something strange my spine tingling with an unknown shame my face contorts as i fall over hard seizing and crying on the ground

[ifeeleverythingiwrite]

I'M GETTING PUBLISHED BY THE SLCC (community college near me) WRITING CENTER'S MAGAZINE

First time ever being published... LEZZ GOO!!

[ifeeleverythingiwrite]

i keep seeing this post about how there's no such thing as bad writing and i understand that it's meant to be encouraging but like. there is. there just is!

sometimes an ending doesn't land. sometimes a plot line is too convoluted. sometimes dialogue is stilted. writing can be cliche or redundant or unclear or just not flow well

and unless you're a writing prodigy who has been curating perfectly crafted prose since birth, you're gonna write something bad. god knows i've written plenty of bad (and still do). it's part of the process!

knowing why something doesn't work is more beneficial than just saying, "well it's art, it can't be bad"

all of this to say, there's no such thing as unimportant writing. only way to get better is to practice, and when you practice, you're inevitably gonna fail. and that's fine! that's normal! don't limit yourself by refusing to acknowledge and analyze those failures

[ifeeleverythingiwrite]

I broke up with him 😀

My Brown Eyed Boy

Today I folded the world

And created a window to see

Your eyes

roots buried deep in the ground

The land goes on for miles

Yet we've never seen it's core

But we can feel it's warmth

And when the ground shakes

I'm reminded that you are so much more

[ifeeleverythingiwrite]

"Retrograde Amnesia"

I wish I had amnesia’s grace To wipe her name from every place To wake and not recall her face Or how her laugh would fill the space To walk through rooms we used to share And feel no ghosts still waiting there To pass the mirror, calm, composed Not haunted by the life I chose They say forgetting steals the flame But memories just fan the same They light the match, then walk away And leave you in the ash and grey I’d lose the scent of midnight rain That always drags her back again Erase the street, erase the sky Where once we learned to say goodbye I’d strip the poems from my skin The ones she stitched so deep within Forget the nights I couldn’t breathe And every vow I can’t retrieve She taught me love like sacred fire Then turned to smoke and climbed it higher I knelt in hope, she stood divine But gods don’t shiver when you pine I made her holy in my chest But love like that won’t let you rest It carves your soul with every breath And slowly rhymes itself with death I wish I had amnesia’s hand To pull me from this sinking sand To take the words she left behind And wash them from my weary mind If someone asked who broke me so I’d shrug, and simply never know No ache behind a smiling face No echo I would still embrace When I see homes left torn and bare I see myself still standing there The walls are cracked, the paint is dry But no one ever asks me why No windows left to show the light No doors to hold the dark at night Just silence dressed in shadow's thread And hope that softly plays dead I wish I had amnesia's touch To feel a little, not too much To drift without a name to call To never rise, nor ever fall Forget the song she used to hum The way my hands would come undone Forget the look, the loss, the flame Forget I ever spoke her name Forget I begged her just to stay Forget she chose to walk away Forget the prayers, forget the cost Forget the depth of what I lost So if forgetting brings me peace Then let these haunted memories cease Let every rhyme she gave to me Be drowned beneath amnesia’s sea And when they ask what tore me through I’ll smile like I never knew No cracks inside, no scars above Just one who simply lost his love

[ifeeleverythingiwrite]

I want to write so many bad poems, half written nonesense that only few will understand. I want to write exceptional poems that set fire to worlds. I want every living person to see my soul carved in ink. I want to hide my unformed thoughts behind metaphors and similes that sweep people away. I want my poetry to be right. I want it to be messy and fiery and freeing. I want I want I want I want.

[ifeeleverythingiwrite]

Spirit Petals 🌸✨

A sakura in blossom

whispers pink and white,

soft, fine, and gentle

- Rising

Its roots stretch deep 

into Mother Earth,

solid, strong, and sturdy

- Staying

[ifeeleverythingiwrite]

Shame tastes like sulphur

We kiss the match, lick the fire

Bless our blisters, still

Smiling through the sanguine slick

All these broken bones still dance

[ifeeleverythingiwrite]

A little reflection on growth and change.

[ifeeleverythingiwrite]

My Brown Eyed Boy

Today I folded the world

And created a window to see

Your eyes

roots buried deep in the ground

The land goes on for miles

Yet we've never seen it's core

But we can feel it's warmth

And when the ground shakes

I'm reminded that you are so much more

[ifeeleverythingiwrite]

Dear God I keep vomiting black ink and I think the truth is in there somewhere, I can’t keep it down.

[ifeeleverythingiwrite]

[ifeeleverythingiwrite]

I think i know the world just a little and I always find out Im wrong. I get used to new truths until those are wrong too. My eyes adjust to artificial light. The world is something I find I know nothing of, despite it containing all I do know.

I know nothing. I guess we may be fragments of people , flesh bumping around in the void. I wonder if this is freedom; I wonder if we are the patterns in these fragments, built layers upon built layers. I wonder if nothing is true, does that mean anything can be real?

[ifeeleverythingiwrite]